My inspiration for this post came from my dear, longtime blogging friend, Debbie @ Musings by an ND Domer's Mom, who is not only a gifted...
Since Mother's Day is just around the corner, I wanted to take this time to celebrate those of you who are mother's and mom's.
I hope you all realize just how important and precious you are to your children, because you are!
For me, my mother was such a huge influence on my life. And although she was my stepmother, she was every bit a real mother to me. She and I had a very special connection. We shared a lot of the same feelings and perspectives on so many things. However, there were also things in which we shared a difference of opinion, yet we respected each other by discussing our differences without getting defensive or nasty. We sensed how far to go and then would back off. We were very attuned to each other's space and boundaries.
And although we lived in different states from 2001 until her passing in 2012, we always stayed connected. It's not like we talked on the phone every single day, or even every week, but when we did talk, it was quality. And we could talk for hours on end; going from one subject to the next -- laughing one minute and introspective the next. Conversations with my mother were more like sharing with a loyal, close friend.
About three weeks before she passed away, we talked openly about her fear of dying and leaving this earth with regrets; not knowing whether she had been a good mother and doubted some of the choices she had made. It was at that point I got very stern and serious, telling her that I would not allow her to leave this earth with a single regret about being a good mother because she was the best mother I could have been given. I also told her that every choice she had made as our mother were the choices she was supposed to make, so feeling any kind of regret was pointless. She also told me that she was concerned about after she died, would she go to heaven? She was worried that perhaps she hadn't lived a life that made her worthy. And I told her that if anyone was worthy of heaven, she was.
By the end of our conversation, I could tell that she felt much less anxious and afraid.
Our conversation that night was as important for me as it was for her because it gave us closure by saying everything we needed to say. What I loved about our relationship was that my mother and I could talk openly about difficult things. We never shied away from them.
The reason I'm sharing all this with you is because of something that happened to me one day last week.
I had been thinking of my mother because I knew that Mother's Day was coming up and felt myself missing her. One day while going through a small box of papers, I suddenly discovered a birthday card that she had mailed to me on one of my birthdays. I had thrown away so many things over the years because I don't like clutter, but somehow I kept this card.
And I am so glad I did because it was exactly what I needed on the day that I found it.
I would like to share it with you...
I scanned this card, so you may have difficulty reading it.
*Here's what she wrote:
Ron, I am so proud of your courage, all on your own you accomplished many challenges. "You deserve the Best"
Love, Ann & Tipper
(Tipper is a nickname for my younger brother, Tom)
After reading the card, I held it on my heart and smiled. Because even in heaven, my mother and I remain connected.
Her love keeps on giving and will forever be a huge influence on my life.
Thank you, dear lady!
And know that you are loved, as well.
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Happy Mother's Day to each of you! 💗
*This is a tribute video I made of my mother after she passed away. I know that many of my longtime blogging friends may have already seen it, however, I wanted to share it again within this post because it exemplifies what a lovely human being she was.
Her favorite song was, "Smile"...
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