Wednesday, September 15, 2021

Update On My Personal Shopper Business For Mature Women

Today I thought I would give you an update on what's going on with my personal shopper business that I started almost two years ago.

Short answer?

Nothing. 

Long answer?

The reason for nothing happening is a combination of two things. One, I've lost my passion for the beauty industry, perhaps through being burned out from doing it for over 30 years. And two (the stronger reason), the negative feedback I got from women.

Yes, you heard me right, negative feedback from women.

Which totally shocked me at first because here I was trying to help and support women to feel more inclusive as they matured with age, yet they didn't want to hear what I had to say because they were focused on trying to stay young. 

I realize that much of that has to do with how the media force-feeds women images of younger-looking models in all the ad campaigns that say, "This is how you're supposed to look at 45, 50, and 60." Which is farcical because all the ad models are in their early 20's and 30's. 

A Perfect Example:

What these images of younger women are doing is making mature women feel the need to recapture something that they used to be. And I've always been against that, instructing women to stop looking at these photographs because they aren't real. Even the women (girls) in the photographs don't look like that in real-life. Believe me, every photo you see in an ad is literally an illusion. And it kills me to see women on Instagram who are labeled and praised as "Top Beauty Influencers" and have 875k followers who are influencing other females to actually feel worse about themselves because the photographs they post on their feeds are all painfully contrived and digitally enhanced, making women believe they have flawless skin and a picture-perfect, storybook life.

Having been in the industry for so many years, I know for a fact that the men in the cosmetic advertising business are the ones who create these "youth oriented" images of what women should look like because men feel younger being around younger women. It's all about what's attractive to them. So yes, men in advertising are the ones who started this fraudulent belief system within the beauty industry.

Yet at some point, many women started to buy into the belief that looking young is the only thing that makes them attractive. Therefore, women are now perpetuating that myth by influencing other women to feel the same, which is to do whatever you can to hold onto your youth because that's the only way you'll be successful in this world.

Attempts At Starting My Business:

I tried many different ways to offer my business to women over the past two years, such as, offering (for free) guest speaking engagements for women's groups (specifically mature women's groups) to talk with them about aging and sharing my professional experience in taking care of their skin and using makeup without chasing youth. 

Yet, I barely got a response. And the few responses I did get via email had a very uptight feeling in the way they were worded. I could tell they felt uncomfortable talking about aging. 

I also spent weeks and months researching some of the top estheticians who either had their own skincare businesses, or worked for some of the top spas here in Philadelphia in an attempt to work together in ways that would benefit both our businesses. I figured that I could hand out their business cards to my personal shopper clients to support their business, and they could hand out my business cards to their facial clients to support my business. It was a win-win situation I thought.

However, after speaking with them on the phone and trying to set up a time for us to meet, they would either tell me they would call me back to make plans to meet for coffee but never called, or they would tell me that they would think about it and then I would never hear from them again. When I followed up with them, they ignored my emails. 

So, one day I decided to go online and google the Instagram account of one of the estheticians I had contacted and saw photo after photo of her showing what gorgeous skin she had, but I immediately could tell that her face was the result of injectables (Botox, Dysport, Juvederm, Restylane) all of which relax, smooth, and fill the face, giving her skin the appearance of a twentysomething-year old.

And that's when it finally dawned on me why I wasn't getting any responses. These business were making their money from telling women to resist aging, while I was telling women to embrace it. 

Hey listen, even though I might not agree with the procedure, if someone gets injectables that's their personal choice. But what I strongly object to is sharing photographs of yourself with flawless, smooth skin and plumped-up lips, and then telling other women they too can look like this by simply using skincare products and getting facials from you.

Several weeks ago I walked past a medi spa where they offer injectables and saw a sign like this on the sidewalk by the front door, enticing women to come inside and purchase the lips they've always wanted.

And incidentally, this spa is owned and operated totally by WOMEN... 

As I've shared in past blog posts, I see nothing negative about using makeup and skincare products. However, my outlook and approach to beauty products has never been about making women look younger. My approach has always been about allowing women to celebrate their own unique beauty, and using products to accentuate it at any age.

But chasing after youth is something I do see as a negative because it's an unending chase. And women should know that because remaining young is constantly being projected on them. Therefore, I would think that female influencers, beauty advisors, and spa owners would support other women through the aging process, rather than look at it as something that is taboo. 

As a man, I feel that women are harshly judged by age, much more than men. Not only does that make me angry, but sad as well. 

And that's the reason I attempted to start this business. To support women, letting them know that they are valued and celebrated as they mature.

In conclusion:

So for right now, I've put this business on hold until I feel the desire to offer my services again. I'm keeping my website up, just in case someone finds it and has any questions. 

In life, sometimes you have to move away from something in order to get a different perspective and then return to it.

So, we'll see.

And I'm okay with that. 

Have an AWESOME rest of your week, everyone! 

And remember ladies, you are beautiful and valued at any age! 💗