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My Catholic School History-

If you've been reading my blog for sometime now, I'm pretty sure you know that I went to Catholic school. But what you may not know is that during my eighth year, my parents transferred me (thank GOD) to a public junior high school because it was clear that I was not cut out for Catholic school. In fact, the Catholic school nuns actually told my parents to transfer me because they thought that I would fail the eighth grade and not move forward to the ninth. I had horrible grades. And it's not that I was dumb, but rather I could not learn under the fear-based, guilt-ridden tutelage of Catholic school. It is my personal belief that religion and education should not be taught as one, particularly when a school uses religion as a "persuasive tool" to educate its students.

It amazed my parents how much better I did in public school. I went from being a D and F student, to a B and A student. And that was due to being in a completely different environment. I felt freer in public school.

Throughout my life I've met some people who enjoyed going to Catholic school, which is awesome. However, it was not for me because I am not one who can learn when I disagree with how I'm being taught.  

But I have to say that I did encounter a few nuns, lay teachers, and priests who I really liked and connected with.

And I also have to say that going to Catholic school gave me a lot of blog fodder. Such as this post about a memory I have of Ash Wednesday when I was a kid.  

If you're not familiar with Ash Wednesday, you can read about it here. The article explains how the Catholic church specifically honors Ash Wednesday; what it means; and what the ashes symbolize.

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I completely forgot about Ash Wednesday being this week because, well, no longer being a Catholic, I don't keep up with those things.

While I was running errands early Wednesday morning, I saw a few people on the streets with ash on their foreheads. It started out subtly, but then I began to witness more and more people walking towards me with ashes. And then it dawned on me, "Oh my God, I know what today is!!" For a minute there I was beginning to feel like I was trapped in some kind of Stephen King movie entitled, The Ash Wednesday Haunting, in which I was the only one without ashes. 

I swear, this is exactly what the sidewalk resembled last Wednesday.

It looked like a sea of crosses that were saying to me, "Get your ash in church!"


My Ash Wednesday Confession -

For as long as I can remember, the only thing I liked about going to church on Ash Wednesday were the ashes that the priest would place on your forehead in the sign of the cross, like this...


And being that I was a very dramatic child, I always hoped and prayed that when the priest placed the ashes on my forehead that he would be generous. I wanted my cross to be really black. And I mean REALLY black. And I also wanted the priest to give me a strongly defined cross, like this one...


Oh, but noooooooooooo! What I always got from every priest looked more like someone had thrown a charcoal briquette at my forehead that barely grazed me.

How lame is this?... 


I felt like saying, "Come on, Father Jacob...is this your idea of a CROSS?!?!? I think you need to go back to the seminary and retake your Ash Wednesday cross-making class!"

So, do you know what I used to do before I walked into the house on Ash Wednesday after school? 

I did something so completely sacrilegious, but oh-so creative and fun.

As soon as I got off the school bus, I would walk up the driveway where my mother kept her car and slide into the drivers seat. You see, my mother was a smoker. And a heavy smoker. Therefore, her car ash tray was always filled with cigarette ashes. I would dip my thumb into the tray and then add ashes to whatever ashes the priest had placed on my forehead, while using the rear view mirror. And not only that, but I would accentuate the cross by making it HUGE.

The best part of the day was sitting at the dinner table, while everyone in my family compared their Ash Wednesday crosses. 

Of course, mine being the BIGGEST...


Peace Be With You .......🞧

28 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, the hilarity of your ashtray maneuver is beyond belief. Only a youngster would think of such a thing. But, I must confess, as I was reading your blog, I was sure you were going to tell us you used your mother's car exhaust pipe to mark your forehead!! You wanted the authentic "ash". Genius, but still funny.
    Now you have me wondering if anyone ever gave up going to church services for Lent. ( Sorry, talk about sinful)
    Happy weekend Ron.

    http://hootin--anni.blogspot.com

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  2. Ron, I have to let you know that both my husband and I read your post this morning and laughed our asses off. Being that we both attended a Catholic school, we couldn't agree more with your feelings about how they teach in Catholic school, but we also found what you said HILARIOUS! ""Come on, Father Jacob...is this your idea of a CROSS?!?!? I think you need to go back to the seminary and retake your Ash Wednesday cross-making class!" LOL....LOL!!!

    My husband went to a Catholic school for both boys and girls. I on the other hand went to an ALL GIRL school. Oh, how BORING! He had mostly nun teachers, but a few priests. I on the other hand had ALL nuns. Oh, how BORING! What I found most troubling about Catholic school were the disciplinary actions they took to punish you for doing something so simple as chewing gum. Everything is Catholic school was fear based.

    Yes, I do remember Ash Wednesday, and all the other MILLION sacred traditions we had to follow. Palm Sunday, Lent, not eating meat on Good Friday, and going to confession "Bless me father for I have sinned." (remember that?)

    Love the photo of you, Father Ronaldo +! And what you did with the ashes is so hysterical. You should write a memoir on your years at Catholic school, I'm sure it would be a best seller.

    Thanks for the memories and your sense of humor, Ron. I think I'll read it a few more times, just for the laughs! Have a great weekend, Father! xo

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  3. Ron, I did not (thank heavens) went to Catholic school, but one of my roommates in college had gone to a Catholic Grammar and High School and said very much what you did in this post. She said it was fear-based and guilt-ridden. And she hated that she had to wear a uniform. Did you have to wear one too?

    I can't tell you how much I laughed at this post. I'm still friends with my college roommate through FB, so I'm going to pass this on to her. She was get such a kick out of it, I know she will.

    What you did with the ashes is hilarious! And creative indeed! Love the picture of you too!

    Thank you for the early morning laughs, Ron. Happy weekend! x

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  4. Good morning, Anni!

    Wasn't I an devilish little boy? I'm sure there's a seat in hell for me with my name on it. LOL!!!

    "I was sure you were going to tell us you used your mother's car exhaust pipe to mark your forehead!! You wanted the authentic "ash". Genius, but still funny."


    OMG...that is HILARIOUS!!!! And yes....GENIUS! Damn, why didn't I think of that? Had you and I been in Catholic school together as kids, I'm sure we'd have been a brilliant pair!!!

    And it's ironic that you mentioned LENT because every year I would give up something that I liked (such as Turkish Taffy candy), but never completed the 40 days without cheating and eating it anyway. HA!

    Happy weekend, Anni! And thanks so much for stopping by!

    X

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  5. Hellooooooooooooooooooooooo fellow-Catholic school attendee!

    And I had a feeling (being that you are Italian and live in the Northeast) that you went to Catholic school too! And your husband too!

    I went to a school with both boys and girls, however, there was a Catholic high school not far from where we lived that my older brother attended where they had TWO separate school buildings - one for the boys and one for the girls. And they weren't even allowed to mingle outside together. The boys had to stay on the boys side and the girls on the girls side. Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous!?!?

    "Palm Sunday, Lent, not eating meat on Good Friday, and going to confession "Bless me father for I have sinned." (remember that?)"

    YES to all of those! And speaking of confession. Do you know what I used to do when I would confess my sins to the priest? I would confess the same three sins every single time I confessed. I lied! Which was a sin unto itself. HAHAHAHAHA!

    I made that photo using three different photo edited websites, and had so much fun making it.

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by and sharing your Catholic school memories, Elaine! And yes, maybe one day I will write a memoir and entitle it, "True Confessions From a Catholic School Boy!" LOL!

    Have a faaaabulous weekend!

    X

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  6. Hey there, Candice!

    Yes...the boys had to wear a uniform as well. We had to all wear black pants, a white STARTCHED shirt, black (perfectly shined) shoes, black socks, and a specific tie that was given to use by the school. However, the girls had to wear a COMPLETE outfit that the school required them to wear (dress, shirt, socks, and beanie).

    As your roommate said, Catholic school was all about fear and guilt. That's what they used to teach, which is why I refused to learn. I was a very defiant kid, who refused to be manipulated, which is why Catholic school and I didn't mix. HA!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, Candice! Have a AWESOME weekend!

    X

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  7. Omg, I thought you were going to tell me you used a charcoal briquette! Lol, you are too much, but I can totally see why you’d want a real cross, not some shadow of a cross! This reminds me of when my son was pissed that when he was in Europe, his passport stamps from different countries were too light! Lol!

    I LOVED this, “I am not one who can learn when I disagree with how I'm being taught.” Amen!!! I’ve never thought about it, but that really resonated with me! I’ve had teachers and professors who were so disrespectful that it was hard for me to learn anything from them. I’m glad your parents saw the light!

    That picture of the crowd with crosses is super creepy! Lol, very movie-like! Some of the Protestant churches I’ve attended have the Ash Wednesday service and some didn’t. I’ve actually never gone to one. My skin is so pale, I picture myself having trouble scrubbing it off! Fun post for this week, Ron. Have a super weekend! If it’s really going to be 65 degrees, I’m going to be in Heaven!

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  8. Ron, as another Catholic school alum (for me, I loved the structure -- probably because I'm a Virgo!), I admit to chuckling over your post. Did you know that some parishes are now *sprinkling* ashes on the person's head, rather than drawing a cross on their forehead?? There's a reason, of course, but you'll have to Google it because I haven't a clue why.


    Anyway, our parish still draws the crosses on your forehead, and this year, mine was huge and black -- enough that I was able to "share" with my mom, who wasn't able to get to church that day! You'd have loved it!!


    Happy Season of Lent, my friend. Fr. Ronoldo is a most interesting look for you! xx

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  9. OMG, that's soooooo funny! And do you know something? That actually would have been a PERFECT idea - using a charcoal briquette because my father always kept a bag in our garage!

    I know, can you believe how lame that shadow of a cross was? And it's pretty much exactly like the ones I used to get from the priests, so you can see WHY I added cigarette ash. LOL!

    "I’ve never thought about it, but that really resonated with me! I’ve had teachers and professors who were so disrespectful that it was hard for me to learn anything from them. I’m glad your parents saw the light!"

    Yes, and that's why I couldn't learn. Plus, in Catholic school they always interjected their religious beliefs when they taught. It was as if being smart and doing as you we told made you closer to God. And that's what I objected to (even as a kid), that God judged by how smart you were.

    Me too, I am so glad my parents saw the light. And when my younger brother started school, they also sent him to public school rather than Catholic. My mother had a cousin and an aunt who were nuns and even they suggested to her to send him to public. Catholic school was also very expensive and they didn't think it was worth the price any longer.

    I know, isn't the photo CREEPY!!?!? I actually edited that photo by placing all the crosses on their foreheads. It took me forever to do it.

    Yup, other churches have Ask Wednesday as well. My grandmother was Lutheran and she would get ashes too.

    "If it’s really going to be 65 degrees, I’m going to be in Heaven!"


    I know can you believe the weather changing back and forth? Today it's in the 30's, however Sunday it's supposed to be 74 in the city!!!!

    Have a faaaabulous weekend, my friend. Enjoy the weather!

    X

    P.S. Just wanted to let you know that while I was shopping at Trader Joe's this morning, I spotted DUKKAH on the shelf. OMG...I was sooooooo excited, they finally got it back in the store. It was only $2.99, so I bought THREE!

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  10. Ron, I laughed so hard at confessing the same three sins every single time you went to confession. OMG...that is hysterical! Love your memoir title too. LOL!

    I never understood the reasoning behind separating boys and girls in school. I mean, when you get out into the REAL world, you're going to have to mingle with the opposite sex!

    X

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  11. I know, wasn't I a BAD little boy? I have a seat in hell waiting for me. LOL!

    Me neither. I guess so you wouldn't get tempted by the opposite sex and concentrate ONLY on your school work. LOL!

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  12. Hellooooooo there, Debbie!

    Like I shared, I know several people who REALLY enjoyed the whole Catholic school experience. And I think that's awesome, I really do. I love structure too (my rising sign is Virgo), so it wasn't the structure that got to me, it was many other things, like the fear and guilt they tried to instill.

    "Did you know that some parishes are now *sprinkling* ashes on the person's head, rather than drawing a cross on their forehead?? There's a reason, of course, but you'll have to Google it because I haven't a clue why."


    OMG...I did not know about that!?!? WOW! Yes, I will google it. But it's like when we were kids the priest would place the sacred host on your tongue, however, now they hand it to you. Back then you were not permitted to touch the host because it was blessed.

    " and this year, mine was huge and black -- enough that I was able to "share" with my mom, who wasn't able to get to church that day! You'd have loved it!!"


    OMG...I am soooooooo jealous! Lucky you! And yes, I would have LOVED it, for sure!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a faaaaaaabulous weekend!

    X,
    Fr. Ronaldo x

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  13. I’ve rationed mine out. I primarily use it on roasted asparagus. I gave a jar to my oldest and she loves it!

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  14. I could so identify with this post, Ron, because I too was raised Catholic. However, while you got out "early" from parochial schools, my education went 12 years, and I can't honestly say they were the best years. If the public school system wasn't so atrocious in my NJ hometown, I am sure my parents would have sent me to public schools. Yes, I remembered that Ash Wednesday was last week as my brother reminded me. He's the one who still attends church regularly. From what I could remember, the ashes always resembled a blob and never a cross. My father was a smoker, but since we walked to grammar school and I later took a bus to high school, the ash tray hack wasn't an option or even one I would have thought about.

    Even though I do not regularly attend church services, I have given up certain things for Lent. My husband, also raised Catholic, tells me he's giving up Brussel sprouts. And, then I remind him that he doesn't eat them anyway.

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  15. Oh, good for you! I've been without it for a year because when I had it I used it constantly and on everything. So when I saw today, I grabbed three so that I would have plenty of backup. LOL!

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  16. LOL! Pleased to meet you Father Ronoldo! There are quite a few recovering Catholics in our church. One joked they needed a shirt that said, "I survived Catholic school." I was raised Lutheran (Catholic light) and observed Ash Wednesday and Wednesday Lent services until Easter. I don't adhere to the stricter observation of the rituals, but am aware of the Lenten season as 40 days of reflection before Easter. I've never "given up" anything for Lent and wonder how many do it as a "fashionable" activity. I'm sure many are genuine about these things so I try not to be quick to assume. Now, we attend an Evangelical Presbyterian church and I have to say, the Christianity "seasons" have taken on a much deeper meaning for me apart from the rituals. X

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  17. Hello there, D!

    "However, while you got out "early" from parochial schools, my education went 12 years, and I can't honestly say they were the best years."


    OMG, you went to parochial school for TWELVE years?!?! Bless you! My older brother did too. I was the first to go to public school and then my younger brother followed.

    "If the public school system wasn't so atrocious in my NJ hometown, I am sure my parents would have sent me to public schools. "


    I understand, totally, because public school was a hit or miss - some were great, others not. When I transferred to public school, I went into a brand new junior high school in PA. It was wonderful. They even had a swimming pool and theater. However, once I got out of junior high and into high school, the school I went to was not very nice. My final year in school was right after my family moved to Florida. That school was WONDERFUL.

    "From what I could remember, the ashes always resembled a blob and never a cross."

    Yes, exactly. It resembled a BLOB.

    "I have given up certain things for Lent. My husband, also raised Catholic, tells me he's giving up Brussel sprouts. And, then I remind him that he doesn't eat them anyway."

    OMG, that is so funny! Kinda of reminds me of myself when I would give up eating seafood when I didn't like it anyway. HA!

    Much thanks for stopping by and sharing your Catholic school memories! Have a fantabulous weekend!

    X

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  18. LOL! I know, and you believe that there was a time in my life when I actually contemplated going into the seminary and becoming a priest? My best friend and I thought we'd do it together. But alas...I did not. However, he did go on and become a priest and is very happy. He's located here in PA.

    " I was raised Lutheran (Catholic light) and observed Ash Wednesday and Wednesday Lent services until Easter."


    Yup, one of my grandmothers (my stepmothers' mother) was Lutheran and she too observed both Ash Wednesday and Lent. Also, Palm Sunday.

    " I've never "given up" anything for Lent and wonder how many do it as a "fashionable" activity."

    My feeling exactly. But like you said, I'm sure there are those who are sincere and genuine about it, such as one of my grandfathers. He so loved being Catholic and everything that went with it. He'd have made such a wonderful priest because he was sincere about that faith and loved God so much. He was a very good man with such a sweet and gentle heart.

    " Now, we attend an Evangelical Presbyterian church and I have to say, the Christianity "seasons" have taken on a much deeper meaning for me apart from the rituals."


    That's awesome. And to me, that is what matters.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a fantastic weekend!

    X

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  19. "It looked like a sea of crosses that were saying to me, "Get your ash in church!" ROFLMAO, Ron! In fact, I found myself laughing all through this post. You crack me up with your sense of humor. And that photo op of you is PRICELESS!!!

    Interesting to hear you talk about your experience in Catholic school. I don't think I would have done well there either. I started off in public school and then when my family moved South, my parents enrolled me in a private school because the public school system there was not good at all. I enjoyed it because they had a great art department, which was my major.

    I shared your post with my girlfriend this afternoon and she wanted me to tell you that she laughed so hard at the cigarette ashes that someone at work asked her what she was laughing about, so she showed them!

    Thanks for your sharing your stories, dude (Father Ronaldo). They are always informative AND thoroughly amusing!

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  20. Hiya Matt!

    I made that photo op by taking two different photos and edited them together on two different photo editing websites. It took me some time.

    "my parents enrolled me in a private school because the public school system there was not good at all. I enjoyed it because they had a great art department, which was my major."


    That's awesome! My younger brother also went to a private school when my family moved to Florida and he loved it. OMG, it was such a beautiful school. And it was HUGE! I think they even had horse stables because they offered horseback riding classes.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, Matt. Wishing you and your girlfriend a faaaaaaaaaaabulous weekend! It's going to get much warmer here this weekend, which is strange because today it was in the low 30's and very windy, but on Sunday it's rising into the upper 70's!

    X

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  21. "Get your ash in church!"

    Brilliant!!

    Oh, Ron, speaking as a recovering Catholic I must say that I absolutely loved this post!

    I know all too well the frustration of a crappy ash application--it's so half-ashed! Dude, trying opening your eyes next time!

    But, unlike you, I would NEVER have had the nerve to embellish the padre's handiwork. That's like buying a one-way ticket to Hell.

    In Catholic school you take it and you like it, even if you hate.

    I guess that was an early sign of your desire to be an actor.

    I'm so glad your parents finally got you out of Catholic school. The fact that your grades improved so dramatically proves they made the right decision.

    Now for my own confession: I didn't have time to get my ashes on Wednesday, but I did refrain from eating meat. So I'm only half-way to hell.

    Great post, Father Ronaldo, now lay off the communion wine!

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  22. Hey there, Rob!

    I KNEW (being a recovering Catholic) you'd completely identify with this post!!!!

    "I know all too well the frustration of a crappy ash application--it's so half-ashed! Dude, trying opening your eyes next time!"

    HAHAHAHHAHAHAH! OMG, cracked me up! "so half-ashed"...BRILLIANT! And you're right..."try opening your eyes next time!"

    I know, I'm sure there's a seat in HELL waiting for me because of embellishing the padre! LOL!

    And you're right...in Catholic school you take it and you like it, even if you hate it. But am soooooo glad that my parents got me the hell out of there because I honestly don't know if I'd have graduated had they not transferred me.

    "Now for my own confession: I didn't have time to get my ashes on Wednesday, but I did refrain from eating meat. So I'm only half-way to hell."


    That's okay you're forgiven. Just say 3 Hail Mary's and 2 Our Father's for your penance. LOL!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your sense of your humor, buddy. LOVED it!

    Wishing you a sacred Sunday!

    X

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  23. OMG Ron you crack me up! I always just wanted to get home to wash my face lol. Please don't even remind me of my few years in Catholic school, and I wasn't even Catholic, so it was really bad for me! Just like you, I went from making low grades to good grades once I transferred to public school. What a relief that was!

    I hope all is well in your world my friend, and sorry I'm so late reading this post. Crazy times at work once again for me. I hope your new job is going well!

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  24. Hellooooooooo there, Martha!

    HA! I went a bit crazy with this post didn't I? But I couldn't help it, that's what CATHOLIC school did to me. LOL!

    "Please don't even remind me of my few years in Catholic school, and I wasn't even Catholic, so it was really bad for me! Just like you, I went from making low grades to good grades once I transferred to public school. What a relief that was!"


    YOU TOO?!?! OMG...that what many Ex-Catholic school students say. And yet, I've met several who actually loved it and got a lot out of it. Oh well, to each his/her own, I guess.

    But isn't it something how your low grades went to good grades, once you transferred? Me too!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. And no worries, you're never late...you're right on time! And yes, my new job is going faaaaaaaaaaaabulously! Thanks for asking.

    Have a superb week!

    X

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  25. Ron, as others have mentioned in their comments, you should write a book about your time in Catholic school because this post was HYSTERICAL! I did not go to Catholic school myself, but my two cousins did, BOTH of who hated it. One of them went for 8 years, the other 12. And judging from their complaints and yours, I am so glad my parents didn't make me go.

    You're idea about the cigarette ash is truly genius! Did you ever tell your mother about it when you got older?

    That photo of you as Father Ronaldo is also genius! Thank you for the laughs, Ron. I read this post twice.

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  26. Hey there, Clair!

    Consider yourself very BLESSED that your parents didn't make you attend Catholic school because it may have scarred you for life, like so many others. LOL!!!

    My older brother went for 12 years as well. He went to an all-boys high school where we lived when we were kids. My younger brother went to a public school at first and then my parents transferred him to a private school after we moved to Florida.

    And yes, I DID tell my mother what did. She was both VERY amused and horrified because she was brought up in a very strict Catholic household.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, Clair! Have a terrific week!

    X,
    Father Ronaldo +

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  27. Ron, I've been on a semi-vacay so I'm only now commenting on this HYSTERICAL, HILARIOUS, and FABULOUS post! I actually read it on the plane flying back from Arizona, which is where I was. It was a partial business related trip, partial R&R. Had a great time, but I've the flight (there and back) were a nightmare.

    I did NOT go to Catholic school but I know a few people who have and they all say the same thing, "Hated it!" What most of them said that it was almost like being in the military because it was so strict and (like you said) fear-inducing. And I agree with you, I don't care what your faith or religious beliefs are, they should not be one with education. They are two separate things.

    LOVED your idea about the ash tray. LOL! And that photo of you as a priest is stellar!

    I bet you were so happy when your parents agreed to transfer you to public school and relieved to finally be in a new environment. Being a kid can be rough, particularly the school years.

    Thanks for the laughs, Father Ronaldo! xo

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  28. Hola Denise!

    No worries, girl! Hope you had a great time on your trip! I bet it felt great to just have a change of scenery. I've never been to Arizona, but heard that it's awesome! Some one I follow on Instagram who used to live on the East Coast moved there a little over year ago and he and his wife really like it.

    "What most of them said that it was almost like being in the military because it was so strict and (like you said) fear-inducing."

    Yes, that's the perfect word....MILITRARY....because that's what it feels like. You are made to CONSTANTLY toe the line and follow the rules. And if you don't, you're punished.

    And YUP...I am BEYOND happy that my parents transferred me. They whole "vibe" was different and I liked it. It felt more REAL. And I liked that public school offered a variety of classes that you could choose from. That's when I got very involved in theater because they had a great drama department that put on shows throughout the year.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, Denise. Have a terrific rest of your week!

    X

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