Friday, March 04, 2022

An Ash Wednesday Confession From A Catholic School Boy

My Catholic School History-

If you've been reading my blog for sometime now, I'm pretty sure you know that I went to Catholic school. But what you may not know is that during my eighth year, my parents transferred me (thank GOD) to a public junior high school because it was clear that I was not cut out for Catholic school. In fact, the Catholic school nuns actually told my parents to transfer me because they thought that I would fail the eighth grade and not move forward to the ninth. I had horrible grades. And it's not that I was dumb, but rather I could not learn under the fear-based, guilt-ridden tutelage of Catholic school. It is my personal belief that religion and education should not be taught as one, particularly when a school uses religion as a "persuasive tool" to educate its students.

It amazed my parents how much better I did in public school. I went from being a D and F student, to a B and A student. And that was due to being in a completely different environment. I felt freer in public school.

Throughout my life I've met some people who enjoyed going to Catholic school, which is awesome. However, it was not for me because I am not one who can learn when I disagree with how I'm being taught.  

But I have to say that I did encounter a few nuns, lay teachers, and priests who I really liked and connected with.

And I also have to say that going to Catholic school gave me a lot of blog fodder. Such as this post about a memory I have of Ash Wednesday when I was a kid.  

If you're not familiar with Ash Wednesday, you can read about it here. The article explains how the Catholic church specifically honors Ash Wednesday; what it means; and what the ashes symbolize.

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I completely forgot about Ash Wednesday being this week because, well, no longer being a Catholic, I don't keep up with those things.

While I was running errands early Wednesday morning, I saw a few people on the streets with ash on their foreheads. It started out subtly, but then I began to witness more and more people walking towards me with ashes. And then it dawned on me, "Oh my God, I know what today is!!" For a minute there I was beginning to feel like I was trapped in some kind of Stephen King movie entitled, The Ash Wednesday Haunting, in which I was the only one without ashes. 

I swear, this is exactly what the sidewalk resembled last Wednesday.

It looked like a sea of crosses that were saying to me, "Get your ash in church!"

My Ash Wednesday Confession -

For as long as I can remember, the only thing I liked about going to church on Ash Wednesday were the ashes that the priest would place on your forehead in the sign of the cross, like this...

And being that I was a very dramatic child, I always hoped and prayed that when the priest placed the ashes on my forehead that he would be generous. I wanted my cross to be really black. And I mean REALLY black. And I also wanted the priest to give me a strongly defined cross, like this one...

Oh, but noooooooooooo! What I always got from every priest looked more like someone had thrown a charcoal briquette at my forehead that barely grazed me.

How lame is this?... 

I felt like saying, "Come on, Father Jacob...is this your idea of a CROSS?!?!? I think you need to go back to the seminary and retake your Ash Wednesday cross-making class!"

So, do you know what I used to do before I walked into the house on Ash Wednesday after school? 

I did something so completely sacrilegious, but oh-so creative and fun.

As soon as I got off the school bus, I would walk up the driveway where my mother kept her car and slide into the drivers seat. You see, my mother was a smoker. And a heavy smoker. Therefore, her car ash tray was always filled with cigarette ashes. I would dip my thumb into the tray and then add ashes to whatever ashes the priest had placed on my forehead, while using the rear view mirror. And not only that, but I would accentuate the cross by making it HUGE.

The best part of the day was sitting at the dinner table, while everyone in my family compared their Ash Wednesday crosses. 

Of course, mine being the BIGGEST...

Peace Be With You .......🞧