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Today's post is very personal and bittersweet. But that's real life, isn't it?

Life is a combination of those oh-so-sweet, wonderful moments that we long to hold on to. But also moments when life challenges us to experience loss and grief; while moving through them with grace. 

Such as it is with my dear friend, Diana, who lost her husband, Buddy, of 42-years on December 23rd, 2022. 

Diana and I-

Diana and I met in 1995 while working at the Chanel counter at Saks. We instantly hit it off and became close friends. We have a friendship that, no matter where we move, always stay close in our hearts. Diana currently resides in Texas. When we both lived in Orlando, Florida, my apartment and her home were just a short drive from each other. Diana loved to have parties in her cottage-style home because she had the most magical backyard that was perfect for intimate gatherings. A very special highlight about those gatherings was that she (and Buddy) would make the most delicious Spanish cuisine for all of us to feast on. Diana grew her own herb garden, which she used in all her food preps.  

Here is a photo that was taken in May 2001, when Diana hosted a going away party for me in her backyard, a week before I moved back to Philadelphia. I remember that night like it was yesterday.

*Me and five beautiful ladies - (top row, left to right): Theresa, Marta, Yuki (bottom row, left to right) Diana, Evelyse, and me. 

 

Diana and Buddy-

Diana and Buddy met January 21, 1979 (Super Bowl weekend) in San Antonio, Texas. They dated for a year and a half before getting married on August 29, 1980.

Nico-

Precious little Nicolas (Nico) was born eight years later, on August 22,1988. At almost 3-years old, Nico was diagnosed with severe autism. As challenging as that was, it brought Diana, Buddy, and Nico closer together. And their love grew. 


Last summer, Diana contacted me to let me know that Buddy had been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. But his doctor was very confident he would pull through it using certain medical interventions. And Buddy did improve. 

However, in late autumn, the cancer returned and spread to other areas of his body.

In December, Buddy came home, supported with hospice care, and passed away two days before Christmas with Diana by his side, peacefully; surrounded by the love they shared for 42 years. 

Since then, it's been very hard for Diana because she is not only processing her own loss and grief, but trying to acclimate to this major change in her life as well. She is also concerned about how Nico is processing the loss of his father. 

One bright spot is that she and Nico have grown even closer; spending lots of time together, hiking through nature as they heal their loss. Diana told me she has moments of being okay, then moments of intense grief. Which is only natural. Another bright spot is that Diana has a very strong spiritual foundation; which has helped her tremendously to feel supported and guided through this challenging time.

Here is what she shared on her Instagram page in a touching pictorial and musical tribute to Buddy

To the love of my life…my husband, my soulmate, my best friend.♥️
As time goes by I miss you more and more, and not a single day passes by without thinking of you. You were the light that made us feel loved and protected. You were a special gift to us and the greatest blessing from God. Your love for our family was endless and you lived in loving and caring for Nicolas. You were such an amazing dad.
My heart is full of gratitude for knowing you, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the great adventure that was our life together.

Rest in peace my sweet angel, and don’t worry
about us. I got this!!! 🙏🏼

I will love you always and forever in my heart♥️ 

----------------------------------------------------------

I would like to conclude this post by sharing the beautiful eulogy that was read at Buddy's memorial service by his brother-in-law, Frank. His words perfectly summed up Buddy's 67 years on this earth, and how he touched the lives of everyone who knew him. 



Thank you, Buddy, for inspiring me how to dance in the rain!


And to Diana and Nico....
I love you lots! 💗💗💗💗

Have a great rest of your week, everyone! 

26 comments:

  1. You're right Ron, life is a combination of wonderful moments that we long to hold on to. But also moments that challenge us, such as loss and grief.

    This post is so touching. Even without knowing them, I feel as if I knew Diana, Buddy, and Nico. What a beautiful family. You can see the love they share just from the photographs. The eulogy brought tears to my eyes. What a sweet and special man Buddy was.

    I can't even imagine what your dear friend Diana is going through. Does she have family close by to lean on for support?

    Thank you for sharing this personal story, Ron. I admire the way you don't shy away from the uncomfortable parts of life by sharing it all; not only the humorous parts. That's real life.

    Love to Diana and her son Nico. XXXXX

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  2. Ron, I’m so sorry to read this. I remember you talking about Nico when I do my Autism post every April for the awareness month. How incredibly difficult it must be for both Nico and Diana right now. One thing I’ve learned in this walk with autism is that it can either break a marriage or bring you closer together. It sounds like the marriage between Diana and Buddy was a very strong one.

    I’m also glad her faith is helping her manage. So many people have left the church at large over the last few decades and now mental health is only getting worse. While I completely understand why people become unbelievers, I think not having a higher power to believe in causes despair. But that’s a different topic.

    Thanks for sharing this post and the friendship you have with this family. I bet you are a wonderful support to Diana and I hope you are able to meet up in person again. I will say a prayer for her family right now. XO

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  3. Good morning, Denise!

    Yes, he was. Buddy was a very special man - kind and sensitive. And he LOVED Nico with all his heart.

    Yes, Diana does have family close by who are helping her as she moves through this. Both Buddy's family and Diana's family continue to give her support.

    I asked Diana first, if it was okay to share this on my blog and she was like, "Yes!". I think it's important to share these moments in life because it's part of life.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, and for your love to Diana and Nico!

    X

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  4. Yes, I was so thinking of you because of our connection to autism. And I remembered years ago, the post I published on my blog where I interviewed you. Again, thank you for that because I think the more we talk opening about autism, the more other's understand autism.

    "One thing I’ve learned in this walk with autism is that it can either break a marriage or bring you closer together. It sounds like the marriage between Diana and Buddy was a very strong one."


    You are soooooooooo right about that! And yes, it was a strong marriage. As Diana said in her Instagram tribute to Buddy...they were soulmates.

    "I’m also glad her faith is helping her manage. So many people have left the church at large over the last few decades and now mental health is only getting worse. While I completely understand why people become unbelievers, I think not having a higher power to believe in causes despair."

    Couldn't agree with you MORE! As you know, I'm not a "religious" person. However, I do believe in a higher power. And very much so.

    Thanks so very much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, feelings, and prayers. I really appreciate that!

    X

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  5. Ron, thank you for sharing this slice of life because there is great value in talking opening about loss and grief. At one time or another we will experience those things. So, it's comforting (to me anyway) to know how other's experience it. The one thing covid taught me is that we are not alone in our "life experiences."

    It sounds like Diana and Buddy had such a strong foundation in their marriage. And that Nico made it even stronger. How old is Nico now? I love that photo of Buddy kissing him on the head. And the one of Diana and Buddy, and Nico being bottle fed.

    Thank you for sharing, Ron. And thank you Buddy, for being a beautiful example of how to dance in the rain!

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  6. Morning, Daniel!

    I feel very much like you. I think think there is TREMENDOUS value in talking openly about loss and grief because we will ALL experience it. Or have already experience it. And I think talking about it, makes others not feel so alone.

    True! COVID taught me the same thing ---- we are all in this together.

    Nico is in his 30's. And he LOVES to go hiking! Diana will sometimes share photos on her Instagram of Nico on hiking trails not far from where they live.

    Thanks so much for stopping by today, and for your supportive words.

    Have a great rest of your week!

    X

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  7. Ron, I will be sharing this post with a close friend of mine who lost her partner back in October after being together for over 30 years. Like your friend Diana, she has moments of being okay, but then moments of grief. She knows that grief is a process, therefore, she allows herself to feel whatever she feels at whatever time. She's a very strong person who also has a strong spiritual foundation, so I've no doubt she'll get through this.

    I really love the photos you shared of Diana and her family, as well as the eulogy. I've never heard that quote before, but will be printing it out and placing it close by so that I can be reminded daily.

    Your friendship with Diana seems to be much like mine with my dear friend. We don't live in the same state any longer, but are deep connection is stronger than ever. I'm grateful for our friendship.

    Thank you for sharing, Ron!

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  8. Ron, I will be sharing this post with a close friend of mine who lost her partner back in October after being together for over 30 years. Like your friend Diana, she has moments of being okay, but then moments of grief. She knows that grief is a process, therefore, she allows herself to feel whatever she feels at whatever time. She's a very strong person who also has a strong spiritual foundation, so I've no doubt she'll get through this.

    I really love the photos you shared of Diana and her family, as well as the eulogy. I've never heard that quote before, but will be printing it out and placing it close by so that I can be reminded daily.

    Your friendship with Diana seems to be much like mine with my dear friend. We don't live in the same state any longer, but are deep connection is stronger than ever. I'm grateful for our friendship.

    Thank you so much for sharing, Ron! xo

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  9. Great to hear that, Ron! I think it helps to have support when we go through grief and life's challenging moments. Just to know we are not alone, you know?

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  10. Yes, it sure does. And in so many ways!

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  11. Hey there, Candice!

    So glad to hear that this post may help and support your friend. And I think it's awesome that she allows herself to feel whatever she's feeling because that's all part of the grief process - allowing.

    Isn't that quote wonderful? There is so much truth to it too. Tough times are tough, yes, but if we can look for the good stuff that surrounds those tough times, we can dance in it. And I truly believe that because I've done it myself during many tough times in my life.

    I'm grateful for my friendship with Diana too. So grateful! I don't believe you have to be physically close to someone to have a connection. We have always been there for each other, regardless of where we've lived. And that's the most important. Being present for each other.

    Thanks a lot for stopping by, Candice. Have a great rest of your week!

    X

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  12. Oh, I'm moved by this post and the photographs of your friends. Buddy kissing his son Nico on the top of his head made me emotional because I can see his pain in his eyes. I am truly sorry for your loss.

    Thank you for sharing their stories with us, and please let us know how we can help support you and your friends during this difficult time. I'm sending you all so much love.

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  13. Hey there, Kari!

    "Buddy kissing his son Nico on the top of his head made me emotional because I can see his pain in his eyes."

    Yes, Buddy and Nico had a very special father/son relationship. It was as if they were one.

    Thank you so very much for you kind, supportive, and compassionate words, my friend! Diana is taking it one day at a time and doing well. She just recently went back to work, which has helped a lot because it gives her something else to focus on. Sometimes work can be a positive thing because it gives you something where you can channel your energy.

    Have a great rest of your week, Kari!

    X

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  14. Bittersweet indeed, Ron! My heart aches for Diana and Nico. But as you shared, loss and grief are things we all must walk through because that's a part of life. I am so happy to know that Diana has family around her that she can depend on for support. I read in your comment that she went back to work recently and that's great. I remember after my mother died, going back to work was almost a relief because I could concentrate on something other than my emotions.

    You can tell from the way you described your friendship that you are there for each other in time of need. It's wonderful to have a friendship like that. And you also tell from the photographs that Diana and Buddy had a close and loving bond. What a blessing.

    I love what Diana said in her tribute to Buddy --- " You were the light that made us feel loved and protected. You were a special gift to us and the greatest blessing from God. Your love for our family was endless and you lived in loving and caring for Nicolas. You were such an amazing dad." --- That's says it all, doesn't it?

    That eulogy was so heartfelt, you could FEEL it!

    Sending love and prayers to Diana and Nico. And I'm sure Diana cherishes having you as her close and loyal friend. xoxo

    Nico is adorable!

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  15. Hello there, Elaine!

    Yes, and that's why I shared this post. It's a part of life. But as Frank shared in his eulogy to Buddy, it's not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about dancing in the rain. And Buddy was such an inspiring example of that.

    I too am glad Diana went back to work. As strange as this might sound, going back to work after something like this brings back a sense of normalcy to your life and acts as a stabilizer as you move through the grief.

    The other night when Diana and I were talking on the phone, we told each other just how much we valued our long and lasting friendship. Even though we don't live close to each other, we still feel close in our hearts.

    I cried when I read Diana's tribute to Buddy. As well as the eulogy that Frank spoke at the memorial. The love just flew off the words and hit my heart.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. And thanks for your love and prayers. I know Diana will feel them!

    X

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  16. Ron, that quote by Vivian Greene is one of my favorites. I discovered it back when I was in college. And Buddy most certainly did epitomize its meaning. We don't always have control as to what happens to us. But I do believe we have control of how we deal with them. Buddy took the rain and dance in it by taking the challenges head on and kept a positive attitude.

    I can tell from Diana's words in her tribute that she, Buddy, and Nico had such a special love. And I believe that love with support her through this.

    Thank you for sharing this slice of real life, Ron. This is part of life.

    Love to Diana and precious Nico!

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  17. Good morning, Clair!

    "We don't always have control as to what happens to us. But I do believe we have control of how we deal with them. Buddy took the rain and dance in it by taking the challenges head on and kept a positive attitude."

    LOVED that! And I couldn't agree with you more. Yes, he did. I most admire the people who take whatever challenges come there way and keep walking forward. It's not an easy thing to do, for sure. Buddy did it anyway.

    "I can tell from Diana's words in her tribute that she, Buddy, and Nico had such a special love. And I believe that love with support her through this."

    I believe that too! 100%!

    Thank you so much for sharing your positive thoughts, and for your kind and supportive words for Diana and Nico!

    X

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  18. What a beautiful, endearing, post and tribute to the loving family and the close-knit friendship you had.

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  19. Thank you, Anni! I cherish our friendship. Meeting Diana, Buddy and Nico was truly a blessing. And still is!

    Much thanks for stopping by, my friend. Have a great rest of your week!

    X

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  20. Ron, your reader Anni took the words right out of my mouth! This post and tribute to the loving family and the close friendship you have with Diana is so beautiful. And it's evident just looking at the photographs. The one of Buddy bottle feeding Nico with Diana looking on is so filled with love. And I smiled at your mention of Spanish cuisine because that's on my top three list of favorite foods. It's delicious!

    Thank you for sharing, Ron. As I've said many times before in my comments, your openness to sharing all about life is an inspiration for me.

    Sending love and healing to Diana and Nico!

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  21. Hiya, Matt!

    I too love that photo! It's precious, isn't it? I also love the one in the collage (bottom row, left) of the three of them together.

    I'm with you, Matt! Spanish food is one of my faves. When I lived in Florida, so many of my friends were Latino, so that's when I discovered my love of Spanish cuisine. Even a simple bowl of black beans and rice is delicious! Buddy used to make his own tortillas from scratch. YUM-MY!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. And thank you for the love and healing to Diana and Nico!

    X

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  22. I'm so sorry for your friend's death, Ron. Cancer has certainly robbed humanity of many wonderful people (my dad included). I hope Buddy didn't have to suffer from it.


    My condolences to his family and friends. I do hope they bond together during this time of grief and find consolation for their loss ... as well as happy memories of Buddy's life. What a wonderful attitude!


    Thank you for sharing this story. Hugs to you (did you get the snow you were hoping for??) xx

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  23. Thank you, Debbie! And yes, cancer has certainly robbed humanity of many wonderful people. Both my father and biological mother died of cancer, as well as my stepmother.

    No, what I understand from Diana, Buddy didn't have long suffering or a lot of pain. Thank, God. It wasn't long after they transferred him from the hospital to his home (with hospice), did he pass.

    "I do hope they bond together during this time of grief and find consolation for their loss ... as well as happy memories of Buddy's life. What a wonderful attitude!"

    Yes, both Buddy's family (who lives in Texas) and Diana's brother, sister and brother-in-law have given much support during this time. Diana also just recently went back to word a few days a week, which has helped too. I know, didn't Buddy have such a wonderful attitude? He was such a sweet and sensitive man.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your support, my friend. Muchly appreciated.

    X

    P.S. No, can you believe it, we didn't get ANY snow so far. Oh wait, I lied. Three weeks ago while walking to the grocery store it snow ---- exactly FIVE snowflakes and then it was over. LOL! We've had the wimpiest winter ever. Most people hear are happy about that. However being a winter/snow lover, I am bummed. My only hope is that March brings us some snow. You never know, I've even seen it snow here in mid-April.

    *fingers crossed*

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  24. What a lovely, heartwarming post this is, and what a wonderful homage it is to the kind family and the strong friendship you shared.

    New post : https://www.melodyjacob.com/2023/02/best-shampoo-for-dandruff.html

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  25. Hi, Ron. I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's deep loss. It sounds like they were a wonderful family. I'm sure Diana and Nico are missing Buddy terribly, but for her to say in tribute to him to rest and not worry, and "I got this!!!" comes from a place of strength and faith and I believe that will get her through the really hard days. Sure hope Nico will be alright, and continue to hike and bond even more with his mom, and heal. Sending out loving thoughts!! xo
    I'm glad you have nice memories of better times with them. That's a great picture of you, Diana, and the other ladies. Of course, the ones with Buddy are all so sweet, but a little heartbreaking, too.
    What a kind post, my friend! xo

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  26. Goooood morning, Mary!

    Thank you so much for your condolences. X

    " I'm sure Diana and Nico are missing Buddy terribly, but for her to say in tribute to him to rest and not worry, and "I got this!!!" comes from a place of strength and faith and I believe that will get her through the really hard days."

    Yes, you are so right about that, and I feel the same. Diana and Nico are doing a lot of hiking on the trails where Buddy used to hike, which has been very healing. And what is so beautiful about this whole bittersweet experience is that has brought D & N even closure together.

    I found that photo in a box I have of photographs I've kept over the years. And I am so glad I kept that one of the going away party Diana hosted because it made me smile with wonderful memories. All of us worked together at the same store for years in Orlando, Florida.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and for you loving thoughts, my friend. Muchly appreciated.

    Have a great weekend! And I'm so happy that we got back some nice cold. winter weather. Two days ago, it was over 70 degrees here in Philly. UGH!

    X

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