Once a year, I feel the need to share my very opinionated opinion about how women are harshly judged when it comes to aging.
Men can age and get grey hair, and form lines and wrinkles yet, they're praised. The world says, "Oh, doesn't he look sexy? I think he's gotten better-looking with age!"
And I ask myself, "Why does that only pertain to men? Why don't we see women as getting better-looking with age? And sexy?"
Personally, even when I was young, I preferred the look of maturity. I couldn't wait to have grey hair and lines on my face. A smooth, young face always looked boring to me because it hadn't yet developed a history. I love a face that looks as though it's been lived in. My perception is that both men and women get better-looking with age.
Being in the beauty industry -
Even though I've been in an industry that projects a message to the world that aging is something you desperately need to avoid and must do everything in your power to stop it, I disagree. It's a way for the industry to make a tremendous amount of money selling hope in a jar.
I know that my whole purpose of being in this industry for over 35 years, has always been to be a strong advocate of embracing the process of aging, while at the same time taking care of your skin by keeping it clean, exfoliated, moisturized, and protected from the sun. And I openly share that with the clients I assist. I don't give anyone falsities about how a certain product will make them look 20 years old. I'm very honest about what products will and will not do. That's why I have a longstanding loyal clientele.
There is nothing unhealthy about using skincare and makeup to look your best. However, what is unhealthy is using these things as a means to live up to a "youthful standard" by desperately trying to recapture what was.
Anti-Aging -
This brings me to the point of this post and how I believe the word "anti-aging" needs to be eradicated (and removed) from advertising as if aging is something we must push against. Because everything you see on the market sends out that message - "We must fight and reverse aging!"
Even though I support women, I have encountered many women who disagree with me and say that they will do everything and anything to reverse the signs of aging, no matter what it takes and how much it costs.
And I've come to a place where I say, "Oh well, so be it. If that's how some women feel, then that's how they feel."
However, it's not going to stop me from supporting the women who desire a realistic approach by taking care of themselves but also embracing the natural flow of aging.
I guess you could call me an advocate of PRO-aging.
Andie MacDowell -
Sometime last week, I came across a video clip of Andie MacDowell expressing her thoughts and feelings on aging.
If you're not familiar with Andie MacDowell, here are some photographs from the 80s when she was a model for L'Oréal Paris. From modeling, she went on to become a great film actress.
There is something about her that I have always liked. She's down-to-earth and real. She looks gorgeous with or without makeup. She is also not afraid to speak her truth, which I greatly admire.
In her 40s, Andie was asked by a female journalist in Italy, “How does it feel to get older and lose your beauty?”
Andie’s response was, “I don’t feel like I’m losing my beauty. I just feel like my beauty changes. It’s a different kind of beauty. We evolve and we age, and this is part of the process."
And 20 years later, MacDowell is even more sure of the fact. “I think I’m a beautiful older woman,” she said. “There’s something in your eyes when you get older … it’s a soul.”
She also shared her insightful thoughts on aging in Hollywood. As she began to embrace becoming an "older woman," she noticed how her career shifted and she is now playing more interesting characters.
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These days, Andie is all greys, She stopped coloring her hair during the pandemic and never looked back, taking inspiration from George Clooney and other “gorgeous men” along the way. She explained, “I am 65 and I was ready at 60 to be an older woman. I just didn’t want to have to pretend to be something that I wasn’t.”
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Have a beautiful week everyone!💗
* In case you're interested, you will find the Andie MacDowell (a little over five minutes) interview I watched here.
*Andie MacDowell film and television credits.
Oh Ron, Ron, Ron, there is so much I love about this post, I don't know where to start. First, thank you for supporting women. And I can feel just how passionate you are about it. X
ReplyDeleteAs you know, I'm a bigtime beauty product junkie (skincare and makeup), but over the years I've gotten much more simple in my routine. When I was younger it was all about staying young. But I'm slowly learning to embrace the process because let's face, there is not a damn thing we can do about it. And even things like injectables have to been done continuously, they're not permanent.
I love your approach. It's so healthy. And I bet your clients love you for your honesty. Tell me, do you have many male clients? I'm curious.
LOVE Andie MacDowell! I didn't realize she had worked for L'Oreal Paris. I know here mainly from her films. You're right, she is so talented. And I really admire her outlook on aging because having been a model, I'm sure she got pressure from the industry as she got older.
" It's a way for the industry to make a tremendous amount of money selling hope in a jar." -- That is so true! And I agree, they need to stop using the word anti-aging because it sounds so negative.
Thank you, dear man! The industry needs more people like you - honest and realistic about what things can and cannot do. xoxo
Inspring post, Ron! And you're so right about the industry trying to sell you hope in jar. I use some products from Clinque and anytime I go to the counter to replenish, the person behind the counter is ALWAYS trying to upsell me something else. I am very simple with my skincare (and makeup), I change things up every so often, but my skin is sensitve, so I have to be careful what I use.
ReplyDeleteI've met a few of those women who will do anything in their power to stay young. Which I think is hopeless because you can only so so much before it starts looking freakish. Look at what Madonna has done to her face over the years. I don't even recongize her. Sad.
I believe in taking care of my skin and wearing a little makeup to enhance my features. But nothing overpowering. Simple and basic is my game!
Great post!
Greetings, Abby!
ReplyDelete"...anytime I go to the counter to replenish, the person behind the counter is ALWAYS trying to upsell me something else."
Yup, and that is so typical in this industry. I work with some sales people who would sell anything to anyone, even if they didn't need it. Just to make a sale!
" Look at what Madonna has done to her face over the years. I don't even recognize her. Sad."
You know, I can't even look at her anymore. Every once in awhile a post about her will come up on Instagram and I have to do a double-take because the photograph doesn't even look like her. And that's what I mean about fighting the aging process.
Good for you! I love your outlook on makeup and using it to enhance because that's what it's supposed to do. Makeup, if done correctly, should be subliminal. It shouldn't JUMP off your face. Unless you're wearing it for photographs, stage, or movies.
Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend! Have a great evening and rest of your week!
X
Ron, I really admire your honesty when assisting a client. I've no doubt you have a longstanding and loyal clientele! It's hard (particularly now with everyone increasing prices and pushing there goods), to find someone like you who is not pushing products to increase sales.
ReplyDeleteI like the look of a mature face too. And also like you, whether it be a man or a woman, I think maturity looks attractive on BOTH. I'm starting to get some grey hairs (around my temples) and I'm actually excited about it. My father is salt and pepper and my mother is too. Like Andie, she stopped coloring her hair during the lockdown. She couldn't get to her stylist so she started doing it herself. But then she decided, "To hell with it, I'm going to let it all go grey and see what it looks like." She loves it! And I think it looks gorgeous on her. My dad too.
I do think women are more harshly judged when it comes to age. And it not fair. Kudos to you for speaking out.
Did you ever see the series "Maid" with Andie MacDowell? It was such a great series and she was awesome in it.
Throughout your career in the beauty industry, have you notice an increase in men resisting aging? I work with a guy who gets Botox every few months.
Hey there, Daniel!
ReplyDeleteThanks! In all the years I've been in this industry, I can honestly say that I have never sold a product just to make a sales goal. I'm very honest with people because that's how I would want someone to be with me.
"I think maturity looks attractive on BOTH. I'm starting to get some grey hairs (around my temples) and I'm actually excited about it."
Oh, how exciting! I was around 25-27 when I started to go grey. And it wasn't my temples, it was a small patch of hair on the back of my head. I couldn't wait to go grey!
"...my mother is too. Like Andie, she stopped coloring her hair during the lockdown."
Yes, yes, yes! That's what so many women said. It was during the pandemic when they just allow their hair to go au naturel! I think grey hair is sexy! And I'm so happy that more and more women are simply embracing it. However, to each his own. Some women enjoy coloring their greys and that's okay too!
Yes, I most certainly did see the series, "Maid" and thought it was fabulous! Andie is sooooooo good in it!
"Throughout your career in the beauty industry, have you notice an increase in men resisting aging? I work with a guy who gets Botox every few months."
Yup! Guys are fighting the aging process too! And I see it more and more. Many years ago I worked at a Medi-spa for a few months and saw a lot of men coming in for injectables. Personally, I have no interest in it. I take care of my skin, but I like my lines!
Thanks so much for stopping by, Daniel! Hope you're having an excellent week so far!
X
Me neither Ron, I have no interest in that. I LOVE my lines, I look distinguished. LOL!
ReplyDeleteDo you use a specific skincare brand or do you have different ones?
No, I don't use ALL of one brand. I use bits and pieces from different brands. I also change my products seasonally. Winter I'm drier, so I need more moisture. Summer, I go lighter because I more oily.
ReplyDeleteRon, I cannot believe the question she was asked my the journalist in Italy?!? How freaking RUDE!
ReplyDeleteOf course I'm familiar with Andie MacDowell! God, I idolized her in all those L'Oreal ads and commercials. She's gorgeous! And still is! I love that she let her hair go grey. And I love even more that it didn't hinder her career as an actress, it INHANCED it!
I'm with you Ron, age has never been something I've fought. YEARS ago, I colored my hair when I started getting a little grey. But it didn't last long because I just got sick and tired of keeping up with it. I like my grey hair and so does my hubby. He think it looks sexy on me. Lol! And I certain think it's looks sexy on him too!
I do enjoy taking care of my skin, but not excessively. I do it because it makes me feel relaxed. like I'm having in spa treatment. But I'm realistic about what products can (and cannot do). They are not a miracle cure. They simply allow me to look the best I can at any age!
"I love a face that looks as though it's been lived in" --- Me too!
You have such a GREAT outlook and attitude, Ron! I bet those women adore you! And the men too!
Ron, before I left my comment, I watched the video clip you shared. I loved her responses to the questions she was asked. I loved her whole being. What an inspiration she is! I remembered first seeing Andie MacDowell in the movie, "Four Funerals and a Wedding."
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe she is 65!? She looks amazing! Those last three photographs of her are so beautiful. She looks so comfortable in her skin.
" It’s a different kind of beauty. We evolve and we age, and this is part of the process." --- Amen, Andie!
Thankfully, I've never been sucked into the whole beauty industry and it's obsession with staying young. You're right, why is it okay for men to age, but women are placed under a microscope.
Wonderful post! I'm going to forward it to a few of my friends (and family members).
Thanks, Ron!
Good morning, Elaine!
ReplyDeleteI know, can you freaking believe that?!? But Andie responded with such grace. At first, she thought it might be because of the language barrier and that the journalist intended to say something else. But no, that's the question she asked her.
"And I love even more that it didn't hinder her career as an actress, it ENHANCED it!"
Isn't that fantastic? I applaud women who refuse to reform to what society (and the film industry) project on them and stick to what they believe in. THAT'S how the world changes.
" I like my grey hair and so does my hubby. He think it looks sexy on me. Lol! And I certain think it's looks sexy on him too!"
LOVE that!!! And what I love even more is that I'm seeing more and more women allowing themselves to go grey. And I make a point of walking up to them and telling them just how beautiful they look!
" They are not a miracle cure. They simply allow me to look the best I can at any age!"
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!! What a great attitude! I don't think people realize that our looks are suppose to change as we age, and that we look beautiful at any age!
Thanks so, so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts on this topic, my friend. Muchly appreciated!
And ROCK on!
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Ron, what you said about men is so true because I dated a guy who was genuinely curious about taking care of his skin but was apprehensive because he didn't know what products to use. I enjoyed taking him shopping to pick stuff up. And once he got started, he ended up finding a skincare routine that worked for him and loved it! I like a man who is well-groomed.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, my favorite mascara is from L'Oreal. It's good and inexpensive!
That's awesome! There is so much "product overload" on social media that it gets overwhelming for most people. I can't tell you how many people (women and men) who come in to my stores and have a panicked look on their faces because they don't know where to start looking.
ReplyDelete"By the way, my favorite mascara is from L'Oreal. It's good and inexpensive!"
Funny you mentioned that particular mascara because that's the one I ALWAYS recommend to clients. EXCELLENT choice!
Hey Ron, as one of your other commenters said, I'm going to forward this post to several of my friends who I know will enjoy reading your thoughts on this topic. And being that you've been in the industry for a long time, your opinion is greatly appreciated. Just like in The Wizard of Oz, you have "pulled back the curtain" on a topic that needs addressing.
ReplyDeleteI'm currently at work, so when I get home tonight I will watch the video clip and stop back to comment again.
Thank you for your support of women! x
Morning, Clair!
ReplyDeleteThank you! This is a topic I feel quite passionate about. I usually post 1-2 a year, and add something else to the topic. Today it's about the word...anti-aging.
"Just like in The Wizard of Oz, you have "pulled back the curtain" on a topic that needs addressing."
Ha! Loved that!
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing. Appreciate that! Hope you enjoy the clip. It's short and sweet.
Have a faaaaaaabulous rest of your day!
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Oh, my friend, I love everything about this. Why is there such a focus on physical appearance in society and the media? Rebecca, my best friend, let her black hair go gray in 2020. She was hurt when she heard someone she loves refer to her as "grandma"
ReplyDeleteI love Andie MacDowell and her messages. She is stunning, both inside and out. I also like Justine Bateman's messages about aging, not sure if you know about it.
I'm an advocate of pro-aging too. I love this post, and you too. 😘❤️
Thank you, Ron, for your stance on beauty products and aging! I've long been a proponent of taking care of my skin and trying to apply makeup that looks natural while enhancing what I can. Sure, I've bought "anti-aging" products, but you're so right: they're mostly "hope in a bottle." Perhaps the only way to truly turn back the clock is through plastic surgery, but who wants somebody putting a knife on their face???
ReplyDeleteAndie looks gorgeous. I think dark hair grays so much better than blonde. It turns sort of salt and pepper, rather than just lighter. And I love how she said you can see the soul in the eyes of a mature person.
Aging graciously seems to be the key. A young, bitter person never, in my opinion, looks anywhere near as lovely as an older, wiser person wearing a genuine smile!
Happy rest-of-your-week, my friend!!
This was a great topic, Ron, as I do not understand all the need for the variety of anti aging products. Thankfully, I do not know anyone my age, even younger or older who has used any of these. I know that the years are going by as my recent birthday was evidence enough. While I can’t always comprehend being my current age, I am thankful to not try to hide it by the use of costly cosmetic products.
ReplyDeleteI know that these products are ones used in your work, Ron, but you do not seem the type of person who would recommend a product simply to make a sale.
"I also like Justine Bateman's messages about aging, not sure if you know about it."
ReplyDeleteOMG, Kari, I cannot believe you mentioned Justine Bateman because (no kidding) I was actually thinking of adding her to this post as an advocate for PRO-aging because I've been following her for YEARS. I adore her! And I love her whole attitude about aging.
" Why is there such a focus on physical appearance in society and the media? Rebecca, my best friend, let her black hair go gray in 2020. She was hurt when she heard someone she loves refer to her as "grandma"
See, this is what I mean about people (both men and other women) who see grey hair as being OLD. And yet, I've seen men and women who, in their 20s, started getting grey hair and it looked STUNNING!
"I'm an advocate of pro-aging too. "
Bravo! I love hearing that! Rock on!
Thanks so much for stopping by and adding your thoughts. Very much appreciated, my friend!
X
" I've long been a proponent of taking care of my skin and trying to apply makeup that looks natural while enhancing what I can."
ReplyDeleteThat's AWESOME, Debbie!!!! You've got such a healthy attitude! And that's exactly what I share with clients. Skincare and makeup are there to be used, as you said, to enhance.
"Sure, I've bought "anti-aging" products, but you're so right: they're mostly "hope in a bottle." Perhaps the only way to truly turn back the clock is through plastic surgery, but who wants somebody putting a knife on their face???"
A-MEN! And once someone starts doing that, it becomes as endless chase because they have to KEEP doing that. And on top of that, it becomes an addiction. And trust me, I've seen that time and time again in my industry.
I do too! I prefer dark grey hair as well. I love that salt and pepper look on both men AND women.
I LOVE how you expressed this...
"Aging graciously seems to be the key. A young, bitter person never, in my opinion, looks anywhere near as lovely as an older, wiser person wearing a genuine smile!"
BRILLIANT, my friend! And soooooo true!
Thanks ever so much for stopping by and adding your wisdom to this topic. VERY much appreciated!
Have a great rest of your week!
X to you and Monkey!
Hellooooooooooo there, D!
ReplyDelete" I do not understand all the need for the variety of anti aging products."
Me as well, and I'm IN the industry. Over the past five years, the overload of products sold in stores is insane. And thanks to social media, we now have 12 year old girls wanting to purchase products that are intended for someone in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. And I refuse to sell it to them.
"While I can’t always comprehend being my current age, I am thankful to not try to hide it by the use of costly cosmetic products."
Good for you! And I admire you for that! Anyone I've encountered who works hard to hide it looks like they're trying to hide it. Lol!
My feeling is that we are ALL going to age, that's a given. And I'm not saying that using skincare and makeup is wrong. But like Debbie said in her comment, those are used to ENHANCE, not mask.
"I know that these products are ones used in your work, Ron, but you do not seem the type of person who would recommend a product simply to make a sale."
You got that right. In fact, there have been many times when I talked a customer out of purchasing a product because was either not right for their skin, or it simply didn't do what it promised to do.
I tell every client - "Don't believe everything social media tells you. And do your research."
Much thanks for stopping by and sharing on this topic, D! Muchly appreciated! Have a great rest of your week!
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As a man, I totally agree with you, Ron. Women are much more "placed under a microscope" when it comes to aging. And yet, men can get wrinkles, lose their hair, get pot-bellies, and no one even notices "aging" on them. And if they do notice, no one say's anything because they think, " Oh, it's only natural."
ReplyDeleteExcellent post! I always enjoy reading your voice.
Morning, Robert!
ReplyDelete"And yet, men can get wrinkles, lose their hair, get pot-bellies, and no one even notices "aging" on them. And if they do notice, no one say's anything because they think, " Oh, it's only natural."
Yes! Yes! Yes! ---- "Oh, it's only natural" ---- is to true!
I agree, women are MUCH more placed under a microscope when it comes to aging.
Thanks so much for stopping by and adding your insight on this topic. Well said!
Have an awesome rest of your week!
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Hi, Ron! I've always admired how supportive you are of women and ageing! In your field, you could be just be pushing all the products and some wouldn't know the difference or care. Customers come and go, just want to buy or try a thing and don't even ask. And some sales associates that make commission might be tempted to give them wrong information even if they do ask... just to make more money. That's not you though, and those you've been working with know it. You have taken the time and been caring enough to become very knowledgeable about skin care products among other things. I'm sure your long time clients truly value your opinions and suggestions.
ReplyDeleteMary, thanks so much for you encouraging and supportive comment. To be honest, sometimes I seriously contemplate leaving this industry because there are so many unhealthy (and unrealistic) messages it sends out to women that makes me not only angry, but sad. But then I think to myself, "I'm going to be the "squeaky wheel" and remain in the industry, telling women not to listen to all the sales bullshit and embrace the process, while taking care of their skin."
ReplyDeleteI've always been honest and sincere when assisting my clients and treat them the way "I" want to be treated when making a purchase.
My father taught me that. He was a real estate salesman, who was very successful because of his honesty. People always trusted him.
Thanks so much for stopping by, neighbor! Hope you're having a faaaaaaaabulous week!
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Hi Ron! Wanted to stop back to let you know that I watched the video clip and really enjoyed it. I also found several other interviews with Andie and enjoyed those as well. Again, thanks for sharing. Happy Friday! x
ReplyDeleteGood morning, Clair! Thanks so much for taking the time to stop back and let me know. I appreciate that! Like you, I started seeing other interview with Andie and watched a lot of them. I love how comfortable she is with herself being interviewed!
ReplyDeleteHave a superb weekend!
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Ron, my girlfriend wanted me to convey to you her THANKS for supporting women this way. She not only read this post, but sent it to a few of her friends.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, dude! Your passion on this topic flies through your every word. Not doubt your customers love you.
Being a man, I agree. We don't get the severe judgement that women do when it comes to aging.
Hiya Matt!
ReplyDeletePlease tell your girlfriend I said she is very welcome. As you can tell, I do feel very passionate about this topic. LOL!
But it's not fair to women that we (as men) get a pass on aging, while they are placed under a microscope.
Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend! Wishing you and your girlfriend a fabulous weekend!
X
Omg Ron, when I was going through my mom’s stuff, I found creams called ‘Hope in a Jar’!!! Can you believe that? I’m assuming it was from QVC because that was her favorite place to shop.🙄 What makes me most infuriated by the industry is how they have teens/20’s/30’s convinced they need to buy so much anti-aging crap, do Botox, or have surgery!!! It’s insanity. They all either start to look the same OR turn into cats! It’s just awful.
ReplyDeleteI saw something online about how if women just changed their hairstyle, they would look so much younger and it cracked me up because it was true! I think they used The Golden Girls as an example. Put long hair on them and they looked like they were in their 20’s! 🤣🤣🤣 Cracked me up. I’m sticking with my shoulder length hair, but I’m going to keep doing my root touch ups! I do like the way I look and how you feel about yourself is key.
Looks like I only missed one post by you while I was on my social media break. Missed you and glad to be back! XO
"I found creams called ‘Hope in a Jar’!!! Can you believe that?"
ReplyDeleteOMG I cannot believe you mentioned that product because years ago it was one of the most popular products on the market. It's from the company brand, Philosophy, called "Hope in a Jar." It's been years since I seen that product. The brand is in some department stores (like Macy's) and specialty stores like Ulta and Sephora.
"What makes me most infuriated by the industry is how they have teens/20’s/30’s convinced they need to buy so much anti-aging crap, do Botox, or have surgery!!! It’s insanity. They all either start to look the same OR turn into cats! It’s just awful."
I TOTALLY agree with you! And that infuriates me as well. I see more and more 12-15 year old girls who spend all their time on TikTok in stores buying products that are intended for women in their 40s and 50s. And speaking of Botox (and all injectables), girls are starting to use them in their early 20s!!!
" I’m sticking with my shoulder length hair, but I’m going to keep doing my root touch ups! I do like the way I look and how you feel about yourself is key."
That's awesome! And you're absolutely right, how YOU feel about yourself is the key. And if that makes you feel good, then by all means, do it!
Yes, I only posted once since you were on vacation. I will be posting again next week sometime.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO great to see you back! And I LOVED your recent post. Brought back so many great memories!
Have a fabulous weekend, my friend!
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