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Ok...correct me if I'm wrong.

But is not the ATM machine, for the purpose of making a QUICK withdraw, deposit, or maybe a transfer????

Then please tell me...why do I ALWAYS get behind the person who is trying to apply for a HOME EQUITY LOAN?????

Yesterday afternoon (which was Friday) at about 4:30 p.m., when the entire city is trying to get home for the weekend, I decided to make a simple $20.00 withdraw from an ATM by my apartment.

When I got to the machine, there was an enormous line that was looped around the entire corner. It wasn't too-too bad, because everyone seemed to be focused and was doing their "business" quickly.

Except for the "bankee" in front of me.

When she got up to the machine, I could JUST tell that God and Baby Jesus were going to have to help me with this one!

(It was a MULTI-transaction)

None of her banking slips were filled out, and she couldn't find a pen OR her ATM card.

(So I had to wait for HELL to freeze over)

After about 45 minutes, she finally had her shit together and started to make the actual deposit.


However, the speed in which she pressed the buttons, was long enough for a woman to conceive and give birth to a baby.

My legs were starting to twitch and vibrate.

After she made the deposit, she THEN had to double check that her account was credited.

(Another 45 minutes past)


I was one-half second from shoving her aside and pressing the friggin'ass keys for her.

(the thoughts I was thinking....were going to send me to hell forever)

After she double checked her account....she THEN decided to make a withdraw.

(Gandhi wouldn't of had the patience)

I was almost ready to give her the $20.00 that I was going to withdraw, just to get her the HELL out of my way.

Finally, she completed her 2-hour transaction.

She then had to button her coat, put on her hat, apply lip gloss, and then collect all of her 7 shopping bags.

I felt like screaming, "MOVE!!! WOMAN!!!! AND THEN GO BUY YOURSELF SOME SPEED!"

When I finally got to the machine, I was dripping in sweat and my hands were shaking.

I ripped the $20.00 out of the machine....and headed STRAIGHT for a glass of red wine.

Tomorrow...I must go to confession.

Photo: Fooishban


  1. I like the way you think

    ATM should be changed to ATMP

    automatically try my patience!

  2. VERY GOOD lady in red!!!!!!


    MAN...ME TOO!!!!

    They need to install an "express line" like in the grocery store, for people with 1 transaction! Oh..why bother, you'd STILL get thoughs "slow-pokes" sneaking there way into the line, with 5 transactions!!!

    Oy vey!

    Thanks for stopping by and for sharing in my total frustration!!!

    Stay cool!

  3. LMFAO!!!! How do you keep your patience??? I would have sooo lost the plot! LOL xx