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As you recall, I hate cell phones.

I find them despicable!

Anyway, I found these photos and decided to give you a little montage of what my nightmare is like...hope you enjoy!

Cell Phone Clothing
A little sweater for your "best friend" when it gets cold.
It could also double as a little futon mattress for when your "best friend" gets sleepy.
It looks like a little knitted cookie.
I HATE this crap!

Cell Phone Earrings
What's with this "charm stuff"?
They look like little decorations that would hang off body piercings!*!
What?.....does this stuff make your phone look more "charming?"
I HATE this crap too!

Cell Phones for Sex
I guess she wanted to photograph their loving-making session, so she could remember how "good" it was.
This way...she can have sex; talk to her girlfriend; and take pictures all at the same time -
and STILL have an orgasm!
1-900-cell phone-sex

My Secret Cell Phone Fantasy

I would LOVE to do the honors!


  1. You don't have a cell phone then Ron??? :)

    I love this blog!

  2. Afternoon Akelamalu~

    How did you guess????? cell phone. People think I'm like the "Fred Flintstone" of 2007!

    They're always saying, "WHAT? don't have a cell phone???

    I actually had one when I was living in Florida for a very short time.

    I don't really hate cell phones...just the way the LARGE majority of people use them. When you live in a city, you can REALLY see how people obsess over them. They literally can't live without them. I swear that I'm the only person who walks down the street here, NOT talking on one

    I honestly don't have the need for one. If someone can't get in touch with me at home...oh, well!

    Thank you SO MUCH for enjoying this blog, my friend...that makes me feel good. I enjoy it too! It's a whole other form of expression for me.

    I appreciate your visits Akelamalu...Thanks!

  3. MWM has a cell phone but he never uses it. It's a standing joke that he still has the original 2 groats credit in tact! That should tell you how long he's had it and how often he's used it!

    This blog is definitely not like your other one. It's taking me a little time to get used to you using the odd profanity - so unusual after Footnotes, but I like what you're writing. :)

  4. Oh...thats so funny!!!

    I also know a few people who have them and never use it like MWM too!

    Some individuals DO only use them for emergencies...and I can see that point.

    Tee-hee...yes....this blog is DEFINATELY different than the other one. In my everyday life I honestly do talk like this - I can be quite expressive - yet it's not appropriate for Foot Notes. You and Dave are the only ones who have come over to read this blog (so I quess the others are a little taken back too)- which I can understand.

    I had originally planned to keep this blog seperate from the readers of my other one. And then I thought, "No...this is who I am too. Those who will come, will come. And those who choose not to, they have that right."

    Quite frankly...I'm having a blast with this blog - and it will have it's own readers.

    And I thank you for being one of them!

    Stop by any time you like.

    Have a great week!

  5. Vent is on my daily visit list Ron - It's on my blogroll now so hopefully my readers will pop over to see you too! ;)

  6. Thanks Akelamalu...

    You're a doll!

  7. I despise them also, but find myself in the position were I am expected to have one. I have successfully put off getting a replacement for my cell phone for two beautiful months.

  8. I took my cell phone and took a picture of your post and my phone became surly and very angry now it only calls wrong numbers.
    They do have very odd behaviors.

    Have a great day

  9. Welcome Brian~

    So good to see ya!!!

    I know how it is...with jobs now a days...most everyone is expected to carry one at all times (just in case). My boss would LOVE for me to have one too, but she knows better than to ask me. She's just happy that last year...I finally got on-line and have an email address!

    Whooopie...I truly am behind in the times.

    Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by and say Hi Brian...I appreciate that, my friend!

  10. Oh ALWAYS make me laugh!

    How funny is that?

    An angry cell phone...woo-woo!

    New movie, "The Revenge of the Cell Phone"...."Don't answer the phone!!!"

    Tell your cell phone I said I'm sorry...and I'll buy it a sweater for Christmas!

    Thanks for sharing your wonderful "wit" Dave!!!!!

  11. Hi Giggles!

    Tee, hee!

    Glad you enjoyed!

    Can you tell how much I LOVE cell phones?