On Fear

Fear is one of those things that scares the living shit out of me, yet at the same time - makes me want to see what it is that I’m so afraid of.

I am fearful…because I feel out of control.

For me, fear represents a door that I must continually open, so that I can move through the next door…and then the next.

Quite frankly, I feel the most powerful when I’m moving through fear. And not because of my personal power, but because of my need for help.

This is one of the lessons in my life. To embrace fear…and be supported.

Looking back, I can see that situations presented themselves to me, so that I would have the opportunity to either accept or reject fear. Sometimes I would be so paralyzed, that I rejected it…and then there were other times when I was so friggin’ pissed off at fear…that I accepted it.

At first, the jubilation that I celebrated after befriending fear, was because I felt that I had done something stupendous. Then, as time moved forward, I realized that it wasn’t “me” who had done anything - other then letting go.

I remember one time when I was performing in the theater. I waited 16 years to perform this particular role - which I had wanted so desperately. On opening night, I suddenly became riveted with uncontrollable fear. I wanted to get in my car and drive away from the theater, and never step foot on a stage again.

So here it was presenting itself…do I accept this, or do I reject it.

When the stage manager, over the loud speaker, called “Places” - I felt like I was going to vomit. After wishing my fellow actors, “Break a leg” - I positioned myself back stage to make my first entrance. As the overture started, my entire body shook with nerves. I remember feeling, “Please...I need you to help me get through this.”

I suddenly began to feel myself being filled with a power that was not my own. And as I entered on stage, I could literally feel this energy lifting me up and moving me to where I needed to be.

I felt like a marionette puppet, who’s strings were being controlled by my creator.

I don’t remember anything about the performance that night, other than the fact - that it wasn’t me.

You see, each time I accept and embrace fear…it shows me what true power is.

And this power has NEVER forsaken me.

Thank you.




Photo: Kurious Eyes

13 comments

  1. The only thing to fear, is FEAR itself.

    The universe will always give you strength if you ask, and we are never asked to do or bear more than we are able. xx

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  2. Very true, Vent.
    I feel the most powerful as well whe I'm scared of soemthing abnd then go ahead and do it anyway - good post !

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  3. Evening Akelamalu~

    I remember being taught that saying when I was a kid.

    I never REALLY understood it, until I got older and was able to actually EXPERIENCE what it meant!

    And it's so true!

    Thanks for the reminder, my friend!

    And thank you for stopping by to share.

    Ron

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  4. Evening Angel Annie~

    Fear a wonderful teacher, isn't it?

    I think I've learned the most for my own life, through being fearful.

    Each time, it gets a little easier.

    And it sounds like you embrace it too...good for you, girl!

    Thanks for sharing...and thanks for taking the time to visit, Annie.

    It's always a pleasure!

    Ron

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  5. Fear does have that way of making itself into your being and taking control of your emotions. The little games fear plays with you is worth while noticing.
    Fear is the greatest teacher on how to continue our journey and gain control over the situations in our lives that need to be attended too. When I am now in a situation that brings in my old friend fear I sit back and ask, "what am I to learn from this?" When I see, hear, or feel the annswer then this little guy runs away unitl the next time. One time in my life I would have thrown in the towel and let fear have his way with me.
    A very thought provoking post and one that I will meditate on today. Thank you my friend.

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  6. I have just one huge fear: FLYING

    I wish I could say I feel powerful when I fly, but I don't. I feel sick and scared in a way that I really can't explain. It's visceral...my whole body reacts.

    I've conquered that fear, however.

    I don't fly!

    LOL :)

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  7. Afternoon Dave~

    You're SOOO right...fear has become my BESTEST friend!

    For me, it always hits on my feelings of not being able to control what it is, that is happening.

    To learn how to be graciously supported and loved. To let go!

    Your input here Dave, has given MUCH to this post...and I ALWAYS appreciate that!

    Thank you my dear Libra Buddy!

    Ron

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  8. Afternoon Grace~

    Oh boy...I always knew that you and I shared MUCH in the way that our paths move!

    Grace...flying to me is by FAR the most intense fear I possess!

    And you have explained it PERFECTLY...visceral! Every pore in my body expels perspiration at just the thought of it!

    And you know what? Like You...I have conquered it...I either drive or take the train!

    It's one of those fears...that I have no interest in over-coming.

    You have made me laughed today Grace...thank you, my friend.

    And thank you for your visit!

    Ron

    P.S. Flying is for the birds!

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  9. Wooo Whooo!!!

    OK...I LOVE this look! :) It provides a wonderful counterpoint to Solework, which has the light look! Black has so much positive symbolisms, and just asthetically, it creates a wonderful backdrop...like those curtain thingys that photographers use! :)

    Isn't it funny how we can change our minds about things? LOL :) I never say never either!!!

    ((( Ron ))) If my little nook of Blogland inspired you, that's a real joy!!!

    RIGHT ON!

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  10. Ok then...BLACK it is!

    (at least for the rest of November)

    Tee-hee

    No...only kidding...I like this too...so maybe...through Christmas??

    Thanks for checking it out, and for giving me the inspiration to begin with Grace.

    Have a great day at work!

    Ciao,
    Ron

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  11. I just found you through Akelamalu's post this morning (just found her yesterday through Mary's Writing Nook) and am feeling blessed by the syncronicity of all this :)

    Your post on Fear "resonates" with my own experience, and I'm thinking about linking to it with one of my own at Sacred Ruminations (if that's okay with you).

    I've bookmarked your page so I can return easily when time and opportunity permit.
    Hugs and blessings,

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  12. Greetings Storyteller~

    Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by for a read and a comment. It's always a pleasure to meet someone new!

    Yes please, by all means, feel free to link the post to yours.

    Syncronicity is a wonderful thing isn't it? It takes us where we all need to be...WHEN we need to be there - Destiny!

    So glad our syncronicity was in "sync."

    Later this evening, I'll stop by your place to say hi!

    Thanks again for visiting. Stop by anytime!

    Ciao,
    Ron

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  13. That is sooo awesome!!!

    False
    Evidence
    Appearing
    Real

    I'm such a chicken shit and run away from my fears! But this post really makes me want to face them! :-) xx

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