Movie Bitchin'

I honestly can’t remember the last time I bought a ticket and went to the movies.

Gone With the Wind??

And for someone who has an interest in film…that’s pretty pathetic.

You see, I really don't enjoy the experience of going to the movies any more. For me, the whole idea of leaving my home and stepping into a theater, was because I’d be viewing the film on a nice big screen, sitting in a comfortable seat that rocked, and eating twizzlers.

However, this is no longer the case…..

The movie screen has been shrunk to the size of my computer monitor; the seats have turned into a tight, hard torturous body device; and the candy price has gone up so high, that I’m forced to smuggle in store bought candy by shoving it in my underwear, because I REFUSE to pay $4.50 for something that I can get for 99 cents.

Also, I think it’s of form of communism that I'm being forced to watch 25 minutes of coming attractions, which might as well be commercials; when I can stay home and do the same damn thing by watching television (something of which I don‘t do anyway). I can understand showing one or two movie previews…but four or five????

(hell, my friggin' twizzlers are in my stomach before the movie in which I paid $10.00 for even starts!!!)

No sir…I’d much rather rent the DVD and bring it back to the comfort of my own home; sprawled out on the floor with pillows and a blanket, while eating a BIG fat bag of twizzlers.

However…have any of you noticed how the movie companies have cleverly rigged up the DVD so that you’re FORCED to sit through five movie previews as well??

Try hitting the “next button” or the “forward button” and see what happens….

A little stupid-ass icon that looks like a circle with a slash through it, suddenly appears in the top left-hand corner of the screen telling you, “NO CAN DO!

(this makes me want go completely INSANE and fling the remote at the screen!!)

At least with a VHS tape you could fast-forward though all the crap.

Still…a DVD is nice, because I LOVE all the special features which include: bloopers, documentaries on how the film was made, deleted scenes, and the actors film biographies. And for me, quite frankly, sometimes the special features are more interesting than the film!?!

So I think I’ll continue to rent.

And the best part, is that I can take as many “pee-pee breaks” as I want (pause)… and not disturb the person sitting next to me.

Twizzler anyone?




Photo: Web Weavers Free Clipart

27 comments

  1. I feel exactly the same way about everything that you said! We go to the theaters maybe once or twice a year, but usually it is a movie that the kids are begging us to see (the last one was Bee Movie).
    And let me tell you, I always stuff my purse full of contraband candy, lol! We hit a grocery store on the way.
    Now come May this year, I am going to the movies and I don't care about any of that stuff...The Sex and the City Movie....HELLO.....I loved that show! Gotta see the movie.

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  2. That's the way I do it, Ron. The "Theatre" experience isn't what it used to be. It's sad in a way because you get caught up in the crowd emotions during a great film. You're definitely right about the cost - you need to take out a loan to bring a family to the movies. It's WAY cheaper to buy the DVD.

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  3. Ron,
    There is nothing better then to go to the bank and take out a 2nd mortgage to go to the movies and buy 2 Tickets ($22.00) A large Vat of Diet Coke ($7.50) and enough popcorn to feed India ($7.00). Not to mention standing in line for the entire lenten season to give your money away. And you are so correct when you mention that you have to sit through 1/2 hour of upcoming attractions. By then the entire garbage bag of popcorn is gone and there are bits all over your shirt. The 12 gallons of Diet Coke is now working overtime on your bladder and you miss the first 20 minutes of the movie because you are standing in line waiting to pee. When you get back into the dark cavern you don't remember where you seat was and you try leer into the black hole to find something that will give you hope of being reunited with your jacket and your friends. Then you finally spot your perch and you have to walk over 1200 people to get back into the seat. All you hear is grunts and toots. You set you butt down and get comfortable and urge to pee comes again. This is the time you wished you packed a catherder. You hold it and bite your lip and the feeling fades or you just peed yourself.

    Ah the joys of the big screen. Give me my living room and big screen tv any time. Here I can sip my 10 oz soda and hit the pause button if I need to use the restroom which never happens at home.

    Thanks Ron.

    Thhaats alll folks!!

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  4. Ummmm....got popcorn? That's the sole reason I show up at theatres for movies.

    Yeah, yeah....spendy--but they do make the bestest popcorn. *sigh*

    Last movie seen in a theatre--Golden Compass.

    And I remember most--the popcorn! LOL
    Duh!

    As one who canNOT sit still for the 120 minutes of a theatre, DVD's with that pause button....perfect!

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  5. Hiya Nicole!

    Oh, my God...that's right...when you have children it's even MORE expensive!!! I don't know how a family does it anymore. Don't you LOVE the grocery store for that???When I lived in Florida...I often wondered how the hell the parents could afford to take their 2 children to Disney for a few days. I think it's up to $150.00 for a 3-day pass...Jeees!? And that doesn't include hotel and food!

    Oh my God, thanks for letting me know about the Sex and the City movie in May...cause I'M THERE!!!!

    Thanks for stopping by today, Nicole...always great hearing from you!

    Twizzler Man

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  6. Hey Nitebyrd!

    Oh God...you made me LAUGH about taking out a LOAN$$$ Cause it's true!

    I swear...what the hell happened to the "afternoon-discount" prices??? Where I live, they don't even offer that anymore. It cost $10.00 anytime you go!

    And what's funny...is that movies are no longer 2 hours in length. I think their down to like 90 minutes!?!

    (damn, Hollywood!)

    When I lived in New York City, I use to go to a BIG old movie house that showed the classics on a HUGE screen. There's nothing like a black and white Bette Davis/Joan Crawford film seen on a big screen!

    Ahhh...the memories!

    God...do you think I'm sounding OLD????

    Yep!

    So good to see ya, Nitebyrd...you always share a GREAT laugh with me...THANKS!

    Sincerely,
    Bette Davis

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  7. Oh GOOD GOD, Dave!!!!

    You made me laugh SO HARD I had to pee!!!

    I LOVED the part about coming back into a "dark cavern"...because that's SOOO true! And the part about packing a catheder and the 2nd mortgage!!

    I think I need to add your comment to this post as a P.S. - cause it's worth a WHOLE post!

    Dave....that description was FLAWLESS and BRILLIANT!!! You should seriously think about starting a new blog to express your wonderful humor!

    Oh man, I can't thank you ENOUGH for sharing yourself with this post, Dave. That was GREAT!

    Sincerely,
    Bugs Bunny

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  8. Hiya Mel!

    Oh..that's RIGHT...I forgot that you're a POPCORN lover!!!

    And it's SOOO true...movie popcorn is truly the BEST tasting popcorn around!!! I LOVE the butter machine, when it squirts all that hot butter into the tub of popcorn. It SMELLS SOOOOO good! And sipping an ice cold coke in between bites...and then BURPING!#?!

    Oh...Oh...and I had heard from someone that Golden Compass was WONDERFUL. It's playing at a movie house not too far from me.

    Maybe when I get my Income-Tax check back...I'll spend HALF of it to go see it!

    Tee-Hee!

    God love ya, Mel! Thanks for stopping by today to hello...you always make me smile, dear friend!

    Buttered Popcorn anyone????

    Sincerely,
    Pause

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  9. Ron~
    Oh
    oh
    oh
    I sooooooooo agree!
    I don't want to waste my time, my money or my hiney! Now you need to add one important thing, that maybe where you live doesn't have this problem, Selection.
    I don't want to see GOD, guns guts and gonads. I live in the m,iddle of no where, if ther is a movie out there i want to see, ( like the air i breathe) it's a million miles form me, so i have to wait for the dvd anyway!
    My good man, you have spoken the truth!

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  10. I really like your new look!! :)
    You are so right about the movies..it is so expensive now...especially since I always want coke, popcorn, and chocolate candy!
    I am not a "crowd person" either.
    I agree about breaks at home..and I like being able to back it up when I miss something..and lately that is often!

    Thanks for making me laugh again darlin' Ron.

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  11. PS, sorry i haven't been buy lately, life's been very hectic!

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  12. Hiya Gypsy-Heart!

    I JUST left a comment on your blog about 10 minutes ago...that's TOO funny!

    Thanks, my friend...I've been slowly creating and planning this change for a few weeks. It took me a while to find the graphics and make the header. I felt like I wanted something with a "film feel" and for to be simplier in color (black, white and red) I love those!

    I've been feeling very theatrical lately so I wanted my blog to match my mood.

    I really enjoy customizing web sites and my goal is to eventually create one from scratch. I can't believe I'm even saying that, since I SWORE to high heaven I would NEVER get a computer or go on-line!!!

    I'm such a lier!

    Oh...that's so funny what you said about wanting to "back up" the film - me too! I've gotten so use to watching DVD's, that when I'm ever in a movie theater...I've actually thought that I could back it up to hear something I missed!!

    I'm not one for crowds either - especially sitting so CLOSE.

    (it's an energy thing!)

    Energy cooties!

    Thanks so much for stopping by my dear friend. You always add a bright light to this place!

    Hey...do you know that it was actually 73 degrees here today and friggin' HUMID as all hell!

    Felt like Florida again!

    Have a great evening....

    Sincerely,
    Mr. Twizzler

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  13. Greetings Sorrow!

    God, guts, guns, and gonads!!!!!

    I just about pooped when you said that!

    You ain't kidding about the SELECTION. The selection here is the same....SHIT!

    This is why I RENT and also rewatch films that I already have at home.

    (of course they're all black and white and have either Better Davis or Joan Crawford in them)

    Hey listen...I just wanted you to truly know that I'm one of those people who you NEVER have to feel you need to come visit everyday or I'm going to be hurt. I totally know that we all have lives outside of the blog world. With all of my good friendships, they've always been the type where we live by one motto..."We see each other whenever we see each other."

    Thank you though, for caring!

    You're such a fine lady!

    And I hope all is going well with your pottery!!!

    Sincerely,
    Mr. Twizzler

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  14. That was definatly a rent vent

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  15. Yep.

    VERY nice look ya got goin' on here.

    But I do miss playin' with George's head.....LOL

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  16. Hello Mel!

    Hey...but you never can tell what will appear next to "replace" George's head!?!?

    (I certainly can never tell!?)

    Thanks for enjoying the new look...I had an awesome time learning how to customize certain things. There' so much great information online that teaches web design tips...and the best part...is that's it's free!

    Good seeing ya, Mel! Hope you get a little break with the snow!?!

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  17. Hellooooo Enigma!

    You've got the GREATEST sense of humor!

    I was just thinkig last night how so many of the people who come visit here...have a WONDERFUL sense of humor.

    I feel really blessed about that too!

    So thank YOU Enigma for always adding your dose...it's much enjoyed!

    P.S. This rent vent felt marvelous. And I've got another one coming up soon...woo-woo!

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  18. G'day from Australia,

    Okay, I'm off to try the ``Next'' button on my remote too!!

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  19. G'day David!

    Good seeing ya!

    Ok, try it...and let me know how you feel when it FORBIDS you to move forward. But I'm warning you...you'll be possessed with the desire to throw it across the room!

    (and actually, that feels kind of nice)

    Thanks for dropping by to say hello, kind sir...always a nice treat!

    Twizzler Man

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  20. Right on! Every once in awhile I feel compelled to go to a theater, and it seems like every time I go, someone's coming in late, and invariably sitting right next to me with their crackly bags of chips/candy.

    Forget the violence onscreen, I'm about ready to create some offscreen.

    It's sad, like Nitebyrd said, how the whole idea of seeing a show with a room full of other enthusiastic moviegoers is more likely to leave people with a bad feeling than anything else.

    And yes, the costs... I can understand that theaters are trying to survive, but this isn't the way to do it.

    This is just one more example to me of how increasingly isolated our culture is becoming.

    On the other hand, I really enjoy being able to pause the movie to fix another drink, having a fire in the background, and watching the second half the following evening if I choose. Theaters can never compete with any of that.

    Two thumbs up, Ron!

    Greg

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  21. Greetings Greg!

    Wonderful point you brought up here about how our culture is becoming isolated...I totally agree with that!

    Higher movie ticket prices, means less people going to the movies...so less socializing.

    And I think that's one of the reasons why, as much as it's challenging for me to live in a city being SO CLOSE to other people...it somehow reminds me to stay aware that I'm not the only person on this planet - because I have a tendency to isolate myself.

    Another point, is being able to shop on-line for anything...I mean, who needs to go to the store anymore (again, less socializing). And being in retail, I see how we suffer.

    Oh, God...I could go on and on.....

    But it is wonderful to come home to my own sanity and pop in a DVD and enjoy all of those things that you mentioned. And I too enjoy watching the second half the following evening!!!

    Thanks for sharing your wonderful voice on this post, Greg...you've added much!

    Thanks Ebert!

    Siscal

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  22. Hey Ron! Fun post! If you have not seen Golden Compass (someone over here mentioned it) - I feel like it is one you will absolutely LOVE. There's a lot of things in there with various perceptions. I think you would like this one. I got to see this movie (though I rarely go)-- And i had 5 kids with me (Yep - SUPER SUPER EXPENSIVE WITH KIDS WAH!)--- but I would go see it again I found it that interesting actually. Hugs- and i LOVE the new "digs" --- funky fresh and fabulous! :)))

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  23. Ola Sibyllae!

    Thanks for enjoying the new "digs" and that's sooo funny what you said: funky, fresh and fabulous.

    (the 3 F's)

    Hey, and thanks for adding your opinion of Golden Compass, cause I really respect your choice of films!! You're the third person to mention it...so it must be an OMEN. By your choice of words, it sounds like something I would definately enjoy!

    Oh, my God...and you saw it with 5children?? Bless you!

    What...did it cost you about $125.00?????

    Tee-hee!

    Much thanks for dropping by tonight, my friend...always a joy sharing words with you!

    AAaaand CUT...that's a WRAP!

    Print it!

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  24. Bravo on or vent. I'm wondering when they will hand me a credit application before buying the movie ticketes and consessions.

    We smuggle in candy and/or carmel corn all the time. It makes me feel like a theif, but I could buy a nice meal for what they want for a soda and popcorn, sheesh.

    I've seen sctual commercials aired before the movie too. That really pisses me off. Whay do I have to pay to watch an advertisement?

    I better stop here, because I can feel myself getting all reved up now.

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  25. We very rarely go to the cinema these days Ron for exactly the reasons you give. I much prefer the comfort of my own home where I can pause to make a cuppa!

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  26. Morning Akelamalu~

    Hey, and I just thought of something...I bet the price of a movie theater ticket in the UK is even HIGHER than it is here.

    And you said it...Nothing like a nice cup of french pressed coffee for watching a film!

    (and of course...twizzlers)

    Good to see ya...and thank you for stoppping by!

    Enjoy your weekend, Akelamalu!!!

    Twizzler Man

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  27. Morning Jeff~

    So great to see ya!

    I'm so happy I post this because I've never realized how many other people don't enjoy going to the movies anymmore.

    Oh, damn...and your line about a credit application killed me! And the REALLY funny part...is that it's probably actually going to happen one day!!

    I can't even imagine having to take my children. Like Dave said...you have to take out a 2nd mortgage!

    Thanks for stopping by to say Hi, buddy...always great!

    Enjoy your weekend.

    Twizzler Man

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