My inspiration for this post came from my dear, longtime blogging friend, Debbie @ Musings by an ND Domer's Mom, who is not only a gifted...
Going to the dentist for me, is right up there with having my testicles kicked.I don’t care what you go for (even if it’s just a simple cleaning), there’s always a tray sitting in front of you, with all these sharp, pointy and torturous looking metal objects, that you know will eventually be poked around in your mouth. And I love how when the over-head examining light hits these objects just the right way…they seem to glisten with an evilness.
I remember as a kid, when my father would take me to our family dentist. I always thought that my dad should have gone to dental school, because he LOVED taking me there. He always got this bright GLEE in his eyes, as he sat in a nearby chair and watched the dentist drilling my molars. He seemed fascinated to the point of actually being slightly aroused.
(much like the dentist in “Little Shop of Horrors”)
Anyway, the gas that they would use to anesthetize, was one of the most retched smelling stuff. Even as I write this, I can still recall the hideous odor. It smelt like sweet burnt rubber. And I never understood why they called it LAUGHING GAS, when for me, I did anything BUT laugh. After a few minutes of inhalation, I felt like I was freaking out on psychedelic drugs.
Oh my god…one time during a routine filling, the dentist must of had the gas turned up to FULL THROTTLE…because at one point, I started hallucinating that his hands were attacking me, like two black crows. I started thrashing my arms around and screaming, “No…No…get away!!”
My father had to come over and calm me down, “Ok Ronnie, calm down, boy…it’s only the gas.”
Only the GAS?? I mean, I felt like I was being thrown into the movie, “The Birds” and he’s telling me to calm down!
As an adult, I refuse to take laughing gas, and opt for novacane.
Another favorite, is when they stuff your mouth with about 6 of those cotton pads, that look like mini tampons. Your mouth feels like you have the worse case of cotton-mouth. And at the same time, the dental assistant is using a vacuum cleaner hose, to suck out what little amount of saliva you have left.
And then, like you can respond, the dentist will inevitably ask you, “You doing ok? You in any pain?”
“No…no pain, I only feel like a herd of sheep just walked into my mouth.”
But my all time favorite, is when you’re having a root canal procedure, and they place a dental dam over your mouth, which looks like a diaphragm and smells like a balloon. And the whole time, it’s pressing up against your nose, making you feel like you’re suffocating. Your mouth is open for what seems like an hour, so when it’s finished, you feel as though you have a severe case of lock-jaw.
I suppose, one of the things that I use to like about going to the dentist, was when I was a kid, and was leaving. They gave me a little plastic jewelry ring and a cherry lollipop.
The ring was for my bravery, and the lollipop I guess…was to make sure I came back!
Enjoy your weekend, everyone!
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