I Hate Email Jokes!

More than anything…I HATE getting email jokes forwarded to me from people who under the severe delusion that I enjoy them.

You know the ones I‘m talking about….

The emails that arrive, which have been forwarded from about 50 thousand other people, who have nothing better to do with their lives, than to send NOT funny jokes.

I also can’t stand getting those annoying email chain letters that come with specific threatening instructions to forward it to 10 people who you love…or you will have a horrible destiny.

(and considering all the chain letters I’ve deleted…I guess I should be dead by now)

I use to know this guy, who knew absolutely nothing about a computer, except how to turn it on, and forward emails.

That’s it!

At night, he would literally sit a home for hours and hours, and receive countless email jokes from friends all over the country, and then forward them to all his unfortunate friends here.

I would get (no lie) 5-7 email jokes a day. And almost everyone of them came with attachments and photos…and some of them with animated jokes.

(and they were about as funny as getting a paper cut on your lip)

I put up with this torture for a few weeks and then finally told him one day, to STOP SENDING ME FRIGGIN’ EMAIL JOKES...I HATE THEM!!!

And did he stop?

NO!

In fact, not only did he keep sending me jokes…but one night, instead of just emailing me the web address of a photography site he wanted me to look at…he emailed me ALL FIVE PAGES of the web site!

And this is man who’s owned a computer for the past 7 years.

Why???

Finally, I just put him on my email block list and never told him.

And every time I saw him he’d say, “Oh…weren’t those jokes I sent you last night a RIOT?”

“Yea, a total riot…in fact, I’m still laughing."


36 comments

  1. nearly all the emails I get at work are these jokes. some of them are funny but others I look at anf think ..........why!!

    I delete all the ones that are in aid of anything like pass this on becasue little louise is dying and if we get this email to 8million people the hospital will give her treatment for free....I am sure you have seen the kind of thing I mean.

    If I do send any on it is only to friends I think will appreciate it for its cuteness or if it really is funny but I don't do the send to X amount of people. nothing good or bad is going to happen because I did or didn't pass on an email. Usually I will cut and paste and only use the bits I like. even if I do forward the original I always delete the pages of email addresses that precede the joke....they really are no joke!!

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  2. Oh my goodness Ron, I hate fw emails too. My sister in law is horrible for this. I never get a real email from her, but she sends at least 3 or 4 forwards a day to me and my husband...to each of our email accounts.
    Last month, all of my husband's family went out to dinner one night and his sister asked the table as a whole, "Do you all get the emails that I send you because no one ever responds."
    My husband said (in the middle of Cracker Barrell), "Yes Monica, I get them, thanks for reminding me. I've been meaning to tell you, stop sending me fucking forwards."
    And of course, his mother gasped and yelled at him for using the F word. And his sister got all pouty.
    It was a great family get together.

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  3. I'll have to keep this in mind as there have been a few I will forward to a blog bud or two...
    depending....I'm a SAG for goodness sake, we find ALOT of things funny. LOL

    We have a friend who, like you, has made it perfectly clear to not send that type of stuff either. He won't open it. That's cool tho. To each his own!
    But sometimes I get a kick out of a joke.... like a cartoon. The gas ones were funny. The Bushisms I liked and have a whole bunch of things like that stored on my 'puter for a blog I was going to do.

    The latest pic going around was the one of a five dollar bill that said on it 'gift certificate for a gallon of gas'. teehee

    I have a girlfriend who only got a computer maybe 2 years ago. Her husband has been sick with cancer for 8... yes, 8 years... and has been unable to work and needs morphine/oxygen every day. :((( Because he cannot go out and if his wife is busy taking care of the household or just plain exhausted from his constant care, the only
    things he has to do, other than his newspaper and music/dvd collection is what people send him on the computer. I've seen just about all the silly, senseless emails that go around and most of the time just hit delete, but he has not and wants them, so I send stuff to him and it keeps him busy.
    A couple times I forwarded ones with pictures of big boobed girls and stupid captions, or in short shorts riding all the way up, etc. He got a kick out of that.... thanked me for sending him the porn. LOL OH he has NOOOO idea what's available on the Net. LOL


    So.... this man walks into a bar.....

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  4. These emails do get tiring and there have been times when I just deleted them before I opened them up. They are almost as annioying as the emails saying people need help or I hit the lottery. They get my dander and irritate me to no end. The emails that I have to forward to half the population of the known world is another pet peeve of mine also.
    But, the occasional card from a friend or a note to say hello; now that is what I enjoy the most.

    Now if you will forward this to at least 137 people in the next 12 seconds you will win the lotto for $7.49 with a chance to have a sinus cavity cleaning.

    Ron, have a great day.

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  5. As much as I hate them, I'm compelled to read them. Some are actually funny. Luckily, my email is never really bombarded with those type of things. I do get TONS of penis enlarger, colon cleaners (EWWW!) and offers to claim ginormous lottery prizes in Africa or some place. THOSE emails really annoy me.

    I know you like the squirrel pictures, so I'll keep sending the good ones but will never, ever send you a joke. Promise. :D

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  6. I'm sorry, but you know the same guy I do? Apparently because the exact same thing happened to me for the longest time. Until I finally emailed him and said "back off already!"

    Now I only get them once in awhile, but not from him. I hate the inspirational ones that say things like "God is here for you today, but won't be tomorrow if you don't send this to 200 other people you love."

    That and "maybe you just don't love those people as much as you think or you would have already sent those 10 email forwards to them .."

    I get enough guilt trips from my Monster-in-law and even myself. I don't need email to do it for me.

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  7. Oh Ron...I have a friend that was emailing me gross pics. You know like auto accidents, terrible ones. A guy cut in half from a auto accident. He was drunk. There was more. I don't even want to write you about that one.

    Sweetie, I grew up in a tough neighborhood. There's things we throw out from our minds, things we think are no good. A child should not live like that...I don't want death to be common in my life. I grieve for those close to me that have passed away...and I will grieve for those I don't know too...because they have someone here missing them and that is a sad picture.

    I phoned her and told her I don't want to see those things. They are people and shouldn't be on the internet in the first place. She was okay with it. :D

    later babes.

    PS...I delete those chain letters too.

    ReplyDelete
  8. *winces*

    I don't do 'em either.
    And I probably oughta be more willing, cuz some of the folks who correspond with me--honestly, that's the best they can do, today.

    Now, the ones that talk about how G-d's gonna be disappointed and bad things are gonna happen cuz I don't forward them....those just make me sad that folks would actually buy into that garbage, yaknow?

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  9. I am with Mel, the ones i usually get are from someone telling me i am going to Hell if I don't forward it to at least 90 people.
    Gimme a break.
    I don't have any email jokesters,

    must be because I have no sense of humor...
    ?
    ?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh, Nicole....you made me BUST out LAUGHING with your husbands reply to his sister's emails!!!!

    GOOD FOR HIM!!!

    Aren't these emails the most ANNOYING things???

    I mean, it's not like they just send you one, occasionally...it's every FREAKING day!!

    I even have a friend of mine, who's FATHER (who I barely know) sending me the most UNFUNNY email jokes. I don't even open them anymore...I just keep deleting them!

    Thanks for sharing in my email joke maddness, Nicole. At least I'm not the only one who hates them!

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  11. Evening Lady in Red~

    WOW...I can't believe you actually get email jokes at work!

    And YES...I have seen the emails you're talking about, referring to sending aid. I often wonder HOW these people get the email addresses to send them.

    Yes...I too have occasionally forwarded a joke, that I may think a friend will get a kick out of, but it's usually ONE a year. Most of the jokes I get...I really don't find funny!

    And it's getting to the point, where I don't like giving my email address out anymore, in fear of being bombarded with jokes and junk mail, ya know?

    Thanks for dropping by today, Lady. It's always nice chatting with you!

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  12. Evening Miss Nitebyrd~

    First of all I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the squirrell photos you've sent me...and if you ever find anymore, you can keep sending them to me!

    They're always so damn CUTE!

    No, what I'm talking about here, is when someone sends me (5-7) email jokes everyday. After one or two, I just find them too time consuming and annoying.

    Hey...I've NEVER gotten any penis enlargement or colon cleansing ones.

    (that actually MIGHT be interesting)

    It's funny, because I rarely get any advertising emails. Probably because I don't order things online.

    *Yea...now watch me get a hundred of them tomorrow!

    Always GREAT seeing ya, dear Nitebyrd. Thanks for stopping by!

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  13. Howdy Mel~

    Yea...it's the emails that come with instructions to pass it forward to PRODUCE good luck, that get to me too.

    When I was a kid, and my friends would mail me chain letters...I would toss them in the garbage!

    (aren't I evil?)

    Yes, I do realize too, that some people on the Internet...that's the best they can do. But it's the VOLUME of jokes that I receive that gets on my nerves. I find it invasive.

    But that's just me.

    Great seeing ya, Mel. And thank you for stopping by!!!

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  14. Hi Johnny's Mommy~

    Yea...that's my point here.

    To get an occassional joke sent to me, I don't mind...but it's like people don't know when to STOP. And after a while, they're no longer funny!

    And good for you, telling him to, "Back off already." It's terribly invasive, ya know?

    And I'm with you about the phoney inspirational ones, that tell you to pass on the LOVE!!

    Oh...you're so FUNNY about the guilt trips from the Monster-In-Law!

    Don't ya just LOVE family???

    NOT!

    GREAT talking to you, JM...and thanks for sharing!

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  15. Evening Miss Jones~

    OMG...those photos sound awfully disturbing.

    Ya, know...it's one thing to realise that death is natural, but just as you shared...when it becomes this SHOCK value thing...it's totally disrespectful.

    Good for you, for speaking up about your feelings to your friend, Spiky. You're right...they shouldn't be on the Internet. Glad she was ok with it.

    Thank you for sharing your wisdom, dear lady.

    P.S. And don't you love hitting the DELETE button on those chain letters??? tee, hee!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Evening Mr. Funny Dave~

    oooh...oooh...a FREE sinus cavity cleaning!!! And I can use that $7.49 to take 3 and half subway rides!!!

    Yes...I totally agree about getting an email greeting card (which I happen to enjoy sending to people). Those are WONDERFUL to give and receive, aren't they?

    But, damn it...it's those other 137 email jokes, email forwards, and email pleas, that RACK MY LIBRA NERVES!!!

    ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

    God love ya, Dave....thank you for sharing in my insanity!!!

    Peace, Brother!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Greetings Crystal Chick~

    Hey...that joke about the $5.00 bill certificate for GAS...actually WAS funny!!!

    Really!

    Ya know, I honestly DO see the enjoyment that someone would get out of receiving email jokes and things, such as your friends husband, who is ill and is confind to the home...really I do. And I'm absolutely sure he LOVES getting your wonderful humor, you wild woman, you!

    (especially the BIG Boobed girls)

    woo-woo!

    And this post is not meant to say that I don't feel like I EVER want to get another email joke. It's just that some people who send them (to me, I mean) just go into excess, and it becomes no longer a special TREAT. It just becomes a little tiresome.

    Thank you, you wonderful SAG lady! For always adding so much HUMOR to this blog....your presence here, is such a welcome!

    So...this man walks into a bar...

    ReplyDelete
  18. Evening Lady Sorrow~

    OH MY GOD....YOU'RE GOING TO HELL!!!

    QUICK, QUICK...start forwarding!!!

    (give me a break)

    And you are SOOOOOOOOO lucky not to have any JOKESTERS...

    Trust me...most of them are NOT funny!

    tee, hee!

    Thanks for stopping by, dear Sorrow!

    You're a HOOT!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh, wow, you know I haven't gotten many of these lately. I think all my friends and family have finally figured it out. lol It can take a while.

    Too sad your friend can't savy up a little. sheesh.

    I do, however, win the UK lottery several times a week. I'm one lucky gal.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Howdy Rhea~

    WOW....you actually WIN the UK lottery???

    You ARE one lucky gal!

    (can I borrow $50.00?)

    Yes...this friend of mine definately needs a few lessons on SAVY computerness!

    Can you believe he actually emailed me a web site???

    God love him!

    Thanks for dropping by tonight, Rhea. Always nice seeing ya!

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  21. hi ron...I,m lurking LOl.I totally agree, and what those idiots dont realise, is when they foreward those 50 emails , spammers are busy collecting the addresses.

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  22. What I hate are the God emails...

    "If you believe in God, if you love Jesus, you'll send this to ten frineds right away! If you delete it then you don't believe in God or love Jesus."

    Ummm, God and I have a personal relationship that is not affected by emails... and it just makes me SO MAD that people would write that crap! I get those nearly every day. Bah.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Morning Enigma!!!

    GREAT seeing ya!!

    So glad you stopped by!

    Hey...I actually stopped by your blog the other day and wanted to leave you a miss-you comment, but saw that comments where closed.

    (so I just LURKED a little...HA!)

    And your're right about the spam collectors!

    I don't mind a joke now and then...however 5 a day...GRrrrrr!!!

    I hope all is going well for you and that you're sharing the work you LOVE to do!

    Thank you for taking the time to say HI!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Morning Middle Child~

    Makes me MAD too!!!

    I've never gotten those God-type emails ...but have received those horrible chain letters about good karma...and passing it forward!!!

    HA!

    And the the email jokes!!!!

    Oy Vey!

    delete, delete, delete!

    Thanks for popping by today, MC...and for sharing in the email maddness!!!

    Enjoy your day!

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  25. LOL I don't mind the jokes but I hate the chain letter ones - I just delete them. What's your email addy Ron I've got some you'd really enjoy?

    Only Kidding :)

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  26. Strangely the reaction I had to one of these joke emails last autumn was one of elation. A man I had been involved with briefly in the summer /autumn 2006 had been working away he was sometime working in Basra, when I didn't hear from him for month I was very worried. Then one year and one week after I last saw him I received one of these chain emails. I was so pleased to know he was still alive.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Evening Akelamalu~

    Ha!

    Hey...a good joke now and then is GREAT...so do!

    YES...the chain letters?

    Well...you already read how I feel about them...

    Aren't they lovely???

    NOT!

    Thanks for stopping by, dear lady. Always nice talking to you...and enjoy your evening!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Evening Lady in Red~

    WOW...I bet it WAS great hearing from him, again.

    (a whole year???)

    That's one of those times, when it's a pleasure to receive and email joke.

    So glad he let you know he was ok!

    Thanks for stopping by again, Lady. And I hope you're enjoying your new laptop!

    ReplyDelete
  29. I am WITH you ALL the way!!
    Some jokes = ok, BOmBaRdMenT = HelL NO!!
    HittTinG DELETE = priceless!
    Oh! I have recieved SOME stuff that I liked (I save in a folder for later use, but the rest I delete!)
    In the beginning I did fwd, now most are deleted.
    And as for following the "warning" of the letters, I have failed, so I guess it makes me resposible for 99.9999999.87% of the world's, mine and my loved one's problems!
    Ooops, Sorry people!

    ReplyDelete
  30. I. AM. SO. THE. SAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Me and you are like 2 peas in a pod dear Ronnie!!!

    It was only a couple of days ago that I finally decided to send ANOTHER EMAIL (Yes another coz some dickheads just don't take a hint!) asking people to PLEASE STOP sending me rubbish forward emails!!!! GRRRRRRR

    And you are sooo right!!! No matter how many times I tell people not to... they freaking still do it!!!!

    I just delete them all without looking at the bastards now!!

    *GiGGLeS* xx

    ReplyDelete
  31. Howdy Trub~

    Oh...you are sooo FUNNY!

    Me too...with all the "warning emails" I've deleted...I'm probably the cause of GLOBAL WARMING!!!!

    tee, hee!

    Hey...and isn't it FUN to keep hitting DELETE, DELETE, DELETE!

    (aren't we bad?)

    Thanks for stopping by, Trub!

    It's so nice sharing our hatred for email jokes!!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Greetings Giggle~

    YOU CRACK ME UP!!!

    But I'm SOOO with you.

    I NEVER even open them anymore...I just click and delete.

    And sometimes, because I delete them so fast...I often wonder if I've deleted something that my boss from work may have sent me!

    ooops!

    God Love ya, Giggle!

    And may the DELETING continue!

    ReplyDelete
  33. me too..and I dislike the "send this out to 5, 10, 15, etc people within five minutes (including the sender) for good luck, blessings, etc."

    I HATE the emails that are sent out that are negative, destructive, political, etc,..that are bull shit. If they had only checked truthorfiction.com they would have NOT sent it out to the 50+ people on their list. Then again...some still would send it out. At least when I nicely tell them to check it out at truthorfiction.com...they remove me from their list. :)

    Thanks for the vent..it made me feel like less of a bitch!

    Love ya!!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Evening Dearest Gypsy-Heart~

    You are NOT a bitch my friend...you just hate being invaded upon...like ME!!!

    I find these emails so intrusive. One or two email jokes are not bad, but when people go CRAZY with them...I go NUTS! And most of the ones I'm talking about are from friends!!!

    GRrrrrrr!@#!!

    Hey...I need to check out this "truth or fiction.com" that you spoke about...I've never heard of them. It sounds interesting!

    Thank god I don't get junk mail...and I don't know why either. Maybe it's because I have a really good spam filter on my email system!?

    Thanks so much for stopping by this evening, Gypsy-Heart...it's ALWAYS great VENTING with you!!!

    Love ya!

    ReplyDelete
  35. I just collect, never forward.

    I don't mind receiving them either, but never reply.

    I do see your point tho, thats why I have a few email accounts, the important one is only selectively given out to those I hope will never get the forward bug.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Hi Zig!

    Welcome!

    Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment!

    Hey, it's funny that you should mention about having a FEW email accounts, because just recently, I was thinking about doing the same thing. I think with gmail you can add others. I need to check that out.

    I actually don't mind getting an occassional joke, but when it's done in excess, that's when I get annoyed.

    I think most of my close friends, respect my wishes.

    THANK GOD!!?#

    Nice meeting you, stop by anytime!

    Enjoy your evening.

    ReplyDelete