My inspiration for this post came from my dear, longtime blogging friend, Debbie @ Musings by an ND Domer's Mom, who is not only a gifted...
During the entire 7 years that I’ve lived in this apartment building, I’ve never ONCE seen a bug.(and that’s pretty incredible when you live in a rat infested city)
However last night, while I was sitting at this computer…I suddenly noticed out of the corner of my eye…something moving VERY quickly up the wall.
I turned to look…
OH MY GOD…it was a centipede-looking-thing. It had HUGE antenna’s and about 50 thousand legs that made it move like a caterpillar on SPEED.
My toes curled as I watched it run behind one of the mirrors hanging directly in front of my desk. I quickly found a shoe and started hitting the frame in the hopes of scaring it to death.
And then I suddenly noticed those HUGE antenna’s sticking out from the edge of the frame.
I knew what he was thinking….“I’ll make a quick DASH for it.”
He tried…but I was much too fast for him.
SPLAT!
(I know that eventually I’ll have to come back as a bug in my next life because of this pre-meditated murder. However, I don’t give a shit…I’ll deal with that later)
Having lived in Florida for almost 20 years…I’ve murdered about 7 billion bugs.
(so I’ve got A LOT of bug incarnations ahead of me)
Florida is the CAPITAL of bugs.
Several of my readers live in Florida, so I know you’ll agree with me, when I say that Palmetto bugs are the spawn of SATAN.
Palmetto bugs are these black, horrid, flying creatures that come up from the depths of hell and laugh at you, simply because they know how ugly they are, and that they’ll scare you into cardiac arrest.
(see photo above)
They’re so HUGE that you could literally strap a saddle on them and ride them!
And they're absolutely impossible to destroy.
(outside of a steamroller)
I once used half a can of Aqua Net Hairspray on one...and the only thing that happened, was that it's hair looked better.
And the retched SPIDERS who lurk in Florida are about the size of a Frisbee and have FUR on them.
Thank god I had two cats, because whenever a palmetto bug or spider would get into my apartment, they would both play the most exuberant game of ice hockey with them.
Ping!.…ping!….ping!
And if the cats didn’t get them, I would sometimes use the hose on my vacuum cleaner and SUCK them off the wall!
One time a spider got behind my bed and hid. I had to sleep on the couch with the cats for two weeks (with one eye open) in fear that it would crawl on me in the middle of the night and bite me.
I’ll be honest with you…I’m a compete WUSS when it comes to bugs.
Give me a mouse, rat, snake, or a rapid pit-bull anytime…
But a BUG…totally freaks me the hell out!
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