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Today while I was tweezing my bushy eyebrows, I was suddenly transported back to a time in cosmetology school, when I was learning the art of brow waxing.

Waxing someone’s eyebrows for the first time is quite a scary experience, because if you make a mistake in the application of the wax, two things can happen….

1) If the wax is too hot…you can cause the client to suddenly scream in agony, as if someone poured volcanic lava all over their skin.

2) If too much wax is applied below the eyebrows…the client could end up looking like a silent film star with Jean Harlow eyebrows.

(which is not a bad thing…it’s just not overly attractive on a man)

When it came time for me to practice the “brow waxing section” of my training, I BEGGED a good friend of mine to be my guinea pig.

For those of you who have no idea what a brow waxing procedure involves, let me explain…

*Warm wax is applied to the area of hair that you want to remove, using a wooden popsicle stick. Then a small piece of pre-cut cotton cloth strip is laid on top of the wax. The person doing the waxing, will then press the cloth strip down and rub their fingers back and forth over the area. After the wax begins to cool a bit, a corner of the cloth strip is lifted, and then quickly RIPPED OFF in the opposite direction of the hair growth.

And viola! No more hair.

I know it sounds like this must hurt….

(that’s only because it CAN)

If done quickly, the pain is no more than pulling off a small piece of scotch tape from your skin.

If NOT done quickly, the pain is no more than pulling off a piece of DUCK tape on a SCAB.

Anyway…this friend of mine graciously consented in allowing me to experiment on his eyebrows.

The whole procedure was going very well, until I completely unnoticed that I had accidentally got a big drop of wax onto the center of one of his eyebrows, so that when I ripped the piece of cloth off, the CENTER of his eyebrow came with it… leaving a big gaping hole.

RRRRRRRRRIP….!

He suddenly SPRANG up from the chair like a Jack in the Box, clutching his eye with his hands and screamed…

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?

And when I noticed what had happened…my mouth flew open and my eyes widened in horror!

I said, “Tim…I don’t know how to tell you this…but something went very wrong.”

He immediately asked to see a mirror and I said, “No…I REALLY don’t think you want to see this.”

When he looked into the mirror he said, “HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME…I LOOK LIKE A FREAK!

I said, “I don’t know…I think you must have moved or something”

He said, “OK, MR. BEAUTICIAN…WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO DO NOW?”

I said, “Well…perhaps you could try a little eyebrow pencil”




30 comments:

  1. Ow.
    OW!

    k.....just reading made me wince.....

    And just think--that's just the eyebrows you're talkin'...

    ....yikes....

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  2. OMFG!... as cold Chai shoots thru her nose..... LOL
    Are you and Tim still friends??? LOL
    I'll bet you are fabulous at brow waxing now though.

    I have never had that done. Actually, I've never had too many beauty treatments done professionally. I used to have really long nails and always did them myself. Now, with raging hormones, they don't grow so well so I get one of those do-it-yourself kits when I feel like going to the trouble or we have to dress up.
    I trim my own hair...oh.the.horror... as I have used craft scissors to do it if I can't find the good ones. LOL
    Hair color, do it myself with whatever auburn red shade grabs me at the drugstore. Actually missed a section of hair last time and hub was kind enough to point it out to me and then show my daughter. WTF? Guys aren't supposed to notice that stuff so much. His busted lip is healing nicely. ;)
    Pedicure, never had one. I paint my own toenails.
    I guess the money I could spend on some of those thing I prefer to drink and read at Barnes. Money only goes so far.
    For my birthday one year, hubby got me a 'day at the spa' and while it was very nice because he went too and got a hair cut and we had lunch there together, I only really liked the facial and the foot massage.
    The back massage, the hairstyling, the manicure, I could have done without. It was actually tooooo many treatments in one day. I guess being in a heightened state of relaxation made me so sensitive that I got car sick on the way home from Pennsylvania afterwards.
    Well, it really doesn't take much for me to get motion sick anyway though.

    Thanks for a funny post!!

    Happy day!

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  3. hmm is he still your friend?

    I have never waxed any part of me nor do I intend to start.


    I see you have been playing with your blog again I must go back and find the post you did on blog design

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  4. OMG! That is too funny! Your friend must have just LOVED you after that!

    I'll be learning the fine art of waxing very soon. Let's just say, I've been warned to watch where I put my wax! LOL

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  5. Good Wednesday morning Ron.

    Ha-ha, ohhh serious bummer !!!

    I have been getting waxed since I was 18. Some cosmetologists are good at it - and some are not, no matter how much 'experience' they have.

    It's not just the heat of the wax, it's the shape you end up with as well.

    You have to find a specialist - the lady I go to now in ONLY does eyebrows.
    Debbie at Chroma in Beverly Hills on little Santa Monica Blvd is outstanding...

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  6. ron...Oh my god...i think you should have done the other just the ame. I mean it could be the new vogue.

    Ron baby, I want to hang out with you. You are so much fun. I know eventually they will gather us and put in a jail of some kind. Most likely for the insane. nay that would be crazy of them to do that huh? Anyway. hopefully they put us in the same cell. It would be fun.

    Anyway yeah...its an art to wax. I mean once I had a Brazilian wax...Fook me, that hurt like a mother F@cker. I mean I had a tear roll from my eye, but I sucked up the pain. So tell your buddy...if Spiky is able to do it...so he should too.

    On second thought...it really hurt. Sweetie make him a nice supper to make up...um, accident.

    hehehe...sweetie babe, how did you get him to do it? hehehehe.

    ciao babe...

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  7. Afternoon Mel~

    You're SO right...that's just the EYEBROWS I'm talking about!

    I'll save another post for the time I waxed a woman's complete body.

    (it took me 2 hours!!)

    And she SLEPT through the whole thing!?!?!

    God love her!

    GREAT seeing ya, Mel!

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  8. Afternoon Crystal Chick!

    Actually...when done correctly, (which takes time learning) a waxing is not painful. It all depends on what I mentioned here, and also how MUCH hair is being removed from an area. The FIRST time is usually the most sensitive!

    Hey...like you, I cut my own hair and take care of all my own grooming needs.

    I do however, LOVE to receive a foot reflexology session from another practitioner, here in the city. It always feels much better when someone else is doing it.

    Sometimes we even swap HOT STONE reflexology...talk about AWESOME!

    I'm not one for a total body massage though (too ticklish), but a foot and hand massage???? For me...is PURE HEAVEN!!

    LOVE my feet rubbed!

    That was so nice of your hubby to give you a Spa Day. What a nice gentleman he is!

    Thanks for stopping by, M!

    It's ALWAYS fun sharing stories with you!!!

    Happy Day!

    P.S. and don't you LOVE this nice cool weather we're having???

    aaaahhh....

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  9. Afternoon Lady in Red~

    My friend was actually a good sport about the whole thing.

    (much better than I would have been)

    It's funny you mentioned that...

    As I was writing this post, I kept wondering whatever happened to Tim. He got married, and then moved away. We talked once on the phone, but lost touch.

    Yes...thank you for noticing the blog changes. I spent the weekend fiddling with HTML and widened the complete template. I also made the center section wider and added space in between the sidebars. And as you can see, I added a border to the header.

    In the Fall I'm thinking of making a complete theme change!?!?

    Something RETRO.

    Check out the sidebar link "Tips for new Bloggers" It's a great site for people who's blogs are with Blogger. GREAT stuff!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, Lady.

    Always great chatting with you!

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  10. Afternoon Lady Nitebyrd~

    Tee...hee!

    My poor friend actually DID use eyebrow pencil to fill in the hole.

    Becaue without it...he looked like a PUNK ROCKER who ballistic on his eyebrows!

    ooooh....ooooh....you're learning the art of waxing???

    Good Girl!

    Yes...and do be careful on those "sensitive parts".

    (you don't ever want to experience a "burning bush")

    heheheheh!

    Aren't I bad?

    Always a happy moment when we talk, Nitebyrd...thanks for stopping by!

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  11. Afternoon Miss Jones!

    God...you make me laugh, dear one!

    And the WORST part...was that I still had to wax the OTHER brow AFTER I did this!!!

    Tim was such an easy-going guy, and was so understanding after the initial SHOCK wore off about having a HOLY eyebrow!!

    Actually, later on, we LAUGHED about it!

    OK....and HOW you did a Brazilian is beyond me!?!?!? There is NO freaking way I could handle it. Damn...it MUST have been painful!

    I once did a bikini wax on one of my haircutting clients. And the ONLY reason she asked me to do it...was because she felt comfortable and trusted me.

    (she wore her bathing suit bikini bottoms when we did it)

    We were very professional about it.

    But even I CRINGED when I ripped the cloth off!?!?

    Oy chee mamba!

    Yes...one of these days, when the stars are all linesd up correctly...we will meet, Spiky!
    I would so like meeting you too, crazy lady!

    Hey...maybe it will be on a movie set..when we're both cast in the movie musical revival....

    "Hair...the WAXING"

    tee, hee!

    FABU seeing ya, Miss Jones!

    Thanks for your energy here!

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  12. Good Wednesday Afternoon Annie!

    YES! YES! YES!

    Waxing is an ART!

    And not everyone is good at it.

    (especially BROWS)

    It's as you shared...find someone who specializes in it, because usually they really enjoy doing it and are good at it.

    I tweeze my own brows (because I was born with a UNI-BROW) and the SHAPE is very important to consider!

    Your gal, Debbie sounds good!

    Thanks for sharing Annie!

    Always GREAT seeing ya, my friend!

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  13. OUCH!!!

    I like how you told him he must have moved or something. lol OR SOMETHING alright.

    I hate anything that involves hot wax. Luckily I'm not too hairy, and I have no eyebrows, I swear.

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  14. ron...teehee...I laugh cause you asked how I could get a Pain-zilian...I mean brazilian wax. I had a friend who asked me like you asked your friend.

    It's was my first and I was like 17years old. It was a job that was just not her calling. She sucked at it. Now-a-days it's no problem. It's like going to the dentist...remember. Grab him by the balls and say...we will not hurt each other...will we? Of course the pain might just make a gal pass out and he would be smart to sneak out of the salon...with a quick step, as he should before I wake with the anger of the SHE_HULK!

    Ha...no really. It's a breeze these days ad the guys/gals know what they are doing. I thnk they have all practiced on their frineds before venturing into that dangerous job. Hey...they do get a hell of a view huh? They should pay me or at least, let's call it even. hehehe

    Have a fab night ron.

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  15. Ohmggawd!!
    That is HElAAAARrious!!
    But the eyebrows only hurt if its done slow...
    Now a XXX brazillian..
    If I ever go back for another of those, I'm taking a valium or 3 before hand!!
    Mum 'bought' it for me along with a pedicure - glad I got the pedi 1st, but it totally SUCKED! I do a better job myself! lol!

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  16. Howdy Rhea~

    hehehehe....

    It's the ONLY answer I could think of to give him...I was SO imbarrassed! So I blamed it on HIM!!!

    I'm EVIL!

    That's GREAT you're not too hairy...you're very lucky. I once knew a girl in New York City who had no eyebrows too. She would just add a little brow pencil and it looked very natural.

    ME...on the other hand, have enough brow hair for 7 people. It looks like I have 2 caterpillars walking across my forehead.

    Thanks for popping by, Rhea!

    P.S. and I see you still have the same avatar...good, girl...I LOVE it!

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  17. Evening She-Hulk!

    AGAIN...you made me laugh!!!

    "Hey...they do get a hell of a view huh? They should pay me or at least, let's call it even."

    Gosh...that's FUNNY!

    That's right...I did remember what you said about the dentist!!!!

    Damn, girl...I still don't know how you do it!?!?! But I guess you're right...after the first time, I guess it does get easier!

    What a GOOD friend you were to allow your friend to practice!

    Thanks for stopping by again, Miss Brazilian Jones...

    Later!

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  18. Helloooo Trublmaka!

    Hey...GREAT seeing ya!

    You're so right...if it's done SLOW...it's torcher!

    Now a Brazilian...?!?!?!?

    Oy vey!

    And some of the girls at work are talking about getting them, now that it's summertime!

    I have a friend in Florida who does manicures and pedicures for a living...and she's OUTSTANDING! You would have loved her's!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, Trub.

    And thanks for sharing!

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  19. Note to self. If Ron ever comes to visit, hide all the candles in the house and serve scooped ice cream, no popsicles.

    My body is like a living carpet and I can not imagine what it would be like to have any waxing done.

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  20. Oh, man Jeff...you ALWAYS give me a GREAT laugh!!

    It's funny, because more and more men are actually getting waxing done.

    A lot of bodybuilders are doing it, because it lasts longer than shaving or a depilitory cream.

    I too am very hairy...and there's NO freaking way I would do it!

    OUCH!

    GREAT seeing ya, bud!

    Thanks for stopping by!

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  21. Good Morning thank you for a good laugh with my coffee!

    When I was a pre-teen and wanting SO much to be a teen I decided to do my eyebrows...of course, I did not tell my Mother. By the time I finished I had dots. At the dinner table I hoped no one would notice! Needless to say, everyone did notice. After my Mother lectured me and everyone else had a good laugh my Mother fixed them with her eyebrow pencil. It took a long time for them to grow back, and to this day I have very thin narrow eyebrows. I think that is when I decided natural is better!!

    Friends sacrifice for friends don't they!! When I lived on the west coast I had a wonderful friend that had a beauty shop / boutique. She also did makeovers on the local TV station. She called me EARLY one morning with desperation in her voice (I thought someone had died or something). Well, her makeover person got sick and she needed a replacement! It wasn't even daylight yet, and I looked like something the cat drug up! I wanted to "fix myself" up a little she said, "No, come just like you are this is a MAKEOVER!" Now I don't even like to have my picture taken, and she wanted me to go on camera. Alas, like a true friend I did it! After that when I went around doing errands and such people would recognize me.."oh I saw you on Sherry's show!" Which told me I really did need a makeover! Thank god you only get one makeover on a program or she would have made me do it again and again. I can't tell you how many hairstyles she tried out on me!! We walked together for exercise, and in the middle of a conversation she would get this look in her eyes (not hearing a word I was saying). I knew what that meant, and she would say "Hmmm...I am thinking about trying this style on you!"
    She would think I am boring now, because I wear the same style..a swing bob! I have to admit, I miss her energy..there was always an adventure around the corner with her around! She did not allow me to be a hermit! :)

    Love your vents! You not only make us laugh...you stir up some fond memories.

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  22. Morning Dear Gypsy-Heart~

    I too sit here with my morning coffee...laughing WITH you!

    OMG...I'm visualizing your brows at this very moment, sitting at the table, hoping that no one would notice...how cute!

    aaaaah...which reminds me of the first time I tried shaving my face. I ended up looking like I had tried commiting suicide using a nail clipper!!

    Hey...I don't think I ever realized you lived on the west coast.

    And OMG...you were a CELEBRITY!!

    What a GREAT story about your friend using you for the TV show. I bet you looked beautiful!

    I think I may have shared this with you before, but a swing bob is one of the most classic hair cuts. It's easy...and it's also ALWAYS in style...it's CLASSIC! It was my favorite style to cut.

    Thanks SOOOOO MUCH for sharing your wonderful stories here today, my Capricorn friend. Feel free to always share whatever memory your Gypsy-Heart desires...

    It's always enjoyed!

    Have a wonderful day!

    P.S. hey...it's gotten MUCH cooler here these past few days!

    yeppeee!

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  23. LOL that's exactly why I don't have my eyebrows waxed! I'll have my legs waxed even my bikini line but no-one goes near my eyebrows mister!

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  24. I've been getting my eyebrows waxed for years and years. have had 2 mishaps. One similar to what you did to poor Tim. The other where the poor child had some kind of perception issue and one brow was noticably higher than the other.

    first one I penciled in til it grew back in

    second time I told the hysterical crying girl that it was OK, I'd stand on a angle!

    Good Lord it's just eyebrows and they'll grow back.

    Now I have to do upper lip and neck and some other odd spots

    menopause sucks!

    I'd love a waxing next time you're in town ;)
    doesn't that sound like something Mae West would say!?

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  25. Evening Akelamalu~

    You're SMART, dear lady. Because if YOU have a way of doing them yourself...that's excellent!!

    Eyebrow shape is very important because they frame our eyes, so they have to be "just right."

    Tweezing is actually the best way to shape the brows.

    Thanks for sharing, my friend!

    Enjoy your evening!

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  26. Helloooo Dianne (aka Mae West)

    Oh...you killed me with your comment!!!!

    What a good sport you were about the one eyebrow being higher than the other. I'm sure the girl was SO grateful to have you as her client. It feels just awful to the operator when they screw something up!

    Hey, listen...I hear you about menopause, because last month a did a post on how men (as the get older) suddenly sprout hair in the oddest spots (like the TIPS of my ears). I look like a Gremlin!

    And I call that...MAN-O PAUSE!

    GREAT seeing ya, Dianne!

    P.S. Next time I'm in Jersey...it's a date!

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  27. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OUCH!

    I actually got a stitch from laughing so hard!

    BTW Ronnie I LOVE the new look! xx

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  28. Morning Giggle~

    TEEHEETEEHEETEEHEE!

    rrrrrip!

    Thanks for noticing the changes. I've been experimenting with the template code and having FUN!!

    Thanks for stopping by, dear one!

    Great seeing ya!

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  29. Ow!! This is funny Ron!!
    Several years ago, I discovered that waxing my brows is way easier and less painful than tweezing. I do it myself at home all the time.
    Last week though, I had different waxing experience. I tried giving myself a bikini wax.
    It sucked really bad. Apparently, I do not know the proper technique for waxing other areas of the body. The strip came off but the wax stayed on....for days. I have some special finishing oil that normally removes the wax residue when I do my brows, but this must have been too much wax for the oil to handle. My pants and underwear were stuck to the wax....it was a mess. I will never do that again.

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  30. HOLY COW NICOLE!!!

    I've actually had that happen to me while I was waxing a clients facial area once!!!

    Damn...and what a royal pain in the TUSH that was, trying to get the freaking wax off!

    WOW...but for a bikini wax...I bet it was an evern bigger pain.

    I think it has to do with getting the wax temp. just right!

    And you're absolutely right...waxing is so less painful than tweezing. One good RIP...and it's over!

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