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Let me start off by saying, that the only reason I had my camera with me in the men’s room was because it was intentional.

Because believe it or not, I actually planned to walk around the city today and take pictures of the décor in men’s public restrooms for this post.

Now I can’t tell you WHICH public restroom this is, but let’s just say that it was located in a very nice store within Center City.

Also, please excuse the “blurriness” in two of these photos, but I took them in a hurry because I didn’t want to get caught and god forbid have anyone think I was some sort of FREAK taking pictures in the men’s room.

Now ladies, I don’t know how it is in women’s public restrooms, but the men’s rooms are usually FILTHY.

Filthy LOOKING and filthy SMELLING.

(sort of like a sanitation truck)

Let's begin our tour...





The first photo you see here is of the toilette. Notice the stream of toilet paper lying on the floor. This is something you see a great deal of in men’s rooms.

I often wonder why this is, other than the possibility that some men enjoy practicing their Olympic ribbon-dancing while they pee, by using the toilet paper. Fine gentlemen, PRACTICE…but could you please have the decency to FLUSH it after you’re done rehearsing, so that the next person doesn’t get the paper undoubtedly STUCK to their shoe and then carry it around all day looking like a total NERD; having people laugh at them.

Thank you!

I also find that somehow, a public restroom brings out the “narcissistic artist” in some men, because you see a awful lot of penis graffiti.

Let’s take a look at a few, shall we…





Here we have a lovely Monet of what seems to be either a penis missile or a giraffe-mobile. Notice how this creative artist added those few “action strokes” to the gonad area, to make it appear as though it was moving.

VERY talented.

I give this piece 5 Stars for being diverse.





Next, we have a striking Picasso, which seems to be a penis-gun with freckles.

Notice again, how this artist added the “action stokes” for movement.

(I guess this means that both these guys must be pretty “quick” in the pistol department)

I also spotted some writing above this piece, but couldn’t quite make out the language. Maybe genitalia hieroglyphics?

I give this piece 4 Stars, because I took one point off for copying.



I often wonder how this penis graffiti happens. I mean, do these men suddenly decide while taking a wee-wee, that they want to draw a picture of their manhood, and then whip out their Sharpie’s to show it off to the world?

And if that’s the case…I seriously think they need to make these drawings much BIGGER.

Because sorry to say gentlemen…you’re not very impressive.




32 comments:

  1. *snickering*

    *tearing off streamers of toilet paper and tossing*

    *chuckling*

    *taking out sharpie and checking for witnesses*

    *scribbling and scrawling*

    .....little does Ron know......



    *chuckling uncontrollably*

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  2. Hmmmm.....
    I'm getting turned on in the paper isle at my local craft shop, and you are photographing Philadelphia's finest bathroom penis art.
    Should we seek help for these things???? I'm starting to worry about us.

    Actually, I was really just happy to get a good laugh this morning!
    This is funny stuff. I don't know what goes on in someone's mind that they feel the need to doodle private parts in public bathrooms. And if advertising, they SHOULD make them bigger and include a phone number atleast. Use the toilet stall as a free dating service or something. LOL

    I can tell you that ladies rooms are NO better! It's like all these lovely groomed women turn into disgusting pigs when they are out. At home, they maintain these strict rules. If they are married or living with a man they probably reprimand them constantly for leaving the seat up and of course teaching their kids to wash their hands and pick up after themselves. And then they go into a public bathroom and pee all over the freaking seat. I do not have a penis so I do not stand to pee. And what this squatting thing is
    the gals do is beyond me. I must sit down. So this means that first I have to wrap half the roll of toilet paper around my hand so I can clean off the seat. And if there is no paper cover to be had I've probably got to re-wipe, just to be sure I'm not going to get a wet ass from some cat in heat that was in there before me, spraying every.freaking.inch of the seat.
    Ladies, please, tinkle lightly. It's like they held it in ALL day and then flew into the bathroom and just exploded. And yes, sometimes they do 'other' business and don't flush. Or atleast it doesn't always go down. Eww, ick, bleh!
    And the sink area. More eeewwies. Water EVERYWHERE. So forget there being a place to sit your purse while you're washing the wretched germs from your hands.
    The ladies room is a juggling act. You tiptoe in because like the men's room, there is paper on the floor, sometimes the latches don't work and if there's no hook on the door for the purse you've got to either hold it, or balance it on top of the toilet paper dispenser.
    And OH please, the little 'personal item' trash can inside the stall is sometimes disgusting too. Hey bitches, first you need to wrap the bloody thing. You disease spreading whores. Then, you need to shut the trash can lid. Dirty pigs.

    Ooh, that felt good. Sure love a good Vent. :)

    Now I'm off to find a ladies room to photograph and if there's a nasty tramp in there making a mess I just might have to bitch slap her a few times and maybe bang her coiffed head into the tampax dispenser. It's time to take a stand and demand better personal hygiene from the general public!
    Wish me luck.....

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  3. OMG!
    Okay, just have to share this, cause i know you will so enjoy!
    Me and my little one were at the car parts store. ( don't start, I had to replace my front Axle.) She decides she has to go, and has to go NOW! So I get back to the bathrooms, and the ladies door is locked,some one is using it. She is jumping from foot to foot. So I walk over and peek in the mens room.
    DAMN!
    there was toilet paper all over the floor, and piss, and cigarette buts, it smelled so bad , one tiny wiff and my eyes were watering, there were paper towels wadded up in the sink, truly the grossest thing i have ever seen.
    When the ladies room door opens and out walks a man!!!!
    My daughter freaks!"isn't that for the girls???!" the man gives me a dirty look, and I drag her into the bathroom. Then I drag her out and I shout across the store" If your gonna use the LADIES ROOM THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS FLUSH!" we walked across the street to McDonalds.
    Can you say "EWWWWW?"

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  4. Shudder. It's a s though they have no respect for the fact that it is a public place, and should be clean and neat and graffitti-free. Gross !

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  5. Mornin' Mel~

    OMG...for heavens sake, don't tell me you do this in the ladies room???

    Ok, wait...I'll admitt it...

    I HAVE tried the "ribbon-dancing".

    (but only when I'm absolutely SURE no one else in the restroom)

    Hey....have you ever tried using some of that colored chalk on the wall??? I bet it would look REALLY nice. Probably like a REAL Monet!

    Thanks for stopping by, Mel!

    You always make me *chuckle*

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  6. Hellooo Annie~

    I know...I often wonder sometimes what some people's bathrooms look like at home!?

    I've also been in places (like certain nice restaurants) where the bathrooms are wonderful. I guess it's all about how often they keep up with them. But it's the WRITING on the walls that get's me.

    Oh well...I guess it's "freedom of speech!"

    Ha!

    Great seeing ya, Annie!

    I hope your having a wonderful summer. My god...it's almost AUGUST!

    Yeepe...Fall is getting closer!

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  7. HOLY SHIT, Lady Sorrow....

    That was HYSTERICAL!!!!!

    SEE!!!! What did I tell you about the men's room??? And even another MAN found it unbearable to use!!!

    Yea....Yea....and that's ANOTHER THING....

    Half the time I go into a public restroom, the toilets are NEVER, EVER flushed. And I'm not just talking about pee either! I mean, for heavens sake, if someone doesn't want to use their hand to flush it...use your damn foot!

    And if you noticed lately...some public restrooms have that "automatic flush thing" on the toilets!

    Thank god!

    Well...sorry you had to witness a gross men's room, dear lady...

    But damn...that was a GREAT story!!!

    Annd much thanks for sharing it!!

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  8. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    OMG I've missed you!!!!!!

    This has GOT to be the most hilarious yet!!!

    I can just imagine you dashing around with your little spy camera! TOOOOOO FunnY!!!!


    Btw HELLO :-)

    I'm just at Mums, and popping on to say g'day to everyone, I haven't got time to catch up on all posts but I shall as soon as I get the internet back up and running!!! :-) xx

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  9. Wow, Ron. I didn't even know that bathroom graffiti exsisted outside of junior high schools. And what creativeness these guys have shown. Wow, I am blown away!!! (can you sense my sarcasm?)

    Seriously though, in a women's restroom, you'd be likely to find the TP on the floor and even more likely to find pee on every toilet seat. This is because women do the squat and pee thing, but never wipe off the seat when they are done. Ick!!

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  10. Mornin' Crystal Chick~

    Wonderful Vent!!!

    Feel free...let it out!!

    That was FUNNY, M!

    I KNOW...aren't we INSANE???

    It's amazing how having a blog, will cause you to come up with the most "unusual" material!

    Oh, who cares...it's so MUCH damn fun, isn't it?

    OMG...and you mentioned "advertising" and "phone numbers"...you see THEY were on the wall too, but I didn't want to expose anyones phone number online.

    (come to think of it...I bet they would have been GLAD I did that)

    Actually, I have heard of friend of mine say on occassion, that she's walked into a ladies public restroom and found it dirty too.

    Maybe it's the fact that it's PUBLIC and we know we don't have to clean it.

    But even for me, if I accidentally tinkle on the seat, I will at least wipe it so the next guy doesn't have to witness it.

    And I'm sorry, but I have this "thing" about doing #2 in a public restroom....NO WAY! I've actually left work on occassion, and came home to do it.

    (not unless the bathroom is a SEPARATE room with a door and I don't mean a stall either)

    Just can't do it.

    But I wonder about the DRAWINGS on the walls, do the ladies rooms contain that?

    Anyway, M....thanks for your wonderful vent!

    I totally enjoyed it!!!

    And if you take any photo's of the loo...let me know!

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  11. OMG Giggle...YOU have been on my mind SO MUCH lately, so I'm SOOOOOO glad you stopped by to say hello!!

    HELLO!!!

    I've missed you too, dear one!

    I hope all is going well in the "baby department" and that you're resting and taking good care of yourself.

    So glad you enjoyed the post!

    Thank you again for stopping by, Giggle. That made me so HAPPY!

    Have an awesome day!

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  12. Hey Nicole!

    YES...I just found out from Crystal Chick that the ladies room can be "icky" too!

    OMG...I can't believe you mentioned Junior High School, because I DO remember the graffiti now.

    Glad you appreciated the "artist expression" of these glorious pieces.

    I think they should be in a museum, don't you??

    tee, hee!

    GREAT seeing ya, Nicole.

    Thanks for stopping by today!

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  13. I'd drop dead from fright if some guy whipped his junk out and it looked like either of those pictures! Damn! They make me wonder if the "artists" have actually SEEN a penis!

    FYI, in my vast experience with public "ladies" rooms (2 pregnancies and menopause) they are more disgustingly dirty than the men's rooms I've visited (pee emergencies). Women can be absolute pigs. The all time cleanest ladies rooms are in Nordstrom's. Divine.

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  14. Oh Miss Nitebyrd...your humor always makes me realize that you and I were destine to be blogging buddies!

    Aren't they the most UNUSUAL pee pee's you've EVER seen?

    Hey...I'm finding out more and more through this post, that the ladies loo can be similar to the men's loo!

    And I have a secret....

    I too have used the "other gender's" bathroom on occassion. Look, when you gotta go....you gotta go. And any comode will do! But in all honesty, the ladies room did seem much cleaner and fresher.

    Lucky me, I guess!

    Hey...and aren't the REALLY nice department store bathrooms the BOMB? I use to shop at the Saks in Orlando, and I must say...it was always meticulous!

    However, city bathrooms (in most of the department store here) are pretty SORRY. I think it's all the street traffic.

    Mucho grassy for sharing a great LAUGH with me, dear lady!

    Enjoy your Wednesday!

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  15. ron: Um...I have seen women restrooms that would make you puke. Like I ran out of one Taco Bell womens's restroom...it was gross.

    Thank God at my work place I don't have to go to the "REGULAR" restrooms. I go to the executive restrooms and they are spotless.

    Once Cindy and I were in at night covering Saturday...someone needs to baby-sit, you know. Anyway it was our turn...we went down the hall way...made a left...through the big doors and into the regular women's restroom. It was as bad as we had heard. The stalls even had telephone numbers and poems...who was screwing who, thingys. One even had a vigina and a penis drawn on it. Not good art...I give it a 4.

    My friend Lewis once told me My name was in one of the stalls...For a good time call Spiky Zora at so and so number. It was totally made up number...cause I never received a call for a good time. :D

    Ciao babes...

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  16. In caveman days they drew the wooly mammoth on walls... maybe they long for the good old days?

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  17. Anndi...you KILL ME, dear lady!!!

    That was GREAT!

    Hey...and you know something???

    I bet you're right too!

    I mean,look at these two drawings...don't they look cavemanish???

    Thanks for stopping by, Anndi!

    Always a HOOT!

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  18. Evening Miss Jones....

    Ok...aren't the FAST FOOD restaurant bathrooms the WORST???

    I bet they clean them like, once a year!

    You're so lucky having an executive bathroom at work. Where I work....I will usually try and hold it in until I get home (unless it's around Christmas time and I'm working LONG hours)...then I WILL use the public bathroom in the store.

    It's not to bad...but still GROSS.

    Ok...I'm glad you told me that you've seen the "writing stuff" on the ladies restroom walls, because I honestly thought it was just in the men's room. And I've heard from several ladies here, the women's room can be quite nasty too.

    OMG...that's too funny about your friend Lewis spotting your name and number on the wall!!!

    See...you really are the DIVINE MISS JONES!!

    Thanks for sharing, Spiky!

    Ciao bella!

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  19. the ribbon dancing comment is priceless!

    perhaps some men have Sharpies installed into their penis as a sign of dedication to wall art - uh - wall crap!?

    In my experience a ladies room isn't much better although there is less art.

    My pet peeve about the ladies room is all the pools of water on the sinks. Come on girls - are you even afraid to touch the water!? Get over it!

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  20. That 2nd graffiti looks quite Basquiat to me...

    TRES artistique

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  21. Howdy Dianne!

    OMG...and I was JUST practicing my "ribbon-dancing" for the next Olympics, when you commented!

    Thanks...I needed a break!

    Anyway....I think you're right about the installed Sharpies. Such a lovely art, isn't it?

    Yes, several ladies here have mentioned the condition of the women's public restroom as well. Ya know, I think because it's PUBLIC...maybe both men and women think, "What the hell...it ain't MY bathroom, so I don't have to clean it!"

    And YES!!! The men's room get those POOLS of water too. And I love how when you lean up against the sink...the ENTIRE front of your pants gets wet!!!

    OY!

    Thanks for stopping by, Dianne!

    Ok...now I better get back to my "ribbon-dancing."

    one, two, three....one, two, three...

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  22. Greetings Gledwood!

    Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment!

    You know something????

    You are SOOOOO right about the second one looking like Basquiat!!!! Damn...I didn't even think of that!

    Good eye, man!

    Hey, I just made a quick stop over to visit your blog(s) and I will be returning. You've got a lot of interesting things to read! I've actually seen your wonderful avatar around at some of the blogs I frequent. I really love hamsters!

    Nice meeting you, stop back anytime!

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  23. I loved this...I can't believe you went in there with you camera!! hee, hee.

    I don't have time to read all the comments (I plan to come back)so forgive me if someone already said this.

    Why is that women take forever in the bathrooms and men seldom have a line?? I was in a restroom that moved along quickly..the difference NO MIRRORS.

    Be careful in your undercover work..oops no pun intended.

    Love Ya!

    ~gypsy-heart

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  24. Evening Dearest Gypsy-Heart~

    tee, hee!

    Thank you so much for mentioning how the lines waiting to use the ladies room seem to move slower than the men's.

    I've often thought about this, and thought maybe it's because women have more clothing things to remove!!?

    I mean, the only thing men have to do, is unzip, whip it out and PEE!

    But what you said about mirrors might be true too. Maybe because of checking the hair and make up!?

    Although, I've seen a few guys, PRIMPING too!

    aaahhh....isn't so interesting talking about public bathroom habits????

    God love ya, woman!

    Always GREAT sharing with you, dear Gypsy!

    Love Ya!

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  25. YUK!

    I have to tell you all the toilets in the restaurants in Kefalonia were really clean. The only thing is you can't put your toilet paper in the toilet you have to put it in a bin!

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  26. OMG, Akelamalu...

    In a BIN????

    Oh, well....at least the toilette's are CLEAN!!

    Did you take any pictures??

    tee, hee!

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  27. OMG you are freaking funny as hell. New to your blog, now a stalker

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  28. Hiya Just a Girl~

    Thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment.

    That's very nice of you!

    So glad you got a GIGGLE!

    (I did too, when I saw the size of those pee-pee's)

    HA!

    You can stalk anytime you like, it's a pleasure meeting and having you here!

    Enjoy your weekend!

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  29. You'd think they could come up with something more original to draw in the men's room than the usual phallic symbols, sheesh!!

    Hilarious post though. Love the photos and analysis.

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  30. Howdy Rhea!

    OMG...I was thinking about you today!!!

    GREAT seeing ya!

    I know...arn't the phallic symbols disgusting?

    And SMALL too!

    Thanks for enjoying, Rhea...and thanks for stopping by this evening!

    Hope you had a great weekend!

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  31. OMG! That's HILARIOUS!!! I never knew that you could find that type of art in a men's bathroom.... Wonder what it all means?! Anyhow... it keep me very amused while reading this post... heheheh!
    One time at a coffee shop I frequented in San Diego.. a girl came out of the bathroom with the back of her skirt stuffed up in her stockings...YIKKKESSS!!!!

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  32. Bonjour Leesa

    OMG...I TOTALLY forgot about this post!!!!

    Can you believe how SICK I was do write this???

    I guess I was DESPERATE for a post!!!

    HAHAAHA!

    And YES...this is the type of stuff you see in the mens room all the time! Maybe it's different in Europe, but here in the States...the mens rooms are FILLED with Penis Graffiti!

    It's so LOVELY!

    So glad you had a giggle, my friend!

    And thanks for stopping by for a read!
    XO

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