Tinkle Sprinkle....

Having lived in both New York City and Philadelphia, I’ve witnessed just about everything.

By “everything” I mean things that are unusual…and even a little bazaar.


I was beginning to think that I was “shock-proof” and no longer affected by life in a city.

Until today….

I enjoy spending almost every Sunday afternoon in what I feel, is one of the most enjoyable parks in Philly. It’s located within the oldest and most historical part of the city. It’s more of a residential park, where you see parents with their children, and dog owners walking their pooches. It’s a very relaxed park and not too terribly crowded.

I go there each weekend to spend some time within nature, and to also feed the squirrels.

Today I did what I pretty much do, any other Sunday…

I spread out my blanket, got my portable CD player going, and then proceeded to feed my fuzzy friends.

Let me interject here, that being a city, the parks also include many of the homeless people who enjoy taking naps on the surrounding park benches. I honestly don’t have a problem with this, because to me, they have just as much right to enjoy the parks as anyone else.

Anyway, about 15 minutes into my own enjoyment, I noticed a homeless man who was napping on a bench, which was about 15 feet away from me, get up and walk to the trash can that was next the bench.

I continued to feed the squirrels, when suddenly my eyes caught a motion from this gentleman, which made me freeze-frame….

I watched as this carefree individual opened his fly, reach inside his office and whipped out his BINKY.

(actually, it wasn’t a binky…it was more like a FIRE HOSE)

He then proceeded to empty his bladder all over the trash can, like some caveman from the prehistoric days.

I sat there with my eyes wide open, and my mouth to the floor. I literally couldn’t move.

(even the squirrels stopped eating and watched)

And the most attractive part, was that his bladder fluid was gushing down the side of the trash can like Niagara Falls, and then all across the sidewalk where people walk. And thank God at the time, no one was passing by him.

(because they would have needed a life boat)

When he completed his copious void, he shook his binky as if it was a lasso, and then threw it back into his office, zipped up the fly, and then went back to his nap.

And I thought, “How RUDE…..he didn’t even remember to wash his hands before he left the bathroom.”


28 comments

  1. OMG!!!! And to think we were just in Philly, sitting on a park bench, watching different people walk by. One was very, uh, disheveled in appearance. Had on surgical type pants with the waist part rolled down under the belly and I thought OH god, hopefully they won't fall off. No shirt. He wandered past us talking to his invisible friend and then stopped two benches up to chat with the people sitting there.
    The City sure is an interesting place.
    What park do you go to? We were in Rittenhouse Square after a late lunch at Pietro's brick oven pizza and then some Starbucks. It was nice!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ew, Ew, and Ew!!!!
    Damn that is nasty!
    I don't have a whole lot of experience with homeless people considering that I live in a rural area....you just don't see that here. So I don't know how I would have handled that Ron. Probably like you, just sat there with my mouth hanging open.
    Wow, that is so bizarre.
    Do they not have public restrooms in Philly or do the business's try to keep the homeless folk out for the most part?

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Binky"?!

    k.....LOL.....I've now expanded my vocabulary AGAIN.

    *shaking head and chuckling*

    I'd say only in Philly....but gosh, even *I* know that's not true!

    At least the squirrels got some quality time with you? ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. That's really gross. Talk about inconsiderate, because some poor unsuspecting soul will walk on that sidewalk. ICK !

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hmmm..that would certainly put a "damper" on a lovely afternoon. :O

    You know that saying, you never know who is watching you? Well, several times when on Drayton Island a boat idles in near the shore so some gentleman can relieve himself. I know they assume they are hidden there..but one should never assume that!! We left the plant life along the bluff, but just beyond that area unbeknownst to them is a well traveled path! eh,eh,eh

    I hope you had a lovely holiday weekend.

    LY!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Mornin' Crystal Chick...

    YES...I just read your last two posts on my reader, and found out you were in Philly this weekend!

    Don't ya just LOVE the characters you see walking around the city?

    God...if you actually lived here, day in and day out...you'd get to see some of the regulars!!!

    I know I'm weird...but I really enjoy the bazaarness of a city.

    Yes...I know exactly where Pietro's is, but have never eaten there because everytime I've gone, the waiting line is just TOOOO long. I hear the pizza is FABU. And I LOVE Pizza!!!

    I used to be a HUGE Rittenhouse Park sitter, until I started investigating the oldest part of Philly. It's absolutely breathtaking! The park I go to is quieter and less touristy.

    ooooh....and don't ya' just LOVE Starbucks's coffee??? It's SOOOO strong and lethal!

    GREAT seeing ya, M!

    Thanks for stopping by today.

    Glad to hear you had a wonderful holiday weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Good Mornin' Nicole....

    EEEWWWWWW is right!

    AND I THOUGHT I'D SEEN EVERYTHING!?!?!

    But the craziest part, was that I kept making mental and visual notes, because I KNEW it was something I would BLOG about when I got home!!!

    That's the thing about city life...

    It's strange, bazaar, and shocking at times...but there's a part of me that REALLY enjoys it! New York City is the same way...only on a much LARGER scale.

    No...there aren't any public restrooms in the city. And YES...the reason being, is that restaurants and reatail stores don't want people just coming into their businesses, simply to use the restrooms. Many of the restrooms are locked, and you have to use ask for a key to get in. This was something that took me a while to get use to, moving back to a city. City life is VERY different. Some of the things I ENJOY...and other things I do NOT. But no place is perfect, ya know?

    I thought of you when I wrote this post because I was reminded of your post way back, about guys peeing outdoors.

    tee, hee!

    Thanks for droppin' in on this Monday morning, Nicole!

    Have a great rest of your day!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Greetings Mel....

    BINKY...

    I don't know where the hell I came up with that term?!?!?

    One day it just sort of POPPED into my head...?

    Hey...I took more photos of the squirrels yesterday, and one of these days...I'll post them.

    BOY...were they aggressive!!!

    Normally, they RUN when the pigeons fly down.

    But, YESTERDAY???

    They were like, "GET BACK, JACK!"

    Thanks for poppin' in, Mel!

    Enjoy your Monday, dear lady!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Morning Annie!!!

    Great seeing ya!

    I know...city life can be VERY raw and freakish at times.

    However, I guess I am too...cause I'm still HERE?!?!?

    tee, hee...

    I felt like I needed to place one of those yellow cone-warning things...

    CAUTION...WET FLOOR!

    Thanks for dropping in, Annie!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Morning Dear Gypsy-Heart...

    HAHAHAHAHA!!

    That is TOOO funny!!!

    What I was actaully thinking when this guy was doing this was, "Why the hell doesn't he find a place more private to do that (like a behind a bush or something)? But then (such as you mentioned about plant life). I had a second thought, "Well at least he's not killing anything!?!"

    tee...hee!

    Hey...if you ever get to Philly, I have a feeling you would LOVE all the interesting suff to look at!

    Many artists sit in the park and paint. I really enjoy watching them!

    Thanks for stopping by, dear Gypsy!

    Have a great day on the island!

    ReplyDelete
  11. In the trash can? How interesting. Behind a tree, I've seen, behind a bush, I've seen, but not IN a trash can...and obviously not good aim either. Wow, that must have been shocking...and takes away a little from your nice nature moment. ick.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Howdy Rhea...

    My thoughts EXACTLY!

    That's what shocked me the most...he did it in BROAD view

    I mean...go behind a tree!

    (besides me and the squirrels, I don't think anyone else saw it)

    Oh well...when I saw it I thought, "This is my next post!"

    City life...

    ALWAYS interesting!

    Thanks for stopping by, Rhea!

    I hope your having a GRAND day!

    ReplyDelete
  13. "even the squirrels stopped to watch" - that killed me!!

    I've never seen trash can peeing but being from NYC I'm sure it was happening while I was weaving between taxis trying to kill me or pushing tourists out of the way to get down 5th Avenue.

    Now - if he sat down on the can to take a dump - that I would have noticed.

    You develop blinders and sensory safety nets very quickly in the city.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ummm, ewwwwwwwwwwww!

    I changed my blog. I didn't have your email on hand to give you the new link. It's www.bekster1976.wordpress.com

    Hope to see you over there.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Good grief, some people just don't care do they?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Helloooo Dianne!

    This is too funny...because, right before I got online to check my comments, I was thinking about you and...there you were!

    So GREAT seeing ya!

    Yes...YOU, being from NYC know EXACTLY what I'm talking about!

    After living in a city...you DO develop blinders and sensory safety nets!!

    I thought I was SHOCK PROOFED..but who knew???

    The poor little squirrels were probably emotionally scarred for life!

    Thanks for stopping by, Dianne. It's always a JOY!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hey Bekah!

    Ok...I'll change your link on my blogroll and be over to visit ya, tonight!

    Can't wait to see your new blog!!!

    Thanks for dropping by!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Evening Akelamalu!

    No...they don't.

    And even for ME (who has seen some pretty BAZAAR stuff) I was SHOCKED!

    TINKLE MAN!

    I'll never be the same AGAIN!

    tee, hee!

    Thanks for stopping by, my friend!

    Enjoy your evening!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Another sad reminder of how destitute and unaware these poor people can be. Makes me wonder what his life has been like to bring him to a place where he obviously just doesn't care anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Ola Jeff!

    It amazes me the amount of homeless we have here in Philly.

    (although I've heard that San Francisco has the most in the US)

    I used to volunteer at a hospice for homeless men, giving haircuts once a week. And the stories that these guys would share with me about HOW they got to be in this situation, always blew me away.

    I guess they eventually get to the point, where they simply stop caring.

    Thanks for stopping by tonight, buddy.

    It's always GREAT sharing with you!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hi Nica!

    OH MY...

    tee, hee.

    You're so funny!

    I know...life in the city can be quite shocking!

    Even for me!

    Thanks for stopping by tonight, Nica!

    Always a pleasure!

    P.S. watch out for those city park trash cans!

    ReplyDelete
  22. YUCK! Although, this happened to me and my daughter in NYC. Guy just walking along in front of us, stops, whips it out and pees up against a wall! My daughter, a germaphobe, nearly fainted as the urine snaked down the sidewalk. She did an Olympic worthy standing broad jump over it! Who says they've cleaned up Times Square? LOL

    ReplyDelete
  23. Mornin' Miss Red Head Nitebyrd!

    That's RIGHT...I keep forgetting you're a NY girl!!!!

    OMG...your daughter must have DIED!!

    There something so raw and blatant about the cities in the north-east isn't there?

    I guess that's why I LOVE them!!

    I think everyone should live in NYC for a least a month, to experience a part of life.

    Because even with all it's insanity...it's still the most FASCINATING place I've ever lived.

    ALWAYS great seeing ya, Nitebyrd!

    Thanks for stopping by!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. At least he didn't use the mailbox...

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hi Anndi!

    You KILL me, girl!

    And you're RIGHT!

    At least he was DISCERNING about where he let go.

    Better on the trash...than the U.S. Mail!

    Thanks for stopping by, Anndi!

    Enjoy your evening!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Ha...he didn't even remember to wash his hands afterwards. How many times have you been to a public restroom and saw someone walk out of the stall...pass the sinks and walk out the door.

    I looked towards my beautiful girl and said...That was a kitchen employee, maybe we shouldn't eat here. We didn't. hehehe

    when I was a police woman we took a crusty looking older man to jail. he was drunk and had a weapon...a kinife. We took the knife from him. Broke it on a nearby telephone post and took him in for public drunk. Anyway...at the cell before we walk inside for booking he grabbed hold of the jail bars and pee'd all over the place and we couldn't pull him free...he held on to those bars like it was his last wine bottle...at least till he was done.

    Who's gonna clean this up? Not me! I have people to protect...I'm out of here. Book em Danno.

    Thank god thaat guy at your park only had to go take a wiz. I can just imagine what he would do if he had #2 to do. EWWWWW!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hey Miss Jones...

    OMG...OMG...I cannot BELIEVE what you just told me here!!!!

    HOLY COW!!!!

    THAT make my incident look TAME!

    Book em DANNO is RIGHT!

    GOOD FOR YOU! There's no freaking WAY I would have cleaned that up!

    I'm sure being on the police force, you've seen TONS of stuff! I look at some of the things the policemen and policewomen have to deal with in this city and I think, "GOD BLESS THEM!"

    And YES...how many times do I see someone walk out of a bathroom and NOT wash their hands???

    A LOT!

    EWWWWW! Especially a restaurant employee!!

    EEEE GADS!

    I LOVE your stories, Spiky!!!

    They're always so interesting!

    THANKS, THANKS, THANKS for sharing!!

    Ciao bella

    ReplyDelete