Change


Today I thought I share about change…and what it means for me.

I’ve always been one of those people who enjoys change, yet at the same time…fears it.

I fear it, because with change, I don’t ever know what’s ahead.

Change involves the disruption of what is familiar and comfortable.

(and that can be scary)

It involves “letting go” of something; making space for a new experience.

The type of change I‘m talking about on this post, are changes which involve choices that “I” may make, such as: relocating my residence, or taking a new job, or even choosing to know when it’s time to end a relationship.

If I should make a choice to change something…I quite often obsess over whether it's the RIGHT choice.

(which is something I still struggle with)

And yet, I’ve discovered that there is no real “right choice.” It’s just a choice, which will take me to another experience.

I know this to be true for myself, because I’ve made changes in my life, when it first appeared that it was not the “perfect” choice, and yet I was still able to learn something and grow from it. So in a way, it WAS perfect.

This is why I personally don’t believe in mistakes.

For me, the most frightening thing about change, is that it puts me in a position of feeling out of control.

And I’d like to think that I’m in total control of everything in my life, because it gives me a feeling of safety and security.

Change involves my willingness to give up control; abandoning what I know…and feeling temporarily vulnerable.

The time I spent as an actor performing live on stage, has taught me the most about change.

Acting onstage is a great example of change.

The lines (or dialog) that an actor speaks on stage each evening, ARE the same, but everything else changes with each unique performance, because LIVE means performing in the moment…and moments change.

Performing live, ironically involves the dichotomy of “sameness” and yet at the same time…surrendering to something “different.”

It constantly tested my willingness to “let go”…and see what happens.

Acting in the theater is very much like my life.

I keep some of my sameness…yet try to leave myself open to change.

No doubt about it…change can be scary.

But hey, one of my favorite holidays….is Halloween!



Boo!


30 comments

  1. I could have written this ... except for the performing part since I've never done that.

    Excellent explanation of what it means to be a Libra.

    I've made drastic changes in my life and it did take me forever to weigh the pros and cons. Giving up control and launching into the unknown has been an issue for me as well. I don't like feeling like I've jumped out of a plane not knowing if my parachute will work or if I'll end up flattened like a pancake.

    Wait.. change makes you look thin?

    There might be something there.....

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  2. I am the same way.... enjoying change but fearing it at the same time.
    For me I guess getting older is the hardest part. Seeing physical changes in myself. I don't like that so much at all. But still it happens. I color my hair, the gray comes back. ETC. LOL So trying to realize all the things that come with aging, seeing my kids grow, becoming a Mimi (and OMG, he's saying GAM-MOM for now but you KNOW when he learns those ME sounds it's right back to MIMI!!) and watching a new little person on the journey, learning new things myself, hopefully gaining some wisdom, all that is cool.
    I'm incredibly drawn toward very eclectic things. Other countries, foreign cultures, certain foods, decorations, religions. There's a blog I read about Marrakesh that is just fabulous. Italy is another place that I just love. When I saw the movie Under the Tuscan Sun, I thought, how neat. Just going to another country. Starting a life there. But having never been to either of those places how would I ever know what life is really like somewhere else. Seeing the nicest pictures and reading the best stories doesn't provide the whole picture.
    Since I was born, I've only ever lived in small towns of Southern New Jersey. It's all very comfortable and familiar and I don't seriously think I could ever move. But I dream of those other places all the time. Not likely that hubby's job will ever take him to another country.... hmmm... would the Saudi Prince need some rooms in his palace painted?? LOL
    I guess looking at it from an astrological perspective, my Sag sun is what makes me interested in travel but my Cancer moon keeps me around what is homey and familiar.
    My Venus in Libra in the 9th house gives me a love of worldly things, foreign stuff, finding beauty in far away places, ETC. But my Saturn in the 1st keeps me very tied to my responsibilities, makes me self conscious. And so on....
    Isn't that neat.

    I would think you were a really good actor. You are very kind and expressive and I think it would be fairly easy for you to put yourself into many different roles. So while parts of it must have been difficult, the change of the audience, etc. being able to let go allowed you to be successful.

    I can't believe Halloween is almost here. Talk about how things change. Wasn't it just Spring??

    Enjoy this glorious day!!!

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  3. Heehee! I LOVE HALLOWEEN!

    I SO know what ya mean Ronnie and I am very much the same!

    Like when I wanna try something different at my favourite restarant!!! But everytime I go there I order the SAME meal everytime because I'm terrified of trying something new!!! LOL (That's a bit stupid really!)

    Hey! I don't know if you saw it but in my second last post I posted a piccy of my baby bump! (I got so excited about Trubs baby I had to post about it so my last post didn't really get much chance to be seen LOL)

    But I thought you might be interested to see a fat lil Giggle so I'd thought I'd let ya know!

    :-) Heeeeheeee xx

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  4. Hi ~ I apologize if this is a duplicate - I just wrote a really long comment but I don't know where it went so...here goes: I can totally relate to this post. Change is hard but change is necessary. Change can be scary, change can be postive, change can be fun. I always feel empowered when I face change head-on ! And sometimes I hide under the sheets! :)

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  5. Oh Anndi...I so enjoy your BRILLIANT wit!!!!

    God, you always make me laugh!!

    I LOVE what you shared about feeling as though it's like jumping out of a plane without a parachute!

    That's a GREAT analogy, because that's what it truly can feel like!!

    I remember a period when my life when I was going though tremendous change. It was scary as shit. And I told a friend of mine, that it felt as though I had jumped over an abyss, and was suspended there. And yet miraculously, I didn't fall!

    That was one of those times when I thought I had made a "wrong choice"...but eventually, I saw that it was a time that I needed to go through, in order to TRUST change.

    Thanks SO much for sharing your feelings and thoughts on this post, my Libra friend!!!

    Because I know that you KNOW!

    Have an awesome day, Anndi!

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  6. Good Morning Crystal Chick!

    You always share such great stuff, M!

    Thank you!

    You've expressed a lot of things here that are TRUE for me, as well!

    Change can be a scary-ass thing at times, but I've learned that my life is constantly moving forward, and if I'm not willing to move (change) with it, then I'm standing still. I've come to my own personal understanding, that I would much rather make a choice to change, then wonder about it.

    Change for me, takes a certain about of consciousness, but also the willingness to know that not everything will be immediately revealed to me.

    And being a LIBRA..that's some tough SHIT!!!

    HA!

    I'm so grateful for what the theater has taught me. It really gave me some wonderful "life tools."

    As always, I thank you for stopping by, M!

    OMG, OMG, OMG...is not the weather today freaking GORGEOUS?????

    I'm so excited about FALL, I could poop!!

    Enjoy the day, M!

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  7. I love change. I adore it. I worship it.

    If it didn't disrupt my daughter's life so much, I'd move every couple of years. I love it that much.

    I love the newness that comes with change. The anticipation of something different than what I've experienced or seen or felt before.

    On the flip side, I like SOME stability.

    But not much.

    I love the photo. That's priceless!

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  8. Morning Giggles!!!

    OMG...you're a freaking RIOT!!!

    But I DO what you mean about change, and trying some different even as far as FOOD is concerned.

    ME too!

    Sometimes when I'm grocery shopping, I'll purposely make myself try something new, just so I can step out of my "comfort zone" and leave myself open.

    And it's these "little things" that get me in the practice of change, ya know?

    There are still the "staples" that I enjoy about eating...but I think myself, "Shit Ron...it's only food for heaven's sake...TRY somthing different!!!"

    HA!

    oooh..ooooh...yes I DID miss that post about the baby bump! Later this evening, after work...I will definately be by to read, thought. Thanks for letting me know!

    And thank you for stopping by, dear one!

    You always bring sunshine!

    Enjoy your day!

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  9. Good Morning Debi!

    So sorry about losing the previous comment!?!?

    Sometimes Blogger does that, and it's a pain in the ass. So thank you for taking the time to rewrite your comment.

    Yes...for me too, Debi!

    Change is necessary. And, yes...it can be scary, I totally agree, but like you shared, it can also be so much FUN!!!

    Change is learning.

    And you said the "magical" word here...EMPOWERED.

    And for me, I don't mean self-empowerment...I mean empowerment to LET GO and TRUST change.

    It's FREEING!!

    But I too, find myself sometimes, hiding under the sheets!!!

    HA!

    Thanks so much for sharing your insight on Change, Debi!

    You've added MUCH to this post!

    Hope you're having a MAVILOUS day!

    P.S. I got your email and replied. Hope you got it.

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  10. Good Morning Mama Dawg!

    OMG...I lOVED your comment...I could FEEL your excitment and joy about change!

    Good for you, girl!

    BRAVO!

    I you also shared something very wise here.

    Stability.

    It's a balance.

    Just as I shared in the closing of this post. I enjoy keeping some of the "sameness" but leave myself open for something "different."

    And it sounds like you feel that way too.

    But I'm with you...I ADORE change.

    I LOVE to learn.

    Thanks for sharing your wonderful energy with all of us, Mama Dawg!

    It's so enjoyed!

    P.S. OMG...thanks for mentioning the photo, because when I saw it, I thought the same thing...PRICELESS!!

    Boo!

    Enjoy your day!

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  11. Change
    makes me think of the David Bowie song...
    My knees knock too..
    and my heart beats so loud i feel like it will jump out of my chest..
    and then i dive.
    And it's so exhilerating..
    I am with you there my friend, at the precipices edge, Waiting for you to fly...

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  12. I don't like change at all. We all have choices to make in life so change is inevitable. However, I am a fatalist and I do believe that whatever choice or decision you make in life they all lead to your ultimate destiny, you just choose a path with different experiences. Like you I think whilst all experiences may not be good, we learn something from them all.

    A very thought provoking post Ron. I think I should have awarded you the brainy blogger award! x

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  13. No, dear, that was Deb. This is my first post here. LOL.
    DON'T look back. It's when you DO let go, are you in control. I knew in my heart, for what was best for me and my goals, that I had to let go after 5 years. I knew 'sticking it out' would've meant more years of false hope and saying 'adios' to what's left (if any) of my fertility, or to start all over to make it happen. I chose the latter. I'm strong, I'm independent, I'm going to be just fine.
    The only change I really hate is the high-turnover renter neighbor situation; as with men, I always end up with turds.
    Be strong {{{HUGS}}}

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  14. I have a hard time making decisions...I'm so indecisive because I worry over making the right choices, like you.

    I think I'm getting better about it as I get older...I think.

    When will I ever grow up?! I'm thinking it's a loooong process.

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  15. Good Evening Lady Sorrow!

    I just LOVE what you expressed here!!!

    As you mentioned the "beating of your heart" thumping through your chest...I could actually FEEL that!

    Change IS like FLYING, isn't it?

    Change is so connected to fear for me, and FEAR is yet another wonderful lesson for me.

    Change seems to bring me to that door of FEAR, and dares me to walk through it.

    Thank you SOOOO much for sharing your journey on this post, dear Sorrow!

    It's always so good to share with you!

    OK now...let's both walk to the edge...and FLY!!!

    X

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  16. Good Evening Akelamalu!

    WONDERFUL share, my friend!

    You expressed yourself so eloquently!

    And I too am a fatalist, but for me personally, I'm never quite SURE of my choices, so I just take what choices I make...and surrender that it's my destiny.

    Thanks again for sharing, dear lady!

    You've added much enlightment to this post!

    And thanks AGAIN for your award....that made my day!!!

    Enjoy your evening!

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  17. OMG...Debi!!!!

    Will I EVER get these Debbie's correct???

    God....that's FUNNY!!

    Sorry Deb...I'm a NINNY at times!?!?

    THANK YOU for sharing what you said about "letting go" and gaining control, because I TOO have found that to be true. There's tremendous power in letting go, isn't there?

    I remember sharing a personal experience with my mother once, and I told her, for as frightened as I was of the change that I was going through at the time...I also never felt so powerful.

    OMG...and you made me laugh with your closing comment about high-turnover renter rate, because that TOO happens in my apartment building a lot!! I get a really great neighbor...then POOF...they're gone!

    Such a GREAT lesson in CHANGE, isn't it?

    You ARE a strong lady, Debi...I can tell that, just from knowing you here.

    You GO, girl!

    Thanks for sharing here today, my friend!

    You've added much!

    Enjoy your evening!

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  18. Howdy Rhea!

    You said it perfectly...it's a PROCESS, that takes time. And sometimes I get impatient with my learning, wishing I were further along with it. And it's at those times, I need to remind myself about the PROCESS, because it's really never ending.

    I believe it's a journey.

    I so agree with you, that as I've gotten older, fretting about my choices has been a little less. And I think for me, it may be because as I've gotten older, I've gotten less serious.

    (god...does that make sense?!?!)

    And I also honestly believe, that there is no wrong choice for me, as long as I'm learning.

    So hey...maybe it's actually better that we don't grow up...

    I mean, we can always use the excuse that we were just TOO YOUNG...and didn't know!!

    HA!

    GOD LOVE YA, WOMAN!!!

    Thanks so much for sharing today, Rhea!

    You've touched the "fun little child" in me!

    Enjoy your evening!

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  19. (O'ahu, currently non-blogger D. here) LOL
    My little furboy and I had an adventure coming home on the bus. I think I'll save all the horrendous gory details for the premiere issue of my blog LOL. It was an adventure through hell-flames, scary demons and all, and something that could ONLY happen to me. The whole way home I sat there thinking of what I was going to say in my new blog! (and how much Ron was gonna laugh his marvelous, talented ass off when he reads it!) For tonight I think I'll just scribble down my punchlines on paper and work on it tomorrow...blog setup and all. I'm tired of just being a troll, I'm gonna make it official. You've inspired and encouraged me so much and I thank you :)

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  20. BRAVO Debi!

    Oh WOW!!!! I'm so excited for you!!!

    Can't WAIT to hear all about it!

    Please let me know the minute you announce your blog.

    And thank YOU, because we all inspire one another here in blogland!

    You GO, girl!

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  21. I'm not big on change. I prefer dollar bills. You can fold them in half and they don't weigh as much.

    oh...not that kind of change?

    hehehe

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  22. Morning Jeff!

    HA!

    Me too!!!

    What is it about carrying around all that loose change in our pockets, that's so icky?

    (especially pennies!!!)

    I have a piggy bank, that I throw all my change into, and then every so often trade it in for BILLS!

    It's "lighter"...yet feels "heavier."

    $$$$$$

    Thanks for stopping by, buddy!

    Enjoy your day!

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  23. Hey Ron!!

    I LOVE change!! I live for it- like when they change the music cd in my spin class! They've been doing it sooo much lately, it's FAB!! Esp since I was getting to know all the songs by heart and knowing what song came next on the cd.. Too predictable for me.. I like change, cuz it's different!! I like to change my recipes and not make the same thing again cuz there are just sooo many out there...
    One thing about change I DON'T like now that I no longer live in the dessert of So, Cal!! I don't like the change (transition) from Fall to Winter... Ohhhhh... too cold and too barren for me...
    But I love the change from winter to fall, spring to summer and summer to fall... So, it's not ALL bad!!!
    Take care and let me know when you meet Barbara and Didier... Take care, Leesa

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  24. Hiya Leesa!

    YAY....another person who LOVES change!!!

    Isn't change, wonderful?

    This is one of the reasons why I moved back to the North from the South...GOD...I missed the seasonal changes.

    I was born in the Fall (October) and like YOU a adore it. Fall is just a great VISUAL for change. The leaves on the trees are breathtaking.

    I know...Winter is not usually a favorite for most people, but I LOVE it. I love to be cold. I also find such beauty in the barreness of everyting. Winter seems to relax my spirit. I honestly should consider ALASKA!! I feel like a penquin!

    HA!

    And like you, I also enjoy a change of music and also food. Change keeps things fresh.

    Hey, I've been meaning to tell you that I just LOVE your avatar photo. You look like a movie star!

    Yes...I will definately let you know when I meet up with Barbara and her hubby. It should be sometime next week.

    I can't wait!

    Thanks for stopping by today, Leesa!

    You always bring such a wonderful energy to Vent!

    Thank you!

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  25. Oh my friend, this is a wonderful post. You had me from the begining and held me through it...then you let go. I felt like an autumn leaf drifing away with your words swirling inside of me.

    I am afraid of change but I welcome it. I sometimes have to wave goodbye to friends when that change takes place.

    Change became something that excites me as much as it scares me.

    Sorry I'm late, work kicked my ass this week...I would love to have an easy day for a CHANGE. hehe.

    ha...It was a hard week but I survived...you take carae sweetie and I love Halloween best too.

    Sweetie...I would have loved to had seen you on stage. I love the theater and live performances.

    Ciao baby. You have a fab Friday. I heart you.

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  26. OMG...Dear Miss Jones...I was JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU when I discovered your comment!!!

    How FUNNY is that???

    Hey listen, girl...don't you ever concern yourself with showing up here late. I totally understand that we all have lives outside of our blogs, and sometimes it gets crazy. For me too! I'm excited to see you ANYTIME you come here. But I so appreciate your sweet concern. You're the BEST!

    Boy...I TOO have had a crazy day myself. In fact this whole week has been crazy. I'm working extra hours, so I'm not even able to answer most comments until later in the evening.

    Hey....but that's CHANGE!!!

    HA!

    Thank you for enjoying this post, my friend. Everytime the Fall arrives, it reminds me of change, so I couldn't help writing about it on this post.

    Like you, change excites me, but also scared me.

    And it's so challenging when the change involves people moving out or away from our lives. It's like a part of us has been extracted.

    Wouldn't it be wonderful someday, if you and I could perform onstage together in show?? That would be so much fun!

    I loved the time I spent onstage, and one of these days, I have a wonderful feeling, that I will return.

    Until then....VENT is my stage.

    tee, hee!

    Thank you so much for stopping by, Spiky!

    You always bring such love.

    Ciao bella!

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  27. Hi Ron,

    Hehehe... Nice of you to compliment my avatar--- I am a star, I'm from Hollywood... Hehehehehhe.... I don't know if you knew that about me, but now the story's out!!!! I'm very humble, though!!

    I should start liking winter like you.. it would make mine easier... because this is going to be my 3rd winter in France. It's not sooo bad and I do kinda like the barren trees in a way... I LOVEEEEEEEEE taking pictures of trees.. One of my fav. things... Esp. here in Paris.. Anyhow... Have a great time with Barbara and Didier.. Barbara's such a doll - She's the kind of true friend everyone should have. And her hubby is a doll, too!! They're a very cute couple... Take care, Leese

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  28. Yeah for Debi!!!!!!

    (what I really mean is yeah for US.....cuz I'm sure it'll be a fun place to visit!)
    (ya suppose she'll have cookies and coffee for the open house?...just askin'!!!!)

    SOME change I like....
    Yaknow...When I feel like I've been consulted about it. LOL
    Unexpected, unplanned, unconsulted about change--I can get a bit fiesty and grumble (mostly cuz I like grumbling...)a bit.
    k......grumble a LOT...

    I'm a kicking and screamin' kinda gal. (surprise!!!!!!!!)
    Even if it's a change for the good (as most IS), there's gonna be a tantrum and noise.

    And pouting.
    And whining.
    And kvetching.

    LOL Thinkin' you get the picture!

    But I'm sooooooo excited--cuz it's officially 'permissible' to drag out the Halloween STUFF now!
    Wooooohooooooo!!!!!!

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  29. Hiya Leesa!

    oooh...oooh...one of these days you and I have to have a long converstion about this!!!

    I would LOVE to hear all about it!!

    See...I could just TELL you were a movie star!!

    You have that energy about you!

    Can't WAIT to meet Barb and her Hubby. And I bet she IS a great friend...she has the feeling about her!

    Oh god...I can't WAIT for the first snowfall!! I'm a WINTER feak!

    Thanks for stopping by again, Leesa!

    I always love talking to you!

    Enjoy your day!

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  30. Hiya Mel!

    OMG...I'm so excited about Debi's new blog!!

    She's a very funny lady, who I KNOW will have an AWESOME blog!!!

    She's a great lady, so if you have a chance, please visit her blog. I have her listed on my blogroll.

    Change....

    Me too Mel. I sometimes kick and scream and kick and scream til I kick and scream some more!!

    Change is some "scary-ass" stuff. It pushes all my "buttons" and makes me crazy sometimes. But there's a part of me that LOVES it too!

    oooh...and I KNOW...OUR favorite holiday is quickly approaching, Mel!

    BOO DAY!

    HA!

    Thanks so much for sharing yourself on this post, dear Mel!

    You've added much!

    Happy Friday to you!

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