My inspiration for this post came from my dear, longtime blogging friend, Debbie @ Musings by an ND Domer's Mom, who is not only a gifted...
Today I thought I share about change…and what it means for me.
I’ve always been one of those people who enjoys change, yet at the same time…fears it.
I fear it, because with change, I don’t ever know what’s ahead.
Change involves the disruption of what is familiar and comfortable.
(and that can be scary)
It involves “letting go” of something; making space for a new experience.
The type of change I‘m talking about on this post, are changes which involve choices that “I” may make, such as: relocating my residence, or taking a new job, or even choosing to know when it’s time to end a relationship.
If I should make a choice to change something…I quite often obsess over whether it's the RIGHT choice.
(which is something I still struggle with)
And yet, I’ve discovered that there is no real “right choice.” It’s just a choice, which will take me to another experience.
I know this to be true for myself, because I’ve made changes in my life, when it first appeared that it was not the “perfect” choice, and yet I was still able to learn something and grow from it. So in a way, it WAS perfect.
This is why I personally don’t believe in mistakes.
For me, the most frightening thing about change, is that it puts me in a position of feeling out of control.
And I’d like to think that I’m in total control of everything in my life, because it gives me a feeling of safety and security.
Change involves my willingness to give up control; abandoning what I know…and feeling temporarily vulnerable.
The time I spent as an actor performing live on stage, has taught me the most about change.
Acting onstage is a great example of change.
The lines (or dialog) that an actor speaks on stage each evening, ARE the same, but everything else changes with each unique performance, because LIVE means performing in the moment…and moments change.
Performing live, ironically involves the dichotomy of “sameness” and yet at the same time…surrendering to something “different.”
It constantly tested my willingness to “let go”…and see what happens.
Acting in the theater is very much like my life.
I keep some of my sameness…yet try to leave myself open to change.
No doubt about it…change can be scary.
But hey, one of my favorite holidays….is Halloween!
Boo!
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