My inspiration for this post came from my dear, longtime blogging friend, Debbie @ Musings by an ND Domer's Mom, who is not only a gifted...
Today, for some crazy reason, I started thinking about the first time I had a massage.
I remember being extremely nervous, as if I had an appointment for a proctology examination or something.
For as verbose and free as I am with certain things…I’m extremely shy when it comes to lying on a table totally exposed, with only a towel covering my private parts.
I knew the massage therapist very well, and she was totally professional, so it wasn’t anything in her demeanor that caused me to feel uncomfortable - it was simply my own insecurities.
I’m also extremely ticklish around my torso, so I had visions of suddenly bursting out into fits of laughter, like a Hyena, the minute her hands got to my abdominal area.
And also...a MAJOR thing for guys…..
…is the fear of…
“What if (god forbid) my pee-pee suddenly decides to stand up at attention; making the towel resemble an Indian TEE-PEE?”
(because that DAMN thing has a MIND of it’s own)
Anyway…she instructed me on how to lie on the table and drape the towel; then left the room.
Holy cow…you should have seen me….
…the second she shut the door, I jumped on the table, and I tucked the towel so THOROUGHLY around my wee-wee, making sure NO part was exposed.
Then I checked…rechecked…and then checked again.
I even moved around a bit to see if the towel would fall off if I shifted my body in anyway.
(I actually thought of maybe SCOTCH-TAPPING the towel on, however, I wasn’t too keen on having a Brazilian wax that day)
Suddenly I heard a gentle knock on the door...
“Are you ready, Ron?”
“Yes” I responded.
(YES…I’m ready to totally FREAK OUT!)
Before she began, she asked if there were any areas on my body that I did not want touched.
(OH…THANK GOD)
And I told her that I would rather not have my stomach area touched, because I was very ticklish.
She began the massage at my scalp and proceeded to move down my body. And by the time she got to my feet…I was in LA LA LAND!
She then asked me to flip over, as she held the towel in place; rolling over onto my stomach.
(and guess what?…my pee-pee stayed safely INTACT)
About half-way through having my back worked on, I was so relaxed, that I started dribbling saliva from my mouth, which dripped onto the floor through the face cradle.
And I’m thinking to myself, “She really need’s to add a DRIP-PAN or SPIT-CUP.”
The next thing I remember, is hearing her soft voice saying, “I’m going to leave the room now, Ron, take your time getting up.”
GETTING UP?? No way, MISSY…I’m staying here for the rest of my life!
So needless to say, all my worrying was in vain, because the whole experience ended up being wonderful!
In fact, it felt like I was floating on a cloud all day.
And that evening…I slept like a kitty.
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