Paper Towel Excess


Ok, I admit it…I’m terribly excessive when it comes to paper towel use.

(I’m so sorry TREES!)

Whenever I dry my hands, I can never seem to tear off a single sheet.

NO…I have to pull off enough so that I can MUMMIFY my entire body.

I can’t help it, but once I start pulling on the roll…I can’t stop.

It feels like I’m being POSSESSED by some unexplainable PULL-power.

I’m currently trying to break myself of this habit, by not buying paper towels any longer and just using a separate dish towel to dry my hands. I've also employed the use of old cotton t-shirts and underwear for cleaning glass.

However, now what I find myself doing…is BORROWING paper napkins from the bookstore café whenever I buy a cup of coffee, and then using them as paper towels.

You should see me…

…after I pour some milk in my coffee at the condiment station, I casually look around the café like some SPY agent, to make sure no one is watching. And then I quickly yank a FIST-FULL of napkins out of the dispenser and shove them into my backpack.

I do this about 3 times a week, so I can stock up.

And the other day I totally freaked, because I noticed that the napkin dispenser was empty (I wonder WHY?). So I took it over to the coffee bar, urgently asking the barista if he could replenish them. And after he refilled it, I placed the dispenser back on the condiment station and proceeded to extract about 50.

Aren’t I wickedly evil?

Even at work, when I’m cleaning off the glass counter top with Windex…I’ll pull about 100 yards off the roll, just to clean an area no bigger than a mouse pad.

I definitely think I have an illness.

I wonder if there’s such a thing as Paper Towel Anonymous?

“Hi, I’m Ron…and I’m a paper towel addict…and I also BARROW napkins.”


Oh, and PLEASE…don’t even get me STARTED on how much TOILET PAPER I use….






Update (monday @3:45pm): I would like everyone to know, that I just returned from running all my Monday afternoon errands; one of which, was stopping by the bookstore cafe' for a cup of coffee.....

....and GUESS what "I" did?

24 comments

  1. You know, I wouldn't go through as many paper towels, if this boy would just put his BACK FEET on the pee pad!
    (Newspaper doesn't work, because the ink just gets transferred to the tile, then you spend twice as many paper towels cleaning THAT up too)
    Yes, sorry trees. At least I don't have to buy as much T.P. with the loser gone!

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  2. Oh, don't get me started on toilet paper stock.

    If there ain't twelve in the closet--I'm panicking. LOL WHY that is, dunno....

    Now papertowels.....I ain't so keen on.
    Though we do buy the kind that let you have whatever size you want.
    And there are three rolls in the pantry closet.
    And I hate running out.
    And there is a brand that I have to have....

    k.....I might be a bit quirky about papertowels, too.....

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  3. I do the SAME thing at the bookstore. I totally grab a small stack of napkins, but I use them in my car. You know, for fixing lipstick, lunch on the go, etc. And with my son's allergies they come in handy for when he's in need on the way too or from school. I am terrible about buying tissues so around here we grab whatever is available and usually it's a paper towel. I tend to use alot of them when I'm cleaning glass but will use old shirts for dusting.
    For drying hands if there is no kitchen towel handy I will try and take just one. Because our daughter and her family live with us, our paper product bill is insane. LOL So we buy the store brands of them. Probably not the best feeling paper on ones skin, but more affordable. ;)

    Hey, for the price cafes charge for drinks, the least they can do is let us take some napkins. Now if I could just figure out a way to bring a container in with no one seeing and start 'borrowing' some of their milk products we could eat our cereal and drink our coffee at home compliments of Starbucks. :) They can afford it!!! LOL

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  4. Snap Ron, I use mountains of the stuff as well!

    I have this image in my mind of you polishing glass with your underpants! :0

    Tell me No please!

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  5. Morning Debi!

    Oh, man...you're comment made me MAJOR giggle with your "reference" to T.P. and the loser gone!!!

    That was FUNNY!!!

    And honestly...it does seem like men use MORE T.P. than woman, however I'm not sure why!?!?

    I think it's so cool that your dog uses a pee pad! My mothers two POM'S also use one, in between going outside.

    Yea...and you're so right about newspaper, because I would sometimes place it around the kitty litter box, and the SAME thing would happen!!!

    Thanks for stopping by today, Debi!

    ALWAYS great!

    Hey...and someone at work gave me a bag of the multi-colored TWIZZLERS yesterday. I LOVE the GRAPE!!!

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  6. Howdy Mel!

    OMG...you're so FUNNY dear lady!

    I hear ya, because running out of TP is NOT a cool experience!!!I always try and have a few rolls for back up!

    And YES...I have seen those paper towels you're talking about, that allow you to have whatever size you want, but for some INSANE reason...I STILL go PULL CRAZY!!!

    It's like the perforations don't even exsist!?!?

    HA!

    Always FUN seeing ya, Mel!

    I hope you had a GRANDE' Halloween with all the trick or treaters!!! I'm sure you have some awesome photos. I'll be by later today to check them out!!!!

    Happy Monday!

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  7. Good MorningCrystal-Chick!

    Ahhhhhh.....

    ...somehow I knew that YOU (my bookstore loving friend), would totally understand the napkin stealing thing!!!!

    And you know something?

    I never thought of it that way, but you're right!!

    For the FREAKING high prices$ of their drinks and snacks...it should be something they just GIVE us!!

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    ooooh...and I LOVE your idea about using the milk and sugar items too!

    I HAVE on occassion, BORROWED honey packets too!

    LOVE THEM!!

    I'm like you, M...when I owned a car in Florida, the glove box was alway CRAMMED with borrowed paper napkins for any in-car emergencies!!

    HA!

    Thanks a BUNCH for stopping by and sharing your paper towel/napkin use, M!

    Now I know....I'm NOT alone!!!

    Enjoy your Monday!

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  8. Morning Akelamalu!

    HA!!!

    You're going to die...

    ...but, YES...I actually DO use old underpants.

    (of course...after they're FIRST washed)

    Somehow because of their size and that fact that they're cotton, they make the BEST glass cleaning cloths!

    So I figure...

    ...with all my excess paper use, I'm at least being conscious about RECYCLING my UNDERWEAR!

    HAHAHAHAHHA!

    Hey...and it's nice to hear I'm not the only one who uses mountains of this stuff!

    ALWAYS great seeing ya, dear friend!

    HAPPY MONDAY to you!

    Enjoy your day!

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  9. Going to a coffee shop with you would be a lot like going to McDonalds with my wife. She's a napkinaholic!

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  10. Paper towwels and toilet paper. The way I use them you would think my middle name is Kimberly Clark. I cannot function unless I have at least 1/4 mile of towel to wipe anything including my nose. Toilet Paper is just as bad. I do not feel as if I have don the job correctly until there is enough paper to off the rolls to make the Sunday Newspaper.
    Will I ever stop this? I do not think so.
    Oh, well time to wipe up

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  11. Toilet paper is something no one should skimp on...unless we're talking toilet-clogging proportions. hehe

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  12. Helloooo Gene!

    Nice seein ya!

    Thanks for stopping by!

    Hey listen, tell your wife if I ever find an AA group for paper towel users....she and I can be "support buddies" when we go off the wagon!

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    Enjoy your day, Gene!

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  13. HOLY SHIT, DAVE!

    You totally CRACK ME UP BUDDY!

    OMG...that was SOOO funny...Kimberly Clark!!!

    See, that's me TOO...I never feel like I can get the job done, unless I use a MILE of paper, whether it's paper towels or toilet paper!

    Oh, well...at least I know I'm in GREAT company with you, Dave!

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by and sharing your wonderful story!

    And what a HEARTY laugh it gave me!

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  14. Howdy Rhea!

    Hey great seeing ya!

    I clicked over on your link, and saw that your writing for a Texas blog!

    How cool!

    OMG...clogging the toilet with zealous amounts of TP, is something I must be VERY careful of!

    HAHAHAHA!

    Hope you're having a wonderful Monday!

    Thanks for stopping by!

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  15. NO SHIT........multicolored TWIZZLERS?? Damn, another thing to look for! You bad influence you LOL

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  16. Holy Moly Debi!

    It's SO funny that you should be leaving a comment about the Multi-colored twizzlers, because after dinner this evening, I torn into the bag I and went BALLISTIC!!!!

    OMG...they're DELICIOUS!!!

    I finally had to stop myself, so I can save some for tomorrow!!!

    You've GOT TO try them. They have all sorts of wonderful flavors in one bag!!!

    And I just learned something while I was reading the back of the package....

    ....Twizzlers are made RIGHT HERE in Hershey, Pennsylvania!! I honestly thought Hershey made only chocolate candy!?!

    WOOOPIE!!! I have my own STATE supply!!!

    HA!

    Thanks for stopping by, Debi!

    Hope you're having a good day at work!

    Later!

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  17. Hi Ron,
    I'm quite the opposite than you in paper towel use; I take what I need... a conservative in the paper towel party.
    But... I absolutely need to have them at home ! I have dish rags, but nothing quite as clean as a paper towel square.
    Didier is also a paper napkin saver! I have tons, because of HIM !

    By the way Ron, I tagged you for a meme. Pls, mosey on over !!
    xxxx

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  18. Good Morning Barbara!

    GOOD GIRL!!!

    I conservative paper towel user!!!

    Gosh...I should have mentioned this to you, while you were visiting in October...

    ....you could have taught me your trick!

    HA!

    oooops!...please don't hate me, but I don't participate in memes, Barb. I've been tagged before and share the same thing with others. But thank you very much for thinking of me!

    I'll stop by later on today to read yours though!

    Thanks a bunch for dropping by today, Barb!

    ALWAYS a DElight!

    Enjoy the rest of your day!!!!

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  19. Ron Dahling,
    Have you tried the Hershey's Good Night Kisses Cocoa? They make them in chocolate and (ugh) white chocolate tiny kisses that MELT in the cocoa............must...buy...some as it is starting to get cold now.

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  20. Hiya Debi!

    NO...I've never heard of them before, but DAMN....they sound like something I would LOVE!!!!!

    And you must be like me....I'm NOT fond of white chocolate!

    The DARKER the better!

    Thanks for letting me know about the cocoa, Deb!

    I'll be sure to let you know when I try it!

    Hope your having a wonderful day!

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  21. I live in a country that is very GREEN. You will almost NEVER find a public bathroom with paper towels to dry your hands, and very rarely, you may run across those fabric rolls to dry them on.... Otherwise, it's hand dryer city, man!!!! Which kinda sucks if you are someone like me who MUST grab ahold of the doorknob with a piece of papertowel and NOT just the naked qnd very germy, bacteria-ridden door handle!!! YUUCKKK!!!! I sometimes forget to grab a few squares of tp to do the job so I usually end up using my clothes to as a buffer.....
    At home, I tend to grab a papertowel or two to wipe up a mess rahther than the spounge... Force of habit, I guess!

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  22. Morning Leesa!

    Hey...that's WONDERFUL to hear about France!!!!

    YAHOO!

    OMG...your mention of grabbing the public restroom door handle with your clothes made me HOWL!

    I'm the SAME WAY!!!!

    I've never understood washing your hands and then touching the door knob with your bare hand after all the people before you, DIDN'T wash their hands!!!

    Thanks for stopping by today, Leesa!

    Hope you had a wonderful time with your visiting friend!

    HAPPY WEDNESDAY!

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  23. ronnie...Hi I'm back. Work eased up and now and my blog is mine again.

    hey ronnie...I swear you and I are related. I must be the Italian part of me. sweetie, towels...I buy them by the tons and napkins...I won't say I steal them, even if I do. But I have an excuse if caught by the guys in blue and a badge...I'm messy and needed them? How did those napkins get in my luggage. Oh Why yes..I don;t go anywhere without my luggage. If that doesn't work I'll drop my pen accidently and bend over to pick it up. If that doesn't work...I deserve to be behind bars.

    Ciao babe...you rock. I really do all that stuff. hehehe

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  24. OMG...Miss Jones!

    You freaking KILL me!!

    I LOVE your means of getting around the men in blue!

    And I'm SURE they're utterly distracted and enthralled by that, and no longer care about the napkins!

    You GO GIRL!

    Hey...glad to hear about work and that your back posting again!

    I LOVED those guest posts you hosted...they were wonderful!

    Thank you!

    Last night I was up til 3AM with the presidential celebration going on outside.

    It was like a NEW YEARS EVE party!

    Thanks for stopping by tonight, Spiky!

    Always special!

    Ciao bella

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