I Sit to Pee


I know this is very personal and I’m probably going to regret ever saying this on the World Wide Web, and it may one day even prevent me from getting a job at K-Mart, but…

…I like to sit when I pee.

There...I said it.

However, when I’m in a public rest room, I DO stand.

But that’s only because the seats are so disgustingly FILTHY and I value my ass much more than that.

And you can forget about me trying to pee at a urinal, because I would rather my bladder BURST…than stand there with nine other men, staring at a wall covered in graffiti and talking about the Philadelphia Eagles.

um...I don't think so!

But at home, and also when I’m in someone else’s home…I sit.

And please don’t laugh, because I would like one person here to tell me where it’s documented, that men are naturally born with the genetic coding to stand while peeing.

I mean….who invented this silly task?

And I’ll tell you the main reason why I like to sit, and that’s because it’s LESS MESSY.

I don’t care how careful a man is…it always back-splashes EVERYWHERE.

And another reason I like to sit, is because it’s actually much more comfortable than standing up and trying to aim my “binky” at a puddle of water.

Sometimes when I have to pee in the middle of the night, sitting down is especially helpful because I can rest my head against the sink and continue sleeping. This way, it keeps me in a restful state of relaxation, so that when I get back into bed…I just nod right off.

And besides that…try STANDING and peeing while your half asleep, and then take a look at the toilet seat the next morning…

…I guarantee it’ll look like someone took a garden hose to your bathroom in the middle of the night.

I’m sorry…but I’m a man who likes to take a seat when I pee.

Because I would much rather sit, than do this….






40 comments

  1. LOL another wonderfully funny picture!

    Ron, I'm so delirious from being up at like 5 am yesterday and out to vote by 6 and following election stuff all day but just wanted to visit before I went off to nightie night. Actually I think I already went to bed and might now be sleepwalking?? LOL

    HEY, I sit down to pee too!!
    You'de think that would be a no-brainer for a woman, but it's not. There are many who stand in public bathrooms and I usually get the toilet after them and have to clean off their spray. EeeWWWWW.

    Hubby sits to pee sometimes. His morning potty session is the only time he really gets to read.

    My son used to be pretty messy, like forgetting to put the toilet seat up when he peed and dang it, there's that WET seat again. It's my life's mission it seems to wipe toilets off. I was about ready to start putting cheerios in the bowl so he'd have something to aim at. But he's getting better so I'll keep the cereal in the kitchen. ;)

    zzzzzz
    zzzzzz

    Ooops.... drifting off again.....
    I better go or you'll need to cover me with a blanket and wake me in time to get my son off to school.

    Have a great day! M

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  2. Good Morning Crystal Chick!

    OMG....me too!

    I waited in line to vote for over an hour! Thank god I had a cup of Starbucks with me.

    But he WON!!!! He WON!!!!

    YAHOOO!

    Right now, the entire city is SCREAMING! And car horns are BLAIRING!!

    Well...I guess I'll be up for another few hours!!!

    Anway...about peeing standing up....

    .... I LOVE it for the reason you just shared...it's so LESS messy!!!

    OMG...you should see what the public mens rooms looks like!

    A PIG TROUGH!

    OMG...that made me HOWL what you said about placing Cheerios in the bowl!!!

    How funny!

    But I bet it WORKS!!!

    Ok...I suppose I should TRY and go to bed now.

    I wonder where I put those EAR PLUGS??

    HAHAHHHAHAHA!

    Thanks for stopping by this EARLY morning, M!

    Have a GREAT day!

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  3. Yeah, I sit to pee as well. LOL!!

    No, seriously, I don't think this is all that uncommon. My husband and my sons sit to pee a lot of times too. Does that make you feel any better??

    Hope you are doing well Ron. Did you get out and vote yesterday?

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  4. Nothing wrong with sitting to pee. At night I do the same thing. It is far less messy. Also I do not have to prove to any one that I can pee through a cheerio in the middle of the toliet to have perfect aim. As far as out in the public, I am with you I will go into or wait for a stall to pee. I know we are in the minority yet so is Obama.

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  5. Sure wish more men would sit. I get damned tired of the mess. *smiles*

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  6. Helloooo Nicole!!!!

    GREAT seeing ya, girl!

    Thanks for stopping by to say hello!

    aaahhh...see, I'm not the ONLY guy who sits!!!

    I was in a mens public restroom the other day, and it made me start thinking about this, so silly...I decided to write a post about it!!!

    HAAHAHA!

    And YES...I did get out and vote yesterday. I went later in the day (3PM) thinking it would be a good time...WRONG....so I waited in line for over an hour! They only had 4 voting machines!!!

    Anyway...I'm so glad I waited!!!

    Thanks again for dropping by!

    It was SO GREAT talking with ya!

    Enjoy your day!

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  7. Good Morning Mr. Dave!

    OMG...I ALWAYS enjoy your wonderful WIT, my friend!!

    And...HA!...see, another man who waits to use a stall!!!

    YAHOOO!

    What's with URINALS???

    OMG...and you should see the men's rooms in Japan! I'll do a post one day on them. I was SHOCKED at what their toilets looked like. AND I LIVED THEIR FOR TWO MONTHS!!!

    OY!

    Thanks for stopping by, buddy!

    I was up past 3AM this morning with all the hoopla in Philly!

    It was GRAND!!!!

    Enjoy your day, buddy!

    Oh...and Cheerio!

    HAHAHAHAHA!

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  8. Helloooooooooo Greenwoman!

    So great to see ya!!!!

    Hey...I know of more women who say the same thing!

    It's so funny to listen to young mom's who have little boys, talk about the "aim issue."

    I think they should have a "target practice class" in grammer school for the boys!

    HAHAHAHAHHA!

    Thanks for dropping by today, Greenwoman!

    And Happy Wednesday to ya!

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  9. I trained my son to pee standing by having him aim at Cheerios floating in the potty. While he got the general idea of getting the stream in the water, he never perfected the actual getting it in the water! Maybe he should sit.

    Mulder also will sit at times so I never thought it terribly strange. And I do appreciate the "less mess" that comes after he sits to pee.

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  10. More men should. But...do you remember to put the seat back down? LOL

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  11. OMG...Lady Nitebyrd!!!

    You and Crystal Chick are familar with the same Cheerios Trick!!!!!

    It's funny, because I never even heard of that before you both mentioned it!!

    Geesh...maybe if I had...I'd be standing today!

    Honestly...I think for any guy, standing while peeing, it's pretty hard not to be a little messy, ya know!

    HA!...and good for Mulder!!!

    It's nice to take a seat!!

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Thanks for stopping by today, lady Nitebyrd!

    ALWAYS a great TREAT!!!

    Enjoy your evening!

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  12. Aloha Debi!

    Well, because I mainly sit...I never have to worry about putting the seat down.

    But...YES...like if I'm in a public restroom and lift it before I pee...I do remember to put it down!

    I know that many woman say that it's something they always have to remind their significant other to do!

    oooops!...I fell in again, damn it!

    HA!

    Hope you're having a great day, Debi!

    Always nice talking with ya!

    P.S. and how are those rabbit ears working???

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  13. Oh noooooooooooo........

    I am NOT askin' and you can't make me.

    Just sayin'......LOL

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  14. OMG...Mel...your comments ALWAYS make my HOWL!

    You're so funny!!

    In so few words...you say so much!

    And that's WONDERFUL!!!

    Ok...I won't ask you...

    ...but those urinals were a photo of a men's public restroom in Amsterdam, Holland!

    Aren't they HYSTERICAL????

    Thanks for stopping by, my friend!

    ALWAYS a JOY!

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  15. ronnie...hey I've tried standing and peeing. It just doesn't work for me either baby. It's messy and especially if your drunk. It warmly flows down your leg and...well, I'd rather sit.

    hey you are so right about public restrooms. I'd rather balance myself on the toilet seat. One heel on each side and pee from higher up.

    Lucky for me I use the executive restrooms...yay. :D

    One thing more...i so wish my eldest boy would sit and pee...or go in the neighbor's bushes.

    hehehehe. I know he's get a kick out of it if I'd let him. hehehe.

    Wonderful post ronnie...you had me giggling.

    Ciao babe.

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  16. HOLY SHIT Miss Jones!

    I was laughing so hard when you said, especially if you're drunk!

    Oh...that's funny!

    I know that some women say they also stand in public restrooms (and I can TOTALLY understand WHY), but that must be some task!

    And after you explained your way of actually doing it....I think you deserve an Olympic Gold Medal for that and a 10!

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    BRAVA!

    Hey...and it's also hysterical about wanting your son to pee in the neighbors bushes!

    I SURE he'd LOVE it!

    Thanks SOOOO much for sharing your brilliant stories, my friend!

    God...their always so enjoyed!

    Ciao bella

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  17. Gawd...
    If only I could get the teen to do this..
    I Soooooooooo
    understand the garden hose metaphor..
    geeez no aim!
    and a big tinkler...
    Gawd...

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  18. Alright, I got niothin' on this one. I'm laughing too damned hard to come up with anything witty. As soon as I saw the title, I knew it was gonna be a doozy.

    You kill me Ron.

    Bwahahahahaha


    Hey, the least I can do is give you a few more of these in case you're running low.

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  19. Is there nothing you won't discuss!? I LOVE that about you.

    We'd make a lovely couple. I like to pee standing up.

    But seriously ...

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  20. Good Evening Lady Sorrow!

    It's funny, because I talk to more mom's that say the SAME THING about their son's!

    In fact, I told a woman at work today about this post, and she told me that her son was so BAD at aiming...that she finally had to remove the bathroom floor mat because it was CONSTANTLY soaked!!

    aaaahhh...the hazards of having a BOY!

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    Thanks for stopping by tonight, dear Sorrow!

    Always FUN!!!!

    Enjoy your evening!

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  21. Good Evening Mr. Jeff!

    OMG....thank you SOOOOO much for those (!'s) because I've been getting totally out of hand with them lately!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I seriously thing I have ISSUES with exclaimation points!

    Before I got on the Internet and starting blogging...I barely even used them.

    But now it's like I'm ODing on them!

    I honestly can't control myself!

    Oh well...I think it's because I'm Italian...and you KNOW how expressive we Roman's can be!

    HAHAHA!

    Thanks for sharing your (!'s) buddy.

    And thanks for stopping by!

    Later gator!!!!!!!!!!

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  22. Helloooooo Dianne!

    OMG...you make me laugh, girl!

    That's funny!

    I know...do I NOT have ANY limitations about what I discuss??

    No.

    Hey, if we were a couple...we could actually have HIS and HERS urinals!!!

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    Thanks for your wonderful WIT, dear lady!

    It's such a welcome here!

    OMG...last night I finally got to bed at 3 AM with all the celebration going on in the city! But it was SOOOO worth it!

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  23. Okay I have to be honest. My oldest son sits to pee and he learned that from his father. I would tell him Red Ranger stand and Pee like a man don't sit down.

    He would tell me what you said its relaxing mom.

    Well now that there is a trend going I guess I won't throw cheerios in the toilet anymore and tell him to aim. He can sit if he wishes!

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  24. Hi Domestic Diva!

    Hey...it's GREAT seeing ya!

    Thanks for stopping by!

    YAHOOO! Another guy who likes to SIT!

    And BRAVA to you for allowing him!

    This whole Cheerios thing has me AMAZED! More moms have shared that on this post and I had NO idea!!!

    OMG...I will never think of Cheerios in the same way again!

    HA!

    Enjoy your evening, Diva!

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  25. OHMYGOD you are way too funny! And honest ha. Love this story. Thank you for making me morning.

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  26. Good Morning Shyloh!

    Hey...this is too funny, because just yesterday I was wondering how your were, and then POOF...you stop by!

    Maybe it's the "reiki connection!"

    HA!

    Anwyay, it's so nice seeing ya!

    Hope all is well and that you're having a wonderful November!

    Gosh...before we know it, Santa will be here!

    Happy Thursday, Shyloh!

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  27. Hey Ron if you want to sit to pee that's fine - much less messy too - I know after cleaning up after a hubby and two sons! ;)

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  28. Good Evening Akelamalu!

    Thanks, dear lady!

    I'm ALL about being LESS MESSY!

    I'm a Libra with a Virgo rising!

    Which equals...OCD!

    HA!

    Thanks much for dropping by today!

    Enjoy your evening!

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  29. ron, I know I am a bit late wandering by to comment on this one but you really should write an autobiography, you are so off the wall and hysterically funny....now, I am eating a nice piece of banana bread with my tea, so this topic could have been, shall we say, a little less, graphic for the livelihood of my stomach but aside from that, you are a howl...and, I might add, so right...I raised TWO TALL sons and one TALL husband and if only.......................it's almost the only "civilized" way to go about it, imo.....but men being what they are...well, not you, ronnie dear one...and I so appreciate your sensibilities...write a book and aim it at men and then sneak in subliminal messages of how men should REALLY do things, OK? and then I shall share it with the three males I know plus two more little boys who can't hit a toilet bowl even sitting!!! well....oh never mind :)

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  30. Good Afternoon Linda!

    OMG...your comment made me HOWL!!!

    But I'm so sorry that you were eating while reading this post.

    I should have place a WARNING LABEL at the beginning!

    DO NOT EAT WHILE READING!

    HAHAHAHA!

    And holy cow...I'm a short guy and can't "aim" correctly, so I can't image being TALL and doing it!!

    Hey, listen...you gave me a FABULOUS idea for a book!

    I could entitle it...

    "How to be a Civilized Male"

    HAAHAHAHHA!

    Thank you for your WONDERFUL comment, dear lady!

    I SOOOOOO enjoyed it!

    Have a FABU weekend!
    X

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  31. So now I know a little more about you, Ron.

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  32. Hiya San!

    I know...

    ...isn't it enlightening?

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    Have a VUNDERBAR day, dear lady!

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  33. i was just looking around and found your blog... then I saw the picture of the urinal and you made me laugh so hard... I showed it to my husband... great photo... great blog

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  34. Greetings Diane!

    Welcome...and thank you so much for taking the time to comment!

    Nice meeting you!

    Glad you stopped by and had a chuckle!

    I saw that photo when I was searching Flickr...and I almost DIED! I knew it was meant for this post!

    Please stop by anytime.

    You're always welcomed here!

    Have a nice evening!

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  35. Ron! I was JUST on my way over here to share a thought about a writing topic- lo and behold- a RELATED subject you had recently blogged on. (I Sit To Pee...) I am laughing out loud! And while on the subject- can you PULLEASE remark about PEOPLE THAT LEAVE AN EMPTY TP ROLL hanging on the roll holder????

    I couldn't possibly address this issue as hilariously as YOU can. Please bring this up. It is ANNOYING and I am certain I'm not the ONLY one that knows the feeling of going into the bathroom only to find NO TP because OTHER PEOPLE figure "someone else can refill it"... Know what I mean? ARGHAHH!(Tee hee!)

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  36. Helloooo again Sibyllae!

    OMG...I can't BELIEVE you read this post!!!

    I don't know WHAT the hell I was thinking when I wrote it!?!?!

    OMG...and you are SOOOOOO right about people leaving the freaking TP roll EMPTY!!!!

    And it IS annoying...I totally agree!

    Hey...and you just gave me a GREAT idea for anothe post!!!

    THANK YOU!!!!

    And thanks for stopping by, Sib!

    XO

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  37. AnonymousMay 13, 2009

    I sit down to pee always, my handicap does not prevent me from standing i just prefer it. I carry cleaners for seats or toilet rims in my back pack.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Hi Anonymous!

    Welcome!

    Thank you for stopping by and sharing a comment.

    Nice to meet you!

    Hey...that's a GREAT idea about carrying toilet rims in your back pack. That's what I should do, because the public bathrooms are ALWAYS out of them!?!* That's why I end up standing.

    Please stop by anytime. You're always welcomed here!

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  39. My husband has said the exact same thing!!

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  40. Greetings Gayle!

    Welcome! Thank you for stopping by and sharing a comment!

    Nice to meet ya!

    HA!...so glad to hear I'm not the only guy who SITS. Less messy and oh so more comfortable!

    tee, hee!

    Please stop by anytime. You're always welcome here!

    Enjoy your day!

    ReplyDelete