Monday, January 26, 2009

My Cheap New DVD Player

Isn’t it especially fun when several of your home appliances and electronics seem to fall apart at the same time?

Let’s see…

…so far it’s been my French press coffee maker, my VCR, my vacuum cleaner, my alarm clock, and most devastatingly, my DVD player.

Last Friday I decided it was time to replace the DVD player. And because I like to purchase things in the most frugal way possible, I went to the only place in this godforsaken city that sells electronics CHEAP.

I went to none other…than K Fart.

Oh, excuse me…K Mart.

I both love and hate K Mart.

I love it for the frugal prices, but I hate it because my shopping experience always feels like I’m being stung to death by a colony of fire ants.

Now I don’t know how the K Mart is in your part of the world, but the one here in Philly is perhaps one of the worst stores I’ve ever shopped in.

Not only does it look like someone dropped an atomic bomb on it, but the customer service is virtually invisible.

To tell you the truth, I’ve had better customer service while using a vending machine.

So whenever I go to K Mart I have to mentally and emotionally prepare myself, by trying to imagine that I’m the most laid-back person in the world, and that nothing bothers me.

But somehow I always end up reacting like Joan Crawford.

Well anyhow, I got a great deal. I purchased a DVD player for only $29.95.

And don’t laugh…because it actually works, temporarily.

However, even though the price tag was fantastic, trying to hook it up to both my VCR and TV was like something out of the horror movie SCREAM.

When I first opened the little booklet that came inside the box, it took me 15 minutes just to find the directions written in English. And then it took me another 30 minutes to unwrap all the one hundred ANNOYING pieces of protective plastic that were scotch taped to EVERY SINGLE INCH of the 29.95 piece of CRAP!

So 45 minutes after I got the damn thing unveiled, I attempted to read the cable connection directions.

This is when I began to have a complete hysterectomy breakdown, because nothing made any sense.

For some reason, the cable colors on the new DVD player did not match the cable colors on my TV modulator, PLUS…there was an extra orange and green cable, which I had no earthy idea what they were suppose to connect to.

And the booklet was absolutely no help, because it was printed in black and white, so I couldn’t tell what the hell cable colors they were referring to.

So I had to play a guessing game; plugging in fifty different cable color combinations in the hopes that one would finally be the perfect combination.

(I felt like a friggin’ switchboard operator)

Well, needless to say I finally got the DVD player connected.

But I would like to end this post by repeating one thing…

…K FART!