Glory Alleluia for Febreze


Besides chocolate and glow-in-the-dark condoms, I don’t think there’s ever been anything invented that has given me more pleasure and more reason to shout….

.. GLORY ALLELUIA!!!

For those of you who may live in various parts of the world, and have no earthly idea what I’m talking about, Febreze is a fabric refresher that miraculously neutralizes all kinds of offensive odors. It typically comes in a spray form, but more recently has been made into a laundry detergent, candles, and also plug-ins.

I don’t know how or why this stuff works, but it does, so I always have it handy in my apartment.

And what’s amazing, is that I’ve found a hundred different ways to use it.

When I had cats, it was a great way to neutralize litter box odor.

I also like to spray it in my kitchen trash can to eliminate any nasty garbage smell.

I will quite often spray it inside my sneakers to keep them smelling fresh.

It’s also very helpful to use in my bathroom after I do a stinky #2.

And because I smoke, I spray it on everything in my apartment: the carpet, sofa, mattress, throw pillows; even the ceiling fan, and I’ve never once had anyone say that my home smells like a cigarette.

But I think perhaps the most effective way that I’ve used Febreze, was in an emergency situation.

However, before I tell you, you must promise not to breathe a word of this to another living soul, ok?

Remember, it was an EMERGENCY situation and I had no other choice.

Back in December when I was working horrendous holiday hours in retail, there was a time when I didn’t even have a free hour to do a load of laundry. One morning while I was racing off to work, I noticed that I had completely ran out of clean underwear…Shit!

So a got a brilliant idea….

….I grabbed the pair that I had worn the day before out of the hamper, and lightly misted the crotch area with Febreze.

And then after twirling them in air a few times, to dry them…

…I took a little whiff…

And found them delightfully refreshed and reusable…








Have a refreshing weekend, everyone!

X

29 comments

  1. ronnie, I am surprised you own up to this one...ewwwwwwww, ron, this is truly gross and your DETAILED description AND picture doesn't help "sweeten" it up!! BUT, I AM glad to know there is ONE MORE USE for the almighty Febreeze, not that I would ever need to do this to my pure and virginal pink VS panties...I cannot believe I am actually having this discussion with you...course, it's just between us, right?

    kisses, have a great and stinky free weekend and please do your laundry.

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  2. I have used it and you are sooooo right!!! It really works!!
    Now, for pet stuff we sometimes have to use another product because we do have a cat and 2 dogs and have to bring out the big guns for their issues. And when we don't need to clean a big pet mess I just use some aromatherapy oils in baking soda and use that as my 'carpet fresh'. The other day I went with orange and grapefruit and it smelled so nice all day long.
    But for so many things, Febreze is fabulous. I've sprayed it on the sofa and the bed, etc.

    And now, I have a perfect way to blog all day and forget about the laundry. I can have that hamper full of dirty wash squirted down in a couple of minutes. ;) Thanks, Ron!!

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  3. Spraying your underwear with Febreze what a revolution in the laundry industry!! Me, I spray Old Spice or when I want to really appeal to the mass of people who will be down below the belt area I load the sucker up with Polo by Ralph Lauren. Then, when I want to attract that special person I hit my underarms with the beautiful frangrance of Corn beef Hash. A sure fire way of getting some one to notice you.
    When I run out of clean shorts I too put on yesterday's and when people stand next to me and sniff sniff sniff, I say: "I am sorry had a lot of beans to eat." Then I ask them if they would care to grab a plate and eat from under my arms.

    Well, my friend, again you have supplied as all with some great words and things to ponder. Have a wonderful day.
    Here's stinking of you.

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  4. HiRon,
    Yes ! I do know Fabreeze, even if I'm not as a "heavy duty" user as you are.
    It is quite handy stuff and my FIL swears by it.
    Though I would have never thought of squirting in on undergarments. But, you were really in dire need of fresh laundry ! I do remember your posts !!
    I can see it; Ronnie the Fabreeze mmericials. Hey; you're already an actor !!

    Big hugs to ya XXXX

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  5. I would glady sniff your crotch any time!!

    Did you know that they now make those Swiffer thingies enhanced with Febreeze? Now even my dust smells delightful

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  6. Good Morning Linda!

    Bwaaaaahahahahh!

    I know...aren't I GROSS PIG?

    But hey, what's true is true.

    GLORY ALLELUIA FEBREZE!!!!

    Yes, and listen...no worries, this discussion is just between you and I, and I promise not to breathe a word of it to anyone!!!!

    Tee, hee!

    Thanks for dropping by today, Linda!

    ALWAYS a wonderful to see ya!

    And have a MARVI weekend!

    XO

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  7. Hellooooo Crystal Chick!

    SEE!!!...it DOES work, doesn't it???

    Hey, but I really like your idea about using essential oils in baking soda. I need to try that one time!! I sometimes use essential oils mixed with H2O in a spray bottle, but mixing it with the baking soda would work much better for things like carpets and cloth items. Thanks for the tip!

    And boy...don't you just love the smell of all the citrus essential oils?? Orange is my FAV!!!!

    Thanks for stopping by today, M!

    And forget about doing the laundry and just BLOG ON BABY!!

    HAHHAHAHAHA!

    Enjoy your weekend!

    I hear it's suppose to warm up a bit tomorrow!

    XO

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  8. Bwwaaaahhhhhahha Dave!!!!

    You're a PISSER!

    OMG...you suddenly brought back a MASS of memories mentioning OLD SPICE and POLO! My dad used Old Spice for YEARS! And I used POLO back during my disco days in the 80's....you could smell it everywhere in the clubs! But I'll tell ya something...it STILL sells!!!

    Now using the fragrance of Corn Beef Hash I've never heard of, but would be VERY willing try it, just to see the reactions I would get!!!

    HAHAHAHHAHAHA!

    Once again, Mr. Dave...I thank you for sharing your wonderful humor here. You truly brighten this place!

    Enjoy your weekend, buddy!

    Thanks for stopping by!

    Sincerely,
    Mr.Stinky

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  9. Bonjour Barbara!

    OMG...I keep thinking of the people who will one day be googling Frebreze and may end up finding this POST!!!!

    *but hey, this may be my big commercial break back into show business - 101 Uses for Febreze

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Yes, my friend...I LOVE this stuff. In fact, I need to get some more today, while I'm out. I think I must keep this company in business!!!

    Thanks for stopping by Barb!

    Always great seeing ya!

    Have a wonderful weekend my friend!

    Love to you and Didier!

    X

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  10. OMG...Dianne...you KILL me woman!!

    Bwwaaaaaahahahaha!

    *and thank you, that's so sweet of you!

    Hey yes, it's funny you mentioned that Swiffer was enhanced with Febreze, because when I was on their website last night, I actually SAW that! I have hardwood floors in my apartment, so I may need to try it!

    Can you just imagine...

    Febreze Dusty Bunnies!!!

    Thank you for stopping by this morning Dianne!

    Love ya, dear lady!

    X

    And have a great weekend!

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  11. Besides chocolate and glow-in-the-dark condoms~ Love that line.

    Hey don't feel bad you have to do what you have to do. At least you you were considerate enough to febreze the crotch area so you didn't smell of crotch rot!


    HA HA HA HA HA

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  12. OMG...Domestic Diva...you are ONE FUNNY LADY!!!!!

    And I'm so glad you understand my INSANE SICK HUMOR!!!!

    SEE!!!...you TOTALLY understand my madness of using Febreze!!!

    WOO! WOO! WOO!

    Thanks for always sharing your wonderful "light" Diva!

    Love having you here!

    Enjoy your weekend!

    XO

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  13. Well Ron I have to say I'm shocked to the core! I can't believe you smoke! (wink)

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  14. PS Forgot to say I use Febreze too - it's great!

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  15. Helloooooo Akelamalu!!!!

    OMG....I was just WAITING for someone to say that!!!!

    HAHAHAHAHAHHA!

    Yes...I know, aren't I WICKED???

    I can't help it, I really enjoy smoking in the evenings, but what's really odd is that I don't even think about it during the day. I've always been like that - a nigh-time smoker.

    So Frebreze comes in VERY handy!!!!

    oooh...and I wasn't sure if you had Febreze in Europe, but you DO!!!

    YAY! Isn't it great?

    Thanks for stopping by this evening, dear lady!

    Have VUNDERBAR weekend!

    XO

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  16. Glow in the dark whaaaaaaaaa??!

    Nice try, once again, but no matter what you say or do, you know we still wubs you.

    (and trust me, mentioning 'stinky #2, does not phase me the slightest. Don't forget I wasted the last 5 years with the Loch Ness Monster of all I.B.S. stinkys...

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  17. Aloha Debi!

    AWWWW SHUCKS!...I thought this post would TOTALLY disenchant my reads into thinking I was a TOTAL BEAST, but I guess not!

    Thanks dear lady...you're a TRUE friend!!!!

    Oh and yes...those glow-in-the-dark condoms come in very handy for when you're in a parked car!

    HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!

    Hey...you're reference to the LOCH NESS MONSTER made me HOWL!!!!

    He sounded like such a delight!

    BURP!

    tee, hee!

    Thanks for stopping by Deb!

    You always make me laugh!

    Enjoy your weekend!

    XO

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  18. Ummmmmmm......

    Well....

    We gotta do what we gotta do?

    k......

    Can I just say that we have a full bottle under the sink?
    I really don't need to share what I spray, do I?

    k....

    We have a full bottle under the sink.

    But I will not be spraying underthingies!

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  19. I love Febreeze too Ron, but I can't say that I have ever used it on my underwear. I've used it on other dirty clothes when I was behind on laundry though, just not the panties. I have to draw the line somewhere.
    My husband smokes too and although he is not supposed to smoke in the house, I catch him doing it all the time. Mostly I follow him around with a bottle of frebreeze, nagging his head off. That's married life though, you gotta irritate each other in some way or it wouldn't be a real marriage.
    (really it's not the smell, it's the fact that it is not good for the kids. That's why I nag him.)
    Anyways, this was funny Ron.

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  20. Good Mornin' Dear Mel!

    Teee, heee!

    No...you don't have to share what you spray Febreze's on, but I'm SOOOO glad to hear you have a bottle!!!!!

    Isn't it FABULOUS stuf???

    And I can safely say, "That it's GREAT for Fruit of the Looms!!!"

    Who knew?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!

    Thanks for stopping by today, Mel!

    Hope you're having a wonderful Saturday!

    XOXOXOOXOXOX

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  21. Hiya Nicole!!!

    SEE!!! it's this stuff GREAT for emergency laundry???

    It's like calling 911 Febreze!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAA!

    I know, the "UNDIE THING" is a bit much, but hell...it worked!!!!

    Yea, I think I remember you saying once in one of your posts that your husband smokes. OMG...that's funny you follow him around the house and spray him with Febreze! Isn't it great for cigarette smoke, though?

    And you're right...it's not good for the kids to be breathing in that smokey stuff!

    I only smoke in my own home, or outside. I also need to have air moving around me when I smoke, either an open window or the ceiling fan on.

    Thanks so much for stopping by today, Nicole!

    It's always great talking with ya!

    Hey...did you hear it's suppose to get warmer in the next few days? We still have a lot of snow laying on the ground, here in the city. This last snowfall was HUGE!!!

    Enjoy your weekend!

    XO

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  22. ronnie: Ha...you my sweet friend make me laugh. The stuff you do is hilarious.

    I so want to hang with you badly. hehehehe

    honey, you're writing your own television show here. Ha...I swear you are. And that pic....ha!

    So I see a show...I LOVE LUCY...like this idea of yours.

    LUCY...what did you do to make my boxers smell so wonderful. It like being back home in Cuba.

    hahaha...

    Lucy being too busy to do laundry because she's out swiping oranges from movie star's backyard trees had an idea. Stands facing Ricky with bottle of Cubanbreeze behind her back...

    Oh nothing Ricky.

    I'm using a new detergent.

    Oh Ricky..you might want to wear your boxers on the inside of your pants.

    What and miss out on the smell of my Cuba. It makes me want o sing Ba-Ba-Loooooo all day.

    Bye honey I'll see you later this evening.

    Ciao ronnie...hehehe. :D

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  23. Dearest Miss Jones!

    OMG...YOU SHOULD BE A SCRIPT WRITER!!!!

    That was freaking BRILLIANT!!!

    Ok, listen...when I DO make this TV into a sitcom, you will be my co-write and will receive 50% of the million dollars we're going to make, ok?

    And we'll use THIS post as our opening pilot show.

    We'll call it:

    Cuban Breeze...Ba-Ba-Looie!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    We'll be rich$$$$$$$

    Honest to god though, I actually DO think my life is like I Love Lucy.

    And it's funny, but when I was doing theater, much of my own comedic timing CAME from watching Lucille Ball!!

    She was a MASTER!!!

    Thanks so much for stopping by this evening my dear friend, Ethel!

    You're a GENIUS!

    Love,
    Lucy

    X

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  24. Good Morning Ron! Just sharing something humorous- thought you may get a kick out of it.

    "I'm A Gazelle!" (Video) http://bitchyblogger.wordpress.com/

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  25. Good Morning DB!

    Hey...thanks for sharing the link!

    OMG, let me guess...

    ...SWAN LAKE?!?!!??!

    Hope you're having a wonderful day!!

    X

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  26. OMG!!! Why is it that every time I come to read your blog, it leaves me in STITCHES... In fact, I have actual stitches on my body right now... I hope they didn't pop open from laughing so hard!!!
    How funny about your spraying Fabreeze on your underwear.... hahahahahhaha.... We don't have Fabreeze here in France, at least, I think we don't - I'll have to check now and I'll get back to you.. We have something else that is a liquid, soft smelling fabric softener.. You know about the HARD water here in France, don't you?!
    Well... I hope you continue to experiment with your bottle of Fabreeze and just keep us posted on what other uses you find...
    P.S. Be careful about spraying it near your skin... I'm afraid that the chemicals in it may be an irritant... God knows you don't want to have an irritated crotch area... We might have to call you FIRE CROTCH or something and Lindsey L. might get jealous!!! hehehehehe
    Have a nice week...
    Leese

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  27. Bonjour Leesa!

    OMG...you're FUNNY GIRL!!!

    Fire Crotch!!!!!

    THAT WAS BRILLIANT!!!!

    No, it didn't irritate my crotch, thank god! I think because it's used in laundry detergent, they must have formulated it with something gentle for the skin. The laundry detergent is FABULOUS too!

    Yes...and the water here in Philly it hard too! And sometimes it comes out of the faucet rusty!!! eeeewww!

    OMG..and why do you have stitches???

    Take care my friend. And thanks for stopping by for a refreshing moment!


    HAHAHAHAHAHA

    XO

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  28. Brilliant! Ron, you should write the Febreeze people and they could use that to sell more product! LOL

    I would keep one of the travel sizes with me at school to spray on myself like perfume after I went out to smoke. It worked perfectly! Love the stuff!

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  29. Howdy Nitbyrd!

    Isn't this stuff the Bomb?

    I went on a retreat once (in the Pocono Mountains) and was one of the only two smokers in the group. And like you, everytime I would go out for a smoke...I spray that shit all over me before I went back inside!!

    And like you said...It WORKED!!!!!

    YEEEHAW!

    Have a great day, Sis!
    X

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