The Freedom in Aging


My mother once reminded me that when I was in my mid-teens, I casually said to her, “I can’t wait until I‘m forty.”

And she laughed, asking me, “What do you mean?”

I said, “I can’t wait until I reach forty years old, because something great is gonna happen to me."

“Yea, right…you’re saying that because you’re fourteen years old, but just wait until you actually GET to forty.”

And I said, “Yea, I can’t wait…..”

To be honest, most of my youth was spent in a constant state of inner struggle and frustration. I was always in a hurry to move ahead; wishing I was somewhere else other than where I was, and wishing I was someone else other than who I was.

I spent ten years of my younger adult life (30-39) trying to dramatically change myself, attempting to remove certain things that I didn’t like; shifting myself into a nice little organized puzzle. But ironically, all of my attempts to change myself, only kept leading me back to the original puzzle with missing pieces. And it took me one more year to finally find those missing pieces…..

You see, I never fully accepted myself for who and where I was at the time.

I was always trying to change myself before I was actually ready.

And most of what I thought needed changing, didn’t need to be changed.

So when I turned forty, I began to relax into my life.

My life was no longer about changing or fixing myself, but became more of a journey in embracing myself. Because as I began to embrace myself, I just naturally changed without any effort on my part, other than the willingness to allow myself to change with my life.

Age has brought me a tremendous amount of freedom….

the freedom to be who and where I am for right now

the freedom to accept and adapted

the freedom to dance with my life - to sometimes lead, and other times follow

the freedom to try something new and learn from my mistakes

the freedom to celebrate my strengths

the freedom to be conscious of my weaknesses

the freedom to laugh at myself

and the freedom to stop touching my life…

…and just let it be…

36 comments

  1. You and I should talk...or at aleast let me look on your paper.

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  2. Wait...is it your birthday today?!
    Happy 40th birthday!! :) MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAH!

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  3. Ron....


    I can sooo hear you loud and clear on this one! I feel the same way, too... I think we went through a lot of things as kids, adolescents, and young adults... I was always searching for something, myself... and looking for change... My comfort came when I became a Christian, because I never grew up with any sort of belief - nothing religious, nothing spiritual... I was searching for answers, peace and meaning in life... I found it back in 1985... But even so, my life was still filled with lots of crises and turmoils... I felt comfort with God... I was in my 30s when I started feeling "in my own"- as in good in my skin and good to be me.
    I am more spiritual now, not really "religious" perse... as I believe in so many different things - like reincarnation, Buddhism, and other religions, and philosophies that guide us through life... I am really contre (or against) the religious doctrine that people become wrapped up in... and I try to be at peace in my life and with others around me. I wonder if part of the success on your journey that has led you to where you are now... has to do with the many healing practices you have learned as well as all that goes with them... I have found a lot of peace within from my yoga, meditations, acupuncture, massage, reflexology and all of that... I have never tried Reiki, but it's something I have wanted to try, of course...
    I'm happy that you have come to the point you have reached in life... It's a good feeling to be here...
    Peace to you...
    Namaste,
    Leesa

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  4. Thank you.

    Dunno that YOU know how much I needed the affirmation.....but I did......

    (((((((((( Ron ))))))))))

    Be all that you ARE cuz that's way good enough!

    :-)

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  5. Amen, Ronnie !
    There comes a time when being bigger,taller, prettier or whetever ends in "er" is tiring.
    You gotta get off the threadmill at on moment or other !!

    That's funny to hear you say what you did at 14. Have I ever wished to be older at your age; SURE.
    For the first reason when you are a teen; to no have to go to school !

    Great post my friend :)
    Remember that your heart is forever young.

    XXXX

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  6. Good Morning Hope!

    Always so nice seeing ya!

    It's funny, but this weekend I was thinking about how differently I feel about things, compared to how I felt when I was younger, and felt really grateful for the gifts that age has given me.

    Aging has been a fascinating journey for me!

    YES...let's talk someday, and we can share our papers!!!

    Thanks for stopping by, dear lady!

    Happy Monday to you!

    XO

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  7. Aloha Debi!

    Oh...you're so cute!!

    No, it's not my birthday, I'm actaully 53...woo! woo!

    This post was sharing what had happened to me when I TURNED the BIG 4-0!

    But, hey...we can pretend that's it's my birthday and celebrate 40 all over again, because it was a GREAT year!!!

    Thanks for stopping by Deb!

    Happy Monday to ya!

    XO

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  8. Bonjour Leesa!

    Happy Monday to ya!

    I agree, I don't think my feelings about being younger are really any different than most humans. I hear so many people share their frustrations and struggles in their young adult life that are very similar to my own.

    I always felt quided when I was child. Guided by something that I couldn't really define, but later discovered was "spiritual guidance." It was something that always "whispered" where to go on my journey.

    I always sensed that the progression of my age/life was something that would reveal more and more "good stuff" if I just allowed it. This is why I think I bonded so well with living in Japan. The Japanese believe that aging reveals the greatest gifts, so this is why they value and respect age.

    The healing practices that I use came much later in my life, but are the things that keep me on my journey, so yes, they are a HUGE part of my support. And this is why I was guided to learn them.

    Reiki is the basis for the other things that I use. It was what I learned first, so it's my compass. I know they must have practitioners in France. If you feel interested, try it...you may find value in it. And if you would like to read more about it, you can always browse through some of the topics in my Foot Notes blog to get a better feel for it.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, Leesa!

    I always love sharing with you!

    Have a great day, my friend!

    Namaste to you too!

    X

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  9. Mornin' Mel!

    You're so welcome!

    And thank YOU for this....

    Be all that you ARE cuz that's way good enough!

    You said it!

    (((((((MEL))))))))

    Happy Monday to ya, dear lady!

    XOXOXOXOOXOX

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  10. Bonjour Barbara!

    OMG...you are so right!!!

    I can't tell you HOW MANY times I wished to be older, just so I wouldn't have to go to school!!!!!

    And I bet every kid thought that at one time or another, right? Especially during a "test day."

    God...I'm so happy to where I am in my life right now. And I truly look forward to seeing what else age brings to me.

    *now if I could only figure a way to reduce the wrinkles between my brows without using BOTOX...that would be FABULOUS!

    HAHAHAHAHHAHA!

    Thanks for stopping by today, Barb!

    And HAPPY MONDAY to ya!

    XXXXXXX

    P.S. Hi to Didier!

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  11. It's only when I passed 40 that I actually felt comfortable in my own skin. Like you I always wanted to change myself, though people loved me exactly as I was. I think a lot of people feel this way. I have to say Reiki has helped me accept myself. :)

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  12. Hi Ron,
    I was happy to find myself with your post and the wisdom that you feel now even looking back.
    I was always "older" than my young years. I felt there were times I was in and out and like you just wanting to get on with it and be an adult. Ha, little did I know what the hell I was talking about.
    I've been practicing Buddhism for over 20 years. I chant everyday yet shabby when it comes to the rest. I always was attracted to stones young on and now have a passion and sort of understanding with them. This weeked was the "Health and Wellbeing Expo" in Paris. I went yesterday and enjoyed just being around all sorts of energy. Some could have stayed home damnit!- kidding!
    Have a nice week,
    Brigitte

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  13. Good Afternoon Akelamalu!

    YES...THAT'S IT EXACTLY!!!!

    It's only when I passed 40 that I actually felt comfortable in my own skin.

    There was something so FREEING about that age, wasn't there?

    And yes, I totally agree with you. Reiki has been the most valuable gift in my life...

    ...acceptance!

    Thanks for dropping by today, my friend. And thank you for sharing your wisdom!

    Happy Monday!

    X

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  14. Bonjour Brigitte!

    It's so wonderful seeing ya!!!!

    Maybe it was the "artistry energy" within both of us, that made us as children want to "get on with it."

    I think many artist have old souls, and they feel bored with the beginning stages of life, because they sense the richness of the inner knowledge that lies ahead!?!

    Oh, that's wonderful you practice Buddhism! I'm not a total practicing Buddist, but I do use chanting now and then...and find it incredibly POWERFUL!! I also have about 12 Buddha statues all over my apartment. I find them very calming to look at, while I meditate.

    And it's funny that you mentioned stones, because I know of several Reiki practitioners who use them during a session. Stones contain a great deal of energy, so they find them very supportive during a Reiki treatment - plus there so beautiful, aren't they?

    Hey, the Health and Wellbeing Expo sounded neat!! I bet you could REALLY feel the energy there!!!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing on this post, Brigitte!

    You've added much!

    Happy Monday!

    XO

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  15. Really? Well then, you're a smokin' hot 53 year old Chippendale! ;)
    Ssssssssssss.....

    (and did you see on Leesa's Starbucks post on her blog about our evil plans to take you away?)

    insert maniacal sinister laughter...bwahahaaaaaaahaaaaaa

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  16. Aloha again Debi!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    OMG...you're WILD, woman!!!!

    Yes...yes...I actually posted my age on this blog. If you scroll down to the bottom (the lower level I call it), you'll find my little bio.

    And no...I didn't see that post on Leesa's blog. I'll go back later tonight and look for it!

    GOSH...wouldn't it be FUN to all meet in Paris (you, barb, leesa, brigitte, and I) and do coffee and a muffin???

    Let's do it!!

    Hope you had a great day at work, Deb!

    Hey...it must be already TOMORROW in Hawaii, right?

    X

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  17. Beautiful post, Ron dear heart. One of my most favorites!

    I am a capricorn, and I read that some caps are old souls when young and young souls when old. OMG...that so fits me!! hee, hee

    I am much more child like now than when a child..free spirited and just "letting be" and every day is magical!!

    It seems, that I (among many) happen to love who you are!!

    Butterfly kisses to you! :)

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  18. Good Evening Dearest Gypsy-Heart!

    Hey...you're NOT going to believe this, but earlier this evening (about an hour ago) I was meditating and sharing some Reiki with myself and suddenly YOU popped into my thoughts...

    ...and here you are!!!

    I think you're absolutely "right on" about Caps being old souls, because the friend I've spoken to you about, who lives in Florida, she TOO is a Cap and she TOO feels like an old soul.

    And it's funny that you mentioned feeling more "child-like" now, than you did as a child, because Joy and I use to LOVE to get together on our days off and go shopping in Target and act like giggy little kids. We use to call it our "Silly Day."

    And what FUN it was!

    Thanks so much for stopping by this evening, dear Gypsy friend!

    Later tonight while I'm sipping my wine, I'll giggle and think of you!!!

    tee, hee!

    Love ya!

    XXXXX

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  19. Bravo! Very well said, Ron.

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  20. dear ron, this is beautifully said...thank you for writing it for us all!
    XO

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  21. "To be honest, most of my youth was spent in a constant state of inner struggle and frustration. I was always in a hurry to move ahead; wishing I was somewhere else other than where I was, and wishing I was someone else other than who I was>"

    I feel that everyone in life especially in their early adolescents to young adulthood often feel this way.

    We spend so much time hating the way we look, wishing we had this, why didn't we have that? Only to look back and realize what we did have.

    Its crazy how much we end up hating our circumstance in life yet as we mature later in life we realize what we were looking for all the time was starting back at us in the mirror.

    As I am in my newly 30's I realize things I tolerated or hated about myself 5, 10, 15, or even 20 years ago are different then how I view myself today.

    Life is learning to love yourself through all the trials you go through. No matter what you are the only person who is your biggest advocate.

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  22. Hiya Chrissy

    Thank you, dear lady.

    I've always felt that there is something to CELEBRATE about aging.

    It brings peace.

    Thank you so much for stopping by!

    Always great seeing ya!

    X

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  23. Hellooooooo Dear Linda!

    You're very welcome my friend.

    Aging is like wine...

    ...it keeps getting better!

    So cheers!

    And thank you so much for stopping by this evening!

    XOXOXOXOXO

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  24. Hi Domestic Diva!

    WOW!...you've shared so much wonderful wisdom in your comment.

    Your words made me instantly remember the final line that Dorothy spoke in the movie, The Wizard of Oz....

    ..."Happiness is always in your own backyard"

    And isn't to something, how the things we may have hated about ourselves, end up being the things we grow to love!

    And it's just as you said....

    ....learning to love ourselves.

    Thank you for stopping on this post!

    You've added much!

    XO

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  25. I certainly can enjoy hearing about any and everyone who is comfortable with their age and being who and where they are in life!
    Part of me feels that way, but another just does not. Hubs asked me the other night if I could be younger, would I. I wasn't sure how to answer it. I think I said something that the only reason I'd go back to a younger age is because of my weight and I had less trouble in that area then. He said but weight is something you can work on if that's all that bothers you. And I found myself having to admit that I really don't want to work that hard anymore. I guess it's just about accepting yourself for who you are. And lately, with that family drama it's shaken me a little bit because as I'm moving past the needing acceptance from others stage, I have other issues to work on. LOL
    I'll be 45 this year. And I guess that's not so horrible. LOL I've been married 25 years, have a great family, and a wonderful little grandson, and lots of good friends, and a certain amount of experience and wisdom, so to have all those things, I HAVE to be this age!!

    Have a great day.

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  26. A very deep and soul revealing post you have today. Nothing funny in my response to this. You have hit upon the secret of the journey. It took you only forty years to realize what others never experience in their entire lives. The wisdom of life and love has many benefits when you sit back and take notice.
    Thank You, my friend.

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  27. I'm 53 too, it's a good number - it behaves itself, doesn't make any grand shows like 50 or 60 - just a good solid number :)

    I love "stop touching your life - let it be"

    you are far wiser than a man of your tender years should be

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  28. Good Morning Dianne!

    YAY!!!!...another 53'er!!!!

    WOO! WOO! WOO!

    "stop touching your life - let it be"

    I actually read that in a book many, many years ago. And when I hear it...it had the same effect on me, as you.

    I loved it!

    I can't remember what book it was, but I know it had something to do with acceptance. And everytime I start TOUCHING and MESSIN' with my life...I remember that.

    It's ALWAYS so great seeing ya here Dianne!

    Thanks for dropping by dear lady!

    oooh....and Happy 53 to ya!!!

    X

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  29. Howdy Mr.Dave!!!!

    It's always great hearing ALL your responses, buddy!

    Hey, I like what you shared here...

    The wisdom of life and love has many benefits when you sit back and take notice.

    ...because for me, it was when I finally sat back and took notice, I saw the gift in aging!

    Thanks for stopping my friend!!

    Always great sharing with ya!

    X

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  30. Helloooooo Crystal Chick!

    I really LOVE the last sentence you shared in your comment, because it's exactly what I was saying with this post....

    I've been married 25 years, have a great family, and a wonderful little grandson, and lots of good friends, and a certain amount of experience and wisdom, so to have all those things, I HAVE to be this age!!

    That's it!!!!!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your wisdom on this post, M!

    Have great day!

    X

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  31. ronnie: How did you get past my radar...i didn't see you posted.

    As for la vida...it's loca. hehehe.

    Isn't it something. When we are in our 20s we strive for things...avant-guard. And when we are pretty well set in our ways...like i am in my 30s, we still change with influences and from the intelligentsia, but it isn't with the urgency as it was before.

    I don't know what you kept or what you shouldn't have thrown away of yourself...but I quite like the ronnie you are now...and if you change that's okay...I'm pretty sure you're stuck with me. hehehehe

    Ciao ronnie, this is fabulous post.

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  32. I'm with you, Ron. I'll be 52 next month and while my body may be rebelling a little against aging, my soul sure isn't. I'm not sure you could pay me to be in my 20s again! LOL

    Great post! (and I'll be a first time grammy next month, if not sooner. I hear its DA BOMB!!)

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  33. La Vida Loca Miss Jones!

    No worries, my friend...OMG...since I've gone back to work this month, I've been crazy busy with the Valentine's holiday coming up. My head is in SPIN!!!

    ooh, and do you remember that 80's disco song...

    ...my head is in a spin, my feet don't touch the ground...

    Anyhoo....YES!!! You said it perfecto....

    ....it's that urgency to change or move, that's absent from my life. I mean, I still get impatient at times, but I'm quickly reminded to just go with the flow and let life reveal to me.

    And if I do that, my life will show me what to keep, and what to get rid of.

    Thanks SOOOOO MUCH for stopping by on this post and for sharing your wisdom, Miss Jones.

    You've added MUCHO!

    Ciao bella

    X

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  34. Hola Grace!!!!

    First of all...CONGRATS on your soon-to-be a GRAMMY!!!!!!

    Holy cow...you must be SO HAPPY!!!

    One of my dear blogger friends, just had her first child last month and it was quite moving!

    I LOVE NEW LITTLE BABIES!!!

    I especially love the way they smell!

    And secondly...CONGRATS on turning 52 next month!!! That's right...you're an Aries!!!!

    And yes, I totally understand what you mean about the body changes that occur with aging. DAMN...I think I need to start wearing binoculars when I read, because my eye sight has definately shifted.

    But it's as you shared...

    ...even with the physical changes, I would never wish to be any younger. I love where I'm at.

    Thanks for stopping by this evening Grace!

    Always such pleasure sharing with ya!

    X

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  35. So you did this too! I always said, "I can't wait to be 40." My Mom thought I was nuts! I hated my teen years (but then who really enjoyed that). In my 20's I was so self absorbed and obsessed with climbing the corporate ladder, I had no time for self discovery. Then my 30's were spent having babies and chasing toddlers and I was knee deep Mommyhood. Now I will be 40 this year. I finally get my chance to breathe and discover my true self. I have begun the journey and it's amazing! Yippee!

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  36. Greetings Zeninyou

    Welcome!

    Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to share a comment!

    It's so nice meeting you!

    Hey...I really like your name, that's so cool!

    And YIPEEE!!!!

    You said it, there's nothing like coming to that point in you life, where you can finally breathe and let go to yourself!

    You sound so happy! And I'm happy for you!

    You go, girl! And enjoy the journey!

    Please stop by anytime!

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