I Seafood....and I Gag

Wednesday afternoon, as I was walking past the front desk in the lobby of my apartment building, I happen to notice a book that the security guard was reading, entitled, “Japanese Cuisine.”

And it wasn’t just the title that caught my eye, but also the book cover photo.

A plate full of SUSHI.

(gag me with a spoon, please)

I know that 99% of the world is in LOVE with sushi, however, if I were to be ship wrecked on a deserted island and had only one choice of food to eat in order not to starve (that being sushi), I would eat spiders.

First, I can’t eat anything in it’s presentation that resembles a round mosaic tile.

And B) I can’t stand the taste of anything that was born in or lives anywhere near the sea.

And when I say that to someone the first thing that comes out of their mouth is, “Well…not even lobster or crab?”

*Duh*

Hello?…did you even HEAR what I said? ANYthing to do with the sea!!!

I know that seafood is healthy and wonderful for you, and I do eat healthy, but I’d much rather eat something like a veggie burger with some hummus and cucumber, and then have a cigarette.

(yes, I SMOKE. So, please feel free to nail me to a cross and put thorns on my head)

Anyway…

…the point of this post is to share with you what it was like to live in the magnificent country of Japan for three months and see pictures of nothing but tuna, octopus, squid, eel, and salmon dominating every menu in a restaurant.

(I felt like Ariel in The Little Mermaid)

My only saving grace was that I was living in Kobe, so I was delighted to eat some of the most fabulous beef while everyone else fed on the flesh of Flipper.

One night after our show I went to a restaurant with some of the cast members. And while we enter the restaurant, there was a cute little wooden bridge that we had to walk over, which extended beyond a pond that was filled with various fish swimming about.

And I thought to myself, “How cool…such wonderful decor for a seafood restaurant.”

After we were seated the waiter brought over some menus so we could select our meals.

(I think that night I ordered vegetable tempura)

Of course, everyone else ordered SEAfood.

My friend David order something off the menu that he seemed very excited about.

About ten minutes after the waiter took our orders, I saw the chief come out of the kitchen and walk past our table carrying a FISHING NET. He continued walking over to the wooden bridge, where he began fishing in the pond like Captain Flounder.

I watched, as he carefully searched for the proper fish…and then SCOOP!

(he had apparently caught what he was looking for)

He then walked past our table again smiling at David, as the fish was flipping and flopping inside the net; spraying me with water.

About a minute later, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the chief take a cleaver off the kitchen wall and proceeded to behead his recent catch.

WAAAACK!

I sat there in horror, as I tapped David on the shoulder and whispered…

“Hey….I just saw your dinner giving HEAD.”







Have a sushi weekend everyone!

X

30 comments

  1. That would traumatize me for life too, I think.
    There are two companies of supermarkets in particular here that I **cannot stand** because of the STENCH that comes from the seafood departments. The smell seriously makes me want to hurl, therefore I cannot shop there.

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  2. OMG you are too funny. I died reading the fishing expedition. ROFLMAO. good thing I had a ciggy lit up to recover. LOL. You must be meat potatoes and veggies. Remind me if you ever come to Hawai'i not to recommend a sushi bar for ya Captain Nemo LOL. Aloha

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  3. So many people hate sushi or seafood. I, on the other hand, love it.

    I guess it's not as bad as being vegeterian. How anyone can live without steak or a burger is beyond me. Steak is my comfort food. Mmmm...

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  4. He who must be ignored eats seafood--fish and chips and all that....*shudder*

    *shudder*

    OMG

    *shudder*

    I like pea pods.
    I'm sure that counts for something. LOL

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  5. Ah, such memories. Only a Kobe resident can understand the taste of that fantastic beef. Great post. Sorry I don't share your concerns about SEAfood. Japan was the best place to get to know that, as you can imagine. Nice to see your blog first thing this morning...

    EFH

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  6. Clever post title today! ;) hehe

    Living in Japan for those months must have been so wonderful in other ways that the food was probably not even a concern. But yes, they do love fish dishes, anything from the sea!
    My hubby adores sashimi. Give him raw slabs of tuna, salmon, or squid and he's in heaven. We've gone out quite a bit so he can indulge in delights from the sushi bar. Me, I can't eat it! Ick. Bleh. I like the avocado roll or cucumber roll but nothing raw for me thanks.
    I do like some seafood. I'll eat crab, lobster, scallops and shrimp. But definitely don't like clams, mussels, or oysters. Eeww, hubs like the oysters raw too.

    Mmmm.... kobe beef! I have only ever had one small sample of the cold lunchmeat variety and it was yummy so I can just imagine what a real dinner of it must be like.
    Just the way the beef is raised makes such a difference. If we actually watched what goes on in our food industry before buying, some of our habits would probably change. There's a movie coming out called Food, Inc. I think it's opening is next month. It shows what goes on in the factory farms and talks about genetic engineering, harm to the environment, etc.

    I heart vegetable tempura!!! And now I'm hungry for THAT! But I'm only planning a Starbucks run this morning so it looks like I'll just be having a multi-grain bagel instead.

    Have a terrific weekend.

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  7. Aloha Debi!

    OMG...you said it!

    It's the SMELL of seafood that makes me gag. I know people say that ALL seafood doesn't have an odor, but to me....it does. So, I can't even get past the smell to eat it. It's not that I've never tried fish, I have, but I find it GROSS.

    When I lived in FLorida, my father would go fishing and bring home fresh flounder, snapper, etc. And my mother would clean and cook it immediately....and I could STILL smell it!

    eeeewwwwwww!

    Great seeing ya, Deb!

    Thanks for stopping by and enjoy your weekend!

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  8. funny post. u r humourous

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  9. Aloha Thom!

    OMG...please don't tell me you're another ciggy smoker???

    (that makes two of us left in the world)

    Hey if I ever come to Hawaii, I'll eat pineapples, bananas, mangos, coconuts...I LOVE fruit!

    It's weird, because I really like different types of food. I enjoy eating "health-food stuff", burgers, chicken, veggies, stews, soups, pasta dishes, sweets. I eat a little bit of everything (of course, except seafood).

    As long as I'm not overboard with anything, my eating habits seem to work for me.

    I eat like a true Italian. I eat whatever I feel passionate about.

    Salute'!

    Always great seeing ya, Thom!

    Have a great weekend...Aloha!

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  10. Hey Roberto!

    That's weird, because I sometimes feel like I'm one of the only people who DOESN'T like seafood!?!?

    When I lived in Florida, people thought I was NUTS because I wouldn't eat seafood!?!? My family LOVES it!!!

    I feel like a freak of nature.

    OMG...you said it!!! Don't you just LOVE a great burger??? There's a place near where I live that has the most amazing burgers. I go their once a month for my burger fix!!

    Great seeing ya, Roberto!

    Have a great weekend!

    Hope all is going well in SHOES!!!

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  11. OMG..Mel...your comment made me LAUGH!!!

    Pea pods.

    ME TOO!

    I LOVE pea pods!!

    But seafood????

    *shudder*

    *shudder*

    and

    *shudder*

    hahhahahaahhaha!

    Have a wonderful weekend, dear lady!

    Thanks for stopping by this morning!

    *give a hug to the "little one."

    {{{{{{hug}}}}}}}

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  12. Howdy Expat!

    So nice to see ya first thing this morning, Sir!

    Isn't the taste of beef in Kobe like nothing you've ever had before in your life???

    Honesty, I'm not a HUGE beef eater, but the way the Japanese people raise and care for the cows, definitely affects how it tastes...which makes you want to go back for more!

    Yummy!

    Have wonderful weekend, Expat!

    Thank you for dropping by!

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  13. Good Morning Crystal Chick!

    OMG...aren't the multi-grain bagels from Starbucks HEAVEN??? Last Christmas when I was working those looooong-ass hours, I would pop into Starbucks and treat myself to one everyday.

    NIRVANA!!!

    You ALWAYS have such wonderful information to share! Thank you for letting me know about that movie (Food, Inc) - sounds GREAT!

    If you were to ever taste a beef dinner in Kobe, you would say it was a "spiritual experience." Not only in the way that it tastes, but also in the way that you can FEEL the care that went into raising the beef.

    Oh boy...I bet your hubby adores seafood - especially sushi. And I bet it can tell GOOD sushi, too.

    eeeewww... raw oysters, clams, mussels...

    Gag me with a MAJOR spoon!!!!!

    bleh!

    Ok...all this talk of seafood is making me need my morning cup of coffee!!!!

    Always vunderbar seeing ya, neighbor!

    Thank you for stopping by!

    Gosh...can you believe the weekend is already here??? I think it's going to be a nice and coolish one too!

    Coffee Cheers!

    Mr. Sushi

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  14. Greetings Nidzzi!

    Welcome!

    Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to share a comment - nice meeting you!

    Glad you enjoyed this post.

    And YES!!!... I have tried Thai food and enjoyed IT! When I lived in Florida, a good friend of mine and I would sometimes go to a Thai restaurant and eat these amazing lemon chicken salads. I LOVED the peanut sauce!!

    Please stop by anytime!

    Have a terrific weekend!

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  15. Hi Ron,
    You know me; I lived in Hawaii for years, where most of the peeps are fish & sea food eaters.
    Did that make me one too?

    No, and for over there,I'm odd.
    Though I have eaten sushi in the past. I don't feel the craving for sushi living here.

    Even here in France it's very rare that I eat fish. And NEVER anything that lived in a shell prior to being consumed.

    See you soon my friend XX

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  16. Bonjour Barbara!

    ...And NEVER anything that lived in a shell prior to being consumed....

    LOVE IT!! I think I'll use that!

    Oh boy, that's right....HAWAII! It's the same way for me having lived in Florida where seafood is plentiful!

    Well...different strokes for different folks! That's what makes the world go round!!!

    Thanks for dropping by, Barb!

    Have an awesome weekend!

    X to you and Didier!!

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  17. Supposedly, kobe cows are hand massaged and fed beer soaked grain, but then again, that could all be urban legend. As for lobsters, well, they're technically the cockroaches of the sea, so I understand the aversion. All that said, my wife hates seafood, so when I get the chance, I always overindulge.

    Oddest sushi roll I've eaten: fugu (Japanese pufferfish). It's lethally poisonous if not prepared correctly. Chefs require special training to handle it, and restaurants in the U.S. must have a license. Why anyone (myself included) would try this stuff when a spicy tuna roll usually comforts the palate defies logic.

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  18. Hey MVD....

    ...As for lobsters, well, they're technically the cockroaches of the sea...

    YES! Which is WHY I would never put them anywhere near my mouth!

    eeeeeeewwwwwww!

    Your right, bud...that's exactly how Kobe cows are cared for. It's incredible. When I first ate it, I actually thought there was something wrong with it because it tastes so odd. Come to find out....THAT was the way REAL beef is suppose to taste - PURE.

    OMG...you are one BRAVE man! How you ate fuju sushi I'll never know?!?

    I think I'd rather chance SPIDERS!

    tee, hee.

    Thanks for stopping by, bud!

    Always a BLAST!

    Enjoy your weekend

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  19. Ohhhhh... that's HILAR-IOUS!! I liked the last sentence the best!! heheheh....
    Hey Ron, until I was about 23 years old, I had never eaten fish/seafood. The first time I tried fish was at the Charthouse Resto in Santa Monica and it was DELISH!!! Since then, I can eat some types of fish like salmoun, tuna, cod, sole... but not other types of seafood... To me, lobsters resemble cockroaches... BIG ONES, so I call them "the cockroaches of the sea!" YUCKKK... bottom-feeding scavengers!! YUCK on crab, and anything that comes in a shell... DOUBLE YUCK!! How the HECK can anyone in their right mind eat mussles, clams, oysters, shrimp... etc... OH... gag me with a SPOON!! Shrimp to me is like big pink larvae grubs!! Other than that.... I'm okay with fish, as I said.... When I go out for sushi... I like to order vegetarian sushi dishes.
    Be careful if you come over to my blog, I have a few pics of raw salmoun!! I put them up last night so just skim by them, please!
    Take care and have a GREATTT weekend!!
    Hugs to you!
    Leesa

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  20. Bonjour Leese!

    GAG WITH A SPOON TOO!

    I can ALMOST understand eating things like baked flounder or broiled salmon, but OYTERS and CLAMS?????

    They're RAW!!!!

    OMG...my father would eat them by the DOZENS and I would sit there with my eyes closed!!! Oysters and clams look like TONGUES!!!

    eeewwwwwwww!

    I would be willing to try and eat vegetarian sushi, if it weren't for the SEAWEED wrap. I've tasted seaweed before and I thought I was going to vomit!!

    ooooh....and another thing....how the hell can people eat SARDINES???

    BLEH!

    Ok...when I stop by your blog tomorrow, I'll close my eyes as I scroll past the RAW SALMON!

    HAHAHAAHAHA!

    Thanks so much for dropping by today, Leesa!

    Have an AWESOME weekend!!!!

    {X}

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  21. I love any sort of fish I have to say and would really like to try sushi. However I realise it's not to everyone's taste. I think it would upset me to see my dinner swimming about then get beheaded just like when I pass a field full of lambs I try not to equate them with the delicious roast leg of lamb on my dining room table! :0

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  22. And I thought the lobster tank was bad!

    You know, I always said I hated sushh but I had never tried it. When I finally did, I really liked it. It shocked even me!

    But if I had to pick Kobe beef over raw fish, beef would win every time. YumMEE!

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  23. Hi Akelamalu!

    Yup!....I AGREE!!!

    I don't want to SEE my dinner alive before I eat it!!!

    hahahahahaha!

    Thanks for dropping by, dear lady.

    Hope you enjoyed your little jaunt yesterday!

    Have a great weekend!

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  24. Hiya Chrissy!

    The lobster tank was NOTHING compared to this!

    I was totally shocked, because I thought the fish pond was there strictly for the ombiance!?

    OMG...kobe beef from Kobe is HEAVEN!!!

    Hope you're enjoying your weekend!

    Thanks for stopping by!

    Seafully yours,
    The Little Mermaid

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  25. I'd rather eat dirt than raw fish. Seriously, do we really need to eat freakin' raw fish since man found out about fire? It just skeeves me out. However, throw some shrimp, crabs or lobster in a pot with Old Bay and I'm there! Yummy!

    Also, if I were in Kobe, you can bet your ass I'd be eating cow every day. Some salad to cut the fat and a cigarette to aid with digestion. ;)

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  26. Howdy Nitebyrd!

    I was just this minute over at YOUR blog checking out your NEW TEMPLATE again....I LOVE IT!!!

    OMG...you are TOO DAMN FUNNY!!!

    Thank god there are a few of us who SMOKE!

    And you would LOVE Japan. Not only for the Kobe beef, but everyone...and I mean EVERYONE smokes! I've never seen such a smoking place in all my life! And yet, they're the most healthiest country in the world!

    Thanks for stopping by, Sis!

    Always a HOOT!

    Hope you had a great weekend!

    X ya!

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  27. may i once again apologize for being tardy with a comment? my body is not cooperating with me these days!! this post is hysterical right up to the last sentence!! lolol, I knew you were going to say they were fishing for the diners but was still horrified by the idea...I have been to one restaurant where they did this however it was discreet! perhaps in Japan?? who knows...

    anyway, I love some shellfish but am not a great fish eater either altho I try for the anti-inflammatory properties the omega3's have...I do get tired of everything seeming to smell like day old fish, sigh...it seems no matter what I do, it stinks!!!
    and on that note.....
    :)
    xoxoxo

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  28. you must be on autopilot with your posts because i commented on this a couple of hours ago and do not see it or your answer and so i will go to bed in a very disappointed fashion.....sigh.......hoping you are not mad at me for being such a lame commenter lately! although I was FIRST on the next gum post! YAY!

    filled with regret....well, you realize I am grinning, right?
    xoxoxoxxoxooxoxox

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  29. Howdy Linda!

    No, my dear....I could NEVER be mad at you, it's just that I had some things that needed to get done this morning, so I started answering comments a little later than usual.

    Hey, you know what? I totally forgot about the anti-inflammatory properties of the Omega3's in seafood!

    And your right, that's the thing about seafood...not matter what you do...it STILL smells STINKY!

    Bleh!

    The thing that horrified me about this experience, was that I actually SAW the chief catch the fishy and then behead it! I've seen the lobster tanks in some seafood.restaurants, but I never witnessed their execution!

    Hope you're athritis is feeling better, dear lady!

    Sending healing energy your way!

    {{{{{XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO}}}}}}

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