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As many of my longtime readers already know, I do not enjoy summertime.

It’s not exactly summer that I don’t enjoy, but rather the heat.

If I had a choice of either freezing to death in Antarctica or being scorched to death in the Mohjave Desert…Antarctica would always win.

Heat for me means anything above 75 degrees.

Comfortable for me means nothing higher than 50.

I know that most people love summer and would much rather be hot than cold, but what can I tell you?

I’m a freak of nature.

Not only does the heat bother me, but I also can’t stand how happy and wired everyone in the city becomes during the summer.

It’s like they just took two hits of Ecstasy and snorted a gram of cocaine simultaneously.

HAPPY! HAPPY! HAPPY!

I prefer cold, gray, drizzly days when I can walk down the street with my umbrella and a cup of Starbucks coffee while tap dancing in large puddles to Singing in the Rain.

Either that, or walking to the grocery store in my flip-flops during a snow blizzard while singing Frosty the Snowman.

I’ve got to admit though, so far the summer heat has not been bad.

And for that I am very grateful.

In fact, this June has been one the coolest June’s I’ve ever been through.

I realize however, that eventually it’s going to get hot and I’ll have to subject you to my once a year kvetch-post about suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous HEAT.

But in the meantime, please know that I’m summer lovin’ and having a blast; eagerly anticipating the day when then the temperature reaches a glorious 102 degrees, and I’m sitting in my apartment eating a nice cold piece of watermelon while spitting seeds out the window; trying to hit pedestrians on the sidewalk who appear to be so FRIGGIN' HAPPY about summer.

I know, just say it…

…I’m a bitch.







46 comments:

  1. If I was a pedestrian I would pick up that seed and put it in my mouth and shoot it right back at you Biatch. LOL. Seriously summer is my worst season also. When you get hot, depending upon what kind of hot I'm in the mood for mind you, it's hard to get cool...and I don't care what anyone says it's hard to get cool and stay cool when it's so frickin hot out. LOL. Love the smoking dog...Did she take simultaneous hits by chance or is tha the ciggy after being hot? LOL Aloha

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  2. Dammit, Ron...now I'm not gonna get that song outta my head.
    BU...hut....ahhhhhh...those su...HU...mmmmer..naaaaaahaIIIIIIIIghts

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  3. Dang.

    Makes me wish I had a two story house...

    Oh well. LOL

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  4. How in Gawds name did you ever survive Florida???
    I was lovin Philly because it was a balmy 5 degrees cooler than where i left..
    Oh dear heart, head north! VT or some where not maine, those Black flies are beasties...
    You go on and kavetch all you want, we in the sweating pool, will throw icey cubes your way!
    LOL

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  5. Now on some things we're like twins separated at birth Ron but you know we are opposites as far as heat and cold are concerned. It's been 30+ Farenheit here today and I just love it!!! :)

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  6. Aloha Thom!

    ...I don't care what anyone says it's hard to get cool and stay cool when it's so frickin hot out...

    THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!

    My sentiments EXACTLY!!!!

    Don't you LOVE the smoking dog???

    I found her online last minute.

    And yes...that's the ciggy after being in HEAT!

    bwahahahahahahahaha!

    Thanks for dropping by, buddy!

    ALWAYS enjoyed!

    Have a great day!

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  7. Aloha Debi

    Hey...didn't you LOVE that movie??

    I saw the show on Broadway when I first moved to NYC back in the early 70's, so Grease will always be very special to me.

    I think I look like John Travolta and could play Danny, don't you?

    NOT!

    Great seeing ya, Deb!

    Have great day!

    those su...HU...mmmmer...naaaaahaIIIIIIGHTS!

    Go girl!

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  8. Howdy Mel!

    I personally invite you to come visit me this summer so we can spit seeds together!

    It's SO MUCH FUN!!!!

    Actually, it's just a fantasy because as you know...I don't believe in SPITTING!!

    hhaahahaahaha!

    Have a great day, dear lady!

    Mucho thanks for stopping by!

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  9. Morning Lady Sorrow!

    It's very strange because the Florida heat never bothered me until about 4 years before I moved north. I could sit at the beach in the hot sun for hours on end and LOVED it. But gradually my body started to detest heat.

    *it was when right around the time I hit male menopause.

    bwhahahahahahaha!

    Yes, right around the time you were visiting Philly the temperatures were FLAWLESS. It's still really nice.

    No...I think the best place for me is ALASKA!

    Thanks for letting me kvetch, dear friend. And PLEASE, by all means...throw those ice cubed my way!!!!

    Always great seeing ya, Sorrow!

    X ya!

    The Penguin

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  10. Hi Akelamalu!

    I know, dear friend....

    ...this is where you and I differ.

    Hey...but that's ok. We can't all enjoy the same things, right?

    I know this is your favorite time of the year, so ENJOY!

    And just think of me melting on the pavement saying....

    ...."Oh, what a world....what a world".....

    hahahahahahaha!

    Thanks for stopping by, m'dear.

    And thanks for hearing me kvetch!

    X ya!

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  11. You know, Ron, I'm right there with you concerning summer. I get Seasonal Affective Disorder on Memorial Day and throw celebratory firecrackers on the autumn equinox. Perhaps you'd be more comfortable ice fishing in Nome, Alaska; pipe in mouth, igloo nearby, happy Eskimos waving. Of course, I’m not sure the Eskimo population could sustain your income from fragrance sales.

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  12. Yep, you both got the hottie Italian goin' on. Oh and who can forget baby bear Tommy :D

    (though capone is a whole another story >> TOAD!)

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  13. Although I like seeing the sun, I'm not a fan of the heat. I'd rather it be cold and sunny than warm and grey. It gets too damn hot. And there are so many summer expectations.

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  14. I grew up in Vegas, talk to me about HOT.

    The summer here in the DC area has not been too bad.

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  15. Hey MVD!

    ...Seasonal Affective Disorder....

    THAT IS HYSTERICAL and BRILLIANT!

    Thank you for "naming" our disorder because now I'm going to use it!!!!

    I had a feeling you more of a Fall-Winter guy. I lived a few summers in NYC too and brother, it is NOT pleasant. However, once Autumn and Winter kicks in...there's no place that looks and feels better than that city. It looks like a photograph!

    Hey, listen...it's funny you mention Alaska and selling fragrances, because I seriously asked my boss once if they sold out product there.

    She just laughed at me!

    Thanks for stopping by, buddy!

    Always a pleasure!

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  16. Hey Debi!

    Thanks, girl!

    Maybe in 2010 they'll do a Grease Part II and I'll play Danny in the present!!!!

    *gotta get my white t-shirts, jeans, and leather jacket out of storage!

    Go Grease Lighting'!!!!!!!

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  17. Hi Kim!

    Welcome!

    Thanks for stopping and sharing a comment.

    Your comment expressed my own feelings about summer heat, perfectly!!!

    I don't mind sunshine, but PLEASE...NO HEAT!!!

    And there's nothing better than a cold winter day and having the sun shine!

    You're right...I never thought of it that way, but there are too many summer expectations!

    So nice meeting you, Kim. Please stop by anytime!

    Enjoy your summer!

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  18. Hey Funny Girl!

    I lived in Las Vegas for a summer performing in show, and you are SOOOO right about the heat.

    HOLY SHIT!!!

    It's a totally different heat than in the north - very dry - but very deceiving because you don't realized you're getting sunburnt. I got the worst sunburn of my life there.

    Thanks for dropping by, FG!

    Enjoy your evening!!!

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  19. You're scaring me. I HATE HATE HATE the summer, too. In fact, I don't even date in the summer because if I make plans, I'll just have to cancel if it's too hot and there's no A/C in sight. And then everyone thinks I'm a bitch!

    We should just move to San Diego. But then we would miss the seasons..never mind. Let's just stay where we're at and whine about it.

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  20. Hiya Chrissy!

    SEE!!!!!

    We're TWINS!!!!!!!!

    OMG...you made me HOWL at your mention that you don't date during the summer in fear of no A/C!

    The first thing I ask anyone before going anywhere during the summer is...

    ..."Do they have air-conditioning??"...

    And I REFUSE to sit outside at a sidewalk cafe and eat in the sweltering heat! I don't understand people who can do this!?!?

    And you're right Chrissy, because for as much as I HATE summer here, I would SO miss the change of seasons living west.

    So let's just stay here and WHINE!

    HA!

    Thanks for stopping by, Twin!

    X

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  21. "I prefer cold, gray, drizzly days when I can walk down the street with my umbrella and a cup of Starbucks coffee while tap dancing in large puddles to Singing in the Rain.

    Either that, or walking to the grocery store in my flip-flops during a snow blizzard while singing Frosty the Snowman."

    ... and this is why we get along so well. Summer is so overrated.

    - R

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  22. The radio station the boss insists on playing at work has to play 'You're the one that I want'...every frickin' day.
    It's bad enough I'm showing my age when I know all the words and to try to stay awake/sane sing along.
    But I'll change it around just for you:
    I got chills they're multiplyin' and I'm loooooooosin control
    For the power RON'S supplyin'
    it's electrifyin' (electrifyin')
    You better shape up 'cuz I need a man (not!!)
    And my heart is set on RONnnnnn.
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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  23. Hey Roberto!

    So listen...the next time you're in Philly on a cold, drizzly day, let's you and I grab a cup of coffee at Starbucks and tap dance in puddles, ok?

    Summer is so overrated.

    AGREE!

    Thanks for stopping by, pal!

    Always enjoyed!

    Sincerely,
    Frosty the Snowman

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  24. OMG...Debi....YOU ROCK!!!!

    And I see that you've been "thinking Grease" ever since you read this post!!!

    Me too!

    I was singing it all during work today and everyone was saying, "What the fuck is up with you, Ron??"

    I was even dancing!

    Maybe you and I should do a world tour of the show and you can play Sandy and I'll play Danny!

    *and maybe Barbara can play Rizzo!?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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  25. hahaha, the dog pic is so funny!

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  26. Nah, she's not the Rizzo type. LOL. I think she'll do for Frenchie though.

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  27. Darling, come to Maine!
    It's been raining for three weeks and my bones are aching.

    You'd love it.
    :)

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  28. Hi Irtiza!

    Welcome! Thanks for stopping by!

    So, glad you enjoyed the photo.

    It reminded me of my alter-ego!

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Enjoy your day!

    Stop by anytime!

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  29. Hey Debi!

    YOU'RE RIGHT....FRENCHIE!

    "Beauty School Drop out....no graduation day for you!"

    *and I can be her understudy since I already went to beauty school!!

    HAHAHHAHAHA!

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  30. Mornin' Kate!

    OMG...it's been raining here in Philly too!

    I think that's what's been keeping it so cool. Yesterday and today have been rain-free. Even my mother in Florida said it's been raining non-stop.

    One of these days I WILL make it to Maine, though. I bet the Fall is glorious!

    Thanks for dropping by, Kate!

    Always great seeing ya!

    X

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  31. well you know how I feel about heat and sun

    I love cool, gray mornings - no fucking pressure to be perky - I hate perky

    happy is OK on children and animals - adults need to get over themselves - either you're high or full of it

    I am hot flashing like a mofo this week and that does not make the sudden summer weather any easier

    what does make me happy is how much alike we are ;)

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  32. Hi Dianne!

    OMG...I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

    ...I love cool, gray mornings - no fucking pressure to be perky - I hate perky....

    YES!!!!!!!

    Listen, I've been "hot flashing" since I was 45 years old and summertime only makes it WORSE.

    Oh, well...just think...it's almost 4th of July, therefore, the summer is half-way over!!!

    I'm just dreading July and August though, because I think we're going to suffer for the easy beginning.

    Thanks SOOOOO much for stopping by and sharing in my madness, dear lady!

    It's good to know your there, and feeling the same as me!

    X

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  33. Ronnie: HA! you and my eldesst son are so the same. I tell him to turn the temp up, it's freezing in the house. He says he's hot.

    Well ronnie...yeah, I can believe that. He has sweats and a sweat jersey with a hood on.

    I tell him...get used to feeling cool instead of looking cool..dude.

    He hates when I call him dude. :0)

    Ronnie it was so hot in my office the other day...the thurmostat has gone wacky the last few months. it was freezing cold and now it is hot. the hot that gets you in a bad bad mood.

    I locked the door to my office and...well sitting at my desk with just bra and panties was okay...but it was still warm. Next time...the bra in the freezer trick will have to do.

    I like it at 75 all the time...blues skies. White billowy clouds. Those are my fave days.

    ciao babe...you rock hard!

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  34. Dear Miss Jones!

    You and your son sound just like my mother and father.....

    ...when we lived in Florida, he had the AC SOOOO low that there would be a slight FROST on the inside window pane. My mother would get up in the middle of the night and turn it up, then my father would get up and turn it DOWN!!

    It was so funny!

    Hey listen, I need to take your advice about placing my undies in the freezer!!! I totally forgot about doing that! This way when I put them on, I'll instantly get a "frozen POP!"

    bwhahahahahahahaha!

    Grassy ass for stopping by, Miss Jones!

    YOU rock!!!!

    Ciao bella
    X

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  35. Funny. My second to last post is the complete opposite. I need the heat. I'm cold in anything below 75 degrees. As my friend noted, I must be a cold blooded gecko.

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  36. I swear to you, when I saw the forecast for the next couple of days I thought of you. 80, 85, 92.

    I knew you'd be bitching just as much about the heat there as I do about the damn rain around here in January.

    Like Nanna Rosanna Danna would say, "It just goes to show ya, it's always something."

    I'm toasting a cool and refreshing Otter Pop in your honor!

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  37. Hey Jen!

    GRRRRREAT seeing ya!

    Hey, I know...

    ...not everyone is a freak of nature like me.

    I think I must be a pequin inside.

    And what's weird, is that I was TOTALLY the opposite many years ago - I LOVED the heat!

    Anyway...enjoy your summer, dear lady!

    Thanks for stopping by!
    X

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  38. HOWDY JEFF!

    It's so awesome seeing ya, buddy!!!

    GOD...I'm so afraid to look at the 5 day forcast each day, because I don't want to SCREAM when I see the temps rising!!?!?

    But, honestly...it's not been bad so far. Even tonight it's only in the low 70's!

    Hey...thanks for the cool and refreshing Otter Pop toast, Jeff!

    I can feel the coolness from here!

    Hope you're enjoying your summer!

    Thanks for stopping by!

    Sincerely,
    The Penquin

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  39. Hey Ron,

    I can feel what you are talking about. D & I's first trip to Philly was in July '92.
    And I tell ya, you could have cooked a meal on the sidewalk with the heat.
    Sticky,and humid right from the morning.Nothing to do with HI, & it's tradewinds.
    I swear, I'll never come back there in summer again !

    Last year, we were much better off in September.You remember? It was much better.

    So enjoy if it's still not too hot. It's going to be hell later !

    xxxx

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  40. Bonjour Barbara!

    OMG...you said it, girl!

    Philly around July and August is the PITTS!!

    And you're right...it's the HUMIDITY that kills you. I feel drained. The only other place that was worse, was the summer I spent in Japan - it was the most horrendous heat and humdity I think I've ever experienced.

    Oh, and yes...wasn't the weather PERFECT when you and Didier visited last year???

    Well, I'm going to enjoy this great weather now because I know what's coming.

    HELL!

    HA!

    Have a MARVI day, my friend!

    Thank you for stopping by!

    Cool hugs from Philly.

    {{{{{{X}}}}}}}

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  41. While I don't so much want a real gray, drizzly day... I do so much prefer them to the hothothot heat of summer. It has certainly been mild around here lately thank goddess!! It's coming though. The humidity I can feel. The bloodsucking mosquitos are hovering all around....

    My A/C is set for artic blast. LOL We even have a window unit which Ron will install in our bedroom very soon for this and next month when I need an extra dose of cool. He really likes to be cool too though because at work he's in the heat all day alot of the time and it's terrible.

    Stay cool. Hang in there. Fall is coming!!!!

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  42. Hey Crystal Chick!

    I know...

    ...the heat has not been bad so far, but like you shared...IT'S COMING!!!

    I began to feel it today while was walking around the city.

    The A/C unit in my apartment stays in the window all year round because I'm scared that if I wait for maintenance to install it each summer, the heat will suddenly hit on a weekend when they're not working!?!

    I'm like Ron...I like REAL COOL in my apartment.

    You're right, M...two more months and FALL is here!

    YAHOOO!

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  43. well, I have this little problem in that I CANNOT sit and it's driving me crazy AND it's blazing HOT, so call me a bitch...that's why I have not sat down and written a comment to anyone or a blog post for that matter....crap, I am tired of this and now-BANG BANG BANG SHAKE CRACK-husband has decided it is best to build a pergola..sigh...dear ron, I so get you...
    xoxox

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  44. Hiya Linda!

    Hey, I'm a bitch too so we'll keep one another company!

    hee, hee, hee, hee

    I HATE being hot!!

    OMG...I become a bitch on wheels. Or a witch on a broomstick!

    I'm surprised it's hot where you are. I didn't think Californina got very hot.

    Well...thank you for sharing in my heat detest.

    Let's bitch together!

    Thank for taking the time to stop by and say HI!

    I really appreciate it, my friend!

    XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

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  45. i'm the exact opposite. i don't like the cold. i enjoy a cool breeze in 90 degree weather.

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  46. Hi Valerie!

    ..I enjoy a cool breeze in 90 degree weather...

    That was GREAT!!!!

    God, if it could actually be like that I think I would enjoy it too!

    X

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