Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Need Room For Cream?

Today I would like to share something that not only annoys me as much as having one of my testicles pop while crossing my legs, but also puzzles me because I’m starting to wonder if either I don’t speak the English language correctly, or that people who work in coffee bars drink so much caffeine that it causes them to lose their sense of audibility. And I say this because it happens to me ALL THE TIME.

Ok, so here’s the scenario….

I’m standing in line at a coffee bar and I ask for a grande cup of coffee. And then I’m always asked the same question…

“Need room for cream?”

My response is, “Just a little please.”

And EVERY SINGLE TIME I take the lid off the coffee cup, it looks like this…




Now does this look like a little to you? I guess they assumed I was going to udder an entire cow’s worth.

And after a few times of this happening, I thought maybe I would try rewording my response; being more CLEAR.

My new response became, “I only use a splash of half and half, so I don’t need you to leave a lot of room in the cup, just a smidge.”

And yet, when I looked in the cup….


WFT??

So then I began ordering my coffee by not even waiting to be asked if I needed room; simply saying, “I would like a grande coffee, NO room.”

And viola!….



Now mind you, each time this happened to me I walked back to the barista and asked them to fill my cup because I purchased a GRANDE, not a PETITE grande.

And do you know what they said to me? “Oh…I thought you said MORE room.”

So after time and time again of this miscommunication, I decided that the only thing left for me to do was to tell a boldface lie.

Now when the barista asks me if I need any room, I say, “No thank you, I drink my coffee completely black, so you can fill it right to rim - almost to the point of overflowing.”

And then I take the FULL grande cup over to the condiments station and do what coffee bars HATE you to do.

I pour out the perfect amount of coffee I need for my cream INTO THE TRASH CAN.

I know, I know….I’m a little devil.

But you see, I tried listening to the angel….and it didn’t work.