My inspiration for this post came from my dear, longtime blogging friend, Debbie @ Musings by an ND Domer's Mom, who is not only a gifted...
If hearing about flatulence either embarrasses or grosses you out, you may want to close your eyes while reading this post….I just recently started taking the antioxidant supplement Alpha Lipoic Acid.
Actually, I have no earthly idea if it’s working, but it’s suppose to be an excellent overall antioxidant which also assists in keeping your skin looking as smooth and firm as a baby’s bottom.
I’ll let you know in a few weeks if I start getting carded while buying a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, because the liquor store cashier mistakes my youthful skin for a 6 year olds.
Anyway…..
I’ve noticed that one of the side effects in taking this antioxidant is that it sometimes makes me VERY gassy.
OMG….all day yesterday I felt like a fart machine.
And if my farts were bubbles, I would have looked like the grand finale in The Lawrence Welk Show.
“A one….and a two….”
It all started in the morning about 30 minutes after I ate my breakfast; having taken two capsules while eating.
One of the greatest perks about living in a noisy city is that you can freely toot while walking down the street and no one ever notices, because if you time it just perfectly you can coordinate them with the sound of a taxi horn. And you don’t have to worry about the odor because the retched smell of the subway which permeates the grates in the sidewalk, covers it up flawlessly.
The only problem I had was while I was at work. But, I figured out a brilliant way to take care of that because I didn't want my fellow salespeople to suddenly start dropping like flies from my toxic air biscuits.
I cleverly held a bottle of cologne in my hand, so that whenever I let one loose...I simply sprayed the area around my derriere so that it smelled like a mixture of green tea and grapefruit.
All afternoon people were asking me, “Ron…you smell so good. What kind of cologne are you wearing?”
I felt like saying, “It’s called, Eau de Fart.”
And thank god I was blowin' out the "silent but deadly type" because there would have been no way in hell I could have camouflage the sound without personally handing out ear plugs.
Like an idiot, I took another two capsules with my dinner that evening, which later made taking my bath rather festive.
Let’s just put it this way....
After about 5 minutes of soaking in a nice hot bath, I suddenly discovered a way to turn my bathtub into a bubbling Jacuzzi….
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