My inspiration for this post came from my dear, longtime blogging friend, Debbie @ Musings by an ND Domer's Mom, who is not only a gifted...
There are only a few things that make me want to leap up and stand on a chair, curling my fingers and toes, and scream in HORROR.
One of those things is the sight of someone wearing white gym socks with flip flops, and the other is watching a cockroach scurry across my apartment floor.
Such as it was last Tuesday evening.
About once a year (during the warmer months), I bare witness to a roach that has somehow found access into my apartment; causing me cardiac arrest. And I’m not talking about your average run of the mill little roach, I’m talking about a huge, and I mean HUGE cockroach. So huge, you could literally throw a saddle on it’s back and gallop into the sunset while drinking a salted margarita, singing “La cucaracha.”
I kid you not.
While living in Florida this became an almost every week occurrence because of all the humidity and dampness. Florida is the perfect stomping ground for cockroaches. In the Sunshine State they call them Palmetto bugs. And in case you didn’t know, Palmetto bugs are actually the Florida state bird.
That's how big they are.
However here in the northeast, especially us city folk, we refer to any and all bugs as illegal aliens. I sincerely think bugs should be forbidden to enter a city without a passport and a green card.
Now I realize that bugs (even cockroaches) have a purpose in this world, however I don’t think that purpose should involve me having to see them. EVER.
Anyhoo….last Tuesday evening, as I got up from my desk and walked towards the kitchenette, I saw something move on floor out of the corner of my eye. And when I turned to look to my left, I saw a GARGANTUAN brown roach running across my nice hardwood floors; heading into the bathroom.
OH.
MY.
GOD.
I FREAKED!
For the first few seconds I stood there paralyzed; staring at this hideous creature that invaded my home. And I could sense that the roach knew I had seen it because it stopped dead in it’s tracks; thinking to itself, “Holy shit….I’ve been had!”
Without moving my head, I looked around my apartment for something to SMASH it with. Just then, the roach ran into the bathroom and cleverly hid itself under the radiator. I quickly grabbed the closest thing to my left hand, which was a small beautiful oriental three-panel screen which I had purchased in Japan. And as I slowly crept into the bathroom on my tippy toes, I held my murder weapon above my head, anticipating the roach’s next move. Finally, that little bastard darted out from under the radiator and began running towards me….yes, TOWARDS ME! I JUMPED up, but then with one quick move and a sissy-mary SCREAM, I threw my beautiful oriental three-panel screen on top of the roach and then stomped on it.
SMASH!!!!!!!
And when I lifted the screen, I saw this……
Yeah, I know this picture is gross, but not any grosser than this one……
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