Monday, October 04, 2010

I lost my internet connection and my mind

In all the years I’ve been online, I have never lost my internet connection.

Not even once.

Okay I lie, maybe once, for like a minute or two, but not a WHOLE DAY.

However, last Friday morning while I was responding to comments on my post, I suddenly lost it.

Both my internet connection and my mind.

You would have sworn I had been cut off from my oxygen supply because I started hyperventilating and gasping for air. I PANICKED.

I turned off my modem and waited 30 seconds like they tell you to do, then turned it back on and waited for the internet light to glow green, but nothing happened.

I tried it again. Nada!

Then, after the third time, the internet light that was suppose to be green, turned RED.

I instantly called my internet provider, and after about 45 minutes of listening to a USELESS automated system, which incidentally sent me in circles because every help option they offered was not the help option I needed, I finally hung up and tried calling back again.

Round and round in circles I went, again and again, listening to every help option for the second time but got no assistance.

By this point I was pacing my apartment; CURSING up a storm.

I WANTED TO TALK TO A REAL PERSON!!!

After my third attempt at getting assistance, I finally spoke to a REAL PERSON, but after she put me on hold she disconnected me, so I had to call back AGAIN.

Oh, I wish you could have seen me, folks. I looked like a raging bull, getting ready to plow my bull horns into a matador.

I had steam coming out of my nostrils. I was LIVID.

Then, when I finally got another real person on the phone, I was connected to someone from a foreign country who could BARELY speak English. And after 20 minutes of trying to understand each other, I was told that a generator in the Pennsylvania area was down, and that certain DSL customers were being affected.

Yeah, uh-huh….and that certain customer would be ME.

I asked how long she thought it would take to get an internet connection again, and was informed that it could take up to several hours, but to keep looking at the red light on my modem, and that when it turned green it meant I had internet service.

Duh!

(I felt like slapping her)

So, I quickly jumped in the shower and dressed for work, and then I took my laptop to a Starbucks so I could use their Wifi to update my blog post; telling everyone I had lost my internet connection and would be responding to comments in the evening when I got home. Hopefully.

All day at work I was mumbling to myself, “OMG…I better have internet service when I get home! I better have internet service when I get home!”

The only thing I could think about was getting back online.

It was at this point I started to realize that perhaps I have a SERIOUS addiction to the internet.

Do you think?

Anyway, when I walked through my apartment door, the first thing I did was walk over to were my modem is and slowly peeked at it; praying to the internet gods above that the green light was on.

And guess what?

It was….

Ahhhhhhh…..I could BREATHE again!