Friday, December 03, 2010

My apartment with the rice paper thin walls

When I first moved back to northeast, I lived in a four-story brownstone walk-up apartment building for one year.

Actually, it really wasn’t a walk-up because technically it had an elevator, but the elevator NEVER worked, so I always referred to this apartment building as a walk-up.

Alright, let me correct myself by being more specific and say it’s not that the elevator NEVER worked, it did, however it only worked during the months with a letter Z in it, and only during a full lunar eclipse.

Which means the friggin' thing NEVER worked.

In fact, it didn’t work on the day I drove into the city of Philadelphia; arriving in a 20-foot Ryder rental truck, so therefore had to carry EVERY SINGLE THING I OWNED up four floors.

And I thought I was going to have to do it alone, until a complete stranger on the street asked me if I needed any help.

Wasn’t that nice of him? It was as if the heavens above sent me an angel.

So, after he finished helping me move in, I gave him $50.00, bought him a pack of cigarettes, and thanked him endlessly.

Oh, but wait……this nice guy ended up being a PSYCHO because he called me on his cell phone for a week afterward; asking for more money to pay a bill. He would also show up at my apartment, UNANNOUNCED, asking me for more money to pay a bill.

Of course, I didn’t give him any.

I started to realize this guy was just a mooch, who enjoyed nothing more than looking for opportunities to help people, and then hounding them for money to pay his bills.

At first, I was a little frightened because I really didn’t know much about this guy, and yet he knew where I lived. For all I knew he could have been an AX MURDERER!!

I finally stopped answering his phone calls and not responding to the knock at the door whenever he showed up.

Eventually, he ceased contacting me. Whew!

Anyway, back to my apartment……

It was a large studio, with a full-size kitchen, and a nice size bathroom. It had hardwood floors, two walk-in closets, and a beautiful two-window view of a peaceful courtyard.

Sounds wonderful doesn’t it?

And it was….

….except for the rice paper thin walls between each apartment.

(by the way, the floors were also rice paper thin)

And by thin, I mean you could actually hear someone cleaning their ears with a Q-tip in the apartment next door.

Originally the building had been a large house, so the walls were built to be a home, not an apartment building.

And I can’t even begin to tell you all the horrific noise I heard coming from everyone’s apartment. It was like living in a dormitory in the movie, Animal House.

The building was mainly occupied by college students, so let’s just say it was one big noisy PARTY.

And not only did I hear loud partying, but also countless heated arguments between the tenants in the apartment below mine. It was nothing for me to hear doors slamming, objects being thrown, and screaming on a weekly basis.

On the night that my 19-year old cat was literally dying in my apartment, my next door neighbor was having one of her drunken college parties, where her guests were banging on the floor while listening to rock music. It was a nightmare.

However, I think the most CURIOUS noise I ever heard while living in that apartment building, was the noise I ALSO heard coming from the apartment below mine. It was the noise they always made AFTER they had their heated arguments.

And let me just say….

….it was like watching a porn movie, with the picture turned off and the sound turned up REALLY loud.

Yee-haw…..ride ‘em cowgirl!!!

Wishing you a hoe-down weekend everyone!

X