Comedy Or Drama. Which Is Harder?

Having been a stage actor, people sometimes ask me if it’s harder to perform comedy or drama?

And honestly, I must say that even though it’s my forte, comedy is harder.

Mainly, because you can’t fake funny.

If you don’t believe me, try making yourself produced a laugh, and then try making yourself produce tears. I think you’ll find it much more challenging to make yourself genuinely laugh, than you will tears.

I once heard Bette Davis share in an interview, that she had great difficultly making herself laugh on cue in a scene.

I have found that most comedic actors can easily shift into drama, yet not all dramatic actors can make the shift into comedy.

Comedy is demanding because it’s all about having a keen sixth sense of timing.

You have to feel when to pause for the laughs; sensing when to continue.

Also, comedy must start with truth and seriousness in order for it to be genuinely funny.

A comedic actor must be aware of the humor, but play against it.

In addition, stage comedy relies much on the participation of the audiences audible reaction. So, if you have a dead audience some nights, you have to learn how to rise above it and not permit them to affect your performance.

And in film, comedy is even harder. Because there is no live audience.

Allow me to interject here, that whether it be comedy or drama, I truly believe you cannot be taught how to act.

Acting is a gift.

Sure, you can be taught a ‘technique’, but unless that technique is invisible to the audience, your acting will register as mechanical.

Many times I’ve watched an actor onstage or on the screen trying to use a particular technique, and to me it’s very obvious. Obvious, because I see them thinking about it, rather than trusting that the technique has become second nature.

A true artist knows how to take a technique, and then infuse it with their own natural talent; making it naked to the eye.

I have always found it frustrating to work with other actors who like to talk about and analyze a scene incessantly before rehearsing it. I guess you could call me an 'organic actor' because I don’t act by thinking about it. I act by throwing myself into a scene and then seeing what happens. I let my intuition lead the way.

I started out being a comedic actor because comedy came natural to me. I honestly didn’t think I could ever perform drama because I somehow thought I would over-blow it - and was scared shitless to try it. However, I soon discovered that if I took my understanding of comedy and then applied it to drama, I could do it.

Starting with the truth.

Believing in what I’m doing.

And then just surrendering to the dialogue.

Strangely enough, because of my background in comedy, I was able to uncover the humorous levels in a dramatic character. I mean after all, a human being is not all one thing.

I’ve played some not-very-nice characters in my career, and was able to find bits of humor in them so that the audience didn’t end up totally hating them.

Yes, comedy will always be my favorite. It’s both easy, yet very challenging.

However, dabbling in drama opened my eyes to portraying the truth in all characters.

Finding the comedy in the drama.

And the drama in the comedy.

As in life….it is all blended together!

Telephone Conversations With My Mother

Earlier this week, I called my mother in Florida and as usual, we talked for an hour and a half.

My mom and I can talk about anything. And when I say anything, I mean ANYTHING.

That’s one of the things I truly admire about her. No topic is off limits or taboo.

My mother is the type of person who is open to all kinds of people, and all kinds of situations.

She even reads my blog. And quite often gives me great suggestions for post topics.

And I love the fact that I can sometimes curse while I‘m sharing a story with her; using four letter words and it doesn’t bother her.

Words like: shit, bastard, and son of a bitch.

Oh…..but NEVER the F-word.

I mean I DO make reference to it, by using the words FRIGGIN’ and FREAKIN’, but never the actual F-word.

(although, a couple times I almost slipped…..oops!)

She and I can talk about politics, our spiritual beliefs, relationships, childhood memories, you name it.

And the great thing about it, is that we don’t always agree with one another’s view points or opinions, but we respect one another so our conversations never turn into any kind of argument.

We can sense one another’s boundaries.

My mother is also a very loyal person. I trust her completely, and know that I can share anything and that it will remain between she and I only.

My mother is like a best friend.

I look forward to talking with her each week. We usually speak on the phone every Sunday.

It’s just really nice to touch base and check in with one another; sharing what’s going on in our lives and giving each other feedback and support.

So, I would like to use this post to simply say, thank you to my mother.

And know that I cherish our telephone conversations every week.

I love how we’ll sometimes talk about serious stuff, and then others times we just laugh.

I love how you inform me of current events, because I don’t watch TV or read a newspaper. Therefore, if it wasn’t for YOU, I would never know what the HELL is going on in the world.

Yes, I love it ALL.

So, thank you. Not only for being a great mother. But, also a great friend.

Love ya!

P.S. We’ll talk again on Sunday. I have a story to tell you about a SHITTY and sneaky BASTARD, who tried to butt in front of me at Starbucks….the friggin’ SON OF A BITCH!

Have a faaaaaaaabulous weekend everyone!

X

Okay....Let's Be Gay Today!

If viewing photos of things like, drag queens, a porta-potty, or poodles who’s hair has been dyed the color of the rainbow flag is not your cup of tea, you may want to close your eyes while reading this post.

Two weekends ago, I was part of an outside work-event at the Annual Philadelphia Gay Pride.

One of the companies I occasionally work for had a booth set up, where we sold various products to those attending the festivities.

Let me start by saying, I was not looking forward to this event because it had been ruthlessly hot and humid that week. Therefore, the thought of standing outside in direct sunlight for six hours had me anticipating a complete emotional and physical meltdown.

For those of you who may be new to my blog and don‘t know….. I HATE BEING HOT. Summer is my least favorite season. Yeah, the whole world loves summer, I know. However, I would rather be stranded in Antarctica wearing only a THONG and BAREFOOT, than be subjected to any kind of heat. And heat to me is anything above 55 degrees.

Yet, mother nature took pity on me that day and gave us cooler temperatures and a beautiful breeze.

So, I was a happy camper!

Also, I haven’t attended anything ‘gay oriented’ in so many years, I thought I would suddenly go into GAY EUPHORIA, being surrounded by predominately other gay men and women all day.

I feared that I would spontaneously break into my Diana Ross lip-syncing routine of Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.

I also feared that my dramatic gay chromosome would go into overdrive and I’d become Abba’s Dancing Queen.

But alas, I didn’t. I was very reserved because after all, I was technically at WORK and didn’t want to embarrass myself.

Our event turned out to be a smashing success. And I have to say, the people who organized Gay Pride did an outstanding job. Everything was very well-orchestrated and executed. I had a wonderful time!

Oh, except for the drunk guy who walked up to me, asking my name and then obviously started flirting. But then informed me that he wasn’t gay because he didn’t want me to get WRONG idea.

He finally walked away, but made sure he came back before he left and said to me, “Your name is Ron, right?” I said, “Ron, that’s right.” And then he winked at me.

Yeah, right. Wasn’t gay.

*wink*

Anyway….here are some photos I took during that day.

A group shot of the gang at our booth.

About an hour after being there, one of my co-worker’s and I had to pee. So, we found this HUGE porta-potty that was about the size of my studio apartment. My co-worker used the potty first. And as soon as she got inside and closed the door, she yelled, “OMG Ron, you’re going to die because it’s hotter than HELL in here. It’s like an oven!” And she was right ….I DIED!

There’s nothing quite like watching a drag queen lip-sync to The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia.

A Lady Gaga impersonator.

Poodles who were dyed the color of the gay rainbow flag. How festive is that?

Notice the poodle with dreadlocks. I LOVE it!

A costume designer strutting his stuff onstage. You GO, boy/girl!

This last photo is a fantasy of what I truly wanted to wear to this event…

Have I ever told you how much I adore the color PINK?

Things I Learned From My Father

The photo you see above is of my mother and father.

I have no idea when this was taken because I wasn’t even born yet, but my parents look to be about in their early 30’s at the time.

Weren’t they a handsome couple?

My father was one of those guys who everyone loved to be around because he was vivacious, a great story-teller, and would never say anything negative about anyone.

He believed that if you couldn’t say anything nice about anyone, don’t say it.

My father was an incredible business man because he never approached his occupation as a job. Everyday, he went to his office with a smile on his face and whistle on his lips, and a sincere desire to service his clients with integrity and humor.

He was one of the most amazing salesman because he had a soft and gentle way of offering his goods and then standing back; allowing his clients to make their own decision on whether they wanted to purchase or not. No pressure. Nine times out of ten, his clients fell in love with him, therefore they WANTED to purchase from him.

My father was successful because he was honest. And people could feel that.

If you ever wanted to make my father mad, LIE to him. He couldn’t tolerate being lied to. He would much rather his kids tell him the truth than lie about something because he respected that. In fact, if we told him the truth, we never got punished. But if we did….HEAVEN HELP US.

My father was a total optimist. He always believed that things would work out for the best.

My father was a very generous and loyal man, giving aid to anyone in need. He had a very soft, child-like heart that unfortunately got crushed many times because he believed that all people were sincere when they needed help, but discovered that even family members could be good bullshit artists. He finally learned this lesson much later in his life; being very disappointed in himself for not realizing it sooner.

But you see, he always gave unconditonally and with love. So they are the ones now living with regret; disappointed in themselves.

Yes, I’ve learned a lot from my father. Things that I’m still learning.

I’ve learned that in order to be successful in business, I must serve with integrity.

I’ve learned to be optimistic; knowing that things will always work out for the best.

I’ve learned that if I can’t say anything nice about anyone, don’t say it.

(um…that‘s one I‘m not very good at)

I’ve learned that honesty is the best policy.

And I’ve learned that if I give to someone and they bullshit me…well then, the shit only comes back and lands in their face.

So thank you, Dad. You taught me a lot.

You were a great father. And a great muse.

I love you, Daddy-O!

Happy Father’s Day to all you wonderful men out there. Please know how important you are in your children’s lives. And how you touch them in ways they will remember with love. Always!



Note: This will be my one and only post this week because I’ll be extremely busy at work - UGH! After today, I won’t be online much, so please forgive me. I will see all you ladies and gents next Monday. Have a great week! X

I'm Not A Box, I Don't Have Sides

I remember hearing a brilliant line from the movie Postcards From The Edge, in which Dennis Quaid’s character says to Meryl Streep’s character…

“I don’t like this side of you.”

To which she replies….

“I’m not a box, I don’t have sides.”

And I laughed my ass off, because that line is so true.

We don’t have sides.

For pretty much all my life, people have always tried to figure me out; placing me in some sort of definable, all-consuming category.

“Ron is sweet.”

“Ron is a bastard.”

“Ron is introspective.”

“Ron is funny.”

“Ron is serious.”

“Ron is……”

I’ve heard it all. And it truly boggles me that people would think we fit into only one category. Or any category for that matter.

I quite often get that ‘look’ from people. You know the one I’m talking about? Where they tilt their head from side to side like a parrot, with a perplexed expression on their face, “I can’t quite pinpoint you!?”

In fact, at least half a dozen times people who have read my blog shared in their comments, when I posted about something more introspective than humorous, “OMG…I didn’t know you had this 'side' to you!”

As if humor is all that encompasses me.

Or, all that I feel.

I most definitely try to find the humor in what I share with you here, because that‘s pretty much how I am offline. I enjoy discovering the humor in my madness. The humor in my sometimes annoying life experiences. And having this blog has truly allowed me to do that.

Laugh at life.

But, there are also times when I wish to express and share more intimate topics.

Simply because that’s how I feel at that the moment.

Sometimes I feel funny. Sometimes I feel angry. Sometimes I feel a bit melancholy. Sometimes I feel sarcastic.

And then there are times when I feel more reflective; pondering.

Yup, I can be brash, naughty or humorous at times. And then be soft, sweet or serious other times.

But it’s ALL of who I am.

Like most people, I have many feelings, emotions and moods. I also have many interests and curiosities.

However, I don’t see them as sides.

I see them as layers and textures, that make up the whole of me.

Have a fantabulous weekend everyone!

X

Revisiting Fatal Attraction

Saturday afternoon, I was chatting with one of my favorite co-workers about how I was in the mood to rent a good film that night and asked her if she had any suggestions.

For some reason, we got on the topic of thrillers and she mentioned one of the best psychological thriller films from the 80’s.

Fatal Attraction.

I LOVE psychological thrillers!

So, after work, I popped into my local video store and rented it.

As I sat there that evening, nervously munching on Tostitos and hummus, I immediately recalled how I felt when I first saw the film.

Scared. Shitless.

I had almost forgotten what an awesome film it is, with stellar performances by Michael Douglas, Glenn Close, and the exquisitely beautiful Anne Archer.

I’m pretty sure after this film was released, infidelity throughout the world dropped to 0% the following ten years.

The thought of having a one night stand with someone like Glenn Close’s psychotic character, Alex, had every man thinking twice about grazing from the pasture; poking.


The thing about this film which I find sheer brilliance, is that it makes you want to jump into the screen; grabbing hold of Alex and throwing her out of 50-story building window, just to get her the HELL out of his life.

I remember watching it on TV with my father once, as he restrained himself from reaching inside the television set and strangling her with 55 yards of dental floss.

Fatal Attraction makes its viewers feel totally out of control, because no matter how nicely Michael Douglas’s character, Dan, tells Alex that it’s over….she keeps coming back like a painful case of herpes.

The ending, which finally gives the audience a sense of relief was not the ending that was originally written. Did you know that? I discovered this piece of trivia while watching the DVD special features.

*more is explained here.

The original ending was this:

“Alex Forrest was originally scripted to commit suicide at the end of the movie by slashing her throat. Her plan was to make it look as if Dan had murdered her, for which he would be arrested. Although Beth (Dan’s wife) is shown to possibly have a way to free him when finding a revealing tape that Alex had sent him and taking it to the police, test audiences did not respond well.”

It was said, that while testing the film in various cities, the original ending had audiences leaving the theater unsatisfied. Months later, they reshot the ending to what it is now.

After viewing the complete original ending, I gotta say….I liked it better because it was less expected, yet still left me with a sense of satisfaction. Also, it was much less violent.

Oh well, either way it was a faaaaaaaabulous film.

So, if you’re looking to watch a great thriller, revisit Fatal Attraction.

And for heaven sake, PLEASE remember the moral of this story…..

It ain’t worth having one night of hot sex on a kitchen sink.

Poor innocent bunny rabbit!

My Life: Walking A Cobblestone Road

The photo you see above was taken last week while I was walking down to Penn’s Landing, a seaport along the Delaware River.

I passed a building that had a large cobblestone area, which was actually part of the original streets in Old Philadelphia way back when.

After I got home, I downloaded the images and then fiddled around with my photo editing software to bring out the color and texture of the stones.

Days later, I reviewed the various photos I had taken, gazing specifically at the photo above and having sort of an epiphany.

You see, I realized that the image ironically represents my life.

I’ve always had a fascination with cobblestone streets. Not only because I adore the look of cobblestones with their various shapes, sizes, color and textures, but more so how they feel when I walk over them.

On one hand they feel uneven and unstable, yet on the other hand they feel good on the soles of my feet because it somehow seems familiar.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I choose to live my life differently than most people. I live my life by taking one step at time; not planning goals other than taking what’s in front of me and experiencing it.

Yup, and I have made some not-so-great choices at times because I forced my life to go in a certain direction or path. However, I learned from those choices, so I don’t consider them mistakes or failures because something grew out of them.

Just like cobblestones, my life has been filled with so much variety in the way of experiences.

I kinda like not knowing what’s ahead of me.

It can be unsettling at times, the uncertainty, but I’ve learned that no matter how much I want the steps of my life to go, they don't. Because my life has always taken me in the direction I NEED to go.

Often times later, it has been revealed to me WHY I needed to go in this or that direction. I saw that it gave me exactly what I needed for the present. And even the future.

My life has never been about the certainty of 2 + 3 = 5.

My life has been more about seeing a different equation.

2 + 3 could equal 5.…but it could also equal 23.

It’s all in how I experience it.

Many people have told me that living my life this way is merely floundering; being passive and naive.

Yet, it is not.

Because living my life this way keeps me attuned to the present. The moment.

Living in the moment gives awareness and inspiration, moving me forward.

The only thing I have right now, is NOW.

The past is gone, the future hasn’t been lived yet.

So, I choose to walk a cobblestone road; taking each uneven and unstable step.

Not knowing.

But oh, the shapes, sizes, colors and textures I have experienced along the way….I wouldn’t trade for a smoothly paved road.

Because really, for me, there is no such thing.

Just cobblestones and Pebbles.

Have a yabba-dabba-doo weekend everyone!

X