It's Been Almost A Year


Can you believe it’s been almost a year since my mother passed away?

November 15th will mark a year.

Yeah, I know…where did the time go?

In one way it feels like it happened yesterday, but in another way it feels as though it was years ago.

Time is a strange thing, isn’t it?

Over the weekend, I went back into my blog archives and read some of the posts I shared when she was first diagnosed with cancer; her remission; my trip to Florida in July; and the post I shared with you after the night she passed away.

And I can still remember what it felt like when I sat down in front of my computer screen and typed the first line of that post…

“I just wanted to let you all know that my beloved mother passed away last night at about 9:45 PM.”

It felt surreal.

I have thought of my mother countless times this year; missing our hour and a half telephone conversations, our laughter, our opinions, our reflections, and our day-to-day lives.

And I’ve also missed blogging about her.

But even more so, I’ve been thinking about my childhood and how blessed I was to have had both my mother and father as parents. I've even had times of mentally replaying specific scenes in my childhood, like a movie, watching them flash before my eyes and recalling exactly what it felt like then.

And what I always feel when this happens is an overwhelming rush of love, as if my whole heart center explodes, remembering how loved I was by my parents and the happy and secure life they provided for me.

It’s funny how when you’re a child, you never realize how strong those moments will come back to you as some of the most precious moments in your life, when you're an adult.

Last month I had something happen to me while I was sitting in the park one afternoon and not really dwelling on my mother. However, I think it’s ironic that this happened while I was sitting in the grass and enjoying nature because my mother loved nature.

I suddenly got a strong feeling that she was there with me. And not only my mother, but my father as well.

It happened in a flash.

While my eyes were closed, enjoying the warmth of the sun on my face, I had a vision of her and my father standing next to each other and holding hands; smiling.

And I didn’t so much hear it as I did feel what they said to me.

They said, “We’re together now. And we’re happy and well. We love you, Ronnie.”

I thought about that for days because I do believe that when our physical body dies, our soul continues to live on, and that we can still communicate with those in the physical - through the heart.

And that just because our loved ones pass away, doesn’t mean those precious moments pass away with them.

No.

They remain forever in our heart.

In loving memories.


P.S. I also remember what a tremendous support you all were for me, my mother, and my brother last year. So I wanted to say again, Thank you!
X

27 comments

  1. David OliverNovember 05, 2013

    Thanks, you too!

    Awhile back my Younger was talking about common adages we use today and how they differ from their original meaning. One was blood is thicker than water. Originally that did not mean kinship. It referred to soldiers on the battlefield spilling blood. The bond there was stronger than the bond of kinship.

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  2. Angelia SimsNovember 05, 2013

    Oh Ron....I remember that post too. A year? So fast. So slow. And so unreal. "Time is a funny thing" IT IS Ron. It is. And I believe too they were with you, in that moment, in your heart, and in that sub-consciousness place we don't know how to get to. It will be five years next month since I lost my Dad. Shaking my head, because that just can't be...... Hugs Ron! And cheers to those wonderful memories! XOXO

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  3. Hellooooooo Angelia!

    " A year? So fast. So slow. And so unreal. "Time is a funny thing" IT IS Ron. It is."

    I know, can you believe it's been almost a YEAR? I've heard it said that time happens simultaneously; meaning that the past, present, and future are all happening at the same time. So perhaps that's why times it seems that time moves fast and slow?!

    "It will be five years next month since I lost my Dad. Shaking my head, because that just can't be....."



    (((((((( You )))))))


    My father passed away in 1993, and again, it seems like it just happened yet, it was 20 years ago.


    Much thanks for stopping by, my friend. Have a wonderful week!


    X

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  4. Lovely post Ron. We who have lost will always remember.

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  5. I'm sorry you have to face this anniversary. My hubby's mother passed away a few years ago & every year he still feels her loss keenly. I am lucky enough to still have both my parents alive. My father will be 80 on Nov. 20.

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  6. Hey there Benze!

    Thank you...X This first one came up so quickly. I can't believe how fast this year went by.

    "I am lucky enough to still have both my parents alive. My father will be 80 on Nov. 20."

    That's' AWESOME! And bless him!

    All three of my parents (my biological mother, father, and step mother) passed away very young. My birth mother was only 40, and my father and step mother were only in their early 70's.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a super week!

    X

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  7. Thank you, Dale.

    " We who have lost will always remember."



    You said it, bud! Always remembered.


    Thanks for stopping by and have a great week!


    X

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  8. Oh Ron... I am in tears. WOW. How sad and beautiful.
    Do not question it... THEY WERE WITH YOU. THEY WERE TALKING TO YOU.
    It is too long a story, but bottom line my son almost died in a rip current - I haven't even been able to write about it. He was saved, long story. Stunned, in shock and horror still, I took a shower once we were back at the house and cried and cried. Then I felt a rush of warm all over me... coming down just as the water came down on me. It enveloped me... held me... it was Sister Clotilde, a Catholic nun in my family that had died many years before. SHE saved my children... SHE was the one. I had not even been thinking of her, and then she was there. So believe!

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  9. Hey Katherine!

    Yes, my friend....I DO believe they were with me because I could actually FEEL them there - it was beautiful!

    And OMG...WHEN did this happen to your son? Recently?

    I'm soooooooooo happy to hear that he's alive and well.

    "It enveloped me... held me... it was Sister Clotilde, a Catholic nun in my family that had died many years before. SHE saved my children... SHE was the one. I had not even been thinking of her, and then she was there."

    Wow...now that brought tears to MY eyes. And I believe it. I TOTALLY believe it. As I shared, I believe that those who have passed on can still communicate and HELP us - no doubt.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing that story, my friend. Thank you.

    X

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  10. I knew it was sneaking up......I remember your brother and pie and Thanksgiving. And yes, I remember the butterfly moment. *sigh* .....I got all sorts of emotional reading this


    The photos are awesome--they exude a peacefulness all of their own. And feeling that message would have brought that feeling of peacefulness to my soul. Sounds like the two of them had good timing, yaknow?
    I remember a few specific things, yaknow--repetitious things said by my step mother and my father-- "worthless as tits on a boar" is one of 'em. LOL THAT'S a hand one to remember, huh? ;-)
    But really, I don't recall much of my childhood or teen years in way of specific incidents. I do know the feeling attached to that time of my life... and I know how that changes in regard to the relationships I had then. It's more of a 'feeling footprint' than a memory. (ha.....I made that term up and I think I'll keep it!) I have HUGE feeling footprints for the first 'wise person in my life'. And yep, he visits me on many occasions--when there's no 'logical' reason or no real 'trigger' to say "ahhhh...that's why I all of this happened.". So I'm with you on the soul connection and the feeling footprints. It's cool when that happens. It doesn't freak me out any more--I stopped trying to come up with a "rational explanation" and joyfully accepted that I get visits from WPIML even still. It's amazing....and it's wonderful we get that, huh? Whether that's once or a few dozen times....
    See, I think it's amazing she drug your dad along. LOL Seriously. Still lovin' ya hugely. That's really awesome to get a dose of that, yaknow?


    Yup--it's going to be difficult some moments. I hope those are few and fleeting. I hope for more of the warm fuzzies and being enveloped by the love of and for the two of them. You've been so graced in this lifetime to be LOVED so completely.
    k.....getting weepy!
    ((((((((( Ron ))))))))) and (((((((((( Tom ))))))))))


    (((((((((( the mom and dad )))))))))))

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  11. Dear Mel,

    Thank you SO MUCH for your beautifully expressed comment. Thank you....X

    And I LOVE this...

    " It's more of a 'feeling footprint' than a memory. (ha.....I made that term up and I think I'll keep it!)"

    BRILLIANT term, and I think I'll use it too, because that's the perfect description of what it feels like for me..."feeling footprints" within my heart.

    You and I have been blogging with each for many years now, so you know some of things that I've shared on my blog about my family life that were not all hunky dory and smooth sailing (such my father not allowing us kids to experience the death of my birth mother). However, as challenging as that experience was for me, it taught me a tremendous amount of lessons and I learned a lot from that experience. My father did what he did because he sincerely thought it was the best thing to do. I believe that the not-so-great choices that our parents sometimes make when we're children are lessons for US to learn. So, I'm actually grateful to my father for that choice.

    The bottom line is....I was loved. And that's really what I will ALWAYS remember.

    I was LOVED by my parents.

    "You've been so graced in this lifetime to be LOVED so completely."

    Amen!

    Again, thank you so much for your thoughtful and beautiful comment, dear lady.

    (((((((((((((((((((((((( You ))))))))))))))))))))))))

    Have a faaaaaaabulous Wednesday!

    X ya!

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  12. A year? Already? Whew, you are certainly right about time. Such a strange thing.
    That was a lovely experience you had in the park. You were open to it and it reinforced your beliefs and that's the best we can ask for... to be touched by divine love.
    I just don't have anything more to add except a {BIGWARMHUG} and my eternal friendship. Well, WOW, that sounds like quite a lot to see it there in print. I'd take that offer.... haha!!!

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  13. Yes, Mary, can you believe it? Almost a year?! Where did the time go?!?

    "You were open to it and it reinforced your beliefs and that's the best we can ask for... to be touched by divine love."

    Beautifully stated and thank you...x

    As I shared, it happened in a flash and it was more of feeling than a hearing. But it was so strong that I knew it was real.

    "I just don't have anything more to add except a {BIGWARMHUG} and my eternal friendship. Well, WOW, that sounds like quite a lot to see it there in print. I'd take that offer.... haha!!!"

    HAHHAHAHAHA! Aw...thank you, my dear friend! And I will definitely take you up on that AWESOME offer!

    And here's a hug back at ya!

    ((((((((((((((( You )))))))))))))))))))

    Much thanks for stopping by, neighbor! Hope you're having a terrific week!

    X

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  14. I'm so glad you felt their love in that park, Ron! I know that the first anniversary is always the hardest. XO, my friend.

    And I apologize for the late response, but for some weird reason, your post just now appeared in my feed.

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  15. What a beautiful tribute Ron. I still miss my parents every day and often wish I had spent more time with them in their later years. Hindsight is always 20/20. Glad you feel their presence. Xo Jeanne and the girlz

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  16. Hi Jeanne!

    Thank you...x

    You know, I think we'll always miss our parents (and loved ones). In fact, I remember my mother saying many times that she still missed her mother and father.

    "Hindsight is always 20/20."

    Exactly. I'm sure your parents knew how much you loved them, and you them. And that's what is important.

    Much thanks for stopping by, dear lady. Hope you're having a lovely week!

    X to you and the girlz!

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  17. Hey there Bijoux!

    Thank you :) It was a beautiful experience.

    This first anniversary came up so fast that it surprised me it's been almost a year. Wow!

    "And I apologize for the late response, but for some weird reason, your post just now appeared in my feed."



    No apologies needed, my friend. Something happened after I published this post on Monday - it took forever to show up on my feed reader as well - on both my Feedburner AND Feedly. Ever since Google Reader shut down, there has been occasional glitches going on with the transference of my feed being updating in a timely manner. I had several of my friends, who read my blog through email, say that they didn't get my update until DAYS later.


    Much thanks for stopping, Bijoux. Hope you're having a FABU week!


    X

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  18. I just stopped back to read the comments everyone left. You have the nicest readers, Ron. Great people!

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  19. "You have the nicest readers, Ron. Great people!"


    I totally agree, Robert. And thank YOU for being one of them!

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  20. WHAT? It's almost been a YEAR? Get. Out.

    "I’ve been thinking about my childhood and how blessed I was to have had both my mother and father as parents. I've even had times of mentally replaying specific scenes in my childhood, like a movie, watching them flash before my eyes and recalling exactly what it felt like then. And what I always feel when this happens is an overwhelming rush of love, as if my whole heart center explodes, remembering how loved I was by my parents and the happy and secure life they provided for me."

    Awww! Ron! That is so special. And wonderful.

    "And I didn’t so much hear it as I did feel what they said to me. They said, “We’re together now. And we’re happy and well. We love you, Ronnie.”

    And now I'm sobbing! But in a good way!

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  21. Yes, can you believe on Friday it will be a YEAR!?


    My god, where the time go?


    I feel so blessed to have had she AND my father as parents, and very blessed to have had that experience in the park.


    Like you, it made me cry, but it in a GOOD way.


    Thanks so much for stopping by, girl.


    X

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  22. I so enjoy your blog, Ron, so thank YOU!

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  23. "One was blood is thicker than water. Originally that did not mean kinship. It referred to soldiers on the battlefield spilling blood."

    Wow...that is so fascinating because I had no idea about the original meaning!?

    "The bond there was stronger than the bond of kinship."

    And that was so true of my mother and I.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, David. And thanks for info. Very cool!

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  24. Hello Geraldine!

    "My own mom, was MY butterfly. It was her symbol and it has remained that to me, since she left this earth. Here's a poem I think you might like to read..."

    I can thank you enough for sharing the beautiful poem you wrote about your mother - it brought tears to my eyes.

    On the night my mother past away, I was searching online for a photo to use for that post and really had no idea what I was going to use. Suddenly, I saw that butterfly photo and thought, "That's it...she's a butterfly going to heaven."

    ". I've interacted with spirits many times in very real ways. I know all about the sense of their presence in our lives on this side. Not always actually seeing them as they were, but tangible all the same."

    I so agree with you. We might not be able to SEE them, but we can FEEL them in our heart. And for me, that's as tangible as anything physical.

    "Love is the only thing that really endures forever."

    Yes, forever.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and for your beautiful, supportive words. Thank you.

    Have a faaaaaaaaaaabulous week, my friend!

    X

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