Monday, November 04, 2013

It's Been Almost A Year

Can you believe it’s been almost a year since my mother passed away?

November 15th will mark a year.

Yeah, I know…where did the time go?

In one way it feels like it happened yesterday, but in another way it feels as though it was years ago.

Time is a strange thing, isn’t it?

Over the weekend, I went back into my blog archives and read some of the posts I shared when she was first diagnosed with cancer; her remission; my trip to Florida in July; and the post I shared with you after the night she passed away.

And I can still remember what it felt like when I sat down in front of my computer screen and typed the first line of that post…

“I just wanted to let you all know that my beloved mother passed away last night at about 9:45 PM.”

It felt surreal.

I have thought of my mother countless times this year; missing our hour and a half telephone conversations, our laughter, our opinions, our reflections, and our day-to-day lives.

And I’ve also missed blogging about her.

But even more so, I’ve been thinking about my childhood and how blessed I was to have had both my mother and father as parents. I've even had times of mentally replaying specific scenes in my childhood, like a movie, watching them flash before my eyes and recalling exactly what it felt like then.

And what I always feel when this happens is an overwhelming rush of love, as if my whole heart center explodes, remembering how loved I was by my parents and the happy and secure life they provided for me.

It’s funny how when you’re a child, you never realize how strong those moments will come back to you as some of the most precious moments in your life, when you're an adult.

Last month I had something happen to me while I was sitting in the park one afternoon and not really dwelling on my mother. However, I think it’s ironic that this happened while I was sitting in the grass and enjoying nature because my mother loved nature.

I suddenly got a strong feeling that she was there with me. And not only my mother, but my father as well.

It happened in a flash.

While my eyes were closed, enjoying the warmth of the sun on my face, I had a vision of her and my father standing next to each other and holding hands; smiling.

And I didn’t so much hear it as I did feel what they said to me.

They said, “We’re together now. And we’re happy and well. We love you, Ronnie.”

I thought about that for days because I do believe that when our physical body dies, our soul continues to live on, and that we can still communicate with those in the physical - through the heart.

And that just because our loved ones pass away, doesn’t mean those precious moments pass away with them.

No.

They remain forever in our heart.

In loving memories.

P.S. I also remember what a tremendous support you all were for me, my mother, and my brother last year. So I wanted to say again, Thank you!
X