Troll Stories


I'm sure after reading this post, you'll be tempted to contact a mental institution and have me committed for peculiar insanity.

As most of my longtime blogging friends know, I have a small collection of trolls. In the '60's, when trolls were very popular, I had a bunch of them but eventually tossed or gave them away.

Then in the '90's, when trolls were suddenly rediscovered, my interest in them was reignited. Back then I was a licensed cosmetologist, so some of my clients who also collected trolls would bring them in for me to cut and style their hair, and paint their finger and toenails. And no, I never charged my clients extra, I did it for fun.

Yes...I know, I'm crazy. But I'm even crazier than that because I actually NAME my trolls and make up stories about them.

Many years ago one of my blogging friends, Nitebyrd, mailed me a troll, which you will soon see below. She also mailed me a second one about a year and a half ago, which you will also see.

Then, last week while I was at work, one of my dear coworkers surprised me with a gift. She gave me two trolls that her daughter originally had and was getting ready to throw out. She told her daughter, "No...don't throw them out, I'll give them to Ron, he loves trolls!"

Wasn't that awesome of her?

So, allow me to share some troll stories. The first two trolls were the ones given to me by Nitebyrd. And the second two were given to me by my coworker, who incidentally reads my blog.

*waving at her*

See...I told you I was going to blog about this!


Nikki is a part-time stripping cheerleader. And don't laugh because she makes a hefty second income stripping at some of the men's clubs, here in Philly. Yes, she may look innocent, but you should see when she rips that cheerleader costume off and twirls those pom-pom's around while dancing to the song, "Steam Heat." The audience goes WILD! And by the way, Nikki is also an Aerospace Engineer and poet. VERY multi-talented lady!


This is Zack the zombie. Zack is actually a celebrity troll because he was one of the original dancing zombies in the Michael Jackson music video....Thriller. If you ever get a chance to watch the video, look for Zack, he's in the second row of dancing zombies on the far right. He's kind of small, so it's hard to see him. But he's a killer dancer!



Now, here are my two new trolls.


This is Hilda the German barmaid. She owns and works at one of the German pubs in Philly. She serves beer on tap and hot soft pretzels with German mustard. Don't you love her little Oktoberfest outfit? And let me tell you, she makes GREAT tips because all the men think she's a hottie. And can you blame them with that FUCHSIA hair of hers? Plus, I think they dig her thick German accent.


Next up is Pierre the French artist.


An extraordinary artist, Pierre specializes in oil painting but is also very accomplished in watercolor, charcoal, and graphic design. He misses France a lot and talks of his days on the streets of Paris, painting the Eiffel Tower while smoking some grass. Additionally, Pierre is a wonderful French cook. In fact, the other night he made me a lovely Boeuf Bourguignon.


Here is a graphic design that Pierre did of me two days ago, using Photoshop. Isn't it spectacular? Oui, Oui!


I would like to conclude this post by sharing something very interesting about all female and male trolls.

Warning: if nudity offends you, you might not want to look at the next two photographs because they're a bit risque.


Do you notice anything similar between Hilda and Pierre? No? Well, scroll down to the next photo and you'll see what I'm talking about.


Have a magnifique weekend everyone!
X

Update: Hi folks! I am experiencing a major outage with my Internet service this morning, sometimes I have it and other times not. So if you don't see me online, you'll know why. Supposedly, my service will be restored in 24 hours. Let's hope so.

Update 2: Well, it looks like I got my Internet service restored, I think.

48 comments

  1. I wouldn't trust Hilda's innocent look, I reckon she's a little bombshell on the quiet. And as for that Zack, I wouldn't put much past him on a quiet night. You can't trust these trolls, you know. They get up to all sorts when you're not looking.


    Fun post, Ron, and of course I'm as jealous as hell seeing as I only have troll photographs lol.

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  2. I am most fascinated by Nikki because that's the first troll I've seen with a different face! I think you might have a news business venture with international trolls. Market them as 'educational' and parents will snap them right up!

    "....painting the Eiffel Tour and smoking grass". .......you crack me up!

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  3. Rob LenihanApril 04, 2014

    Wow, Ron, this post really took a troll on me! I remember the troll craze in the Sixties, but I believe we called them "Wishniks" in my neck of the woods.


    That's quite a crew you got there! Now I've got another reason to come down to Philly. We can catch Nikki's act and then head over to Hilda's pub for some brewskis while Pierre draws our portraits. And Zack can give us some dancing lessons.


    Yes, Ron, you are crazy, but it's the kind of crazy that this world needs more of--and I think it's contagious because now I'm wondering what happened to my trolls from the Sixties!


    Wishniking you a great weekend, buddy!


    Take care!

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  4. Ha, love it! I have a friend with some trolls; she's named them after herself and her two sisters!

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  5. I think I've still got my Troll doll somewhere -- now I know where to send it, should I ever decide to part with it!
    I remember liking to play with its hair and changing its costumes, but frankly, its face creeped me out a bit! I think it was those staring eyes, bulbous nose, and "I'm-up-to-something" smile, heehee!
    Fantastic stroll down Memory Lane, Ron -- have a super weekend!

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  6. "He misses France a lot and talks of his days on the streets of Paris, painting the Eiffel Tower while smoking some grass."


    ROFLMAO


    Pierre sound like my kind of friend!


    Ron, just when I though you couldn't get any funnier, you do. Hilarious post, dude! I agree, I think Hilda is a hottie.

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  7. "I wouldn't trust Hilda's innocent look, I reckon she's a little bombshell on the quiet. And as for that Zack, I wouldn't put much past him on a quiet night. You can't trust these trolls, you know. They get up to all sorts when you're not looking."

    Bwhahahahhaha! Valerie, that was HILARIOUS!!!

    And yes, Hilda is QUITE the bombshell! And the men go crazy for that German accent of hers!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, dear lady. Have a lovely weekend!

    X to you and Joe!

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  8. Tee, hee....I couldn't help myself! When my coworker gave me those two trolls last week, I knew I had to post about them.

    "I'm pretty sure Cabbage Patch dolls were modeled after them, and I never liked their faces, either."


    You're right, both Cabbage Patch Dolls and Trolls have that same 'blank stare' in their faces.

    "a similarity is that both Pierre and Hilda are entirely lacking in secondary sex characteristics. I hadn't realized up until this post that there aren't male and female troll dolls, only male and female troll doll clothing."

    I know, isn't that strange? They're sorta androgynous, other than their clothing.

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, girl. Have a FAB weekend!

    X

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  9. "I am most fascinated by Nikki because that's the first troll I've seen with a different face!"

    I know Bijoux, Nikki actually has more of a human face than most trolls - especially her lips and mouth.

    " I think you might have a news business venture with international trolls. Market them as 'educational' and parents will snap them right up!"



    Awesome idea!


    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, my friend. Have a terrific weekend!


    X

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  10. " I have a friend with some trolls; she's named them after herself and her two sisters!"


    HAHAHAHHAHA! Too funny, Suzi!!! See...I'm not the only CRAZY one!


    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend. Have a maaaavelous weekend!


    X

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  11. " I remember the troll craze in the Sixties, but I believe we called them "Wishniks" in my neck of the woods."

    Yes, Rob....I think I remember that as well! Back in the Sixties, trolls were the CRAZE.

    " Now I've got another reason to come down to Philly. We can catch Nikki's act and then head over to Hilda's pub for some brewskis while Pierre draws our portraits. And Zack can give us some dancing lessons."



    Bwhahahahhaha! OMG...that CRACKED ME UP, MAN!


    Much thanks for stopping by, bud. Have a most excellent weekend!


    X,
    Troll Man

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  12. "I think I've still got my Troll doll somewhere -- now I know where to send it, should I ever decide to part with it!"

    Yes Debbie...do! And I promise to do a post about them, okay?

    "I remember liking to play with its hair and changing its costumes, but frankly, its face creeped me out a bit! I think it was those staring eyes, bulbous nose, and "I'm-up-to-something" smile, heehee!"



    Yes, they do have creepy face. If it weren't for the cute clothing, they would look TOTALLY creepy. When I was a kid, trolls never came with clothes...they were NAKED.


    Thanks so much for stopping by, dear lady. Have a MARVI weekend!


    X

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  13. Hola Denise!

    Glad you got a giggle this morning. When my co-worker gave me those two trolls last week, I KNEW I had to do a post on them.

    "That last photo of the Brazilian wax is so funny I almost fell off my chair."



    HA! I couldn't resist that because they do like they're donning Brazilian waxes!


    Thanks so much for stopping by, girl. Happy Friday and have a super weekend!


    X

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  14. "Pierre sound like my kind of friend!"

    HAHAHAHAHHA! Yeah, he's a toker!

    "I agree, I think Hilda is a hottie."



    Isn't she? If you ever come to Philly, I'll take you to the pub she owns. They serve great beer!


    Thanks so much for stopping by, Matt. Have FABU weekend!


    X

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  15. OMgosh, you are so funny! Okay, I am officially SMILING! Thanks, Ron! I love your Trolls!!

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  16. Every once in awhile, I take out my troll dolls from the '60's to look at them and giggle. I kept 'em all! Even the giant giraffe one! I always keep my eyes open for new and wonderful troll dolls for you. Your co-worker ROCKS for thinking of you and gifting you with Hilda & Pierre.

    I'm sure they'll get along very well Nikki but ya gotta watch Zack - the brain eating thing and all - tends to upset folks. ;)

    Love ya, bro!

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  17. Ha ha ha! If anyone was going to collect Trolls, it would be you, Ron. I've never owned such a thing, but again, it must be because I was too old for such things when they first came out. I bet, if they made them now, for the first time, they would be markedly different sexes :)

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  18. BenzekneesApril 04, 2014

    They're coming to take you away, ho ho, ha ha, hee hee! The scary men with the little white coats, with the sleeves in the back . . .
    BTW, how come your stripper/cheerleader troll doesn't have any make up on?

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  19. Dianne WilsonApril 04, 2014

    I used to love trolls when I was a kid
    I even had the tiny ones that you could put on the tip of your pencil

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  20. Ron, you're a PISSER! I read this post at work this morning, but didn't have to comment. I laughed my ass off! Only YOU could talk about trolls and make them interesting and hysterical!

    I think I remember seeing Zack in the Thriller video. And if I remember correctly, he was the best zombie dancer in the bunch. Even better than Michael!

    "And by the way, Nikki is also an Aerospace Engineer and poet. VERY multi-talented lady!"



    LOL!


    You are too much!


    Hope your Internet service is restored!

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  21. Hey Ron, could you let Mark know that I haven't been able to comment on his last two posts when you go over to his latest post? When I hit 'Post Comment' it says that it's posting, but then it never appears. I tried on my desktop too and just doesn't go through. Thanks, Ron!

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  22. Hey there Jean!


    Aw...glad you had a SMILE! I'm a CRAZY LOON, aren't I?


    Much thanks for stopping by, my friend. Have an AWESOME weekend!

    X

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  23. Hellooooooooooo Nitebyrd!

    "Every once in awhile, I take out my troll dolls from the '60's to look at them and giggle."

    Only you would understand my crazy love of trolls, right? I was so thinking of you when my coworker gave me Hilda and Pierre because I knew I wanted to do a post including Nikki and Zack, for my readers who have never seen them before. Doesn't Nikki still look GREAT? She hasn't aged a bit - HA!

    "I'm sure they'll get along very well Nikki but ya gotta watch Zack - the brain eating thing and all - tends to upset folks. ;)"



    Bwhahahahhhahah!


    LOVE ya, Sis!


    Have a super weekend and thanks so much for stopping by!


    X

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  24. " If anyone was going to collect Trolls, it would be you, Ron."

    HA! I know Babs, aren't I a LOON?????

    "I've never owned such a thing, but again, it must be because I was too old for such things when they first came out."



    Trolls first came out, here in States, around the mid to late '60's, so I would have been about 10 or 11 years old. Back then they didn't come with clothes on, they were NAKED, so you really couldn't tell what gender they were. Then in the '90's, they were relaunched with complete outfits, distinguishing them between male and female.


    Thanks so much for stopping by, my friend! Have a lovely weekend!


    X to you and Mo!

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  25. "They're coming to take you away, ho ho, ha ha, hee hee! The scary men with the little white coats, with the sleeves in the back . . "

    HAHAHAHAHAHA! I know, Benze, the men with the little white coats ARE coming to take me away!!!!

    "BTW, how come your stripper/cheerleader troll doesn't have any make up on?"



    I took that photo of Nikki on one of her 'off days', but normally she wears lipstick, blush and even FALSE eyelashes - HA!!!!!!


    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, Benze! Have a FAB weekend!


    X

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  26. "I even had the tiny ones that you could put on the tip of your pencil."


    Yes, Dianne! OMG, I remember those!!! And I think I even had a few of them myself. Of course, I couldn't use them on my pencils at school because I went to Catholic school, so the nuns would have cracked my knuckles with a ruler for SINNING - HA!


    Thanks so much for stopping by, dear lady. Have a wonderful weekend!


    X to you, Hope, Athena, Siren, and Isadora!

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  27. Hey ho Robert!

    "I think I remember seeing Zack in the Thriller video. And if I remember correctly, he was the best zombie dancer in the bunch. Even better than Michael!"



    Bwhahahahhahahaha! OMG...that made me HOWL!


    Yes, that's because Zack was the head choreographer of the dance number!


    So far, my Internet service seems to be okay. I was on the phone this morning for OVER an hour with Verizon, trying to get me back online, only to discover that there was a major outage in Philly that effective so many people. My service kept going on and off all morning.


    I hope it stays ON.


    *fingers crossed*


    Thanks so much for stopping by, buddy. Have a FABULOUSO weekend!

    X

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  28. Hey there Bijoux! Yes, will do! I saw that he posted today, so I will going over there sometime tonight. Maybe your comments went into his spam box because that has happened to me before on his blog.


    X

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  29. I adore the multi-talented Nikki. Does she have a brother who divorced himself from the clan? *snickering* Not for me, of course...I don't indulge in extroll-curricular activities.
    :-D


    Gotta say, Hilde could use some hair stylin'...maybe it's the hat....but I was thinking braids...
    Yesyes...of course I had a troll or two. Gosh, come to think of it himself has one!! Blue hair....naked as a jaybird. LOL. I'll haffta see if I can remember to post a photo. That's after I cover up his nonexistent bits, of course. LOL. Sheeeessshhh!! At least yours come with clothing. Well, cept for the one who ate his....LOL!!

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  30. So at that time I was doing my swinging sixties thing and planning my marriage. 10 years makes all the difference, at that age ;)

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  31. You are so welcome :) I left him a comment last night and mentioned to check his spam box, just in case your comments are there.

    X

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  32. Certainly better than the other sort of troll, that's for sure Ron.
    A friend of mine got a large version of these trolls (about a foot tall and a really solid, heavy thing it was too) for a christening present.
    Imagine THAT being dangled over your crib!

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  33. "I adore the multi-talented Nikki. Does she have a brother who divorced himself from the clan? *snickering* Not for me, of course...I don't indulge in extroll-curricular activities. :-D"


    Mel...that CRACKED ME UP!!!


    "Gotta say, Hilde could use some hair stylin'...maybe it's the hat....but I was thinking braids..."


    HAHAHAHA! That was BRILLIANT and I agree...BRAIDS would look much more Germanish (if that's even a word).


    " Gosh, come to think of it himself has one!! Blue hair....naked as a jaybird. LOL. I'll haffta see if I can remember to post a photo."


    Oh yes, please do....I would LOVE to see it!! Maybe you and I could start a blog meme - "Troll Thursdays!"


    Much thanks for stopping by, dear lady. Have a super Saturday!


    X

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  34. Thanks, Dale!

    "A friend of mine got a large version of these trolls (about a foot tall and a really solid, heavy thing it was too) for a christening present.Imagine THAT being dangled over your crib!"



    OMG...how FUNNY!!!!!


    And yes, I remember those LARGE version trolls. In fact, last night while I was on the phone talking to my new nephew's wife, I mentioned those to her.


    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, buddy. Have a super weekend!


    X

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  35. Yes, it does. Isn't it funny to look back on past decades and think of what we were doing at that time?


    And here I am in 2000's STILL playing with TROLLS - HAHAHAHA!


    X

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  36. Geraldine H.April 05, 2014

    TEEE....HEEEE...


    I am also a big fan of trolls Ron, I had quite a few, years ago and yes, they had names too.


    This is a hilarious post, thanks for a big LOL to start my day. My favs were: Nikki and Hilda but they were all oh so cute!


    I'm glad your internet is back up and running, hopefully!


    Happy Weekend and hugs to you and all the gang there. Do the trolls have a fav spot in your appt. to hang out? ;-)

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  37. Great Ron, glad to here everything is fine with your Internet service. Don't you hate when you lose service? It's like you feel cut off from the whole world.

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  38. Hi Ron, I thought something was up (or down) ... hope to see you amongst the crowd soon. My blog is lonely without you and ... please note ... several others who have gone missing in the last couple of days.

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  39. Hellooooo Valerie!

    Yes, I lost my Internet service on Friday morning morning but by the time I left work, it seemed to be back on. There was some kind of outage in my area. I thought something was up because Thursday night my Internet service was very slow and acting weird. Seems to be working great now. Thank God!

    I just left you a comment on your blog. For some reason, your Friday post didn't show up on my Feedly reader, so I completely missed it. Yet its odd because your post today updated.

    Hope you're having a FAB Sunday!

    X to you and Joe!

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  40. Hey there Chrissy!

    Thank you!

    "And so multi-faceted, too."



    HA! Yes...aren't they diverse and multi-faceted little trolls?


    VERY talented.


    Yup...my weekend has been great and I got my Internet service restored - Yahoooooooo!


    Have a FAB Sunday!


    X


    P.S. Hope Maddie is doing well!

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  41. Herman TurnipApril 06, 2014

    Brazilian wax, with nary a hint of a land strip or manscaping? Heh....man, too much! You can't see me now, but I can't stop laughing...

    As for the Trolls, I think the most disconcerting thing about them is their eyes. They're not evil. They're not happy. They look a bit like they're pleading for sweet escape from the harsh truths of reality. At least, that's how I'm interpreting them. ;-)

    Awesome post, Ron!!!

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  42. "Brazilian wax, with nary a hint of a land strip or manscaping? "

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OMG...I loved that, Herman, especially the land strip!!!!

    "They look a bit like they're pleading for sweet escape from the harsh truths of reality. At least, that's how I'm interpreting them. ;-)"

    You know what? You are ABSOLUTELY right about that! BRILLIANT observation, buddy!

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by. Hope your weekend was awesome and that your class went well last week!

    X to you, Karin, and Mr. Tyler!

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  43. Mark PetruskaApril 06, 2014

    Well, the bare look is in, so they've got that going for them. Sadly, the no-genitalia look is NOT in, so they probably won't score too many second dates.


    I once had a troll, too - but was nowhere near as creative with mine. I don't even know if it was a he or a she, let alone whether (s)he stripped or did taxes for the rich or whatever.

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  44. "Sadly, the no-genitalia look is NOT in, so they probably won't score too many second dates."

    Bwhahahahha! Oh Mark...you KILL ME, man!!!!

    Outside of them wearing clothes, you can't even tell if they're male or female.

    "I don't even know if it was a he or a she, let alone whether (s)he stripped or did taxes for the rich or whatever."

    Too funny!

    Thanks for stopping by, bud. Hope you're weekend trip to Seattle was a blast. Can't wait to read about it.

    X to you and Tara!

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  45. HA HA HA HA do you know I always hear about a Brazilian wax but don't know WHAT it is? Is it a landing strip? Or completely bare? From your trolls, it looks like they rip it all off, no? I'll google... LATER. ha ha!

    I remember I had a troll and played with his hair all the time! (I also made my OWN pet rock, with googly eyes!) My troll had orange hair. I wish I still had him now!

    Now ZACK... looks like he did his own shave and let the hair just drop at his feet!

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  46. Helloooooooooooo Katherine!

    " Or completely bare? From your trolls, it looks like they rip it all off, no?"

    Yes, a Brazilian wax in completely bare - nothing at all. And I don't know why they call it Brazilian, unless Brazil is wear they started from!?

    " (I also made my OWN pet rock, with googly eyes!)"

    YES! I remember those because I had one too!

    When I was a kid, my trolls had yellow and orange hair, with NO clothing. They were completely naked.

    "Now ZACK... looks like he did his own shave and let the hair just drop at his feet!"

    Bwhahahahahahah! You're right, I never even noticed that.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, girl. Hope you're weekend was faaaaabulous! The weather here was so beautiful this past weekend, just like Spring.

    X

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  47. I hesitate to say that I still have a few trolls from MY childhood!! I found them in a sack a few months ago and simply couldn't throw them out! Maybe Peanut would like them?! ;-)

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