Friday, April 04, 2014

Troll Stories

I'm sure after reading this post, you'll be tempted to contact a mental institution and have me committed for peculiar insanity.

As most of my longtime blogging friends know, I have a small collection of trolls. In the '60's, when trolls were very popular, I had a bunch of them but eventually tossed or gave them away.

Then in the '90's, when trolls were suddenly rediscovered, my interest in them was reignited. Back then I was a licensed cosmetologist, so some of my clients who also collected trolls would bring them in for me to cut and style their hair, and paint their finger and toenails. And no, I never charged my clients extra, I did it for fun.

Yes...I know, I'm crazy. But I'm even crazier than that because I actually NAME my trolls and make up stories about them.

Many years ago one of my blogging friends, Nitebyrd, mailed me a troll, which you will soon see below. She also mailed me a second one about a year and a half ago, which you will also see.

Then, last week while I was at work, one of my dear coworkers surprised me with a gift. She gave me two trolls that her daughter originally had and was getting ready to throw out. She told her daughter, "No...don't throw them out, I'll give them to Ron, he loves trolls!"

Wasn't that awesome of her?

So, allow me to share some troll stories. The first two trolls were the ones given to me by Nitebyrd. And the second two were given to me by my coworker, who incidentally reads my blog.

*waving at her*

See...I told you I was going to blog about this!

Nikki is a part-time stripping cheerleader. And don't laugh because she makes a hefty second income stripping at some of the men's clubs, here in Philly. Yes, she may look innocent, but you should see when she rips that cheerleader costume off and twirls those pom-pom's around while dancing to the song, "Steam Heat." The audience goes WILD! And by the way, Nikki is also an Aerospace Engineer and poet. VERY multi-talented lady!

This is Zack the zombie. Zack is actually a celebrity troll because he was one of the original dancing zombies in the Michael Jackson music video....Thriller. If you ever get a chance to watch the video, look for Zack, he's in the second row of dancing zombies on the far right. He's kind of small, so it's hard to see him. But he's a killer dancer!

Now, here are my two new trolls.

This is Hilda the German barmaid. She owns and works at one of the German pubs in Philly. She serves beer on tap and hot soft pretzels with German mustard. Don't you love her little Oktoberfest outfit? And let me tell you, she makes GREAT tips because all the men think she's a hottie. And can you blame them with that FUCHSIA hair of hers? Plus, I think they dig her thick German accent.

Next up is Pierre the French artist.

An extraordinary artist, Pierre specializes in oil painting but is also very accomplished in watercolor, charcoal, and graphic design. He misses France a lot and talks of his days on the streets of Paris, painting the Eiffel Tower while smoking some grass. Additionally, Pierre is a wonderful French cook. In fact, the other night he made me a lovely Boeuf Bourguignon.

Here is a graphic design that Pierre did of me two days ago, using Photoshop. Isn't it spectacular? Oui, Oui!

I would like to conclude this post by sharing something very interesting about all female and male trolls.

Warning: if nudity offends you, you might not want to look at the next two photographs because they're a bit risque.

Do you notice anything similar between Hilda and Pierre? No? Well, scroll down to the next photo and you'll see what I'm talking about.

Have a magnifique weekend everyone!

X

Update: Hi folks! I am experiencing a major outage with my Internet service this morning, sometimes I have it and other times not. So if you don't see me online, you'll know why. Supposedly, my service will be restored in 24 hours. Let's hope so.

Update 2: Well, it looks like I got my Internet service restored, I think.