My inspiration for this post came from my dear, longtime blogging friend, Debbie @ Musings by an ND Domer's Mom, who is not only a gifted...

In fact, there’s really no point in me going to an amusement park at all, because I’ve never even been slightly AMUSED.
I can’t stand going on rides that have anything to do with spinning me in a circle; jerking my body up and down; or suddenly dropping me from 300 feet - they all freak me out.
So, what does that leave me to do?
NOTHING!
(even the merry-go-round makes me want to vomit)
I spend all my time holding other peoples coats and purses while they enjoy the rides.
(I look like a friggin’ coat-check guy)
I don’t understand WHY people enjoy doing this to themselves; having their bodies flounced around like a rag doll, and get off on feeling as though they’re falling from the Empire State Building…plunging to their death!?!
I mean, do they have some kind of secret S&M thrill-fantasy to live their life on the edge?
And if they do, why don’t they just walk down the streets of New York City for free?
Years ago when I lived Florida, I made the HUGE mistake of allowing a friend to talk me into going on the ride “Space Mountain” in Disneyworld. She was a big fat liar, telling me that the ride was NO BIG DEAL because she had been on it a dozen times and that everyone else was just exaggerating about how scary it really was.
So like an idiot, I stood in a 45 minute waiting line, while taking a mental note of my last will and testament.
As soon as we got strapped into our seats and the cars started their ascent into the pitch-black void of DARKNESS…my friend turned around and laughingly said, “You’re going to DIE!!!!!”
I looked at her with complete horror on my face and said, “I‘m going to kill you, BITCH!”
The only thing I remember about the ride, is feeling as though I had been tossed into a blender and someone pressed the button PUREE. I couldn’t even scream because I was too scared. I held onto the grip-bars so tight….I thought my hands were going to explode.
The next thing I remember, is that the ride had stopped and I was lying on the floor of the car, dripping in sweat with the seat belt wrapped around my neck.
I slowly peeled myself off the seat and then told my BITCH-friend that I needed to go the nearest restroom and compose myself.
When I looked into the mirror…I swear, I saw my hair standing straight up and totally gray and my face the color of chalk.
(I look as though I had just had a week’s worth of electrical shock therapy treatments)
When I came out of the restroom, my EX-friend was standing there laughing her ass off.
And I screamed… “YOU BETTER PRAY THAT GOD ALMIGHTY PROTECTS YOU IN YOUR SLEEP TONIGHT WOMAN!!"
Photo: Koryhoopes
Categories:
Related posts
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)