Monday, February 11, 2008

Little Shop of Horrors

For as much as I truly appreciate the beauty and benefits of the plant kingdom…I realize that I do NOT have the gift of caring for them.

(instead I possess the incredible talent of executing them)

I don’t care what I do, what I read, or what advice anyone gives me about taking care of plants…within a few months they inevitably pass on to their next life.

I once even somehow destroyed an air fern…I kid you not!

And lucky bamboo are extremely UN-lucky when they live in my house.

I seem to go along just fine with my plant care and then suddenly turn into the Little Shop of Horrors.

I either forget to water them or drown them.

I try pruning, toiling, plant vitamins, sunlight, indirect sunlight, even talking to them - and all my efforts end in death.

One of the most devastating plant losses of my life, was an adorable aloe plant that I named Oliver.

Now tell me? Have you ever heard of anyone losing an aloe plant? I mean, they can live on one drop of water for six months!! And you literally have to take a machete to them in order to end their life.

Oliver past away last year, and I still have him in the pot - I refuse to dispose of him.

(he now looks like a raisin)

He sits on my windowsill as a constant reminder of my heinous crimes.

Some people have a green thumb…however, mine is a deep BLACK.

I think I’ll just be content to sit back and enjoy the talent of other people’s ability to sustain beautiful plant life.

Such as my dear friend Diana, who lives in Florida. I mean, the woman can grow popsicle sticks! She has the most beautiful garden that literally takes your breath away. I call it, The Secret Garden - she truly has a remarkable talent.

(love ya, Kee-Kee)

So remember…if you should ever decide to get me something for a gift, I implore you to never even THINK of giving me a plant.

(perhaps a nice silk arrangement would be ok)




Photo: druydrama