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I would like to share with you one of the most bazaar things that happened to me the other day.

Apparently, I need to start wearing my reading glasses full-time now and have them strung around my neck with one of those tacky eyeglass-chain-things or perhaps even Velcro them to my ears.

I’ve noticed that my eyesight has gotten progressively weaker in the last year. I only use a 150 strength reading lens, however, I’m thinking of maybe upgrading to a TELESCOPE lens.

One day last week while I was getting ready to shave my face, I grabbed what I thought was a can of foaming shave cream from the medicine cabinet.

I proceeding to do what I normally do before applying it to my face - I shook the can to make it nice and fluffy when it came out of the dispenser.


I then proceeded to press the dispenser button, allowing the rich foamy lather to fill up my hand…

However, what came out…was pure liquid.

I’m thinking, “What the HELL???”

Again, shake…shake…shake…

I pressed the dispenser button and again…out came liquid.

I have no idea what made me take a closer at the can, but when I did I saw the most attractive words I’ve ever read…

Athlete’s Foot Liquid Spray

Yes…isn’t that marvelous?

And can you imagine if I had accidentally put that shit on my face?

Wait...on second thought…it probably would have been a very good preventative medicine for all those "kinky" sex parties I go to…


  1. ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    *wipes tear* HAHAHAHAHA OMG!!! That's Priceless!!! :-D My lips are sealed :-P xx

  2. Hi vbf~

    YES...and you better swear to NEVER tell anyone about my GROSS mistake, ok?

    I know I can trust you, dear lady.

    Shaving FOOT cream, anyone?

    Thanks for stopping by, vbf!

  3. Look at the more athlete's face.

    Look at the other wasn't jock itch cream!

  4. HOLY HELL, freaking KILL me with your freaking brilliant sense of HUMOR!!!!

    And I thank you...for helping me to see the "upside" of this otherwise embarrasing "almost" mishap!!!

    I feel better now...

  5. *clamping lips together and trying not to snicker*

    Oh dear.
    Poor baby.
    Is your face okay.



    <---sworn to secrecy

    I hate bifocals, btw. So much that I fail to slap them on to my face first thing in the morning.
    Which is how I've ended up with bizarre stuff in my coffee more than once.
    Which is why himself leaves cup, creamer and sugar sitting all by their little lonesome on the countertop for me.
    Which is why he deserves a prezzie, don'tcha think?

    I canNOT imagine putting a razor in my hands while in that state......LOL

  6. You're.freaking.hilarious!!

    You can't wear glasses now...or we won't get anymore hilarious "mistaken identity" stories. And, those are a must. :o)

    I'm sending lots of good energy with this comment, I promise!

    Thanks for the early morning laugh! (Glad the foot cream didn't end up on your face)

    Oh, just read Jeff's comment. too funny. You guys are cracking me up!

  7. Morning Mel~

    I'm to the point where I need the glasses to shave around my moustache or it gets all uneven!?!?

    And what's REALLY that I can SEE from here to Paris, France...but anything that's right in front of's HORRIBLE!?!?!

    You should see me at work. I'm always quoting the customers the WRONG prices on the products!@?@?!

    (6 and 8 look the same)

    Oh, that's too funny about bizaar stuff in your coffee.

    Watch out for that garlic looks an awful lot like surgar!?!?

    Thanks for stopping by this mornin' Mel!!!

    Ok...I'm off to shave now....

  8. Mornin' Rhea~

    And thank god it wasn't a can of deodorant!?!?

    Isn't funny though, how when those bizaar and freakish things happen to us in our eveyday lives...we suddenly think, "Damn...what a cool blog post???"

    And Jeff, YES...I feel like Laurel and Hardy.

    The guy is VERY witty!

    Thanks for stopping by, Rhea. And thanks for the "good energy".

    Enjoy your day!

  9. LOL. I can relate, unfortunately. I am blind as a bat without my glasses. Some years ago, when Right Guard Deodorant came in a spray can, I reached for what I thought was the BO stop. When I quit dancing and my pits quit burning, AND I put on my glasses, I realized I had grabbed a can of Amway instant shoe shine.

  10. Howdy Rskirk~

    Welcome! And thank you for taking the time to leave a comment.

    YOWSWER! Ouch!

    Oh, man...that is TOOOOO funny!

    But I bet you had some shiny arm pitts.'s nice to know that I'm not the only one!

  11. Ron
    That sounds like something I would do, and I have perfect vision. I just don't pay attention because I am always in a hurry.
    I am a bit concerned about your last paragraph though.....LOL!!

    rskirk's comment reminded me of something my dad once told me. My dad's uncle, my great uncle, can I say this nicely....his elevator doesn't go to the top floor, he is one nugget short of a Happy Meal, he is a freaking looney toon, okay??
    Well, my dad has always taken great joy in messing with his uncle. One time my dad convinced his uncle that Right Guard was for using on your face after you shave. You'd have to hear my dad personally immitate the howl that his uncle let out when he sprayed it on his freshly shaven face to really appreciate the humor in this. I'll never forget that story.

  12. um.. *snicker*

    how um... *gigglesnort*

    unfortunate...*falls over wheezing*


    To prevent such an occurence, maybe you should keep stuff for the lower half under the sink?

    I won't tell a soul... promise. You do believe me, right?

  13. Ooops!!! Lol!
    Ok i promise not to tell!!

  14. Hi RON! OMG I was on the floor laughing (i am sure it was NOT funny though when it happened - so I do empathise with that part lol!) -- I am still on blog break but just stopping by to say HELLO :) HUGS! Great posts too Ron -- I had all this catching up to do... (read: my excuse for taking an extra work break!)

  15. lol I only started to wear my glasses at work when I found myself peering at the order forms at close quarters....I hate to think how many times I have sent out the wrong product because I read the part number wrong.

    I know exactly where each can/bottle is in he bathroom that saves these problems. Not that I have to use shaving cream on my face. The only shaving I do I wouldn't be able to see with or without glasses.

  16. Oh Ron, what are you like???

    Pssst I won't tell a soul. ;)

  17. Evening Nicole~ FUNNY!!!!

    Your dad sounds like a wonderfully crazy guy!! And what's REALLY funny, is that Right Guard DOES sound like something you could use on your face after shaving!!

    Between my eyesight AND the fact I was also NOT paying attention...I almost had a "fungus-free" face!!!

    I know...and aren't I wicked about the "kinky" sex parties?

    I WISH!

    Thanks for stopping by today, Nicole!

    P.S. and remind your husband to LOOK before he sprays!

  18. Evening Anndi~

    GREAT seeing ya!

    Hey...that's actually a GREAT idea about keeping my shaving stuff under the sink!!!

    At the time, I had it on a shelve cluttered with other products!?!

    Thanks for the tip!

    And yes...I TOTALLY trust you...I mean...your another LIBRA!!

    Thanks so much for dropping in today for a read, Anndi!

  19. Evening Casdok~

    I know that I can TOTALLY trust you not to breathe a word!

    And thank you!!!


    Thank you for your visit, dear lady. Hope you had wonderful day!


    What a WONDERFUL surprise to see you!!!

    I stopped by your blog several times, to see if you were back yet. I just stared at it...missing you!

    I'm sure you're having a great time on your break and doing all sorts of wonderful things.

    I know you'll be back when the time is right...but please know that you are thought of often and are very missed!

    Thank you so much for taking the time to visit...that just MADE my day!!!


    P.S. and remember...put your glasses on before you shave your legs!!

  21. Evening Lady in Red~

    I too!

    At work I really should have my glassed with me at all times. Customers are always asking for prices, and some the print is SO small I feel like I need binoculars!

    And I can't tell you HOW MANY pairs of glasses I've lost too!

    That's why I LOVE the Dollar Store!!!


    I think I'll try doing what YOU and Anndi do - keep things in CERTAIN I can simply grab them when needed.

    Thanks for stopping by, dear Lady.

    Enjoy your evening!

  22. Kinky sex parties! Ron! I'm SO impressed! Do tell more .... LOL!

    I am glad that you were awake enough to realize your error before it got to your face. You need some "Coochy Creme" to shave, it's maaaahvalous!

  23. Evening Akelamalu~

    Thanks, my friend!

    I KNOW that I can always count on you to keep my secrets....HUSHED!



    It's always great SEEING you!!


  24. Howdy Nitebyrd~


    Yes...behind my mild exterior...lies a beast of burden!

    I can just IMAGINE what "Coochy Creme" is for!!

    (tell me...does it TINGLE like a York Peppermint Patty?)


    I'm thinking of starting another blog called, "De-Kink the Mysteries of Kink."

    It will envolve the secrets of coochy creme and atheletes foot spray!

    And maybe you could be a guest blogger!?!?!

    Hey...I can't WAIT to hear about your recent trip!

    Thanks for stopping by, dear Nitebyrd. You always add such awesome energy and WIT!

  25. Oh No...that is so funny, foot in mouth Disease....the posibilities are endless.
    the worst i ever heard was someone, some how mistaking superglue for lubrication...they had to be surgically removed. At least your thing was did you put shaving cream on your feet? very hobbit like LOL

  26. Hiya Enigma!

    Oh dear GOD....that is TOOOOOOOO funny!!!!!

    I'm CRACKING UP, here!!

    That's much better than MY story!!


    I bet that was the LONGEST love-making session in history!

    Can you imagine having to explain that at the hospital???

    YES...I then proceeded to shave my did you guess?

    Thanks for sharing that hysterical tale, dear lady. You've added MUCH humor to this vent!

    It's always a pleasure seeing ya!

  27. Loved it Ron! You are too funny!!

    Some years ago my Aunt was running late (as usual) for an important business meeting. Just before she ran out the door she grabbed her hair spray and sprayed her hair. It wasn't hair spray was a can of spray starch. :)

    Thanks for another good vent and laugh! Love ya!

    Ps I forgot here is the site just remember it is still a work in progress :O

  28. Evening Dearest Gypsy-Heart~

    Oh dear God....I'm laughing my ASS off right now!!!

    That is the FUNNIEST thing I've ever heard!!!!!

    Well...I bet her hair had STIFF hold that day!! That is hysterical!

    Thank you for sharing that with me, dearest heart!!

    And thank you for the web address. I can't wait to go see it!

    ALWAYS such a treat to see you!!!

    Love ya!

  29. Hey, at least your hand won't be itching for quite a while.

    You ever put eye drops in your ears? Yeah, I know someone who did that ;-)

    Your secret is safe with me!

  30. Evening Misty Dawn~

    That's VERY true!!! No "itchy-face" for me!!!!

    And that's SOOO funny about the "eye drops."

    Hey...I bet they could SEE a pin drop!


    Thanks for your visit, dear lady. It's always so nice seeing you!