Friday, April 04, 2008

Wash, Fold...Dryer

This is just a little something that I witnessed while I was in the laundry room of my apartment building, one delightful and irritating afternoon.

On this particular day, the laundry room was unusually busy and there were several tenants waiting in line to use the facilities.

Having all 22 washers and dryers going at the same time, made the room extremely hot and uncomfortable.

(and I would rather have my eyes poked with a straight pin…than be HOT)

So between the long waiting, and the 150,000 degree heat…I felt like I was having my monthly Bastard PMS and simultaneously going through male menopause.

(which I call, Man-o-pause)

Now on top of this, please let me share with you what I had to endure, which was truly a test of my patience and a faith in a higher power to stop me from SCREAMING.

As I was waiting to use a washer, I noticed a lovely middle-aged couple getting ready to transfer their clean, wet clothes from the washer to a dryer.

(oh, goody…now hurry up and get the hell out of my way)

However, I could tell from the way they were moving, that I was probably going to need a straight jacket, when the little men with the white coats came to transfer me to the mental institution.

I watched as the woman proceeded to take each piece of clothing (one by one) from the washer to the dryer. BUT… before she placed them into the dryer, she folded each article of clothing as if she was placing them in her dresser drawer and putting them away.

Example: She took a man’s long sleeve sport shirt and slowly carried it to the dryer. She then carefully folded it, as if she was an employee at the GAP; folding clothes after the store closed. And not only did she fold it, but she strategically placed it in the dryer and then gently patted it, as you would a puppy on the head.

Example: She took a pair of slacks and brought them over to the dryer and folded them; making sure there was a nice crease down the center of the pant legs. She then folded the pants in half and gently placed them strategically into the dryer; making sure they didn’t interfere with where she had just placed the shirt. Again…she gently patted the pants like a little puppy.

(slowly my blood pressure rose to 250 over 250)

I stood there watching her with my lips tightly perched together and my eyes spinning around like a slot machine as she went back and forth…back and forth, from the washer to the dryer….and the dryer to the washer…

(and this is no exaggeration, I kid you not)

She folded everything from socks to underwear.

And in my mind I’m thinking, “ Does this friggin’ idiot have any friggin’ idea, that when she turns the friggin’ dryer on, her friggin’ clothes are going to fly around like a friggin’ TORNADO???”

I’m sorry…but I just don’t understand this kind of normal behavior…