Monday, June 09, 2008

I'm DYIN' ova' heeea!

I thought I’d get this one major vent over with, and be done.

As most of you already know, I despise being hot.

(and hot to me is anything over 55 degrees)

I lived in Florida, so I’ve dealt with hot and humid weather.

However, summer in the northeast can be just as horrendous - especially if you live in a city.

City heat is a unique experience all it’s own….

Philadelphia is a city that’s predominately made of brick. And I ask you…what are most professional pizza ovens made of?

Uh huh…

So I would just like everyone to know that for the next 2 ½ months…I’ll be a pizza with pepperoni and black olives.

And it’s not just the heat that drives me insane…it’s what the heat DOES.

It makes the world around me smell like a huge litter box.

It magnifies every odor, to the point where I want to walk around with a wooden clothespin on my nose.

I honestly think there should be street vendor’s on the corner of every block, selling little body hygiene kits, so that people can purchase them to refresh throughout the day.

You’ve no idea how much fun it is to walk down the street and suddenly get caught in a wake of sweet smelling body odor.

Or to catch a whiff of food garbage, permeating from all the trash dumpsters.

(I just want to die)

And as you know, heat causes everything to rise…so the various scents, noise, and high temperature from the city’s subway system, continually adds to the sensory overload.

Also, heat does something to the overall energy of the city.

Because of the closeness of the buildings the heat gets trapped, and as a result, causes everyone’s blood pressure to rise…thus, making them impatient and just plan nasty.

Today, on the way home from work, I witnessed a woman being harassed by a street bum and heard her scream, “GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME…IT’S TOO DAMN HOT TO DEAL WITH YOU TODAY!!!”

Aaaaaah….summer in the city.

It sucks a BIG one!

Ok…I’m finished venting now…