Monday, July 28, 2008

Let's Eat Some Bread Mold...Shall We?

I had such a delightful experience happen to me this past weekend, that I just couldn’t resist sharing it with you.

On Friday afternoon, I purchased some of the most delicious looking whole wheat pita bread that I’d ever seen.

I usually enjoy pita with some hummus and veggies or even with some feta cheese and tomato sauce.

Yummy!

The package came with two fairly large pita pockets that were almost the size of a small pizza crust.

Later that evening I ate an entire piece with dinner, and then couldn’t wait to eat the other one with lunch the next day.

It was on the second day that I noticed several small dark areas on the bread, but because it was whole wheat and also because the bread had a sort of “kettle-style” potato chip surface, I never gave it a second thought.

So I continued to eat….

And as I was just getting ready to place the final piece into my mouth, I noticed that one of the small dark areas had FUZZ on it.

I quickly grabbed my reading glasses and examined the bread closer.

HOLY SHIT….the entire piece of pita was covered in GREEN MOLD!!

I immediately starting wondering if the first piece I’d eaten contained mold too!?!?

Suddenly, I could even finish my meal.

I kept imagining big balls of dark green fuzzy mold growing on the lining of my intestines, where it would stay there for eternity and continue to grow until it consumed every internal organ of my body.

I thought of the movie ALIEN.

(I also thought of making an appointment for a high colonic)

I finally had to stop myself from thinking about it, because it was totally weirding me out. And I actually went on the Internet and googled Bread Mold.

Oh well…I guess I learned a valuable lesson from this experience.

To READ the expiration date on the bread before I purchase it.

And the next time I eat ANYTHING…

WEAR my reading glasses!

And if by chance I should suddenly happen to succumb to “green-bread-mold-consumption”… I’m relying on you dear readers, to tell the coroners office that they can go into my blog archives, where they will find the cause...

Fucking Pita bread.