Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Nose-Picking in Public

I realize that occasionally we all need to take our finger and either scratch the inside of our nose; dislodge some nasal trash; or adjust a misplaced nose hair from tickling us.

But today, while I was in Borders sitting on the floor reading a book, my eyes suddenly caught the delicious sight of a gentleman seated directly across from me, picking his nose.

It started as a subtle pick, but then gradually moved into an entire production number.

I watched, as his index finger moved deeper and deeper into his nose canal, until it completely disappeared past the first knuckle.

Then he started moving his finger in wide circles, as if he was trying to stretch out his nostril, so he could get that digit even deeper.

With my horrified eyes, peering across the tops of my reading glasses, I’m watching this continue for like a full two minutes.

And for the entire duration of this nose-picking event …his eyes never left the page of the book that he was reading.

(talk about some great multi-tasking)

Anyway…deeper and deeper his finger continued to dredged for oil, until I wanted to let out a SCREAM…

“HOLY SHIT MAN…WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO DO…REACH YOUR PITUITARY GLAND!?!?!?”

Jeeees!

Ok…an occasional discrete nose-picking, I can totally understand…

But if you have a BOOGIE that’s THAT deep…I think you’re in dire need of some liquid DRAINO.

Or some sort of MEDICAL procedure.

And for heavens sake…please stop FINGERING yourself in public…it’s VERY unattractive!