Monday, October 06, 2008

Ron's Family Album

Saturday night while having a glass of Pinot Noir, I went through a box of old family photos and decided to share a bit of my family tree with you.

Please forgive the quality of these photos, but after all, they date back to the pre-historic age of 1955.

(Fred Flintstone BC)

So let us begin where it all started…my mother and father...

Mom and Dad

I had to place two photos together in order to show you my mother and father, before I was born.

(both of my parents are on right, in each of these photos)

Wasn’t my mom sexy? And my dad a stud puppy?

My Christening

(my sister, godmother and godfather)

I’m actually inside the little white bundle that my aunt is holding.

(and notice how she's holding the blanket over my face…because I’m almost SURE that I was probably screaming at the top of my lungs)

Lying Around

This is me lying on my parents bed, contemplating on whether or not I should tell my mother that I just shit my diaper.

Notice how my mother twisted my hair into a point on the top of my head, making me look like the Gerber Baby.

(look the expression on my face…I look like I’m BORED out of my friggin’ mind)

Private Conversations

This my mother and I having a deep conversation, that one day, I would be starting a blog…and would most likely be showing all of you this photo.

(notice the fabric pattern on that sofa…it looks like a fake backdrop on a movie set)

Music Lessons

This is my mother teaching me how to play the maracas.

(I think she thought I‘d grow up to be Ricky Martin)

Brotherly Love

This is my older brother and I.

And what the hell is that HORRIFYING look on my face???

I look as though I had just seen a poltergeist hovering over the photographers head.

The Little Drummer Boy

This is me playing my brothers cowboy drums.

I look like I just finished off a bottle of Robitussin Cough Syrup…with CODEINE.

Siblings

This is my sister and brother sitting in front of our fake fireplace.

They looked so cute didn’t they?

New Years Eve

This is my family subjecting me to the drunkenness of their New Years Eve Party.

And the totally POLLUTED man in the center is my uncle…right after he fell on my mother.

I’m the one with the pointy paper hat, thinking to myself, “Get me the friggin' HELL out of here!”

(My brother and sister are on the right)

Freaks

I have no earthy idea who these three freakish people are…

…but they scared the SHIT out of me!

(I wonder if the woman on the left is wearing a bra?)

My First Date

This is me on my first date.

(there was a bit of a "height issue"…but we were able to move past it)

My Family in Color

This is one of the first colored photos of my family.

(and I think the film only used one color…PINK!)

My First Job

This is my boss and I during my first job at K-Mart.

I was a checker.

(and do you think I could have possibly gotten that tie any WIDER?)

It looks like a surfboard hanging from my neck!





Well… there you have it folks.

A rare and exotic glimpse into the family tree of the author of this blog…

…and it’s no wonder that I call it…VENT!!!