Wearing My Mothers Earrings


I’m about to share a strange secret that will most likely make you never want to read my blog again.

So it was nice knowing you…. bye.

Sometimes when I was a little boy, whenever my parents would go out for the afternoon and I was all alone, I would spend some time rummaging through my mothers jewelry drawer; trying on her clip-on earrings.

I mean, it’s not like I ever pretended that I was Bette Davis or Joan Crawford, or anything…

…but rather that the “female half of me" needed to come out and play.

(don‘t you love how I rationalize things?)

Anyway…

I remember this one particular Saturday afternoon when my parents left the house, and I immediately ran to their bedroom so I could attacked my mothers earrings.

She had recently purchased a pair of new ear bangles, that had large hoops dangling from the clips.

So I carefully snapped them on my lobes and then took a curious look at myself in the mirror.

HOT DAMN…I looked like Cher!

I gently flipped my head from side to side, so I could feel the hoops hit my neck…when suddenly out of nowhere, my sister appeared at the doorway.

Well…

…you never saw a little boys face turn the BRIGHTEST shade of RED in all your life!

I said: “Wwwwwhat are YOU doing here, I thought you were out?”

And laughingly she said: “I can’t WAIT to tell mom and dad about this!”

HOLY SHIT…I’d been caught!!!

So I quickly pulled off the DAMN earrings and ran to my bedroom, where I got down on my knees and prayed to almighty god that my sister would suddenly lose the ability to speak for the rest of her life.

When my parents got home that evening, I thought that my sister would immediately run downstairs and start flapping her lips…but she didn’t.

And then I thought that MAYBE she decided to have mercy on me and wasn’t going to tell them.

But I was WRONG.

She was only waiting for the perfect moment…

After the entire family was seated at the dinner table, we all began to eat our salads.

And then my sister (in her smarmy-ass voice) said: “I have something I would like to TELL everyone.”

And my mother said: “Yes…what is it?”

My sister replied: “I would just like to let everyone know, that this afternoon I caught RONNIE in mom and dads bedroom, trying on mommies earrings!”

And just at that moment…

…I heard five salad forks hit the table.






And shit... look at me now!




Have a FUN weekend, everyone!

35 comments

  1. Dare I ask about the sister's wellbeing?

    And just so ya know.....

    <-- ain't THAT easy to get rid of

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  2. ROARING over here!!!! LOLOLOL

    I'd say you look pretty darn cute and sassy in those dangles. ;)
    I've got some old pairs of high heels you can have because they make Mimi's feet too hurty. haha

    Okay, okay.....
    I'm ready to share something.
    When me and hubs were very young, and I think our daughter was just born, he worked the night shift at a college as a janitor basically for some health benefits. It sure wasn't for the salary. Anyway, I don't remember the exact situation but going back all those years I'm guessing that with a new baby we had fallen behind on wash being we had to haul it to the next building to do. So one night he wore a pair of my jeans to work. Not like anyone would have cared what he wore to clean toilets, ya know? But back in the early '80's I had a pair or two of stone-washed 'baggies' in a very blue blue color and another in a brown with some rust stripes. LOL
    The craziest of crazy things happened.....
    His sister attended that college and happened to be there for something... a night class?... meeting friends?.... and saw him there. Of course being the same age as me and a girl, she KNEW they were my jeans. (don't remember which pair he actually had on)
    She didn't say anything to him but freaking called his father and told him!!!! He got a call a day or two later from him saying that he should not be wearing my jeans to work. OMG OMG OMG She's always been a bit of a rat and has had the occasion now and then to say something, get everyone all hopped up about it, and then conveniently deny it was meant to start any trouble. It would be like... 'I don't think I said anything'... or 'I didn't say it like THAT'...
    Beauty queens (and yes, she did win a major pageant) have a habit of secretly loving a little extra drama. LOL And quite frankly, something started over the Christmas holiday too. She said something, their mother took it the wrong way, added her own opinions into the mix, and Ron got told about it a couple days later. It was quite a bad scene recently and tensions with some of his family are a bit high right now.
    But SIL is back to her busy busy busy world of career and children and activities and more activities and hasn't a care in the world about it all. And Ron, who's the dearest, sweetest, most wonderful son, brother, father and husband is STILL dealing with these silly family issues that pop up. Forty-seven years old and he has to explain himself to a family that should KNOW how amazing he is. OMG

    Oops... I'm 'venting' too much.

    That was a terrific story from your childhood. I sure enjoyed it. And I totally LOVE your new picture, with or without the earrings.

    Have a great weekend, my friend.

    p.s. there's a few crystal dangles on my Etsy page that you might like. tee hee

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  3. Oh! Ron! You are so funny! My son love to wear nail polish when he was little. Mulder would FREAK OUT when he saw it.

    Stop reading your blog? NEVER! I'd miss all these pee-your-pants-laughing moments!

    Thanks for sharing, Bro!

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  4. That's ok... I used to sneak in Dad's stuff and wear his athletic cup (sadly, I would have needed 2 to get the bra to look even...)

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  5. *grin* Ya missed me, didn't you?


    Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

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  6. Hellooooo Mel!!

    You're so sweet!

    Thank you dear lady for sticking around!!!!

    Now...

    ...you wouldn't have any dangling earrings I could borrow, would you?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    I'm such a silly man!

    OH...and about my sister?

    Well...

    ..one day I promise to share a post about how I tried on her fishnet stockings and TORN a hole in them by accident.

    ummm...

    ...well maybe it WASN'T an accident!?

    Tee, hee!

    Thanks for stopping by Mel!

    Happy Friday to ya!
    X

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  7. I call you killer cause you slay me!!!!

    my son used to play with my make-up - many around me freaked out about it - I thought it was fabulous

    he was artistic and curious

    years later he told me he did it because he wanted to be like KISS

    and my response was - "I know, shame - I was hoping you were gay"

    he doesn't know what to do about me ;)

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  8. Hi Crystal Chick!

    Thanks dear friend....I was actually thinking of asking you to be an earring model for your Etsy Shop!!

    HAHAHHAHA!

    Listen, I wear a I size 9 in womens shoes (and I only know this because when I played the Wicked Witch in Cinderella I had to wear heels)...so if they're 9's...I may just consider taking them off your hands for when the "female in me" decides to come out and play again!

    OMG...your SIL sounds EXACTLY like my SISTER!!!

    (but the only difference is that my sister was NOT a beauty queen!!)

    Don't you LOVE family DRAMA??

    My family has it too.

    But hell...it makes for AWESOME blog posts, doesn't???

    I added my new photo to the bottom of my blog about a week ago, it was a photo taken when I first moved back to Philly. My hair is cut differently now (and grayer), but I pretty much look the same.

    Thanks SOOOOOOOOO much for stopping by and sharing your story, M!

    And listen...you can vent all you want on this blog. I mean, that's why it's called VENT!

    So GO GIRL!

    Have a FABU weekend, M!
    X

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  9. Howdy Nitebyrd!

    Thanks Sis!

    Since you and I are long lost siblings (and share the SAME genetic humor), I knew you'd stick around for more CRAZINESS!!

    OMG...your story about your son wearing nail polish was PRICELESS!

    Hey...now-a-days with the "goth look" I see MANY guys walking aroung the city with wearing black nail. And I actually think it's GREAT!

    As ALWAYS...I thank you for dropping by and sharing your wonderful energy and WIT!

    You ROCK!

    Have a FUN weekend!
    X

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  10. HOLY SHIT ANNDI!!!

    I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AT YOUR HYSTERICAL COMMENT!!

    THAT WAS FABULOUS!!!

    YES!!!! I'VE MISSED YOU GREATLY!!

    And I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy to see that you're back!

    I know MANY of us are!

    Hope you had a wonderful break and that you got the quiet time you wanted.

    Thanks for stopping my TWIN!

    Have a FUN weekend!

    X

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  11. OMG....Dianne!!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!

    Like I shared on my comment on your blog last night...YOU ARE FREAKING BRILLIANT!!!

    Your awesome humor always gives me such great delight!

    And I bet you're one hell of a FABULOUS mom too!

    Thank you for not only sharing your humor, but also your special spirit!

    Have a FUN weekend, dear lady!

    X

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  12. Unless you killed a child there is nothing else that would make me stop visiting you Ron m'dear.

    Sisters (or in my case brothers) can be little shits can't they!

    When my boys were little they used to try on all they granny's jewellery. They also used to love it when granny would sit and let them make her up - I thought they were budding make-up artists but no such luck!

    Have you got your own earrings now? (wink)

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  13. Good Morning Akelamau!

    awwwww...thank you!

    You're such a SWEET lady, you are!

    And no...I don't have my earrings on just yet...

    ...I'm waiting until I go grocery shopping later this afternoon!

    HAHAHAHHAAHA!

    And your story about your boys putting makeup on granny was SO precious!

    I use to love watching my mother put her makeup on. And I knew at that EXACT moment...I would one day be a makeup artist, because I kept telling her that her eyebrow pencil was UNEVEN.

    Tee, hee!

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by today, my friend!

    Enjoy your weekend!

    X

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  14. Hi Ron,
    Happy New Year to you dear !!
    Well,well... When you think that you know someone ! He hehe !
    It didn't scare me; I'm still here.

    Boy, oh boy; sibling rivalry ... I can almost imagine a smug and self satisfied expression on her face.
    Oh; didn't we hate "tattletales" as kids .

    I bet you were hot in those hoops, and babe ! That would have been one hell of a photo ;)

    BTW Ron, a very sincere Thank you for your so marvellous blog award . That is one fantastic honor to kick off the year with.

    Big big hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    and see you soon.

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  15. Bonjour Barbara!

    OMG...GREAT to see ya!!!

    And HAPPY NEW YEAR to YOU!!!!

    WELCOME BACK TO BLOGLAND!!

    You've been very missed too!!

    Hope you had a nice rest.

    And you're so welcome about the award. It gave me great pleasure to share it with you. You're an awesome friend and writer...so ENJOY!

    And YES...don't you love my EARRINGS?? They're a TAD larger than the ones I tried from my mom, but I think their ok for 2009!

    HAHHAHAHHA!

    Thanks for stopping by to let me know you're back, Barb!

    I'll be making my blog rounds later this evening, so I'll be seeing ya soon!

    Have a fun weekend!

    X

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  16. You're going to have to try harder than that to scare us off buddy!

    That was a riot. I'll bet your face looked like a giant tomato, and your evil sister probably had a shit eating grin from ear to ear.

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  17. Howdy Jeff!

    Thanks bud!

    OMG...and you're SOOOOO right, my face looked like a freaking tomato with earrings on!!!

    And my sister?

    Well...

    ...she looked like SATAN!

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Thanks for dropping by, Jeff!

    Have a FUN weekend!

    P.S. Hey...and I hear we'e getting some SNOW this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  18. No honey, we WUUUUUUUUUUBS you! :)

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  19. Aloha Debi!

    Thank you, sweet lady!

    Now...

    ...do have any pierced earrings from Chanel I could borrow?

    I only wear designer shit.

    I'm such a snotty bitch!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Thanks for dropping by Deb!

    Enjoy your weekend!

    X

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  20. ron, what a gorgeous man you are! and I will never call you ronnie again, promise!

    and you are gorgeous with or without earrings...some of my best man friends were earrings and women's panties, I'm sure of it *grins*

    ok, that's enough from me, I think....but one thing, did you ever have the nerve to try them on again? :)

    XO

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  21. Hello Linda!

    Oh...you're too sweet!

    Thank you dear lady.

    *you can't see me, but I'm blushing!

    OMG...you're comment about some of the men you know who wear earrings and women's panties....CRACKED ME UP!!!!

    That's a HOOT!

    No, I never tried them on again after my EVIL SISTER told on me, but later in life I actually got my one ear pierced. In fact, I have two piercings in one ear, but haven't worn an earring in SO many years, I'm sure they closed up by now.

    But DAMN...when I did wear them, I had all sorts of HOOPS coming out of my ear!!!

    My earlobe looked like a ride at Disney World!

    HAHHAHAHHA!

    Thanks SOOOO much for stopping by to read my strange secret, Linda!

    And you can STILL call me Ronnie, if you'd like...everyone does.

    Ronnie The Earring Man

    Have a FAAAAAAAAABULOUS weekend!

    X

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  22. Sorry, "snotty bitch",
    but I can't afford that shit.
    But if I see the fake Chanel stuff from Korea at the swap meet again, I'll pick up some clip-ons for ya! :) Maybe I'll pick me up a hair accessory and we can MATCH! I once got a fake Ferragamo headband. It was nice, I think I paid $2 or $3 for it, and you could only tell if you looked REAL close that it said "Ferragangs" on it LOL.
    I'm only going to Macy's tomorrow. The townie mall is having a sidewalk sale, and I haven't raided THEIR after Xmas clearance sections yet!

    With mucho wubs,
    the cheapskate bitch

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  23. I would have planted an atheletic jock in my sister's pocket as my mother was about to do the wash. Then who would turn red?
    So you wore mother's earrings when you were small we all did that my friend. Now my earing is gold and I love it.

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  24. You are so adorable Ron!
    I don't often get to stop by or even comment, but your blog will never leave my blog list ever! You are a gem!

    And nothing wrong with a little "experimenting" when you're a child, right?? I believe we are ALL guilty of it! Just imagine what you did NOT catch your sister doing all those years! Tee hee.
    xo

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  25. Aloha Debi!

    OMG...you KILL ME, GIRL!!!

    Hey listen, if the truth be told...I can't offord the REAL stuff either!

    I actually worked for Chanel for 6 years, and we had a Chanel boutique in the department store that I was located in. I worked
    as makeup artist for the company. They gave us a TREMENDOUS discount 3 times a year and even with THAT...I still couldn't see spending the money on a Chanel leather wallet!?!?

    Especially since I wouldn't have had any money to go INSIDE the wallet!!!

    tee, hee!

    Hey...and have fun at the sidewalk sale! I KNOW you'll find some great deals!!!

    Thanks for stopping by Deb!

    Sincerely,
    Coco Chanel

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  26. HOLY SHIT Dave!!!

    THAT would have been BRILLIANT!!!

    HAHAHAHHAHAHA!

    Yea, I'm discovering through this post that MANY boys did the same as children!

    See...

    ...there is no such thing as NORMAL!?!?!?

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    I also have a piercing in one of my ears, and one of these days I should see if I can still get an earring in. I think I still have a few earrings in a box somewhere in my apartment.

    Thanks for stopping by today and sharing in my little secret, buddy!

    Hope you're having an awesome weekend.

    It's FREEZING here in Philly!

    YEPPPE!

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  27. Hellooooo Kate!!!

    YAAAY!

    It's SOOOOOO wonderful seeing ya, dear lady!

    Thanks for stopping by!

    Hey listen, I TOO don't always get to stop by everyone's blogs, so please....no worries. I simply enjoy that people stop by whenever they feel like it. I wish people to always feel relaxed here.

    And you're so sweet, Kate. Thank you. I have your blog on my blog list too!

    OMG...I actually DID catch my sister doing MANY things when we were kids, but I never told my parents. And what's REALLY cool...is that they eventually found out on their own anyway!

    *that KARMA will get you...everytime!

    HAHAHAHAHHAHA!

    Anyway, I hope you had a GREAT Christmas and a VERY Happy New Year!

    Have a FUN weekend, Kate!

    X

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  28. You made me laugh tonight..and I knew you would. :)

    I used to try on my Mother's jewelry too...and her négligées! My little sister could not tell, because she did too. We also pretended we were drinking wine..with the wine glasses!!:O

    What a sweet face you have...beautiful eyes, dear Ron.

    LY!

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  29. Good Evening Dearest Gypsy-Heart!

    OMG!!!!!

    IT'S SOOOOOOO FABULOUS TO SEE YA!!!

    HOW ARE YA????

    I've been offline for most of the day, because I wanted to spend the afternoon walking around outside in all this FREEZING weather we're having. You know ME....Mr. Penguin!

    I also watched a movie this afternoon. Ghost. I'd forgotten how much I LOVED that film!

    Anwyay...aren't the earrings to DIE FOR?? Thursday night, I played with my photo over at Picnik and added the ear bangles!

    I think I look like Cher, don't you?

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    Oh...that's so funny about you and your sister trying on your mothers negligees and pretending to drink WINE!!!

    I use to smoke my mothers cigarette butts in the ashtray! Isn't that disgusting??

    You're so sweet, my friend...thank you for your sweet words about my photo.

    *but don't tell anyone...that's actually a photo of my SISTER after she went through the change.

    Tee, hee!

    Thanks for stopping by dear lady!

    You always bring such LIGHT!

    Love ya!

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  30. ronnie: Oh hahaha. I would have loved to have been there...when the salad forks hit the table. It's best to laugh through it...yes. And we do. hehehehe.

    Oh and you must have looked so very wondeful with them on...and I say your sis was a tad envious that the ear rings looked so much better on you than on her...after all I'm sure she was rushing in thee to try mom's earrings on too. hehehe.

    My little one likes to walk in my heels. And a damn good job he does for 19 month old to do. He's a genius and it show how well his balance is. :D

    Stop reading youer blog!!! No noes...nevah!

    Now tell me did you ever do anything to get back at sis? hehehe. I loved playing pay backs.

    okay like this one time one of my sister's b/fs called for her but I said she was on a date...ooops. Well, my sis was on a date...I had 8 sisters. I was confused. hehehe.

    ciao honey...have a fab Sunday. :D

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  31. Good Morning Miss Jones!

    It's funny, I called my mother on Friday evening and told her that I posted this story on my blog and the two of us laughed our asses off remembering!!!

    YES, you're right...I think my sister WAS envious...

    ...because I look much better in SILVER than she does!

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Hey...and your 19 month old DOES sound like a GENIUS! My god, to be not even two years old and able balance himself in heels, is AMAZING!!

    ooooh.....ooooh...and how hysterical of you to tell your sisters boyfriend that she was out on a date!!!

    GREAT PAY BACK!!!!!!!

    Thanks for stopping by today Miss Jones!

    Hope you're having a vunderbar Sunday!

    It's FREEZING here right now, so I'm going to spend part of the day walking around the city enjoying every single minute of it!!!

    (of course I'll need my Chapstick)

    Tee hee!

    Ciao bella!
    X

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  32. Lovin' the look, Ron... I used to wear my mom's earrings, too... in jr. high school... I got my ears pierced in 3rd grade... My mom had the COOLEST earrings and 70s clothes... Too bad we didn't know each other as kids... we could have played "dress up!!" Take care and hope you had a GREAT WEEKEND!!
    Hugs from France, Leesa

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  33. Bonjour Leesa!

    OMG...that would have been a BLAST!

    We could of dressed up like ROYALTY and had tea party and then you could have served use one of those FABULOUS cupcakes you make!

    Earl Grey and cupcakes....

    ...what could be BETTER???

    HAHAHAHHHA!

    Thanks for stopping by Leesa!

    Hope you had a GREAT weekend too!

    X from Philly!

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  34. LOL...just some childhood memories which I'm glad you shared...Thank you :D

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  35. Greetings Shionge~

    Welcome!

    Thanks for dropping by and taking the time to leave a comment!

    I think I've seen you over at Daves blog before, so it's nice to meet you.

    YES...some childhood memories come back to HAUNT us!

    Tee, hee!

    Please stop by anytime, you're always welcome here!

    Enjoy your evening!

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