My inspiration for this post came from my dear, longtime blogging friend, Debbie @ Musings by an ND Domer's Mom, who is not only a gifted...
I’m about to share a strange secret that will most likely make you never want to read my blog again.
So it was nice knowing you…. bye.
Sometimes when I was a little boy, whenever my parents would go out for the afternoon and I was all alone, I would spend some time rummaging through my mothers jewelry drawer; trying on her clip-on earrings.
I mean, it’s not like I ever pretended that I was Bette Davis or Joan Crawford, or anything…
…but rather that the “female half of me" needed to come out and play.
(don‘t you love how I rationalize things?)
Anyway…
I remember this one particular Saturday afternoon when my parents left the house, and I immediately ran to their bedroom so I could attacked my mothers earrings.
She had recently purchased a pair of new ear bangles, that had large hoops dangling from the clips.
So I carefully snapped them on my lobes and then took a curious look at myself in the mirror.
HOT DAMN…I looked like Cher!
I gently flipped my head from side to side, so I could feel the hoops hit my neck…when suddenly out of nowhere, my sister appeared at the doorway.
Well…
…you never saw a little boys face turn the BRIGHTEST shade of RED in all your life!
I said: “Wwwwwhat are YOU doing here, I thought you were out?”
And laughingly she said: “I can’t WAIT to tell mom and dad about this!”
HOLY SHIT…I’d been caught!!!
So I quickly pulled off the DAMN earrings and ran to my bedroom, where I got down on my knees and prayed to almighty god that my sister would suddenly lose the ability to speak for the rest of her life.
When my parents got home that evening, I thought that my sister would immediately run downstairs and start flapping her lips…but she didn’t.
And then I thought that MAYBE she decided to have mercy on me and wasn’t going to tell them.
But I was WRONG.
She was only waiting for the perfect moment…
After the entire family was seated at the dinner table, we all began to eat our salads.
And then my sister (in her smarmy-ass voice) said: “I have something I would like to TELL everyone.”
And my mother said: “Yes…what is it?”
My sister replied: “I would just like to let everyone know, that this afternoon I caught RONNIE in mom and dads bedroom, trying on mommies earrings!”
And just at that moment…
…I heard five salad forks hit the table.
And shit... look at me now!
Have a FUN weekend, everyone!
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