My inspiration for this post came from my dear, longtime blogging friend, Debbie @ Musings by an ND Domer's Mom, who is not only a gifted...
My mother once reminded me that when I was in my mid-teens, I casually said to her, “I can’t wait until I‘m forty.”
And she laughed, asking me, “What do you mean?”
I said, “I can’t wait until I reach forty years old, because something great is gonna happen to me."
“Yea, right…you’re saying that because you’re fourteen years old, but just wait until you actually GET to forty.”
And I said, “Yea, I can’t wait…..”
To be honest, most of my youth was spent in a constant state of inner struggle and frustration. I was always in a hurry to move ahead; wishing I was somewhere else other than where I was, and wishing I was someone else other than who I was.
I spent ten years of my younger adult life (30-39) trying to dramatically change myself, attempting to remove certain things that I didn’t like; shifting myself into a nice little organized puzzle. But ironically, all of my attempts to change myself, only kept leading me back to the original puzzle with missing pieces. And it took me one more year to finally find those missing pieces…..
You see, I never fully accepted myself for who and where I was at the time.
I was always trying to change myself before I was actually ready.
And most of what I thought needed changing, didn’t need to be changed.
So when I turned forty, I began to relax into my life.
My life was no longer about changing or fixing myself, but became more of a journey in embracing myself. Because as I began to embrace myself, I just naturally changed without any effort on my part, other than the willingness to allow myself to change with my life.
Age has brought me a tremendous amount of freedom….
the freedom to be who and where I am for right now
the freedom to accept and adapted
the freedom to dance with my life - to sometimes lead, and other times follow
the freedom to try something new and learn from my mistakes
the freedom to celebrate my strengths
the freedom to be conscious of my weaknesses
the freedom to laugh at myself
and the freedom to stop touching my life…
…and just let it be…
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