Friday, August 06, 2010

Your Office is Open

When I was kid there was a saying my father would always use on us boys, whenever we forgot to zip up our pant fly.

He would say, “Your office is open.”

And OH. MY. GOD…..that would embarrass the hell out of us, because to think we were walking around with our zipper open was like SO risqué .

Which makes me laugh, considering how many young people nowadays (guys AND girls), I see walking around with their pants hanging so low you can actually see their underwear. And sometimes the crack of their butt. It’s like they can’t quite decide if they want their pants on or off, so they just wear them halfway between. Which always looks as though they’re getting ready to fall off because they just had an sudden bowel explosion. I honestly don’t know how they do it. I mean do they use Velcro or Stitch Witchery to hold their pants in place? And how do they walk?

I realize this “look” represents a current hip-hop fashion trend, but to me it looks like a fashion FELONY.

I’m trying to imagine fashion icon, Coco Chanel, walking around like this today. I know she was the first clothing designer to create a more loose-fitting style for the women of her day, but I wonder how she would feel about clothes fitting THIS loose…

The sight of this truly irritates me beyond measure. It irritates me as much as wire hangers irritated Joan Crawford.

I want to scream, “NO PANTS HANGING BELOW YOUR ASS…..EVER!!!”

Such as it was the other day, while taking a quick coffee break at Starbucks. I noticed a 20ish something guy getting up from the table to leave, when all of a sudden I saw “it”….

….his pants hanging down below his plaid boxer shorts.

And no, I didn’t scream anything at him. But I wanted too, trust me.

Instead I thought, “Do you know how ridiculous you look? How embarrassing.”

Later that afternoon while I was walking out of the post office, I just so happen to look down at the front of my own pants.

And lo and behold.

My office was WIDE open……