Monday, March 21, 2011

Let's Talk About Easter Candy

I know it’s a bit early to be posting about Easter, but while standing in line at the drug store a few weeks back, I couldn't help but notice an isle that was already jammed packed with Easter baskets, bunny ears, egg dying kits, and of course…..Easter candy.

I have such fond childhood memories of Easter in the Carnavil family. My mother would always take us kids to Strawbridge’s department store to purchase a new Easter outfit to wear to church, which included a suit and tie, shoes, and a spiffy hat. She also made sure we each got our own Easter basket filled with green plastic straw and lots of sweet goodies.

One of our family traditions was dying hardboiled eggs with one of these Paas egg dying kits. *notice the price


I can still remember sitting around the kitchen table, writing our names on the eggs with a crayon and then dipping them into the various small bowls which contained water, vinegar, and egg dye. By the time we were finished, our hands and faces were covered in dye.

My mother always made sure we each had a large chocolate, coconut cream egg in the center of our Easter baskets which she would purchase from a special candy store. OMG…these eggs were so fresh and creamy that when you cut into one with a knife, the coconut would literally OOZE out of the egg. The taste was unbelievably sinful.

Surrounding the egg, my mother would place various other candies inside each one of our baskets; filling them to capacity.

It’s no wonder my teeth have five silver fillings, four crowns, and bridge.

My mouth looks like a poster that should be hanging in a dentists office with a caption that reads, SEE WHAT CANDY DOES TO YOUR TEETH?

Anyhoo, today I would like to share not only a few of my favorite Easter candies, but also one that’s my least favorite. I'll get to that last.


I could eat Cadbury Creme Eggs all year round. For me, whenever I eat a Cadbury egg it feels as though I should be listening to Donna Summer singing, Love to Love You Baby. The experience is positively orgasmic. I need a cigarette afterward.

I like to put two of these Malted Milk Eggs in my mouth at one time while sucking off the outside coating and then slowly biting into the malted center. When I was a kid, I use to enjoy rubbing the colored coating all over my lips and then looking at myself in the mirror because it appeared as though I was wearing lipstick. Gee…I wonder if that was any indication I was GAY???

I love jelly beans more than my own life. Especially Jelly Belly jelly beans. Once I start eating them I can’t stop. I love all the various colors and tastes, however these are my favorite…...

Yes, I know. Most people (with the exception of Chrissy) HATE black jelly beans. And most people think they look like little bunny turds. Which they do. But I’m sorry…black jelly beans to me are the greatest invention other than the laptop computer.

Finally, we have my least favorite Easter candy…..Peeps.

I’ve written several posts throughout the years, expressing my utter disdain and contempt for these retched little marshmallow heathens. First of all, I abhor marshmallow. Second, even though I love sweets, a Peep tastes like I’m biting into a 10lb. bag of sugar. Let’s just put it this way, if I were given the choice of either eating a Peep or starving to death, I would quickly choose death.

Oh, and look what I found online while googling Peeps…...

Peep lip balm!?!? I would sooner have my lips crack off and fall on the floor from extreme dryness, than use a Peep flavored lip balm.

Yes. As you can tell, I LOVE Peeps.....