My inspiration for this post came from my dear, longtime blogging friend, Debbie @ Musings by an ND Domer's Mom, who is not only a gifted...
As much as I’m in the minority of loving winter over summer because I much prefer being cold than hot, I know that I’m equally in the minority when it comes to my dislike of ONIONS.
Well…allow me to be a bit clearer on that.
It’s not really onions I dislike because I don’t mind their flavor in my food, it’s more so about the way they SMELL.
Especially raw onions.
Whenever I smell onions, I look around with my nose all pinched together and think to myself, “I wonder who’s got the smelly armpits?”
And then I quickly sniff my own….just to make sure it’s not ME.
Have you ever noticed how if you touch an onion with your hands, the smell stays on your fingertips for about the next TEN years????
And please don’t suggest I try rubbing a lemon on my hands because I’ve already attempted that and it doesn't work. In fact, I’ve rubbed a whole lemon TREE on my hands, yet all I got were fingertips that smelled like lemon scented ONIONS.
This is why whenever I go out for lunch and order a sandwich at my favorite deli, I will always remind them to NOT put onions ON or anywhere NEAR my sandwich because I don’t want their smell on me when I go back to work. There’s nothing worse than having a cosmetic sales associate do a moisturizer demonstration on a customer’s face, while their hands and breath smell like armpit manure.
Anyway, the whole reason for this post today is to share a story that happened to me earlier this week, concerning my dreadful disdain for the scent of onions.
Monday night, I purchase a premade Greek salad from Super Fresh to pair with a nice hot bowl of chicken noodle soup. While still in the store, I examined the contents thorough the plastic container, just to see how many onion slices they put on top. There appeared to be a minimal, so I purchased it.
HOWEVER, much to my surprise....
After I got home and took the lid off and began scooping out the onions with a fork, I quickly discovered just how MANY onion slices were cleverly hidden underneath the lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, olives, and feta cheese.
HA! Those sneaky little bastards.
The entire salad was swimming in an undertow of onions!
And the most frustrating part about it was that the onions kept getting stuck on the end of the fork, so I had use my fingers to remove them. At one point, I got so mad that I began FLINGING the onions off the fork into the trash can, only to have them go SAILING through the air; landing all over my kitchenette floor and walls.
My entire apartment began to smell like an onion field.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard such ear-melting profanity come out of my mouth as it did that night.
My two favorite words were MOTHER and FUCKER.
Anyway, after finally peeling the onions off the four walls of my studio apartment and then squirting them down with a bottle of Febreze, I wrapped the onion slices in FOUR plastic bags and then shoved the bag way at the bottom of the trash can, so that I didn’t have to smell them anymore…YET….hours later, when I opened the trash can to throw something out, I got hit in the nose with a boxing glove of ONION.
So, do you know what I did?
I grabbed that plastic bag of onions and then took the elevator down to the basement level of my apartment building, whereupon I DITCHED those suckers into the dumpster.
GOOD. RIDDANCE.
However, later that night after I went to sleep, I had a HORRIBLE nightmare.
A nightmare in which I was forced to take a job as sales representative for a new perfume on the market….
Have a GLORIOUS weekend everyone!
X
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